Sub Drop?

[the captians wench]

another bump...I have my reasons.

 

[SephStarr]

Bumping this as I didn't know about sub drop, and I was ever so glad to find this thread as it explained to me why I felt as I did the other day, after my most headspacey scene yet. If it had happened while I was still with her it would have been fine, but it didn't hit till I got home. Which was annoying. [sigh]

Anyway, yes. This is a good thread, and I think it's helpful for people to know what's going on-as it confused the hell out of me, I'd been expecting to be on a high for days, as I am usually after playing.

 

[wenchhh]

wow, thanks for taking the time to mention this, and thanks for finding the thread from long ago. I too am not a needy person. Not usually. I was telling Sir that I felt like I was "jonesing"... and luckily he knew the term. I like it a little better than "subdrop", but think it means the same. This kinda lost, WTF kinda feeling I have now that he's gone and my life is back to semi-normal, wicked vanilla for a few more weeks. In drawing a parallell between this new relationship with Sir, and Drugs... Good thing I never tried crack, or heroin, cause I'd surely be addicted.
Thanks again for the info.

 

[SephStarr]

I know what you mean about the parallel between BDSM and drugs-I've been thinking along similar lines lately, in fact. Since getting into this For Real (as opposed to just in fantasy and online) about a month ago, I've been thinking about sex more than I ever did before! [grin]

 

[Trajal]

Sub drop isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can sometimes simply be the natural end of the cycle of whatever you were both doing as a couple.

As a result of that it should be treated as a couple activity as well. A dominant should never simply expect their submissive to "get over it". Comfort, love, affection, strokes and soothing words all go a long way in this area. It's the perfect time for some bonding of another nature, not just sexual but emotional bonding and quiet time together just holding each other. The submissive can feel very much held and protected and the dominant can truly love the feeling of being so far in control of the sub and having the sub so dependant upon them.

Saying that, a cup of tea and a blanket can be good as well. Whenever my little darling has experienced sub drop we normally just hold each other for about an hour while she tries to snooze against my shoulder and if we haven't fallen asleep by then I'll make her a warm drink. By the time she's finished the drink she's pretty much finished with the main part of the drop.

The fact of caring for the sub during this time really bonds you closer as a couple, so I don't generally claim for it to be as bad as people say. It's a difficult experience for the sub but a lot of good can come from it, so I believe it shouldn't be painted as being the BOGEYMAN of a D/s relationship (which a lot of people seem to do for some reason).

 

[kayte]

Sub drop isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can sometimes simply be the natural end of the cycle of whatever you were both doing as a couple.

As a result of that it should be treated as a couple activity as well. A dominant should never simply expect their submissive to "get over it". Comfort, love, affection, strokes and soothing words all go a long way in this area. It's the perfect time for some bonding of another nature, not just sexual but emotional bonding and quiet time together just holding each other. The submissive can feel very much held and protected and the dominant can truly love the feeling of being so far in control of the sub and having the sub so dependant upon them.

Saying that, a cup of tea and a blanket can be good as well. Whenever my little darling has experienced sub drop we normally just hold each other for about an hour while she tries to snooze against my shoulder and if we haven't fallen asleep by then I'll make her a warm drink. By the time she's finished the drink she's pretty much finished with the main part of the drop.

The fact of caring for the sub during this time really bonds you closer as a couple, so I don't generally claim for it to be as bad as people say. It's a difficult experience for the sub but a lot of good can come from it, so I believe it shouldn't be painted as being the BOGEYMAN of a D/s relationship (which a lot of people seem to do for some reason).

Good afternoon Trajal ~ I agree dropping isn't in and of itself a bad thing. What makes it difficult is when people don't know what is happening and they think there is something wrong with them. Now that is the bad thing.

Dropping is what happens as the body adapts to the loss of the adrenalin
that was generated. Once you come down those levels drop and one can start to feel "bad." It is not understanding the normal physiology of the events that can cause people to paint it as a Bogeyman. Once that is understood, then as you have described, a bit of aftercare helps. And as you said allows bonding of a different type.

 

[SilkVelvet]

I'm wondering whether it's not just loss of endorphin high and adrenalin which causes sub drop but also a drop in blood glucose levels ?? These can rise and drop really dramatically.

For anyone in UK who gets panic attacks, suggest you Google No Panic, the charity.

 

[kayte]

I'm wondering whether it's not just loss of endorphin high and adrenalin which causes sub drop but also a drop in blood glucose levels ?? These can rise and drop really dramatically.

For anyone in UK who gets panic attacks, suggest you Google No Panic, the charity.

I am sure the glucose levels can have quite an impact. There is a lot of energy used during intense activities.

 

[SephStarr]

With me it seems to hit as soon as I'm alone after a scene-which is annoying, as it means that no amount of aftercare will negate it! I'll have a wonderful night, chatter and hang around for a while in the morning, then get home and suddenly...wham.

But then, I've got a past history of depression, which I suspect makes me more susceptible to things like this. And it's certainly nowhere near bad enough to make me not want to play-heaven forfend! [grin]

 

[kayte]

With me it seems to hit as soon as I'm alone after a scene-which is annoying, as it means that no amount of aftercare will negate it! I'll have a wonderful night, chatter and hang around for a while in the morning, then get home and suddenly...wham.

But then, I've got a past history of depression, which I suspect makes me more susceptible to things like this. And it's certainly nowhere near bad enough to make me not want to play-heaven forfend! [grin]

Hi SephStarr ~ That wham when alone is tough. But since you know what it is, even if you may be more prone to it, since you know and since you do enjoy all that got you there, I'm happy you will continue. Good luck with everything.

 

[kayte]

Bumping to the top.

 

[CollaredTigressK8]

Thank you!!!!!

The last time my Master and i were together, we had a really intense session in which i really opened myself up to Him; did exactly as He said, when He said it, not even giving myself time to think (it was only our second time together and our first time "scening.") He held me afterwards for about an hour, just praising and kissing me, and i felt really great. That night, W/we had a couple glasses of wine, and i was lying on the couch holding His hand when i just started to cry. At the time, i thought it was the wine coupled with my chronic depression, but now i know it was a bad case of sub-drop. i had to come home the next day, and i'm always terrified of leaving Him. i don't know if, subconsciously, i think i can keep Him from further sickness and death, but i'm really ill for about a week after i come home. Nausea, sleeplessness, general malaise... *sigh*

i'm just glad i'm not the only person going through this.

thanks for all the help,
kate

 

[kayte]

The last time my Master and i were together, we had a really intense session in which i really opened myself up to Him; did exactly as He said, when He said it, not even giving myself time to think (it was only our second time together and our first time "scening.") He held me afterwards for about an hour, just praising and kissing me, and i felt really great. That night, W/we had a couple glasses of wine, and i was lying on the couch holding His hand when i just started to cry. At the time, i thought it was the wine coupled with my chronic depression, but now i know it was a bad case of sub-drop. i had to come home the next day, and i'm always terrified of leaving Him. i don't know if, subconsciously, i think i can keep Him from further sickness and death, but i'm really ill for about a week after i come home. Nausea, sleeplessness, general malaise... *sigh*

i'm just glad i'm not the only person going through this.

thanks for all the help,
kate

Hi CT ~ Glad to see you and hope you are finding all kinds of help on the threads here.

Sorry to hear you experience such an intense long term drop. Maybe now that you are aware of what is happening that will make it easier for you.

 

[kayte]

A gentle bump.

 

[kayte]

Bumping to the top.

 

[kayte]

A Hump Day Bump!

 

[snake307]

Curiously enough

I had just read an article on this from Wikipedia. Seems to be essentially what has been written here already, but it's something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sub_drop

 

[kayte]

I had just read an article on this from Wikipedia. Seems to be essentially what has been written here already, but it's something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sub_drop

Hi snake ~ Thank you for sharing the link with us.

The more people learn it is purely a physiological reaction to the cessation of those chemicals and that there is nothing wrong with them it can help immensely.

It isn't just BDSM or D/S activities that can cause dropping. Any intense extreme play can do that.

 

[crazy_grrluk]

I can remember my very 1st sub-drop.

Master had used his belt to tie my wrists during play. he removed it after a cpl of hrs and the feeling of detachment was unreal... I felt like I had been released. I just curled up into a ball and sunk into my own self. I thought that was bad.... untill the day I took him back to the airport for his flight back home to Oz.
I hated every moment of that good bye..I didnt want him to go I wanted him to stay...and I refused to cry...till i got back in the car at Heathrow. I felt lost, I didnt know what to do, I just wanted him to stay. wasnt until the attendants ushered me to move that realization hit home and i spent the rest of the journey back sobbing my lil heart out. I got into work and burst into tears again.
I felt lost and alone and didnt know which direction to take.
it took a few days to come out of it.

cg

 

[El_Cazador999]

Thanks to all of you for this thread and your frankness. It is very helpful in learning about subdrop. Since I love the aftercare part of the dom/sub, I hope I can keep my kitten from experiencing the drop, but at least I'll know what it is if it happens and what I need to do. Of course, it'll be difficult if I'm on an airplane going home, but sometimes, preparation is the first step to safety.

 

[kayte]

I can remember my very 1st sub-drop.

Master had used his belt to tie my wrists during play. he removed it after a cpl of hrs and the feeling of detachment was unreal... I felt like I had been released. I just curled up into a ball and sunk into my own self. I thought that was bad.... untill the day I took him back to the airport for his flight back home to Oz.
I hated every moment of that good bye..I didnt want him to go I wanted him to stay...and I refused to cry...till i got back in the car at Heathrow. I felt lost, I didnt know what to do, I just wanted him to stay. wasnt until the attendants ushered me to move that realization hit home and i spent the rest of the journey back sobbing my lil heart out. I got into work and burst into tears again.
I felt lost and alone and didnt know which direction to take.
it took a few days to come out of it.

cg

Good afternoon cg ~ Thank you sharing with us. It can be so different for each of us and each time we play. Hope you are doing well and ge a chance to see you Master again soon.

 

[kayte]

Thanks to all of you for this thread and your frankness. It is very helpful in learning about subdrop. Since I love the aftercare part of the dom/sub, I hope I can keep my kitten from experiencing the drop, but at least I'll know what it is if it happens and what I need to do. Of course, it'll be difficult if I'm on an airplane going home, but sometimes, preparation is the first step to safety.

Good afternoon El Cazador ~ You are right. Preparation and knowledge can solve many of the difficulties. And yes it can be a challenge when the relationship is a long distance one.

 

[kayte]

A friendly bump.

 

[Ann0714]

Finally I Understand

In one of my posts, I mentioned the reconnection with an Ex from years ago.

We don't have an emotional relationship, it's purely physical.

He is a Dom in the rough, yet he knows that I will allow him to talk trash to me, toss me around during a sexual session and I end up wiped out from multiple orgasms.

Then he leaves . . . no phone calls, no email, nada . . . for many days.

when this sexual relationship began, I noticed AT FIRST, that a few hours after my SUPER HIGH slowly ebbed away, I became frantic, reliving what had occurred with him.

As the weeks went by, of course his visits per week increased due to his interest in my skills and ability to handle his trash talk and the rough n tumble acts, I noticed that my drop would happen maybe a day or two later.

I had NO idea why this was happening except that I felt humiliated and vulnerable. I didn't realize it was the endorphine drop within my brain.

I am so relieved that I found this post which now explains what I have been experiencing during the last 6 months.

With his philandering ways, (he basically has no feelings for the female gender except for what we can do for him) I now see that he is not the Dom I would require to help me come back to reality and maintain my sanity.

But dang, he knows how to push my buttons, and THAT will be a hard one to follow.

 

[kayte]

In one of my posts, I mentioned the reconnection with an Ex from years ago.

We don't have an emotional relationship, it's purely physical.

He is a Dom in the rough, yet he knows that I will allow him to talk trash to me, toss me around during a sexual session and I end up wiped out from multiple orgasms.

Then he leaves . . . no phone calls, no email, nada . . . for many days.

when this sexual relationship began, I noticed AT FIRST, that a few hours after my SUPER HIGH slowly ebbed away, I became frantic, reliving what had occurred with him.

As the weeks went by, of course his visits per week increased due to his interest in my skills and ability to handle his trash talk and the rough n tumble acts, I noticed that my drop would happen maybe a day or two later.

I had NO idea why this was happening except that I felt humiliated and vulnerable. I didn't realize it was the endorphine drop within my brain.

I am so relieved that I found this post which now explains what I have been experiencing during the last 6 months.

With his philandering ways, (he basically has no feelings for the female gender except for what we can do for him) I now see that he is not the Dom I would require to help me come back to reality and maintain my sanity.

But dang, he knows how to push my buttons, and THAT will be a hard one to follow.

Good evening Ann ~ I am so happy to hear you did find out what was happening. That does do so much to deal with it. Hope everything works out for you.