Women's sex drive after menopause?

[Rob_Royale]

My wife and I have been together for 31 years and change, and for 30 or so enjoyed a terrific sex life. At about the same time she started menopause, I developed ED. I've been taking steps on the ED, exercising, eating less, Cialis etc. However, only moderate success. We talked about it last night and she finally admitted that her sex drive has nearly disappeared entirely due to menopause and that I really shouldn't worry too much about the ED. She mentioned that it's often a permanent thing after menopause as well. My limited online investigations seem to bear that out. I'm going to continue my efforts at getting healthier but I'm not ready to give up on our sex life.

What success after menopause have you folks had at restarting your or your spouse's sex drive after menopause? I'd really like some advice. Please do not bother mentioning options that include swinging or any other sort of sharing. Neither of us is interested. We will be talking to our doctor.

We are still loving and intimate and make efforts to make sure that we don't end up being roommates instead of lovers. We're both committed to that, and it's the only bright side to this. Any insight would be appreciated.

 

[KatieDoes]

I’m not there yet, but speak openly with women friends that are. For a lot of women, penetrative sex post menopause is painful. I agree with April that you seem to have a lovely relationship and are probably on a good path to be able to share continued intimacy. Removing the pressure to achieve PIV sex could be beneficial for you both. There are lots of ways to be intimate that don’t require that. If you are able to accept that it isn‘t the be all, end all, of sex and intimacy, you might find ways to enjoy each others bodies and share that closeness even more.

 

[ImiGirrst]

My wife and I have been together for 31 years and change, and for 30 or so enjoyed a terrific sex life. At about the same time she started menopause, I developed ED. I've been taking steps on the ED, exercising, eating less, Cialis etc. However, only moderate success. We talked about it last night and she finally admitted that her sex drive has nearly disappeared entirely due to menopause and that I really shouldn't worry too much about the ED. She mentioned that it's often a permanent thing after menopause as well. My limited online investigations seem to bear that out. I'm going to continue my efforts at getting healthier but I'm not ready to give up on our sex life.

What success after menopause have you folks had at restarting your or your spouse's sex drive after menopause? I'd really like some advice. Please do not bother mentioning options that include swinging or any other sort of sharing. Neither of us is interested. We will be talking to our doctor.

We are still loving and intimate and make efforts to make sure that we don't end up being roommates instead of lovers. We're both committed to that, and it's the only bright side to this. Any insight would be appreciated.

There is no doubt that menopause changes sex. But I also think there is a lot of stuff going on that age as well that needs to be considered beyond just the change of life. I've got a big ole opinion on this topic, so the following might be helpful, or not at all.

First off, please remember that technically, menopause is the time after you stop having your period for a year. But the time of perimenopause, when your body starts gearing down, can be a 5 to 10 year precursor. Well, unless you had kids VERY young, like late teens, really early 20s, you're still raising them when this starts to hit. And if you are trying to handle a job, and potentially parents that are gearing down - well, you really don't have time or energy to really be considering what is going on with your body, never mind sex drive.
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So I'd like the men out there that are saying they are in a sexless marriage, when their spouses are between 40 and 60 - please consider that they may not have TIME and they may not have ENERGY to be horny, even if they weren't dealing with the fatigue of hormones all over the place. I mean, people complain about how difficult women are anyway on the rag - now they have a whole other set of hormones that aren't functioning.
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Hello, *waves* poster child for this. So my ex fell into the same pit that I've observed from many men. He equated love with sex and because I wasn't interested in spontaneous sex any more and I wasn't getting horny for him, that I had lost interest in him or I didn't love him. And he purported that he didn't want to push me to do anything I didn't want to do.
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Now, many years later, I wonder how much of this was a line from him. Because he certainly didn't act upon what I told him. First that I missed being horny. I wasn't getting horny for anyone else, so don't take it personally. Just because I was having a lot of difficulty orgasming, didn't mean that sex no longer felt good. I knew that sexual intimacy was important to men and important to marriage so could we please put aside 1 day every two weeks for two hours to have a sex date? Because then I could clear my mind and my schedule where I could make arrangement to focus on sex. I could take my time, we could experiment with how my body had changed, try new things. The old positions didn't have a payoff and the ones that used to didn't, now maybe did. My lining was thinning so the all out banging would really hurt. Yes, I used to crave it but now, not so much. And I didn't appreciate the shit eating grin for making me walk funny - it wasn't the same funny walking as when I really wanted a pounding. No, you can't change positions that often any more, but you'll rub me raw. No, I don't get that wet anymore, that doesn't mean I don't want to be intimate. No artificial lube will never be as good as natural lube, so ya gotta use more and often.
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And lastly, you're going to really piss me off if you want to drop and go for it when I have a stack of shit to do and you aren't helping me with it. And if you try to help me with it but you do it wrong because you just want to get it done any old way because you want to fuck. And you should have been more observant about the right way to get it done because it's a lot of stuff that is repetitive. And you only even try doing it when you want to get laid, not when I need you to help or when there might be those fleeting time when I might want to fuck and I have to strike before it disappears. And if the ONLY time you touch me is as a precursor to getting laid, of course I am going to shrug you off, because you are treating me as your bitch. So here I am.
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[ImiGirrst]

So, after that rant, what can I offer? Because all of this was true for me and more. I really got wound up when I would go looking for some physical comfort and he didn't have time for me. So what else was I supposed to think when he touched me? That he wanted sex. So I would bristle because of all the things above, even the times he wasn't. And then he would take offense, rather than talk about it or hear me.
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So, he left for me a tinkerbell 30 years his junior 5 years ago. Mind you, we had an open marriage so I was okay with him getting his rocks off elsewhere because I had lost my horns.
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But now? I can see some of the horns returning. Not much but just a glimmer. Because my secondary partner has been willing to do many of those things that my ex wasn't, like setting aside enough time to give me time to relax and explore. I didn't know it at the time but he was adding to my stress because he wouldn't engage in our family. I don't have to worry about what he thinks or what he's going to do etc anymore. I dont have to wonder if he's going to help me - I know I gotta figure it out. My kid is older and more self-sufficient. My dad is gone. I've been properly diagnosed for the other issues I didn't even know I was struggling with. I'm not as tired.
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So I've just been dipping my toe back in to the world of dating, taking it slow. And I feel the tingle. Not much, but a whole lot more than there has been. And I'm getting the things I crave without the sex. The conversation, the interest in what I do, the attention, the text messages - all these is not actual sex, but it IS all sexual and much forplay when it comes to the Venus brain. Having a partner who helps you out without having to ask, for no other reason than lifting the load and taking care of you? That's sexy as HELL. Especially one who doesn't treat you as incapable. If it's because you don't think she can - well, that's annoying. And women can read that underlying subtext. But if you are helping because you WANT to, because you want to impress me, because you want to be worthy of me? That's sexy - and that let's us tap back into our femininity
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And that's the other part of menopause that is challenging. Our sexuality to wrapped up in baby making - that's what makes us feminine. And we're losing that. So we have to figure out how we are still girls instead of its. Having a guy court us, albeit in a somewhat different way, inspires us to get back in touch with that part of us. When we remember that you are the father of our kids, we remember that feminitiy. When you give us an excuse to dress up - we get in touch with our feminity. When you give us a reason to dance, you give us a physical chance to get back in touch with our femininity.
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If you're going to be married a lifetime, you have to fall in love many times and in different ways. Remind her why you fell in love with you, and it has to be done over a time period, not just the night you got laid. Start doing it regularly, and watch to see if SHE starts wanting to get laid herself.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm sure you've figured out by now, being that you're older and wiser, that women tend to get aroused before the private times can happen.
Feet rubs, do her chores for a day..body rubs just for her, flowers... Etc.
Don't just tell her she's beautiful, have her tell herself she's beautiful ..
she may feel like she's not good enough, as a sex partner.
Keep communicating

 

[Rob_Royale]

@ImiGirrst and @Ssbbw4u1974
Thank you both for your input. I like to think that I check most of those boxes, but I could always do more. Appreciated.

 

[coati]

I've been with the same gf for the past 18 years, and she has been in menopause for the past 15 years. We get each other off in some erotic way at least once every week or two. The main reason we can maintain this is because we respect each other, talk every day either in person or on the phone, stay physically active, and avoid extended conflicts. Because we both had bad marriages in the past, we know what to avoid.

We like mutual oral sex and mutual masturbation or fucking with plenty of lube. We both need and appreciate affection daily (and sometimes hourly).

 

[Saint_Ann]

I dunno. Everybody's different.

 

[albertaboy]

My wife and I have been married almost 37 years, we are about to be 60 & 58. Our sex life has always been pretty good, have tried most things more than once over the years.
In 2018 my wife got breast cancer which was triple positive which means hormones were partly responsible. It threw us off completely, first the surgery and chemo for obvious reasons but she takes a drug called tamoxifin for a total of 5 years with one to go that causes excessive joint pain and muscle cramps which is worse at night.
Partially just because we fell out of cadence and partially because we now need lube etc and she just doesn't feel great most of the time our sex life has become sparse to say the least.
What are you going to do, she feels pretty shitty, one of her favourite girl parts tried to kill her, she gained weight by being thrown into menopause completely pretty much overnight and doesn't like the way she looks.
It's just part of life

 

[Windman1]

menopause is a cruel bitch for sure, it has completely taken away my wife's and my sex life. I’m retired and she still works so I do most of the house chores. I try to get her to go on walks and go kayaking or hiking with me but there is just no interest. She is pleasant enough to be around and do things with the grand kids but she just isn’t interested in me so much anymore. At this point if I want any sexual intimacy at all I’m on my own. It’s my problem to solve. My only option is to seek it outside of my marriage. Since I am bisexual I seek it mainly with other married men who are in the same situation as I am. Having a friend with benefits seems to work as long as she doesn’t know about it. It’s not a perfect solution, but I don’t think there is one. It’s all I have available to me.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Robroy1968, I’m in the same boat as yourself right down to the year mix! Menopause hit about a two yrs ago for us, but it has kicked in with a vengeance over this last six months.

For her part she’s tried a couple of things with moderate to good success. Crème’s and OIl‘s to help with the physical side and joined an online women’s support group for the mental side. I’ve posted about this in other threads but I’ll repost a PM below to another Lit member that was walking the same path as us. I hope y‘all can get some ideas:

My wife is the same. Everything is organic but if she’s interested just do some due diligence and research everything.

The creme she uses is called Silky Peachy Crème…the web site was Parlorgames.com or org (I think). Should be able to just put it in the search.

It won’t let me upload a pic but the name of the other creme is Organic excellence Balance Plus Therapy
organicexcellece.com

The oil is a CBD based sort of thing used for arousal. I can attest that it works as she puts it on me also! I’ll get you the name later.

PS here is the crème web: https://www.parlor-games.com/shop/SPCMASTER.html

DEAH oil( a CBD Derivative Is called BHRT Naturals.

As for me…I”m struggling with the lack of desire and intimacy from her. I’ve tried to understand and be more supportive but it’s hard when she doesn’t pick up on little flirtations and things that would crank us up in the past. Good luck on your journey into this next step of life.

PS: here is some other good info you might be interested in. It helped my wife understand what she’s going through:

Unresponsive desire: never in the mood
responsive-vs-spontaneous-desire/

 

[RandyRebecca]

I'm 39, and I'm a bit weary of what the perimenopause and menopause will do to me when it hits. I've always had a high sex drive, apart from the first few months after I've given birth.

 

[Lady2020]

My wife and I have been together for 31 years and change, and for 30 or so enjoyed a terrific sex life. At about the same time she started menopause, I developed ED. I've been taking steps on the ED, exercising, eating less, Cialis etc. However, only moderate success. We talked about it last night and she finally admitted that her sex drive has nearly disappeared entirely due to menopause and that I really shouldn't worry too much about the ED. She mentioned that it's often a permanent thing after menopause as well. My limited online investigations seem to bear that out. I'm going to continue my efforts at getting healthier but I'm not ready to give up on our sex life.

What success after menopause have you folks had at restarting your or your spouse's sex drive after menopause? I'd really like some advice. Please do not bother mentioning options that include swinging or any other sort of sharing. Neither of us is interested. We will be talking to our doctor.

We are still loving and intimate and make efforts to make sure that we don't end up being roommates instead of lovers. We're both committed to that, and it's the only bright side to this. Any insight would be appreciated.

I'm not sure I get what you're saying about menopause. You're saying after menopause women's sex drives die?

 

[Missk_2022]

My wife and I have been together for 31 years and change, and for 30 or so enjoyed a terrific sex life. At about the same time she started menopause, I developed ED. I've been taking steps on the ED, exercising, eating less, Cialis etc. However, only moderate success. We talked about it last night and she finally admitted that her sex drive has nearly disappeared entirely due to menopause and that I really shouldn't worry too much about the ED. She mentioned that it's often a permanent thing after menopause as well. My limited online investigations seem to bear that out. I'm going to continue my efforts at getting healthier but I'm not ready to give up on our sex life.

What success after menopause have you folks had at restarting your or your spouse's sex drive after menopause? I'd really like some advice. Please do not bother mentioning options that include swinging or any other sort of sharing. Neither of us is interested. We will be talking to our doctor.

We are still loving and intimate and make efforts to make sure that we don't end up being roommates instead of lovers. We're both committed to that, and it's the only bright side to this. Any insight would be appreciated.

I was so glad to read what you said about you and your wife maintaining an intimate relationship. If you lose intimacy you are in trouble. I have gone through menopause and I would say that my sex drive has decreased. I have other friends that say that theirs is gone and with the physiological changes after menopause for instance vaginal drying and thinning there could even be pain with sex. I think if I had to give you any advice it would be don't rush the process. You may just have moved into a different phase. I'm hopeful that with talking to a doctor that there may be additional medications I know with women if you're hormonally messed up that you don't have a sex drive so that may be an option. Counseling might be an option there's lots of sex counselors out there that could help guide you through it. It's always better to start before you're having a problem then if you're smack dagger dab in the middle of it. I hope my words helped and I wish you both the best...miss k

 

[ImiGirrst]

I am delighted to report there must be sunspots hitting Serpens or some such, because my libido made an appearance last week after being AWOL for 16 years. I thought this feeling was never going to show up again - I thought it was gone for good!
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Now, I have no idea how long it's going to stick around or when it will POOF, but I'm going to enjoy feeling it as long as I can! I figure I have a better chance of winning the lottery than believing it will stick around for. Thus, I have girded my loins, such that they are, in preparation.

 

[Handeguy]

I am delighted to report there must be sunspots hitting Serpens or some such, because my libido made an appearance last week after being AWOL for 16 years. I thought this feeling was never going to show up again - I thought it was gone for good!
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Now, I have no idea how long it's going to stick around or when it will POOF, but I'm going to enjoy feeling it as long as I can! I figure I have a better chance of winning the lottery than believing it will stick around for. Thus, I have girded my loins, such that they are, in preparation.

Good for you! Roll with it and enjoy!

 

[Lifestyle66]

My wife and I have been together for 31 years and change, and for 30 or so enjoyed a terrific sex life. At about the same time she started menopause, I developed ED. I've been taking steps on the ED, exercising, eating less, Cialis etc. However, only moderate success. We talked about it last night and she finally admitted that her sex drive has nearly disappeared entirely due to menopause and that I really shouldn't worry too much about the ED. She mentioned that it's often a permanent thing after menopause as well. My limited online investigations seem to bear that out. I'm going to continue my efforts at getting healthier but I'm not ready to give up on our sex life.

What success after menopause have you folks had at restarting your or your spouse's sex drive after menopause? I'd really like some advice. Please do not bother mentioning options that include swinging or any other sort of sharing. Neither of us is interested. We will be talking to our doctor.

We are still loving and intimate and make efforts to make sure that we don't end up being roommates instead of lovers. We're both committed to that, and it's the only bright side to this. Any insight would be appreciated.

For women and even men's sex drives, hormones seem to be the key. As your body ages, it decreases production of some of those hormones needed for the energy and sex drive. For women, after menopause or a hysterectomy, their body might stop producing estrogen and testosterone (yes, women also need some testosterone for the sex drive).

Look for a "med spa" for a doctor consultation to see if hormone replacement therapy is a good fit. They'll require a blood test to determine your hormone levels and advise what those levels should be. For example, healthy younger men have testosterone levels between 300 to 900 ng. If a man's level is lower than 300, he'll probably find getting an erection difficult. If it's over 900, he'll probably find he gets edgy and angry easily (my experience.) And for women, depending on their family history, hormone therapy needs to be considered against the risk of breast cancer (which is probably why many doctors don't suggest it.).

I know several women who undergo slow-release hormone treatments every three months. It's a quick, five-minute procedure where the doc makes a small incision (quarter inch in the butt), then inserts a small straw to push several pellets in under the skin. They put a bandage on it for two days, and a week later, the woman's more energetic, sleeps better, and her sex drive will increase.

The level of sex drive increase may depend on other mental or social factors. One of the women I know says she LIKES having more sex, but she tends to keep her desires well controlled. Two other women seemed to find their desires increase to the point of NEEDING more sex.

My wife and I both tried these. My male experience started with a blood tested level of 600 ng. The doc asked if I still wanted the treatment, and I said "Okay, why not?" So, he inserted the pellets. Over the next few months, I finally realized I was reacting differently, which is why I describe it as an "edgy" feeling and didn't follow up with any further replacements (every 6 months for men).

My wife, however, begins feeling lethargic and tires easily towards the end of her 3-month replacement cycle. Within a week of receiving a new set of pellets, she's back to needing me or toys almost every night and enjoying a higher energy level throughout the day.

This may not be the approach for everyone. But consider it "food for thought".

 

[Lifestyle66]

With regards to my description of the hormone pellet effects above, my wife has been on these quarterly treatments for two years, which is how I've come to recognize the real effect on her.

When she starts complaining of feeling tired over a period of a few days, I'll ask her how long it's been since her last new pellets, and she'll check her appointment calendar. She's realized it's about ten weeks into the latest set when the effects start to decline. And as soon as they're replaced, she's back to energetic again in about a week. So, we've seen this cycle repeat eight times.

 

[eomerson]

I love that some of you can have open communications. My wife has shut down for years. If you try to talk, she gets mad. She refuses to talk and wouldn't consider therapy. Keep those lines of comm7nication open! It takes two, I know, but do what you can.

 

[ImiGirrst]

I love that some of you can have open communications. My wife has shut down for years. If you try to talk, she gets mad. She refuses to talk and wouldn't consider therapy. Keep those lines of comm7nication open! It takes two, I know, but do what you can.

ImiGirrst Part I

So I'm finding i have a lot to say on this topic, and I hope someone finds it insightful and useful. Mostly, I think I just need to write it for myself....​

that's a tough thing when we get into a rut like this. I think women get really afraid of considering HRT, for a lot of reasons. We got spooked when then study came out that HRT can cause cancer - but my understanding is that there has been another reversal on that front. But we get hyper-focused on the bad stuff, rather than refocused on the good. Plus so many women had lousy experiences with the pill, that they think the same thing will happen. And the pill tended to decrease the libido, rather than allowing it to function. We were more aroused not being on it - I know I loved being off of it.
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But as an older woman, I found that the pill - to start out with - evened out so many of my symptoms that were driving me and my family crazy. The discussion with my doc - who is just fabulous, but I know not every woman gets a gyn she adores - was very candid about how the dosage would progress and what we wanted it to accomplish - and could we do it safely.
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It might be worth while to ask your wife if she really likes her doctor. Does she have confidence in him/her? It might be a more productive way of starting the conversation.
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I've been wasting a lot of time lately on TikTok/FB Reels, but what has been coming my way lately has been very useful to me. I think the snippets are actually supposed to be geared toward men of our type, with understanding why wives have shut down. They resonate so much - and I think i get them because I need validation for my own feelings and judgements. I'm in a big healing time at the moment as I move forward from my life with my narcissistic ex. And it's not just an armchair diagnosis. It comes from my therapist, who was our marriage counselor, so he saw my ex in action - it's an actual professional assessment.​

.​

So the algorithms moved from clips about narcissism to clips about translating what your wife/GF's actions mean and what to do about them. If anyone is interested, I'll follow up with people to follow that I think are particularly good and on point. Some are women, some are men, some are gentle, some are brutal.​

.​

 

[ImiGirrst]

ImiGirrst Part II​

​

Okay, back to the topic of communication. I know I would, and still can, react very defensively when my spouse, or anyone for that matter, appears to question my decision making ability. You may not mean it that way, but I would certainly take it that way. Part of the reason is that * I * question my decision making ability, and I'm struggling with it. When you do to, it feels like it's a personal attack. Whether it is or not is immaterial. Feelings tend to be totally irrational.
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If you can avoid touching a feeling at the discussion entry point, then you can actually enter the discussion. And be aware that you will get farther is you offer empathy examples. Because it's really rare that men off what they are thinking or feeling. I think it's that toxicity that they are trained into - they can't be strong if they have emotional. They MUST be the ROCK *caveman sound*. So if they do have emotion, then they can't show it.
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That brings me to a concept I call elasticity. The ability to move from one emotion to another, depending on life's circumstances. Women live in a world of elasticity and men don't. It's a concept that is foreign to men, or at least most men I've met. Yet, when I have words to explain it to them, the most open men are glad to have learned about it, not only to understand their spouses better, but to have that option open to then as well!
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So what is elasticity? How do you mean move from one emotion to another? Well, some people can go from being balls of helpless jello to rocks with a steel core in the matter of hours - sometimes moments - depending on the situation. I think that ability confuses those who don't have it. It scares them, especially if the person who sees it is more comfortable with a static state. For many people, the uncertainty, variability, inconsistency is scary as HELL. They can't handle when a person shows vulnerability, especially the one they depend on.
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I have this difficulty with my mother. It's only been in the last few years that I have become acutely aware how much she depends on me being the way she perceives me. Or why. When I show vulnerability, she's terrified, but will only admit it when she has no clue she is doing so. She is fiercely protective of me, not necessarily as my protector, but because of what I do for her. I had a rebound relationship a couple of years ago, where she was absolutely insistent on meeting the guy, and then did not like him on sight. And it was a completely double standard - he acted like my dad did. And then, when we were talking about it in a group of friends, I was dumbfounded when she provided what she meant to come across as a funny comment, but was brutally honest - she was afraid he was going to take me away from doing for her.
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So why is this important? I think it is a critical concept in how we share with each other. I think men automatically go to the place that if they show vulnerability, women will think less of them - will think they aren't strong enough. That clouds how they think of women, because if women show vulnerability, they never again think the woman can be strong - and consequently their actions show that attitude.
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So some women start closing themselves off, because they don't like the fact that their spouses treat them as incapable all the time, nor do they like the tfact that their spouses refuse to rely on them as a consequence. This is the start of where there is no ebb and flow to the relationship. Women want men to know they can be relied on, when women can see damn well that their men are hurting and are keeping it in.

 

[ImiGirrst]

ImiGirrst Part III​

So the next step is that if men won't share, then women won't either. For some, it's spiteful. For others, it's fear. For still others, it's trust erosion. Because trust that doesn't go both ways isn't really trust - it's dependence. I live in my head, and I live to solve problems, so figuring out this dynamic and speaking it aloud is part of my healing process. But most people simply don't live in their heads like I do. And with kids and work and parents and hobbies and and and, how do you fight this out? I don't have time to read a book, so when I do, it had damn well better be a good one. I'd rather get lost in a good fanfic story than read a self-help book from the latest guru who has he has all the answers but is really a self indulgent douche canoe who somehow got a book deal.
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So the plot thickens. Both sexes start dealing with their own physiological changes in their 40s and 50s. And it's hard enough trying to figure it out. We can't give voice to what the fuck is going on - and it often gets misunderstood as yet another example of not wanting to share. So the resentment deepens. And when we do try to communicate, it's wrapped up with old triggers becasue the old dog has no idea how to learn new tricks, so the other just gets more pissed.
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Soon we stop trying because doing nothing doesn't seem to cause more pain, which is better than taking the risk to try, which past experience tells us will be unsuccessful.
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Soon we get to the point of losing hope. Where we become convinced that we can't do anything about this communication problem, even though we think we love the other person. We do know that our finances and our lives are wrapped up with the other, and we certainly don't want destroy what we have built our life times to built - and we certainly don't want to change what our kids think of us - that we might be human.
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So we start looking for someone to fill those gaps. And because the person is new, and we are the age we are, and because we have learned a bit, we might find someone to supplement those gaps. Because the new relationship has all of the benefits of learning and none of the detriments of learning the hard way.
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For me, nothing I tried could break through my ex's funk. First he became convinced that there would be nothing more. And then he became convinced that because there would be nothing more, when he found someone to start over with, he did. He was hurt long enough, so if he was going to cause pain by changing the situation - well, he already gave at the office.
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You can't do anything with someone who isn't even willing to open a door. You can try different keys - like being open to the fact that you've both got a trigger - so frame the query in a way tht you both can show your vulnerabilities, which can then lead to a deeper understanding of your elasticity - which then might allow you to see the strength that also exists in both you. But if there is no keyhole to try the key - what the fuck can youdo? But decide if what you have is less or greater than you could have if you upset the apple cart.
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You have to be willing to search to know if you are willing to pay the price to try. Many times, we aren't willing. Until we are in menopause or andropause when our applecart is all over the place anyway. What's one more flip in the grand scheme of things?
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WOW, I did not know I had that much in me.

 

[eomerson]

Nicely said and don't apologize for the length of your post. You had something constructive to say and shared!

 

[Lifestyle66]

I love that some of you can have open communications. My wife has shut down for years. If you try to talk, she gets mad. She refuses to talk and wouldn't consider therapy. Keep those lines of comm7nication open! It takes two, I know, but do what you can.

My wife heard about the slow-release hormone therapy five or six years ago, and she didn't believe the woman who told her about it. It wasn't until just three years ago when she randomly met two different women within a few weeks who both told her the same thing about those hormone effects they personally enjoyed. Then she looked for a place to get them, and we both went for it.

So, while your wife might not listen to you, sometimes it's random chance when she might be receptive to learning new things. Don't lose hope.

 

[Lifestyle66]

ImiGirrst Part I​

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So I'm finding i have a lot to say on this topic, and I hope someone finds it insightful and useful. Mostly, I think I just need to write it for myself....​

that's a tough thing when we get into a rut like this. I think women get really afraid of considering HRT, for a lot of reasons. We got spooked when then study came out that HRT can cause cancer - but my understanding is that there has been another reversal on that front. But we get hyper-focused on the bad stuff, rather than refocused on the good.

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My wife's receiving her HRT pellets from a real, licensed MD who also has a practice in the hospital, with his HRT health spa clinic as side business. She has also discussed this with her female breast specialist MD, who she sees every six months to monitor her in her high-risk category.

The breast specialist warned her there is a slightly higher risk of cancer with the increased estrogen of the pellets. But both she and my wife agree it's a valid personal choice by my wife to use them as she enjoys the benefits improving her "quality of life".