The overuse of the pronoun "I"... is it just me?

[32aa]

Is it just me? I get tired of reading stories where every, or every other sentence begins with “I” did such and such. Or “She” did such and such.

You know.

I led my girlfriend over to her bed and kissed her warm lips. I started to unbutton the loose blouse that slowly opened to reveal the smooth gentle swells of her breasts. I found myself sliding the blouse off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. I couldn’t help myself, I had to look.

Instead.

Leading my girlfriend over to her bed and then kissing her warm lips was just a warmup. My fingers nervously fumbled with each button as the smooth gentle swells of her breasts were exposed to my young eyes for the first time. Shamelessly, my eyes drank in the masterpiece that stood before me.

Rereading my first few stories from almost 4 years ago, I plead. “Guilty as Charged”. It’s only in the last year, or that I’ve changed my style to more of the second.

I think that it takes more thought and creativity to go the second route.

Anyway, back to my original question… Is it just me being anal?

 

[Devinter]

Anyway, back to my original question… Is it just me being anal?

First of, I agree with you completely - though I still struggle with this at times in my own writing. Actively working on it though!

Secondly, nothing wrong with anal.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, I is the drawback of first person. She, he, her, his, them, they in writing, along with the names they take the place of, are often the drawback in third person.

 

[Bramblethorn]

No, not just you. I've done it deliberately for effect in one scene, but generally I much prefer to mix up sentence structures a bit.

It's not just an issue when it's "I did X. I did Y. I did Z." It can become a problem with any sentence structure that gets overused in a scene.

 

[SouthernCrossfire]

I’m guilty of this at times.

Oops!

 

[Euphony]

Is it just me being anal?

... but I see the merit of your case.

(I am not a lawyer)

 

[AlinaX]

Ah, the problem of I bombs...

 

[Euphony]

Ah, the problem of I bombs..

Feels like there's another name for this phenomenon but I can't for the life of me remember it.

I appreciate the point he was making but very old school of teaching English vibes. Like to read a more modern take with a ton of examples so I might stumble into more esoteric ones, but i-bomb is both non-standard (seeming) and a terrible thing to spend a long time digging deep through google results.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Just write about what you saw without using something like, I saw her move to the... LOL

 

[EmilyMiller]

Any writing where each sentence is essentially the same as the others will be boring and flat. Avoiding “I” all the time, would end up being equally jarring.

Em

 

[alohadave]

Ah, the problem of I bombs...

It seems that the problem is not with first person, it's with bad writers.

 

[nice90sguy]

A challenge I sometimes set people -- try to carry on a conversation without once using the word "I".
It really works to make people better listeners,

 

[32aa]

Ah, the problem of I bombs...

"I bombs" I like that.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I like it better than one-bombs.

"I bombs" I like that.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Is it just me? I get tired of reading stories where every, or every other sentence begins with “I” did such and such. Or “She” did such and such.

You know.

I led my girlfriend over to her bed and kissed her warm lips. I started to unbutton the loose blouse that slowly opened to reveal the smooth gentle swells of her breasts. I found myself sliding the blouse off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. I couldn’t help myself, I had to look.

Instead.

Leading my girlfriend over to her bed and then kissing her warm lips was just a warmup. My fingers nervously fumbled with each button as the smooth gentle swells of her breasts were exposed to my young eyes for the first time. Shamelessly, my eyes drank in the masterpiece that stood before me.

Rereading my first few stories from almost 4 years ago, I plead. “Guilty as Charged”. It’s only in the last year, or that I’ve changed my style to more of the second.

I think that it takes more thought and creativity to go the second route.

Anyway, back to my original question… Is it just me being anal?

The nemesis of first person story telling. A good edit assistant tool will help with that. From what I've gathered, starting three sentences in a row with teh same word is a bad idea.

My personal lest favorite is anything second person. just grates me the wrong way.

 

[StillStunned]

The nemesis of first person story telling. A good edit assistant tool will help with that. From what I've gathered, starting three sentences in a row with teh same word is a bad idea.

Don't people read their own writings anymore? I've repeatedly advocated the use of Read Aloud (or any text-to-speech tool) to catch typos and grammatical mistakes. But it will also highlight where your text is clumsy, and any repetitive structures or word usage. It makes you think about the clumsy sentences and paragraphs, and you rewrite them according to your own strengths and preferences.

 

[samhasstories]

It's for sure weak writing, or perhaps more accurately weak revising. It's not something I worry about when I write, but I do keep an eye out for it on revision. I'm sure I'm guilty of plenty of violations, as I'm also guilty of not revising enough.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Don't people read their own writings anymore? I've repeatedly advocated the use of Read Aloud (or any text-to-speech tool) to catch typos and grammatical mistakes. But it will also highlight where your text is clumsy, and any repetitive structures or word usage. It makes you think about the clumsy sentences and paragraphs, and you rewrite them according to your own strengths and preferences.

I'm guessing a lot of what we're seeing are me five years ago when I first started writing. God, I was terrible at grammar. I finally found this thing called ProWritingAid and it helps me with all my foibles so I sound like I'm all learned up and such.

 

[MillieDynamite]

It's for sure weak writing, or perhaps more accurately weak revising. It's not something I worry about when I write, but I do keep an eye out for it on revision. I'm sure I'm guilty of plenty of violations, as I'm also guilty of not revising enough.

 

[MrPixel]

Whenever I have an 'I' problem, I go for the Visine. I do.

I am (there it is again!) sensitive to this in my (a standard variant) own writing. I (shit!) try to avoid more than one in a paragraph, and am attentive to avoiding it starting adjacent paragraphs.

 

[Nudeblackgirl]

If you're writing first person, you're kind of stuck with it. Unless you're doing that cheesy fake 2nd person thing...like I'm doing

 

[Nudeblackgirl]

I, I, I I...I am the Frito Bandito...

 

[MillieDynamite]

You move to the typewriter, flex your fingers, putting your fingers to the keys, and you type, "2nd person sucks big donkey dicks."

If you're writing first person, you're kind of stuck with it. Unless you're doing that cheesy fake 2nd person thing...like I'm doing

 

[Nudeblackgirl]

You move to the typewriter, flex your fingers, putting your fingers to the keys, and you type, "2nd person sucks big donkey dicks."

I wish this was the thread, "Are you crushing on the Lister above you"

 

[EmilyMiller]

Don't people read their own writings anymore? I've repeatedly advocated the use of Read Aloud (or any text-to-speech tool) to catch typos and grammatical mistakes. But it will also highlight where your text is clumsy, and any repetitive structures or word usage. It makes you think about the clumsy sentences and paragraphs, and you rewrite them according to your own strengths and preferences.

I’ve said before. The single thing that contributed to eliminating most errors and bad style from my work was this. Highly recommended.

Em