Women's sex drive after menopause?
- Thread starter Rob_Royale
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my catholic wife was a virgin when we got married a number of years ago. and until about 4 years or so ago, i believe that she had never even seen or touched another man's cock.
sex with her was always OK....lights always out, very little talking during sex, very standard stuff, etc.
after she went through menapause, things slowed down a bit from there for a while. then she went back to earn her masters degree in theology at night. after a little while her sex drive started to skyrocket. i assume that younger guys in her class were hitting on her and that lit her fuse.
My wife is very involved with our local catholic church and our diocese. She is on the parish's board of trustees and various diocese committees, she gets involved with different church ministries, she teaches religious education to teenagers and the like. She also started a Bible study group.
A few years back, we started to have some issues with our marriage, about the same time that my wife's sex drive started to increase dramatically. my wife told me that she needed counseling to cope with our situation and started going to the our parish priest for counseling. she ended up sleeping with the priest behind my back for about 6 months or so.
The guy she is fucking now is a younger stay-at-home husband in her Bible study group. she has been bending over for him for over 3 years now.
she has no idea that i know about either of her affairs. But I jerk off constantly just thinking about her cheating on me. and i love chatting about her and trading intimate pix and vids.
sex with her was always OK....lights always out, very little talking during sex, very standard stuff, etc.
after she went through menapause, things slowed down a bit from there for a while. then she went back to earn her masters degree in theology at night. after a little while her sex drive started to skyrocket. i assume that younger guys in her class were hitting on her and that lit her fuse.
My wife is very involved with our local catholic church and our diocese. She is on the parish's board of trustees and various diocese committees, she gets involved with different church ministries, she teaches religious education to teenagers and the like. She also started a Bible study group.
A few years back, we started to have some issues with our marriage, about the same time that my wife's sex drive started to increase dramatically. my wife told me that she needed counseling to cope with our situation and started going to the our parish priest for counseling. she ended up sleeping with the priest behind my back for about 6 months or so.
The guy she is fucking now is a younger stay-at-home husband in her Bible study group. she has been bending over for him for over 3 years now.
she has no idea that i know about either of her affairs. But I jerk off constantly just thinking about her cheating on me. and i love chatting about her and trading intimate pix and vids.
Islander55
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For some women, you can only keep up that good girl facade for so long. It is good that she is getting something extra and that you seem not to mind at all. If this is something you could talk about with her, it might well enhance the sex life for both of you.
Giant43
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I started on bio-identical hormones in my fifties and sailed through menopause. I moved to another state and was not able to find a doctor to prescribe these (southern U.S., Bible Belt, big fucking eye roll…)
Last year I stumbled across a clinic that prescribed bio-identical hormones, including the pellets mentioned in previous posts. I thought that sounded good. My pellet was mostly testosterone, and subsequent tests (and how I felt) showed that my dose wasn’t high enough, so I got a booster pellet. Which sent my testosterone levels through the roof!
I had five brothers and was the only girl. I worked in a non-traditional job with mostly men. I related more to men than women. But I didn’t really get just how much men think about sex until I was overdosed on testosterone. Geez!
And that’s how I found Literotica. ‘Nuff said. I think it’s a good story to write sometime…
i still recommend bio-identical hormones and the pellets. But maybe start with the cream first
Last year I stumbled across a clinic that prescribed bio-identical hormones, including the pellets mentioned in previous posts. I thought that sounded good. My pellet was mostly testosterone, and subsequent tests (and how I felt) showed that my dose wasn’t high enough, so I got a booster pellet. Which sent my testosterone levels through the roof!
I had five brothers and was the only girl. I worked in a non-traditional job with mostly men. I related more to men than women. But I didn’t really get just how much men think about sex until I was overdosed on testosterone. Geez!
And that’s how I found Literotica. ‘Nuff said. I think it’s a good story to write sometime…
i still recommend bio-identical hormones and the pellets. But maybe start with the cream first
Justhappytobealive
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After my wife came out of menopause we now have hallway sex….
ImiGirrst
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Latest update for those following my journey:
I am playing phone tag with my doc. I had my annual a couple of weeks ago, had a long discussion about HRT and the return of my libido, which I flat out told him I didn't want to lose. So he suggested that we run a hormone panel to see if we needed to go up or down on my estradiol.
I was surprised to read that my testosterone was on the low side. Now, of course I'm going to do my own research and found out that it is important to hit that level correctly too, to maintain muscle and bone density AND maintain my sex drive AND to avoid unhealthy weight gain AND to reduce fatigue AND to stave off brain fog. The latter three I've been chalking up to a different med and a different condition.
When I think about all the things I've discovered have been 'off', it's a wonder I can think at all or stay awake at all. And no wonder I didn't have a libido if all this stuff was going on. And I really never even considered that I had to check my testosterone.
So I'll report back once I find out what my doc thinks. But it's food for thought for those who are coping with the same dynamics.
I am playing phone tag with my doc. I had my annual a couple of weeks ago, had a long discussion about HRT and the return of my libido, which I flat out told him I didn't want to lose. So he suggested that we run a hormone panel to see if we needed to go up or down on my estradiol.
I was surprised to read that my testosterone was on the low side. Now, of course I'm going to do my own research and found out that it is important to hit that level correctly too, to maintain muscle and bone density AND maintain my sex drive AND to avoid unhealthy weight gain AND to reduce fatigue AND to stave off brain fog. The latter three I've been chalking up to a different med and a different condition.
When I think about all the things I've discovered have been 'off', it's a wonder I can think at all or stay awake at all. And no wonder I didn't have a libido if all this stuff was going on. And I really never even considered that I had to check my testosterone.
So I'll report back once I find out what my doc thinks. But it's food for thought for those who are coping with the same dynamics.
HampshireBoy
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My wife seems to be a fairly textbook case, now through the menopause - we're still very much in love, lots of kisses, cuddles and affection but very rarely feels like sex. She feels really guilty about it and I don't like to pester her, as surely that will make her feel worse. When we do have sex she enjoys it and sometimes it is like old times but we have dropped from 3 or 4 times a week to once every few weeks.
From what she says, a lot of her friends are the same.
She hasn't really suffered from the other "normal" symptoms like hot flushes, so we both kinda hoped she wouldn't lose her drive.
From what she says, a lot of her friends are the same.
She hasn't really suffered from the other "normal" symptoms like hot flushes, so we both kinda hoped she wouldn't lose her drive.
@ImmiGirsst
thank you for your input.
My wife is 60, and recently had to endure a forced retirement.
She had a politically based middle management job, and when upper management changed, they brought in their own people.
Those people are not qualified to do the job, and are still calling her for “ how do I do this?” questions a month later.It hit her
That on top of typical age/ hormonal weight gain, lack of energy, and the fact that she hasn’t had a really thorough examination over 20 years, has contributed to her current mental state. Her OBGYN retired, and she never sought out anew one.
She has almost no sex drive, argues about the little stuff, but clams up over bigger issues, and reads things into situations that are not there.
Im almost afraid to make any kind of suggestions , or decisions, as she takes them in a different way than they are meant . Heck I recommended a series of stories for her to read here on Literotica, and she turned them around , and read between the lines, that I wanted her to do things that were not there!
A lengthy conversation seems to have made her realize that just because I like reading certain things, or have fantasies about certain stuff, that it doesn’t mean I expect those things to happen for real!
I have finally gotten her to make a Gynecologist appointment , and she actually stated that she thinks she might need to talk to a therapist of some sort, but she wont make that call until she talks to her gyno.
Our youngest daughter is 36, and has had some female problems, so has researched doctors , and found one she really likes, so that’s where she is going.
I’m going to try and get her to read some of the things that have been discussed here, in the hopes that she doesn’t take them wrong!
thank you for your input.
My wife is 60, and recently had to endure a forced retirement.
She had a politically based middle management job, and when upper management changed, they brought in their own people.
Those people are not qualified to do the job, and are still calling her for “ how do I do this?” questions a month later.It hit her
That on top of typical age/ hormonal weight gain, lack of energy, and the fact that she hasn’t had a really thorough examination over 20 years, has contributed to her current mental state. Her OBGYN retired, and she never sought out anew one.
She has almost no sex drive, argues about the little stuff, but clams up over bigger issues, and reads things into situations that are not there.
Im almost afraid to make any kind of suggestions , or decisions, as she takes them in a different way than they are meant . Heck I recommended a series of stories for her to read here on Literotica, and she turned them around , and read between the lines, that I wanted her to do things that were not there!
A lengthy conversation seems to have made her realize that just because I like reading certain things, or have fantasies about certain stuff, that it doesn’t mean I expect those things to happen for real!
I have finally gotten her to make a Gynecologist appointment , and she actually stated that she thinks she might need to talk to a therapist of some sort, but she wont make that call until she talks to her gyno.
Our youngest daughter is 36, and has had some female problems, so has researched doctors , and found one she really likes, so that’s where she is going.
I’m going to try and get her to read some of the things that have been discussed here, in the hopes that she doesn’t take them wrong!
bimale1980ca
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Very hot and sent you an message. Here is a tease of my wife.
Seeing as I was not suppose to post pics of my wife in this thread I have deleted them.
Last edited:
bimale1980ca
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Very nice you have a high drive wish my wife did.
KatieDoes
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Your wife doesn’t have a high sex drive, but she also wants you to posts her nudes in a public online forum?
butters
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right?
butters
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s'okay, i sailed through menopause at 50, no noticeable symptoms. They waited a whole 10 years to show the fuck up. i'm now 64, husband's 72. I have to take a little care of my back and this limits us a bit position-wise though we do try and change things up with where, when, position with oral.
additional weight, thinning of vaginal tissue causing it to split almost every time we engaged in penetrative sex, a bunch of yeast infections till we got a handle on things, and a lack of sex drive mostly fueled by the discomfort and additional weight. Orgasms are like unicorns, since as much as i love oral sex it becomes too uncomfortable just about at the point when my clit's getting really interested. Very gentle oral works best, before penetrative sex, and masturbation is pretty much out of the question since the discomfort's not worth the unlikelihood of reaching O.
since i'm on a hypertension pill i cannot take hrt. So we've compromised by lots of lube, no pressure, and a willingness on my part to engage in oral at least once a week if not twice (almost always it's the starter to any sex we enjoy, anyway). We tend to manage things twice a week: once, oral for him—which i enjoy giving as it pleases me make him O—and the second time is generally penetrative. I might not O, but i still get pleasure from it and the intimacy. It takes a good three days, even with the lube, for my bits to feel 'recovered' and the splitting is rare now since we've worked out the best amounts of lube to use. Things can get super slippy, though, so care needs to be taken and there's not a lot of movement on my part, lol., and he hits my clit, it feels like it's been ripped off and that is NOT a good feeling!
So anyway, we still manage to get somethin'' somethin' about twice a week, even if it's not with the same passion and drive we had when we first met about 10 years ago.
Having said all this, if both partners have great companionship, shared as well as individual interests, and both are not feeling so sexy as they get older, what's wrong with dropping the sex? Men shouldn't feel guilty if they have ED issues as they age, just as women shouldn't feel pressured if they no longer have a sex drive. Yes, sex can be great, but it shouldn't be the lynchpin of a marriage/partnership. The IS a lot of pressure put on men to take ED meds to prolong sex into their 80s, and women are expected to make sex almost as much a priority as they age as it was when they were twenty! All i'm saying is that evaluate your relationships and see how they would suffer, or not; you might be surprised. ED and HRT were there for reasons other than getting your jollies in your old age, but business has a vested interest in making you feel you need to be 'young, slim & sexayyy'. Both being on the same page, though, there's the rub.
One last thing: i've known women whose husbands agreed their sex lives were pretty much a lovely memory, only to find their libido returning once all pressure was off!
additional weight, thinning of vaginal tissue causing it to split almost every time we engaged in penetrative sex, a bunch of yeast infections till we got a handle on things, and a lack of sex drive mostly fueled by the discomfort and additional weight. Orgasms are like unicorns, since as much as i love oral sex it becomes too uncomfortable just about at the point when my clit's getting really interested. Very gentle oral works best, before penetrative sex, and masturbation is pretty much out of the question since the discomfort's not worth the unlikelihood of reaching O.
since i'm on a hypertension pill i cannot take hrt. So we've compromised by lots of lube, no pressure, and a willingness on my part to engage in oral at least once a week if not twice (almost always it's the starter to any sex we enjoy, anyway). We tend to manage things twice a week: once, oral for him—which i enjoy giving as it pleases me make him O—and the second time is generally penetrative. I might not O, but i still get pleasure from it and the intimacy. It takes a good three days, even with the lube, for my bits to feel 'recovered' and the splitting is rare now since we've worked out the best amounts of lube to use. Things can get super slippy, though, so care needs to be taken and there's not a lot of movement on my part, lol., and he hits my clit, it feels like it's been ripped off and that is NOT a good feeling!
So anyway, we still manage to get somethin'' somethin' about twice a week, even if it's not with the same passion and drive we had when we first met about 10 years ago.
Having said all this, if both partners have great companionship, shared as well as individual interests, and both are not feeling so sexy as they get older, what's wrong with dropping the sex? Men shouldn't feel guilty if they have ED issues as they age, just as women shouldn't feel pressured if they no longer have a sex drive. Yes, sex can be great, but it shouldn't be the lynchpin of a marriage/partnership. The IS a lot of pressure put on men to take ED meds to prolong sex into their 80s, and women are expected to make sex almost as much a priority as they age as it was when they were twenty! All i'm saying is that evaluate your relationships and see how they would suffer, or not; you might be surprised. ED and HRT were there for reasons other than getting your jollies in your old age, but business has a vested interest in making you feel you need to be 'young, slim & sexayyy'. Both being on the same page, though, there's the rub.
One last thing: i've known women whose husbands agreed their sex lives were pretty much a lovely memory, only to find their libido returning once all pressure was off!
bimale1980ca
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So happy to hear that and really hope my wife is like you when the time comes.I still have one.
Rob_Royale
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This is a discussion thread of a serious subject. It's not a place to show off your wife. There are dozens of threads for that. Have a little class.
KatieDoes
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He completely ignored my post about whether or not his wife consented to those pics being posted….. which almost certainly means that she has no idea he’s doing it.
I wonder why she doesn’t want to fuck him? It’s a mystery.
haventdonethat
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Mans sex drive after manopause?
Yes, I re-titled this thread just so I could add a few thoughts of my own. Apologies for the hijack.Women are not the only ones affected by ageing bodies. Mine still works, albeit a lot slower and frequency is not the same as when younger. And to make it worse in my minds eye, I met a wonderful younger woman, by only 8 years, who has the sex drive of a twenty something. She is multi multi multi orgasmic and quite insatiable. Thankfully she is a great person, nonjudgmental and non demanding.
We have learned that there are other methods of satisfaction, for both of us, for the times when my body gives up the ghost, so to speak. No one is more surprised than me to find out I do not need to orgasm every night to be completely satisfied. We do have nights when we agree “it’s a go to sleep night” without any hint of sex. No to say there isn’t some cuddling, feeling our bodies and talking.
Am I doing anything to help matters? I’m trying; quit smoking years ago, less alcohol, more walking etc etc.
For now, all is right in our (sexy) world.
Ssbbw4u1974
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I'm 49 now, and lately have been extremely sexually aroused, but I've noticed it takes the right person... The right conversation, and the right timing for me to orgasm... Just like most situations with any woman I'm sure..
bimale1980ca
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My apploliges for posting in the wrong thread.
KatieDoes
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Did you have the consent of the woman in those photos to post them publicly or not?
bimale1980ca
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Not nice to see people making assumtions on these threads too. Just because I hadn't yet responded to your post doesn't mean that I "igonred it" it is Sunday evening and I've been busy with things and not online very much. I'll spare you quoting about making assumtions. Yes, I'm sorry I posted in the wrong forum and didn't mean to offend anyone and have removed those pics.
KatieDoes
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Did. You. Have. Her. Consent?
butters
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he seems to be skating on answering that little nugget.
KatieDoes
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Of course he is…. but at least any litsters that might have considered engaging him or sharing pics or details know not to. If that’s how he treats his wife, imagine how he treats someone in a more casual relationship? Fucking creep.
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