Should I just ignore her completely now?

[carnal47]

Well this girl at the gym tried a bit too hard to hit on me by doing a lot of stretches in front of me (for at least 5 -10 mins) and then making it look like an accident when she came in my way at the exact time i got off my bench to adjust it, and we exchanged a smile when i said sorry and all she did was show how happy she got by just smiling at me and not saying anything. i didn't talk to her was not sure if she was really interested and then her friend told me later that she was into me and trying to hit on me. Then few days after she was doing a workout a little distance from me but seemed to have a stressed out, annoyed/angry impression on her face. So I thought she didn't want to talk to anyone and that's why I just avoided looking at her to give her space. But then she took that personally (as her friend told me) and started avoiding me (looking away whenever we made eye contact). She's been doing this ever since. Freaks out whenever we make eye contact and hurriedly turns her head away. So then I came across her Facebook profile as this friend of hers is a mutual friend in addition to another and she came up as a friends suggestion too. So I added her. But then she not only declined also blocked me from further requests (I had already requested her before that like more than a year ago). I don't want to make her uncomfortable or upset anymore now. So when I run into her in the gym should I just ignore her completely?

 

[NightL]

you still have not got this communication thing worked out

"Hello, how are you today?"
or
"Hi, I'm concerned I have caused discomfort. Sorry, I struggle with communication sometimes"
or
just simply open your mouth and politely talk

by the sound of how you open your (yet another) post here it seems you were not really interested in this person anyway.

You displayed disinterest, made no effort to engage in conversation - eventually you make a half-arsed FB friend request with zero effort to engage in actual conversation - you get blocked - yup, that was a message back at you.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Go with Night’s suggestion ^^^

IF you are actually interested in her, talking in person and apologizing about miscommunications would be a good start, maybe even a self-deprecating joke. If you aren’t actually interested in her, which I can’t tell from your post, just leave her alone.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Also, I’m not sure how stretching in front of you and then “accidentally” bumping into you is trying too hard. That’s a pretty judgmental statement. I think she was making a good amount of effort to flirt and you blew her off (which she noticed) and judged her for it (which you’ve expressed here, but she probably doesn’t realize).

 

[carnal47]

Also, I’m not sure how stretching in front of you and then “accidentally” bumping into you is trying too hard. That’s a pretty judgmental statement. I think she was making a good amount of effort to flirt and you blew her off (which she noticed) and judged her for it (which you’ve expressed here, but she probably doesn’t realize).

she rejected my Fb request like last Tuesday. Is it okay to approach her personally now and talk as you guys said or should I wait longer?

 

[PapaDan]

she rejected my Fb request like last Tuesday. Is it okay to approach her personally now and talk as you guys said or should I wait longer?

Have you considered that you may have misread her intentions, and she wants nothing to do with you. Not every woman goes to the gym looking for guys.

 

[carnal47]

Have you considered that you may have misread her intentions, and she wants nothing to do with you. Not every woman goes to the gym looking for guys.

then why is it that whenever she sees me she gets nervous and freaks out like a school girl seeing her crush??

 

[naughtymind]

You sound like the one who is "freaking out" like an inexperienced schoolgirl with her first crush. If the situation is as you describe it- she has tried to flirt with you, had her friend tell you that she likes you, got ignored by you, then after she changed her behavior around you due to feeling rejected you tried to contact her via FB- then I'd say you should either leave her alone, or be ready and able for some pretty mature and sophisticated communication to explain your interests. A good start would be to offer an apology for sending mixed messages to her, but I would also be ready to accept that her interest in you may not still be there. Most people don't really like putting themselves out there and then having those advances rejected or ignored ... which it sounds like you did.

 

[BadAmy]

then why is it that whenever she sees me she gets nervous and freaks out like a school girl seeing her crush??

Hmmm.I think you might be assuming her intentions. The only way to know, is to kindly, gently approach her if you are interested, and just start with a "Hi!"
Two things will happen, she will be receptive and reply, then you can share the shy moment of starting a conversation and you can laugh about any misunderstanding or....
She will indicate clearly she is not interested.
Either way, you will only know if you step forward.
What's the worst that could happen? She declines.
The right thing to do in either of these scenarios at that point is respect them.

Just my 2cents.

 

[carnal47]

You sound like the one who is "freaking out" like an inexperienced schoolgirl with her first crush. If the situation is as you describe it- she has tried to flirt with you, had her friend tell you that she likes you, got ignored by you, then after she changed her behavior around you due to feeling rejected you tried to contact her via FB- then I'd say you should either leave her alone, or be ready and able for some pretty mature and sophisticated communication to explain your interests. A good start would be to offer an apology for sending mixed messages to her, but I would also be ready to accept that her interest in you may not still be there. Most people don't really like putting themselves out there and then having those advances rejected or ignored ... which it sounds like you did.

oh dude you are the definition of over confidence! Because she is still freaking out whenever she sees me is why im posting this for advice otherwise i wouldn't. And she didn't tell her friend to tell me how she feels but I got it out of him because I and him are tight and he is on her FB. And because she didn't change her behaviour around me is why i tried to contact her on FB just to make her happy giving her that confirmation and reassurance. And plus i didn't give her any messages. All i did was sit in my bench minding my own business doing my workout. And she came there inches next to me doing her stretches. All I did was smile ate her out of courtesy and thats the only interaction I had with her.

"Most people don't really like putting themselves out there and then having those advances rejected or ignored" Dude! you don't know how persistent women can be. Believe me! I've experienced it too much. You have a lot to learn bruh!! Do that before replying to posts like these!! For the love of God!!

 

[carnal47]

Hmmm.I think you might be assuming her intentions. The only way to know, is to kindly, gently approach her if you are interested, and just start with a "Hi!"
Two things will happen, she will be receptive and reply, then you can share the shy moment of starting a conversation and you can laugh about any misunderstanding or....
She will indicate clearly she is not interested.
Either way, you will only know if you step forward.
What's the worst that could happen? She declines.
The right thing to do in either of these scenarios at that point is respect them.

Just my 2cents.

That does make a lot of sense Amy. So should I intentionally walk up to her even if she's at a distance from me or just keep it casual?

 

[BadAmy]

That does make a lot of sense Amy. So should I intentionally walk up to her even if she's at a distance from me or just keep it casual?

Of course. You won't know anything until you try.

 

[PapaDan]

then why is it that whenever she sees me she gets nervous and freaks out like a school girl seeing her crush??

Maybe she thinks you are stalking her.

 

[naughtymind]

oh dude you are the definition of over confidence! Because she is still freaking out whenever she sees me is why im posting this for advice otherwise i wouldn't. And she didn't tell her friend to tell me how she feels but I got it out of him because I and him are tight and he is on her FB. And because she didn't change her behaviour around me is why i tried to contact her on FB just to make her happy giving her that confirmation and reassurance. And plus i didn't give her any messages. All i did was sit in my bench minding my own business doing my workout. And she came there inches next to me doing her stretches. All I did was smile ate her out of courtesy and thats the only interaction I had with her.

"Most people don't really like putting themselves out there and then having those advances rejected or ignored" Dude! you don't know how persistent women can be. Believe me! I've experienced it too much. You have a lot to learn bruh!! Do that before replying to posts like these!! For the love of God!!

Well if you've got women so figured out why are you asking such basic and obvious questions here? You ask a silly question, but then get defensive when people offer advice. I offered my two cents because you asked, you can take it or leave it. Your choice if you wish to learn and grow or not. Best of luck either way.

 

[RoperTrace]

Time to move on.

 

[carnal47]

Hmmm.I think you might be assuming her intentions. The only way to know, is to kindly, gently approach her if you are interested, and just start with a "Hi!"
Two things will happen, she will be receptive and reply, then you can share the shy moment of starting a conversation and you can laugh about any misunderstanding or....
She will indicate clearly she is not interested.
Either way, you will only know if you step forward.
What's the worst that could happen? She declines.
The right thing to do in either of these scenarios at that point is respect them.

Just my 2cents.

And just because she declined and blocked further friends requests doesn't mean I can't personally approach/socialize with her right?

 

[BadAmy]

And just because she declined and blocked further friends requests doesn't mean I can't personally approach/socialize with her right?

Ask yourself, am I really interested in getting to know this person?
This is where your gentlemanly skills come in.
If you stated your interest in getting to know her and she rejected your advances, then as others said, let it go and move on.
There really is nothing more unsettling that saying no thank you, and having the guy continue to pursue. Respect the boundaries.

 

[NightL]

Dude! you don't know how persistent women can be. Believe me! I've experienced it too much. You have a lot to learn bruh!! Do that before replying to posts like these!! For the love of God!!

from the man who has laid bare his torturous never ending journey of keeping "persistent women" at bay with such scintillating titles as

"Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=89445877

"Why did she suddenly start avoiding me?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1516347

"Does it make her really upset?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1516997

"Does she expect more from him?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1519206

With such a history of "persistent women" you surely must be the love guru of Swindon. Yet here you are again seeking advice over a situation where you actually have not had any form of meaningful conversation.

So someone you have not had a conversation with "seemed to have a stressed out, annoyed/angry impression on her face", "started avoiding me", "looking away whenever we made eye contact", "Freaks out whenever we make eye contact and hurriedly turns her head away", "blocked me from further requests", "rejected my Fb request", "gets nervous and freaks out" and yet you believe all this to be "like a school girl seeing her crush" and don't consider that she may just think you another creep at the gym?

All this trying to make eye contact, is this some special kind of Swindon mind control? "I don't need to talk with her. She will simply melt to all my deep sensual desires with my unflinching laser gaze".

How come a stud such as yourself is still single after all these years?

Have you considered "as her friend told me" was not just sarcasm?

Oh, one more question: How many of these "persistent women" you "experienced it too much" with have you actually had a conversation - well more than just your special laser eyes treatment?

 

[carnal47]

Ask yourself, am I really interested in getting to know this person?
This is where your gentlemanly skills come in.
If you stated your interest in getting to know her and she rejected your advances, then as others said, let it go and move on.
There really is nothing more unsettling that saying no thank you, and having the guy continue to pursue. Respect the boundaries.

Thank You Amy. You confirmed to me that I should just move on. But is it appropriate to behave like she's invisible or just say "Hi" if we happen to cross paths?

 

[twister947]

Jesus Christ...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

This…it was a joke, right? A message board experiment?

Jesus, dude.

 

[BadAmy]

This…it was a joke, right? A message board experiment?

Jesus, dude.

from the man who has laid bare his torturous never ending journey of keeping "persistent women" at bay with such scintillating titles as

"Do I still have to have a real conversation with her?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=89445877

"Why did she suddenly start avoiding me?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1516347

"Does it make her really upset?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1516997

"Does she expect more from him?"
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1519206

I sheepishly discovered this was one of many threads... of a similar ilk.
thought I could be helpful.

 

[NightL]

thought I could be helpful.

Sorry - but I am so laughing out loud - and I fell for the trap again with my first post here - and I knew

reminds me of Chris

 

[BadAmy]

Sorry - but I am so laughing out loud - and I fell for the trap again with my first post here - and I knew

reminds me of Chris

Who's Chris?

 

[NightL]

Who's Chris?

A number of years ago Chris would ask for guidance on what he thought were relationships or desire for relationships - the questions were naive in nature and usually indicated he had perceived communication when there had been none.

He would twist and turn from all genuine efforts of advice, occasionally getting super intense and abusive in response. In his odd peculiar way he had people jumping through hoops - then have outbursts at them.

Then repeat many times over a 3 year period before his account got shut down.

The threads were entertaining - I'll see if I can dig one up