Non-social man wonders where to go to meet the right kind of woman...

[Beandip478]

I'm 59 now. Haven't been in a relationship in years. Live alone, have no kids. I have never been a social person because social settings trigger my anxiety. Unfortunately, socializing is at the heart of just about everything worth having in this life, from friends and family to career, etc.
So, having been alone too long, I would like to meet the right woman. I've tried all the online personals sites, they're all crap and just waste my money. In any case, if you're looking for a happy, well-adjusted woman, as I am, I think you, as a man, are more likely to find her in the real world, in some kind of social setting.
I don't drink, and I find bars depressing anyway, so that isn't an option. I also feel that anything artificial, like a mixer arranged by a dating agency, is guaranteed to attract all the wrong people.
It has to be naturally occurring, perhaps through friends and family, or a special interest group. For example, I've recently wanted to get back into playing the kind of fantasy board games I played when I was young. There must be plenty of people with a similar desire, who get together for that. Now, how to find them...

 

[MLG1016]

Try a joining a club such as the Fraternal Order of Eagles, etc. Stay local to your area. Members are mature and get together for a purpose, which may make you feel good. Single and married alike.

 

[Britva415]

Yeah, you really have to stop being non-social.

There are so many kinds of organizations you could get involved with. How about a local historical society. Or hiking club. Or volunteer group, like say a local food bank.

It doesn't have to be organized either. How about hanging out at the local dog park. Or if you can't get your own dog, offer to walk a neighbor's dog. Grow stuff at a local community garden. Drop in at the public library for any of the events on their calendar - a book club, a visiting lecturer, a movie night.

Being "non-social" is unattractive to many women, so, not only do you have to stop being non-social in order to create opportunities to meet them, you have to stop being non-social so that they won't perceive you as someone who has no life at all and wants to be a parasite in theirs.

How bad do you want it?

Bad enough to get your social anxiety treated, if necessary?

 

[RoryN]

So this, plus your train-wreck thread about women, shows that you're an anti-social, misogynistic dork, who's pushing 60.

One at a time, ladies!

 

[Saint_Ann]

The right kind of woman would put up with all that.

 

[neon_noodle]

If there's one thing women like, it's a fixer up-er!

"I can change him" said every woman.

To the topic, the best way to meet gals is via hobby classes. Cooking ones, painting, outdoor stuff, etc. The classes are fun, you usually pair up in them, and can talk about what you're doing, without the drama of bars where you're obviously trying to chat each other up, with the pressure that goes into that.

If you hit it off, you can offer to meet up to continue the hobby on your own time, and again, it doesn't have the pressure of A DATE!!!

Good luck.

 

[goldytheGoldfish]

I also feel that anything artificial

Tinder and Hinge are both being sued right now, but... don't rule them out. Are you trying to meet up with someone in your area, or are you looking for whatever fits the bill that doesn't require you compromise?

 

[CliimaxForYou]

I'm 59 now. Haven't been in a relationship in years. Live alone, have no kids. I have never been a social person because social settings trigger my anxiety. Unfortunately, socializing is at the heart of just about everything worth having in this life, from friends and family to career, etc.
So, having been alone too long, I would like to meet the right woman. I've tried all the online personals sites, they're all crap and just waste my money. In any case, if you're looking for a happy, well-adjusted woman, as I am, I think you, as a man, are more likely to find her in the real world, in some kind of social setting.
I don't drink, and I find bars depressing anyway, so that isn't an option. I also feel that anything artificial, like a mixer arranged by a dating agency, is guaranteed to attract all the wrong people.
It has to be naturally occurring, perhaps through friends and family, or a special interest group. For example, I've recently wanted to get back into playing the kind of fantasy board games I played when I was young. There must be plenty of people with a similar desire, who get together for that. Now, how to find them...

Take riding lessons at a barn nearby. 99% of horse people are women. Most in my barn are in your age range.

Just like anywhere…some horse people are crazy. : )

 

[CliimaxForYou]

Yeah, you really have to stop being non-social.

There are so many kinds of organizations you could get involved with. How about a local historical society. Or hiking club. Or volunteer group, like say a local food bank.

It doesn't have to be organized either. How about hanging out at the local dog park. Or if you can't get your own dog, offer to walk a neighbor's dog. Grow stuff at a local community garden. Drop in at the public library for any of the events on their calendar - a book club, a visiting lecturer, a movie night.

Being "non-social" is unattractive to many women, so, not only do you have to stop being non-social in order to create opportunities to meet them, you have to stop being non-social so that they won't perceive you as someone who has no life at all and wants to be a parasite in theirs.

How bad do you want it?

Bad enough to get your social anxiety treated, if necessary?

Meetup.com has lots of local organizations for many areas. And it’s mostly free.

 

[Chernosoth]

Chuck E. Cheese and Walmart.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Chuck E. Cheese and Walmart.

Good choices. Also closing time at many bars. You'll find the girl of your dreams

 

[StrangerDuJour]

24 hour launderette?