Dribble
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You know this answer. Being able to share your pain and make the choices you have, proves to me you know.
Trust issues
- Thread starter RubenesqueAphrodite
- Start date
You know this answer. Being able to share your pain and make the choices you have, proves to me you know.
Thank you for sharing. I was once told that a problem shared is a problem halved. I hope you feel a little lighter this day. And may you find that lost energy once again.
RubenesqueAphrodite
Pphhfthtt.....
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My husband was an abusive, alcoholic,
Prick.
I left and took the kids the day he tried to hit me because I knew, right then, I'd shoot him if he ever tried again.
I was almost sexually assaulted by a group of guys who were my "friends" when I was in high school.. And despite the fact that I'd played football with them for years, and had always just hung out with them, there were people in my town who said "Well, she *was* one of the only girls out there.. what did she expect?"
I tell you what I "expected"...I "expected" the guys I grew up with to accept "no" as an answer.
I "expected" my husband of nearly twenty years to man up and get some help instead of taking out his issues on me and the boys.
I expect to be respected on an erotic literature forum, regardless of what I might post, nude, clothed, or somewhere in between.
And I expect people to be honest, not play games, not pretend, or bullshit me.
And I want my father back.
And my grandfather.
And mother. And my Nana.
People who gave me the example of loving relationships that you just don't see anymore...
My issues go way back. I'm not even gonna try and lie. But the wounded animal is most dangerous. And I'm a bit skittish when it comes to men.
I'm finding that women can be tricky, too.
I need more therapy...lol
Sorry for the rant.
And I'm sorry for anything bad that's ever happened to anyone.
EY, what happened to you sucks. I'd have knocked out more than his teeth, and the bitch that he bedded?
Well, my bail might not have been made.
I'm with you on your daughter. I'm the same way with my boys. They are my life. I'm trying my best to be both mother and father to them. And most days, feel like I'm coming up short.
Prick.
I left and took the kids the day he tried to hit me because I knew, right then, I'd shoot him if he ever tried again.
I was almost sexually assaulted by a group of guys who were my "friends" when I was in high school.. And despite the fact that I'd played football with them for years, and had always just hung out with them, there were people in my town who said "Well, she *was* one of the only girls out there.. what did she expect?"
I tell you what I "expected"...I "expected" the guys I grew up with to accept "no" as an answer.
I "expected" my husband of nearly twenty years to man up and get some help instead of taking out his issues on me and the boys.
I expect to be respected on an erotic literature forum, regardless of what I might post, nude, clothed, or somewhere in between.
And I expect people to be honest, not play games, not pretend, or bullshit me.
And I want my father back.
And my grandfather.
And mother. And my Nana.
People who gave me the example of loving relationships that you just don't see anymore...
My issues go way back. I'm not even gonna try and lie. But the wounded animal is most dangerous. And I'm a bit skittish when it comes to men.
I'm finding that women can be tricky, too.
I need more therapy...lol
Sorry for the rant.
And I'm sorry for anything bad that's ever happened to anyone.
EY, what happened to you sucks. I'd have knocked out more than his teeth, and the bitch that he bedded?
Well, my bail might not have been made.
I'm with you on your daughter. I'm the same way with my boys. They are my life. I'm trying my best to be both mother and father to them. And most days, feel like I'm coming up short.
Jada59
Literotica Guru
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I generally trust people unless they give me a reason not to.
IRL, I married a man who was a serial liar. He somehow carefully crafted a relationship that took him away from me for goodly periods of time. Yes he was in the military and some of this was legit., but I suspect a lot of it was not. I think he also changed his work shifts around so that when we did live together, we were mostly not home at the same time.
He was able to maintain a pleasant persona only for short periods of time. I did not notice this so much in the beginning. Blinded by lust? Love? I don't know. We were together for 8 years before we married. But for some of those years, we lived in different states.
The Internet was new back then, and neither of us had it. No cell phones either. I wrote him letters that I later discovered were never opened. So our communication was sporadic phone calls with me doing most of the talking.
Fast forward to about one minute after the wedding ceremony and the lies became fast and furious. He was essentially gaslighting me and likely had been from the beginning. Only difference was that prior to getting married, he made some attempt or at least pretended to be nice to me. Took me out to various places, bought me lavish gifts. A real cat. Lavish things for the cat. The sorts of things one might do when dating.
When we were dating, I merely brushed off any odd things that happened as him having a different sense of humor than me or social awkwardness on his part. Nope. More likely mental illness.
When the lies became fast and furious after marriage, I did call him out on them. In some cases, there wasn't even a lie on his part. He would just disappear for days at a time. It was always none of my business. I wasn't supposed to try to find out where he was or if he was okay. And when I questioned clear cut things like panties or jewelry found in the house or a vehicle that were not mine, mystery credit card charges including those to hotels/motels and books of matches from the same places, it was always met with him throwing his head back, laughing like a hyena and calling me crazy.
I will skip over all the rest of the nasty details but after we divorced, the truth came out. He has admitted so many things to our daughter that she is now having a very hard time being able to feel any respect for him. Something is very wrong inside of him in that he somehow thinks he is justified as to the things he did and likely still does and pretty much treats anyone who doesn't agree with him much like he treated me.
The sad thing is that he is out there now attempting to screw over other women. But he's no longer good at his game and he's being caught out far sooner now because he just can't keep up the charade any more. Yesterday my daughter was pointing out the places where some of his "victims" lived. Yes, he took great delight in having her meet these women.
So now we have dual trust issues. The worst of which I think is for my daughter. And if anyone questions, she is over 18. But he lured her into living with him after our recent divorce. He filled her head so full of lies that she began to not trust me or various people in my life. She is now seeing the error of her ways and realizing that her dad is not only incapable of telling the truth, but takes great delight in hurting people. So now she is left with a hardened heart and has no desire whatever to have a boyfriend, ever. She also questions the motives of anyone new in her life and has become indifferent to any new people in my life. Poor thing. Yesterday she told me that she was allergic to a person in my life. She actually did like this person until her dad filled her head full of lies about him. So this is her way of dealing with it.
There is also a big difference between my daughter and me. I am very much a spiritual person. I meditate and I try to make myself a better person. I love people and I trust most people unless they have given me a reason not to.
Yes, my ex is not worthy of trust and he burned me very badly. That's him. That doesn't mean I would treat everyone else that I encounter as though they are him.
My daughter however, is not spiritual, does not know which way to turn and at this point, I think doesn't trust anyone fully except perhaps one of her male friends who is gay. I don't want to dwell too much on his story except to say that he could write a book about his past and the abusive things that happened to him. But he eventually managed to overcome this and is one of the most kind, loving and selfless people I've ever met. My daughter even told me as such yesterday. Something like... Isn't M. just the best person on the face of the earth? You see... She didn't even trust him for a time but now she does. So I am thankful for that.
I also know that some people do lie online. Why? Could be any number of reasons. Sometimes it matters to me and sometimes it does not. It depends on the situation. My friend was horrified some time back when I said I hadn't gotten much sleep because I'd been up all night talking to someone that I didn't even know. I can't remember now if that person was from Lit or not but that doesn't matter. Was an online person that was not feeling well and just needed someone to talk to. My friend said, "Well what if you were really talking to a woman?" I said, "Why would that matter?" It was late at night. Most people were probably sleeping. This wasn't a romance thing. It wasn't a sex thing. This person just needed a friend even if only for a few hours. In that instance, it did not matter to me who they were. It was a person in need. And I won't give any specifics as to our conversation because that's not a cool thing to do.
But... If you are trying to romance or get me to sext you or anything along those lines and you start out with a lie by telling me that you live somewhere that you do not... And this did happen here and you know who you are! Then that's going to be as far as it goes. I am not going to out this person, but many here know who he is. I will say there was zero interest on my part right from the start there. But he persisted and I heard too many warning bells and saw too much other weirdness. In this case my Spidey sense was spot on and this has been confirmed by some others here.
So where I'm kind of going with this last paragraph, is if you see a bunch of us ignoring someone or skipping over their posts, there's likely a reason for that. And now I will stop blathering and attend to some real life stuff!
IRL, I married a man who was a serial liar. He somehow carefully crafted a relationship that took him away from me for goodly periods of time. Yes he was in the military and some of this was legit., but I suspect a lot of it was not. I think he also changed his work shifts around so that when we did live together, we were mostly not home at the same time.
He was able to maintain a pleasant persona only for short periods of time. I did not notice this so much in the beginning. Blinded by lust? Love? I don't know. We were together for 8 years before we married. But for some of those years, we lived in different states.
The Internet was new back then, and neither of us had it. No cell phones either. I wrote him letters that I later discovered were never opened. So our communication was sporadic phone calls with me doing most of the talking.
Fast forward to about one minute after the wedding ceremony and the lies became fast and furious. He was essentially gaslighting me and likely had been from the beginning. Only difference was that prior to getting married, he made some attempt or at least pretended to be nice to me. Took me out to various places, bought me lavish gifts. A real cat. Lavish things for the cat. The sorts of things one might do when dating.
When we were dating, I merely brushed off any odd things that happened as him having a different sense of humor than me or social awkwardness on his part. Nope. More likely mental illness.
When the lies became fast and furious after marriage, I did call him out on them. In some cases, there wasn't even a lie on his part. He would just disappear for days at a time. It was always none of my business. I wasn't supposed to try to find out where he was or if he was okay. And when I questioned clear cut things like panties or jewelry found in the house or a vehicle that were not mine, mystery credit card charges including those to hotels/motels and books of matches from the same places, it was always met with him throwing his head back, laughing like a hyena and calling me crazy.
I will skip over all the rest of the nasty details but after we divorced, the truth came out. He has admitted so many things to our daughter that she is now having a very hard time being able to feel any respect for him. Something is very wrong inside of him in that he somehow thinks he is justified as to the things he did and likely still does and pretty much treats anyone who doesn't agree with him much like he treated me.
The sad thing is that he is out there now attempting to screw over other women. But he's no longer good at his game and he's being caught out far sooner now because he just can't keep up the charade any more. Yesterday my daughter was pointing out the places where some of his "victims" lived. Yes, he took great delight in having her meet these women.
So now we have dual trust issues. The worst of which I think is for my daughter. And if anyone questions, she is over 18. But he lured her into living with him after our recent divorce. He filled her head so full of lies that she began to not trust me or various people in my life. She is now seeing the error of her ways and realizing that her dad is not only incapable of telling the truth, but takes great delight in hurting people. So now she is left with a hardened heart and has no desire whatever to have a boyfriend, ever. She also questions the motives of anyone new in her life and has become indifferent to any new people in my life. Poor thing. Yesterday she told me that she was allergic to a person in my life. She actually did like this person until her dad filled her head full of lies about him. So this is her way of dealing with it.
There is also a big difference between my daughter and me. I am very much a spiritual person. I meditate and I try to make myself a better person. I love people and I trust most people unless they have given me a reason not to.
Yes, my ex is not worthy of trust and he burned me very badly. That's him. That doesn't mean I would treat everyone else that I encounter as though they are him.
My daughter however, is not spiritual, does not know which way to turn and at this point, I think doesn't trust anyone fully except perhaps one of her male friends who is gay. I don't want to dwell too much on his story except to say that he could write a book about his past and the abusive things that happened to him. But he eventually managed to overcome this and is one of the most kind, loving and selfless people I've ever met. My daughter even told me as such yesterday. Something like... Isn't M. just the best person on the face of the earth? You see... She didn't even trust him for a time but now she does. So I am thankful for that.
I also know that some people do lie online. Why? Could be any number of reasons. Sometimes it matters to me and sometimes it does not. It depends on the situation. My friend was horrified some time back when I said I hadn't gotten much sleep because I'd been up all night talking to someone that I didn't even know. I can't remember now if that person was from Lit or not but that doesn't matter. Was an online person that was not feeling well and just needed someone to talk to. My friend said, "Well what if you were really talking to a woman?" I said, "Why would that matter?" It was late at night. Most people were probably sleeping. This wasn't a romance thing. It wasn't a sex thing. This person just needed a friend even if only for a few hours. In that instance, it did not matter to me who they were. It was a person in need. And I won't give any specifics as to our conversation because that's not a cool thing to do.
But... If you are trying to romance or get me to sext you or anything along those lines and you start out with a lie by telling me that you live somewhere that you do not... And this did happen here and you know who you are! Then that's going to be as far as it goes. I am not going to out this person, but many here know who he is. I will say there was zero interest on my part right from the start there. But he persisted and I heard too many warning bells and saw too much other weirdness. In this case my Spidey sense was spot on and this has been confirmed by some others here.
So where I'm kind of going with this last paragraph, is if you see a bunch of us ignoring someone or skipping over their posts, there's likely a reason for that. And now I will stop blathering and attend to some real life stuff!
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RustyIron
Livin The Dream
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2013
- Posts
- 4,964
Fuck!
This makes me really sad reading these stories, I really feel for those that have suffered thru this all shit.
Excuse the french, but there are certainly some "fucking assholes" out there that deserve to be strung up and fucked with the rough end of a pineapple.
My daughter suffered thru an abusive relationship for seven years. The whole time I tried to tell her that this guy is off he has issues BIG issues. He divided our family and ruined what was a close family.
I called him out a few times and he didn't like it things got really ugly.
However this is a seven year story so I can't explain everything here, but it did end. Not exactly as I had hoped but it's over. If I never see him again it will be way too soon.
My daughter is now, one of the strongest people I know after suffering thru this. He threatened to kill her and the kids if she ever told anyone about what was going on, so for many years she suffered in silence not letting on. In the end the Police and family services could do nothing, the law and help was non existent
It was not not until it was way over that I found out the full extent of what had happened. This totally enraged me, and I wanted to tear him apart limb from limb.
It cut me up so bad that my little girl suffered thru this so badly on her own, protecting her kids from his bullshit abuse.
The impact on our family is a permanent scar. There is a lot more to the story but it's to complex to explain here, fuck you could not make this shit up if Hollywood's best writers were involved. So much so that a person contacted my daughter a few days ago, and is going to write a book about how stuffed up the system and people are, using her case as the example. Fuck even the lawyers and judges could not come to grips with the story and the way THEY were manipulated thru this bullshit. The things that went on are like a block buster movie. The final clincher was a guy from human services that had seen this behavior once before and would not be manipulated conned or corrupted. Out of all the people involved high paid highly respected Barristers lawyers, solicitors, it took one guy. I tips me hat to all the honest people out there that do the right thing no matter what. "Respect to them."
Not that it matters really, but during this time I was also told by SO that I was not longer wanted or required, which just added an explosion to my mental state. I was also left with scars that will never heal, and also left for a long time with out emotions of any kind, (I can't explain it so don't even ask, no love no hate nothing, almost zombie like) sort of like someone just cut your heart out stomped on it and and just threw it away.
The one person that has given me more help than she could possibly ever know, is Sassy.
Sassy is the only one knows a little of the story.
To sum it up I guess, it's ladies, men, kids, families that can get fucked up totally, by careless thought less pricks, keyboard warriors, and those with a no care factor, have some consideration for others, and their well being and emotional state. You think that you are anonymous on the internet, I have some really really bad news for you. No one is ever totally anonymous, you can be found out and it's not hard to do. Believe me I know.
I have rambled on long enough if you got to here, then thank you for taking the time to read this.
This makes me really sad reading these stories, I really feel for those that have suffered thru this all shit.
Excuse the french, but there are certainly some "fucking assholes" out there that deserve to be strung up and fucked with the rough end of a pineapple.
My daughter suffered thru an abusive relationship for seven years. The whole time I tried to tell her that this guy is off he has issues BIG issues. He divided our family and ruined what was a close family.
I called him out a few times and he didn't like it things got really ugly.
However this is a seven year story so I can't explain everything here, but it did end. Not exactly as I had hoped but it's over. If I never see him again it will be way too soon.
My daughter is now, one of the strongest people I know after suffering thru this. He threatened to kill her and the kids if she ever told anyone about what was going on, so for many years she suffered in silence not letting on. In the end the Police and family services could do nothing, the law and help was non existent
It was not not until it was way over that I found out the full extent of what had happened. This totally enraged me, and I wanted to tear him apart limb from limb.
It cut me up so bad that my little girl suffered thru this so badly on her own, protecting her kids from his bullshit abuse.
The impact on our family is a permanent scar. There is a lot more to the story but it's to complex to explain here, fuck you could not make this shit up if Hollywood's best writers were involved. So much so that a person contacted my daughter a few days ago, and is going to write a book about how stuffed up the system and people are, using her case as the example. Fuck even the lawyers and judges could not come to grips with the story and the way THEY were manipulated thru this bullshit. The things that went on are like a block buster movie. The final clincher was a guy from human services that had seen this behavior once before and would not be manipulated conned or corrupted. Out of all the people involved high paid highly respected Barristers lawyers, solicitors, it took one guy. I tips me hat to all the honest people out there that do the right thing no matter what. "Respect to them."
Not that it matters really, but during this time I was also told by SO that I was not longer wanted or required, which just added an explosion to my mental state. I was also left with scars that will never heal, and also left for a long time with out emotions of any kind, (I can't explain it so don't even ask, no love no hate nothing, almost zombie like) sort of like someone just cut your heart out stomped on it and and just threw it away.
The one person that has given me more help than she could possibly ever know, is Sassy.
Sassy is the only one knows a little of the story.
To sum it up I guess, it's ladies, men, kids, families that can get fucked up totally, by careless thought less pricks, keyboard warriors, and those with a no care factor, have some consideration for others, and their well being and emotional state. You think that you are anonymous on the internet, I have some really really bad news for you. No one is ever totally anonymous, you can be found out and it's not hard to do. Believe me I know.
I have rambled on long enough if you got to here, then thank you for taking the time to read this.
RubenesqueAphrodite
Pphhfthtt.....
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JadaRustyIron
rubydlite
*poof*...mostly
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Oh...this thread 
Hugs to everyone who needs them...Wine for those who don't want to be touched..bail money for the rest.
Xoxoxox
The thing that resonates the most....closure or saying what's on your mind. Just tell me...I'd be fine with it. That's what's eroded my trust over time, (Assholes aside who just act like giant ones), people who won't say it like it is.
I'll cry and mope but at least I'll know.
Don't love me anymore..fine. ..say it
Want someone else...fine say it
Not attracted to me any more...fine say it.
Don't be a pussy people....just say it.
Hugs to everyone who needs them...Wine for those who don't want to be touched..bail money for the rest.
Xoxoxox
The thing that resonates the most....closure or saying what's on your mind. Just tell me...I'd be fine with it. That's what's eroded my trust over time, (Assholes aside who just act like giant ones), people who won't say it like it is.
I'll cry and mope but at least I'll know.
Don't love me anymore..fine. ..say it
Want someone else...fine say it
Not attracted to me any more...fine say it.
Don't be a pussy people....just say it.
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Jada59
Literotica Guru
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Thanks!
RustyIron
Livin The Dream
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Thank you, and I hope you feel better your story was well written too.
Oh...this thread
Hugs to everyone who needs them...Wine for those who don't want to be touched..bail money for the rest.
Xoxoxox
The thing that resonates the most....closure or saying what's on your mind. Just tell me...I'd be fine with it. That's what's eroded my trust over time, (Assholes aside who just act like giant ones), people who won't say it like it is.
I'll cry and mope but at least I'll know.
Don't love me anymore..fine. ..say it
Want someone else...fine say it
Not attracted to me any more...fine say it.
Don't be a pussy people....just say it.
Ruby that's it in a nutshell, just be straight up about everything.
No need to lie about shit, just be honest and straight down the line.
The end result might not be what one wants to hear, but honesty get's respect even when it isn't what you want to hear.
well said Ruby.
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F
Farawyn
Guest
Oh...this thread
Hugs to everyone who needs them...Wine for those who don't want to be touched..bail money for the rest.
Xoxoxox
The thing that resonates the most....closure or saying what's on your mind. Just tell me...I'd be fine with it. That's what's eroded my trust over time, (Assholes aside who just act like giant ones), people who won't say it like it is.
I'll cry and mope but at least I'll know.
Don't love me anymore..fine. ..say it
Want someone else...fine say it
Not attracted to me any more...fine say it.
Don't be a pussy people....just say it.
I was thinking that this thread is the yin to your love thread’s yang. Both are how we all tick, what we all want.
I don’t trust love the way I should. I’m trying. It takes time, and devotion on his part. I have both.
TongueLust
Bruja-Hija De Yemaya
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2012
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- 114,706
Oh...this thread
Hugs to everyone who needs them...Wine for those who don't want to be touched..bail money for the rest.
Xoxoxox
The thing that resonates the most....closure or saying what's on your mind. Just tell me...I'd be fine with it. That's what's eroded my trust over time, (Assholes aside who just act like giant ones), people who won't say it like it is.
I'll cry and mope but at least I'll know.
Don't love me anymore..fine. ..say it
Want someone else...fine say it
Not attracted to me any more...fine say it.
Don't be a pussy people....just say it.
THIS! Don't be a fuckboy.
TongueLust
Bruja-Hija De Yemaya
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LostGirlTink
Adorkable weirdo
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My trust issues show up when I least expect them.
F
Farawyn
Guest
F
formertroll
Guest
These two comments resonate with me. Thank you both for making me feel not so alone in those thoughts.
RubenesqueAphrodite
Pphhfthtt.....
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I'm just gonna continue being a hardass..
My Personal Anthem
My Personal Anthem
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F
formertroll
Guest
F
Farawyn
Guest
RubenesqueAphrodite
Pphhfthtt.....
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.I fixed my linky link , btw... and Bonus: Brantley Gilbert*does* it for me...lolol
RubenesqueAphrodite
Pphhfthtt.....
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F
Farawyn
Guest
LostGirlTink
Adorkable weirdo
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I am too but I start to get “flight risky” when panicked
Nope. Lots of this around I think.
I’m not sure mine can.
*hugs*Mine can't..
Erotically_Yours
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He was warned. Multiple times. He knew the consequences, and I was simply following through on my word. Knocking out two of his teeth was only the permanent damage, other than maybe his pride.
As for her, she got one warning. "Leave, or I'm going to fuck you up." My quarrel wasn't with someone who, for all I know, had been lied to. She ran. They aren't still together, so I think I made the right call.
Same here. In hindsight, I think I may have let a few good people go out of paranoia. In my defense, I don't think I was mentally ready yet. Maybe I'm still not?
F
formertroll
Guest
This i can relate to also, but I'd rather trust my gut and run than end up broken saying to my inner voice "i told you this would happen "
TongueLust
Bruja-Hija De Yemaya
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