When and when not to capitalize "mom/mother" and "dad/father"

[PapaRomantic]

I'm sure there is a rule about this in the English language, but I don't remember it being taught. What are your opinions and guidelines for capitalizing mom/mother and dad/father when you are writing them in your story?

Thanks in advance!

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I use capitalized when used as a form of address, uncapitalized when a regular noun.

 

[XerXesXu]

I write my Mum and Dad with capitals, other peoples' without. There is no rule, it's a matter of how you feel about your parents. I'm sure that there's specialist advice you'll be given if you want to write incest.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I presolved that dillemma by never capitalizing them unless they start a sentance.

 

[alohadave]

I'm sure there is a rule about this in the English language, but I don't remember it being taught. What are your opinions and guidelines for capitalizing mom/mother and dad/father when you are writing them in your story?

Thanks in advance!

http://www.signejorgenson.com/2019/03/11/why-arent-mom-and-dad-always-capitalized/

Proper nouns are capitalized and common nouns aren’t. In other words, when “Mom” and “Dad” are used in place of a person’s name, they’re capitalized. When “mom” and “dad” describe a generic parental relationship, they’re lowercased. Here’s an example:


After school, Mom took me to my piano lesson.
After school, my mom took me to my piano lesson.

 

[SimonDoom]

What Joy of Cooking and AlohaDave said. Capitalize when it's a form of address, or when the term is used in place of a proper name.

Examples:

After lunch, my mother went to the store.

After lunch, Mom went to the store.

"What's the problem, Mom?"

Bob Wilson was my coach.

I asked Coach Wilson for batting tips.

Reference: Chicago Manual of Style, section 8.36 (17th ed.).

 

[Bramblethorn]

http://www.signejorgenson.com/2019/03/11/why-arent-mom-and-dad-always-capitalized/

Something I find helpful in remembering this principle is to try swapping out the "Mom"/"Dad" for something else and seeing how the capitalisation works there.

If you can swap it for something like "friend", they should be lower case, like "friend" is:

"After school, my friend took me to my piano lesson"

If you can't swap for "friend", but you can swap for a name, they should be capitalised like names are:

"After school, Alice took me to my piano lesson"

 

[KeithD]

This is subject to rule. This isn't a "writer's choice" issue.

"Mom" in direct address or substitution:

"Listen to me, Mom."

The one I always listen to is Mom.

"mom" in indirect use:

I told my mom to listen to me.

The one I always listen to is my mom.

 

[PapaRomantic]

Thanks for all your advice - this is exactly what I was looking for. Now I have some serious editing to do...

 

[Trionyx]

In a similar vein, terms of endearment are often capitalized but from what I understand, they need not be. I try to make my life easier by always capitalizing a noun if it is used as a name.
Come here, Sweetheart.
It was a sweetheart of a deal.
I love you, Honey.
Bees make honey.
And as above: That is my mom.
Hi, Mom!

 

[ElectricBlue]

In a similar vein, terms of endearment are often capitalized but from what I understand, they need not be. I try to make my life easier by always capitalizing a noun if it is used as a name.
Come here, Sweetheart.
It was a sweetheart of a deal.
I love you, Honey.
Bees make honey.
And as above: That is my mom.
Hi, Mom!

Agree. It's the same principle - if the term of endearment gets used as a pet name, it's a name, hence the capital letter.

 

[KachinaDoll]

When mom, mum, dad, father, grandpa etc is used in place of a name it's capitalised.

eg.. After school, Mum took me to the dentist.

When it can't be used in place of a name it isn't capitalised.

eg.. After school, my mum took me to the dentist.

 

[Publius68]

My rule is to capitalize when substituting for a proper name, and lower case when as a general term.
"Hey, Mom! Can I go out and fuck my girlfriend this evening?"
I told my mom I was going to fuck my girlfriend this evening.
When I asked, Mom told me to remember protection.
My girlfriend's mom wouldn't give us permission unless I fucked her too.

 

[LonRivers]

When you are addressing them, you capitalize. If you are speaking about them as part of the story, it is your choice. In some circles it is a sign of respect to capitalize a person's name or title. If you are calling them Mom or Dad to address them as your child, you should capitalize. If you are referring to them such as 'my mother said.." or "mom says" you do not have to capitalize. If you are referring to someone by their given name, you should capitalize.

My issue is that when my characters refer to someone as "Baby" or "Sweetie" or some other pet name, I don't always capitalize. But I think in that case it could be optional.

 

[jehoram]

Also, when the noun is used as a title, even without a form of address, it can be capitalized. You may refer to the Pope as a "Holy Father" because "holy father" just looks weird.

 

[Pabiporffor]

Don't forget whether you use Mum, Mom, Mam, Ma' etc varies according to where your character lives and their background. People are more likely to pick up on that than capitalization.

 

[Trionyx]

If you are referring to them such as 'my mother said.." or "mom says" you do not have to capitalize.

I respectfully disagree. The second ‘mom’ should be capitalized as it is used as a name. “Blah blah blah Lisa says” and so one should say “blah blah blah Mom says”. As I said earlier, terms of endearment may or may not be capitalized but Mom and Dad, when used as names, should be.

 

[KeithD]

The second ‘mom’ should be capitalized as it is used as a name

Yep.

 

[Britva415]

What Joy of Cooking and AlohaDave said. Capitalize when it's a form of address, or when the term is used in place of a proper name.

Examples:

After lunch, my mother went to the store.

After lunch, Mom went to the store.

"What's the problem, Mom?"

Bob Wilson was my coach.

I asked Coach Wilson for batting tips.

Reference: Chicago Manual of Style, section 8.36 (17th ed.).

The problem with paraphrasing manuals of style is that the person you're addressing has to read the style manual to know whether the point being discussed is a matter of style or a matter of rules.

The style manuals don't all agree on certain things, because it's style, and there are other things they do all agree on, because they're rules.