Title and Description

[pink_silk_glove]

Whenever I peruse story lists it always amazes me at just how poor some of these are. Title and description are powerful tools to make your story stand out in a list, yet so many don't seize the opportunity. I get it. You finish writing and you just want to publish and often the title, and moreso the description are an afterthought. "Oh shit, I need a description!" You whip something up. For my first couple of stories, I was guilty of that myself. I've gotten much better at titles and descriptions, often coming up with descriptions early during the writing or halfway through as it takes shape and I have a strong idea of what the piece is about. Tags, I still need to work on, but those are for another thread.

There are things that you want to get across in your title and description. You want to have an appropriate title, either direct or metaphorically arty. It's good to have a title that gives an idea of what the story is about, but sometimes a wonderfully arty title remains obscure. That's okay. When that's the case you have a 60-character description to fill in the blanks.

~ ~ ~

an example:

Title: John and Mary
Description: John and Mary celebrate their anniversary.

This is a yawner. Why would I click this? Why not try ...

Title: John and Mary's Anniversary
Description: John and Mary renew their vows, with candles and handcuffs.

That one raises an eyebrow, even with a boring title.

example 2:

Title: Into the Woods
Description: Mike goes for a walk in the woods.

The title tells me nothing but a setting. That's fine but it's still boring. However where this really falls down hard is the description. It basically just repeats the title. Why should anyone click on this? Are trees a fetish? Try this ...

Title: Deep into the Woods
Description: Mike ventures into the woods and encounters a sexy nymph.

First, the word 'deep' added to the title adds nuance and subliminal innuendo. But the description now tells just what exciting thing Mike finds in the woods, letting the reader know what they might be in for without spoiling much. This is guaranteed to get way more clicks.

example 3:

Title: Mom and Son Seduction
Description: Mom seduces her son.

The title here actually works. It's not original nor arty at all but as mom/son is the biggest kink in lit, that title is going to get mega clicks and that's exactly what we want. But the description sucks! HARD! Just repeating the title is completely redundant. This is pointless. Try ...

Title: Mom and Son Seduction
Description: Mom rewards her son for fixing the car.

or ...

Title: Hot Tub Seduction
Description: Son looks sexy in his swim trunks. Mom shags him.

Move the mom/son element to the description and use a less generic title.

~ ~ ~

These examples are totally made up btw, but are inspired by hundreds of real ones, I'm not going to shame someone's work publicly here of course.

However, the real point of this thread is to let authors share their titles and descriptions here, ones that they have published or ones that they are contemplating using or are in the works. If you are willing, post your title an description here for critiquing by myself or anyone else. I will say that my critiques will be honest. If I think that it is poor I will say so and say why. If I like it I will say so and why. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings nor chuff anyone's egos. I just want to help everyone, including myself, improve on titles and descriptions so that we can all get more eyeballs.

 

[StillStunned]

For a while I thought that using a quote from the story would be a good way to pique interest. Sometimes it works:

Ben's Big Mistake: “Thank you, Professor!” she whispers. “I’ll do anything!"
By Voice and By Candle: "The unseen gaze was like hot breath between her legs."
and probably the most effective one:
Too Cold Not to Fuck: “It’s just a way for us both to get some sleep.”

But other times it just falls flat:
Too Early Not to Fuck: "My bedroom door opened and Sal’s head popped in. 'Awake?'"
Lily In the Stream: "I dreamed of a beautiful river nymph, and here you are!"
and so on.

Now I try to make the description more seductive. Unless I can think of a really good quote. But I doubt I'll ever top Too Cold Not to Fuck.

 

[THBGato]

Good thread! Food for thought indeed.

https://literotica.com/s/the-third-date-01-clueless-of-cotham
The title I'm most pleased with is "Clueless of Cotham" because...

1.it alliterates
2.there are some very literary references embedded in the story itself that link to the title (which might please nobody but myself, but hey)
3.It does perfectly describe the main character

I did a bit worse with the description because I did exactly what you describe above and feel into the new author trap of being too literal: "Priya loses a bet gets set up. Will third time be the charm?" I mean, it's not awful, but it's hardly titillating.

One that was accidentally good was a very recent one: "Eve & Lucy: the audition"
https://literotica.com/s/eve-and-lucy-ch-01-the-audition

There have been a couple of people moved to comment about how long it took them to work out who the titular characters were (and how much they appreciated the reveal); not really my intent, but cool to know. I though the description was better for this one too: "How far will Amanda go to land the part?"

I mean, you think you can guess, but actually it isn't what you think.

 

[SimonDoom]

I've been saying this for years, and I completely agree. I have been mindful of titles and descriptions since very early in my Literotica experience, and I can say with confidence that mindfully choosing the title and tagline (along with tags) is important.

I'll say this as a caveat: it depends a lot on the type of story you are writing. If you are writing what you consider a serious story, then you should choose a serious title.

About half of my stories are in the Incest/Taboo category, and most of those are mom-son stories. I most definitely do NOT consider these serious stories. They are sex fantasy romps. They are meant to be read with a naughty, wink-wink, tongue in cheek attitude. I hope to immerse the reader in just enough verisimilitude to get them across the finish line without so much disbelief I lose them. Sometimes I fail at that, but often, judging by the reception I've gotten, I succeed. These are stories that indulge readers' appetite to indulge a crazy kink for a fun time. They're not great art. They don't try to be.

So when I choose the title for a mom-son title, I strive to max out the titillation factor. They almost always include the word "mom" or some variation in them. That word is both descriptive and titillating, to the audience I'm trying to reach. I've used titles like "Late Night on the Loveseat with Mom" (over 1.8 million views so far and still getting over 800 per day 7 years later), "Mom, You're a Hucow," and "Drive In Date With Mom."

Do you find these titles cheesy? You're not wrong! But obviously, you are not the right audience for the story in the first place, so I don't care. The people who tend to like these kinds of stories are going to gravitate to these kinds of titles.

8Letters writes sister-brother stories, usually from the brother's point of view. He often uses "sister" in the title. He's achieved tremendous success with this strategy.

Lovecraft's recent story The Model Sister has over a half million views in one year. It basically tells you what the story is about, i.e., a sister who fills in as a model for her brother's photography subject, and it plays on the word "model," which has two meanings. It works.

Silkstockingslover often uses highly titillating titles for her stories.

For taglines, try also to be titillating but also complement your title. If the title is allusive, then make the tagline direct. If the title is direct, make the tagline playful. I sometimes create taglines that are questions or unfinished sentences with ellipses at the end, to make the reader want to read the story to finish the sentence.

The tone of your title and tagline should be adjusted to the tone of the story, but I strongly recommend incorporating some elements of description and titillation in the title/tagline combo to snare more readers.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

There is no question that the title and description can attract readers. I usually have the proposed title defined early in the development process and seldom deviate from the original idea for it.

On this site, many of mine are purposely vague, with descriptions that are often just as vague. I have no idea how many readers on Literotica never click on the stories due to the title and description, but it is not something that I lose sleep over.

In my mainstream publishing efforts, it's an entirely different approach, where a synopsis, summary, blurbs, and descriptions are typically created in parallel with the story as it is being written. Publishers often want the final say on the title but I have only had them change one of mine from the original idea that I submitted.

 

[StillStunned]

Another thing: it depends on the category. In SF/F, for instance, the readers are more interested in the story and setting than the sex, while in the sex-specific categories (I/T, E/V) the sex has to be front and centre.

So for example:
The Rivals Ch. 01: Dark Encounters: Two fortune hunters explore an ancient temple.
Fairytale of New York: A troll hunts for love on Christmas Eve.
The Dome 01: Out Into the Wasteland: In a post-apocalyptic world, a fugitive finds a friend.

As opposed to:
Flesh for Fantasy: I’ll always remember my first sight of Mel under the shower.
Lust Demon's Orgy: A Halloween party becomes an orgy when a demon is summoned.

 

[yowser]

No question that a snappy descriptive title is gold. And for many readers it's the first thing to create the urge 'now I got to read this!'

A good title should provoke interest, pose a question, crack the front door open just enough for a glimpse inside. It's an art form, and combined with the second jab of a good description, is the best advertising one can do (the ambiguous nature of tags has been discussed a bit, and for most readers, they aren't going to be the best lure.)

I am guilty of over-cute titles, but the ones that I think are the best are:

A Loss, A Gain - First cousins, Once clothes removed.

Bound to Know - Restraints & ravishments afflict a paleographer.

Cape Cod Capers - Two randy young bucks meet their match.

I agree with Mr. Stunned, category matters, and ideally your title should work hand in hand with that choice.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Ben's Big Mistake: “Thank you, Professor!” she whispers. “I’ll do anything!"

This title doesn't tell me much, other than there might be some tension in the plot, but otherwise it's quite bland. However, the description say a lot about our (presumably) female lead. She's fully prepared to do some slutty stuff. For me personally, another slutty unicorn will not make me click this, however I would guess that it's quite effective with the masses. So I would give this a thumbs-up. She may not be purely unicorn, but alluding to that possibility will get you clicks.

By Voice and By Candle: "The unseen gaze was like hot breath between her legs."

This one tells me that we are in for sensory elements. For me personally, it doesn't promise me any plot. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It feels like this is a specific story about sensory elements and so that audience will click this for sure, so in that sense I think it's very good.

Too Cold Not to Fuck: “It’s just a way for us both to get some sleep.”

Just being bluntly honest here, this one is your most boring. The title sounds like a very tired trope of two people thrown together and "oh well, might as well get it on." Works for the guy I guess. It may not be that, but that is what it is telling me. The description tells me nothing other than a weak attempt at humor maybe?

Too Early Not to Fuck: "My bedroom door opened and Sal’s head popped in. 'Awake?'"

This one the same as above.

Lily In the Stream: "I dreamed of a beautiful river nymph, and here you are!"

This one has the most imagery, and it's delicate feminine imagery which is not terribly common around here (especially from male writers) so I have to give you some props. Sounds like a fairly tale, which will draw in that crowd, even from the romance crowd who rarely stray from they romances. I understand that you are using quotes from the actual story because you said so, but readers perusing the lists will not know that. With that in mind, your description does sound like we're in for second person narration, which some find off-putting. I like this one, but not perfect. On the plus side, the readers know that they're in for a river nymph. That will draw in that crowd, so that's good.

 

[intim8]

I have some evidence for your point. My highest rated story is:

Aces Pt. 04 - Brian and Lisa
Brian enjoys the company of three sorority sisters.

Which is a pretty obviously compelling description, as opposed to more cerebral ones for other chapters. It also bucked the trend of declining views as a series goes on. with significantly more (7.5k vs 4.3K) views than:

Aces Pt. 03 - Brian and Sandra
Brian worries about his romantic life, his sex life goes on.

And that carried over to:

Aces Pt. 05 - Brian and Lisa Ch. 02
Some decisions are bad, some are worse.

Which has fewer views, but still more than part 3.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Mom Son Lap Halloween
Ryan's mom sat on his lap in the van and at the party.

My blatant attempt to attract views! Worked pretty well: 806k views since October 2021.

 

[KeithD]

I have to have at least a "close" working title for a story before starting to write it.

 

[StillStunned]

Just being bluntly honest here, this one is your most boring. The title sounds like a very tired trope of two people thrown together and "oh well, might as well get it on." Works for the guy I guess. It may not be that, but that is what it is telling me. The description tells me nothing other than a weak attempt at humor maybe?

This one has the most imagery, and it's delicate feminine imagery which is not terribly common around here (especially from male writers) so I have to give you some props. Sounds like a fairly tale, which will draw in that crowd, even from the romance crowd who rarely stray from they romances. I understand that you are using quotes from the actual story because you said so, but readers perusing the lists will not know that. With that in mind, your description does sound like we're in for second person narration, which some find off-putting. I like this one, but not perfect. On the plus side, the readers know that they're in for a river nymph. That will draw in that crowd, so that's good.

Too Cold Not to Fuck: 121k views, rated 4.54 from 2146 votes.
Lily In the Stream: 3k views, rated 4.42 from 26 votes.

Even allowing for the benefits of the I/T readership, there's one clear winner.

 

[Bazzle]

Part of the art of lit. Some win, I lose!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Clueless of Cotham
Priya loses a bet gets set up. Will third time be the charm?

The title does alliterate. We can't forget that 'stuff that just sounds cool' attracts. It's still vague. Vague title's aren't bad themselves, but you will probably want to pair them with more detailed descriptions. Which you do here. Personally, I'm not clicking lost bet trope, but many will, so this one is decent. I will add that you say that this title describes your main character well and there's nothing wrong with that, but no one knows your main character until they've a bit of her so that aspect won't necessarily gain you clicks in this case. Although something more obvious and overt might, like 'Bimbo of Cotham'. Not saying that you should change to that. 'Clueless' is fine so long as the description does enough heavy lifting.

Eve & Lucy: the audition
How far will Amanda go to land the part?

The title here is direct and tells us that we have almost certainly have a casting couch scene. This is good, despite it being unoriginal. Titles don't have to be original, they just have to do the job of grabbing attention. The description confirms a casting couch scenario, so it backs up the title and refines it. Nothing really special here but I must admit that it looks very effective in drawing it's intended audience. Which is what we want.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I don't have a clue, not ever, if titles or catchlines are good, but here are three of my personal favorites.

Baptism in Blood … An Erotic Horror Tale that’s good to the last drop.

She-Wolf 750-Word Story … She loves the flavor of fear.

Going Down in the Elevator … Can true love happen in an elevator? No, but fucking can!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Aces Pt. 04 - Brian and Lisa
Brian enjoys the company of three sorority sisters.

Aces Pt. 03 - Brian and Sandra
Brian worries about his romantic life, his sex life goes on

Aces Pt. 05 - Brian and Lisa Ch. 02
Some decisions are bad, some are worse.

I understand that these are chapters of the same saga, but these titles are boring. I mean even if the characters were names Constancio and Belinda I don't think that I'd care. That's okay if the descriptions pull their weight, but really these titles show a severe lack of imagination. Pt 4 works because the description delivers the promise. The other two ... meh. Just being honest.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Close but not quite as happy with,

Written in Blood … Her touch sent wicked-wild thoughts through me!

Forbidden Passions in a Dark Room … Beyond desire, beyond obsession, their love is everything.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

You finish writing and you just want to publish and often the title, and moreso the description are an afterthought. "Oh shit, I need a description!" You whip something up. For my first couple of stories, I was guilty of that myself. I've gotten much better at titles and descriptions, often coming up with descriptions early during the writing or halfway through as it takes shape and I have a strong idea of what the piece is about. Tags, I still need to work on, but those are for another thread.

There are things that you want to get across in your title and description. You want to have an appropriate title, either direct or metaphorically arty. It's good to have a title that gives an idea of what the story is about, but sometimes a wonderfully arty title remains obscure. That's okay. When that's the case you have a 60-character description to fill in the blanks.

Title: Into the Woods

I feel rather seen here - I've been guilty of writing descriptions that appeal to me, but I've improved; on the whole you can't be too obvious when making clear what the sex appeal of the story is.

One of my early stories is in fact titled 'Into the Woods'. I'm a Sondheim fan, the couple shag in the woods, ergo obvious title.

It's in Erotic Couplings and my tagline wasn't too bad:
They're both desperate for sex, but no privacy!

But alluding to the fact that she gets seen by a walker in the woods and is then worried about being found, would have been nice to squeeze in. Sometimes it's just not possible in 65 characters.

A couple times I've put a short blurb at the top of a story, which I thought would be more attractive/deter the haters more than the tagline. So 'Gas Station Guy' had the tagline 'Gay virgin mistakes her for a man' which I hoped would be reasonably intriguing, and then:

He's a gay virgin.

She's a failing lesbian or filthy bisexual, depending on who you ask.

It's late, and she's out of milk.

Given there's no penetrative sex in the story, I wanted readers to be curious about the people rather than acts.

If you are willing, post your title an description here for critiquing by myself or anyone else. I will say that my critiques will be honest. If I think that it is poor I will say so and say why. If I like it I will say so and why. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings nor chuff anyone's egos. I just want to help everyone, including myself, improve on titles and descriptions so that we can all get more eyeballs.

More eyeballs are great if they're eyeballs that convert to readers. If they're people who are going to nope out, I'd prefer they did that on page 1 or before than reaching to the end and conveying their disgust. But yeah, if in doubt, get them over the first hurdle and clicking on your story.

I do actually have a story I need a title for:

Our FMC has a male friend at college who is incredibly sweet and shy. He's slightly less so after a couple years. She's offered to relieve him of his virginity, but he wants to be in a relationship with someone. They agree that if he's still a virgin by 40, he'll take her up on her offer.

Over the years they're increasingly flirtatious, and (obviously) eventually do shag. Whether he was or wasn't a virgin by then is an open question. (So should it go in First Time or not?)

There's that movie, "The 40 Year Old Virgin" but I don't want to evoke that crudeness, as this story is a pretty tender and emotional thing about good friends.

Considering 'Deflowering [man's name]' and some mention of taking her up on a promise, but suggestions appreciated.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Mom Son Lap Halloween
Ryan's mom sat on his lap in the van and at the party.

Yep, don't need originality to draw them in. Just give 'em what they want and not only is mom/son the most common kink on lit, mom riding son's lap is the number one way to do so apparently. I'm not reading it but thousands will.

 

[intim8]

I have to have at least a "close" working title for a story before starting to write it.

For me, there will be a point where I know I've discovered the theme, and then the title and description come more or less naturally. It usually comes midway through, give or take. If I finish a story and it hasn't happened, I know the story probably isn't working.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Too Cold Not to Fuck: 121k views, rated 4.54 from 2146 votes.
Lily In the Stream: 3k views, rated 4.42 from 26 votes.

Even allowing for the benefits of the I/T readership, there's one clear winner.

Yea, I'm just not getting into comparing categories and numbers. I'm here to talk about the honest reactions to titles and descriptions.

 

[intim8]

but really these titles show a severe lack of imagination.

Can't argue with you there. I was more focused on figuring out how Lit would combine them into a series by title (this was just before the Series feature went out), and the first of this was only the second story I'd published, so I was young and naive . And I was thinking more in terms of people who had read the prior chapters and would get what the description alluded to, not people seeing it in isolation in the "new stories" list. Probably not the best approach.

 

[MillieDynamite]

The Waiting Game ... Exploring the blurred lines between friendship, love, and lust

I feel rather seen here - I've been guilty of writing descriptions that appeal to me, but I've improved; on the whole you can't be too obvious when making clear what the sex appeal of the story is.

One of my early stories is in fact titled 'Into the Woods'. I'm a Sondheim fan, the couple shag in the woods, ergo obvious title.

It's in Erotic Couplings and my tagline wasn't too bad:
They're both desperate for sex, but no privacy!

But alluding to the fact that she gets seen by a walker in the woods and is then worried about being found, would have been nice to squeeze in. Sometimes it's just not possible in 65 characters.

A couple times I've put a short blurb at the top of a story, which I thought would be more attractive/deter the haters more than the tagline. So 'Gas Station Guy' had the tagline 'Gay virgin mistakes her for a man' which I hoped would be reasonably intriguing, and then:

He's a gay virgin.

She's a failing lesbian or filthy bisexual, depending on who you ask.

It's late, and she's out of milk.

Given there's no penetrative sex in the story, I wanted readers to be curious about the people rather than acts.


More eyeballs are great if they're eyeballs that convert to readers. If they're people who are going to nope out, I'd prefer they did that on page 1 or before than reaching to the end and conveying their disgust. But yeah, if in doubt, get them over the first hurdle and clicking on your story.

I do actually have a story I need a title for:

Our FMC has a male friend at college who is incredibly sweet and shy. He's slightly less so after a couple years. She's offered to relieve him of his virginity, but he wants to be in a relationship with someone. They agree that if he's still a virgin by 40, he'll take her up on her offer.

Over the years they're increasingly flirtatious, and (obviously) eventually do shag. Whether he was or wasn't a virgin by then is an open question. (So should it go in First Time or not?)

There's that movie, "The 40 Year Old Virgin" but I don't want to evoke that crudeness, as this story is a pretty tender and emotional thing about good friends.

Considering 'Deflowering [man's name]' and some mention of taking her up on a promise, but suggestions appreciated.

 

[intim8]

Considering 'Deflowering [man's name]' and some mention of taking her up on a promise, but suggestions appreciated.

The Virginity Promise

It came with condtions, but can she know if they've been met?

 

[Pabiporffor]

Useful thread. I must confess I often find writing the title and description harder than the story especially since we've only got 60 characters to play with.