Navigating Gay Intimacy: Real Stories from Straight Men in Male-Dominated Environments.

[Socock98]

Hello everyone!

Today I am coming to you to try and get some real-life experiences and testimonies to help me write my next story. First, I'd like to make clear that I am not trying to steal your story, nor am I trying to write your story. I already have the characters and plot in mind for my story; I am simply trying to get some real-life testimonies to make my story better.

I am looking into the interpersonal relationships between men in the military, and more importantly, straight men. Personally, I believe that given the circumstances of their job (isolation, away from women, stress, camaraderie with fellow soldiers, etc.), some straight men willingly enter intimate/sexual relationships with other men. I am not looking for the sexual details of those encounters (although you are free to provide them if you choose to), but I am looking for the state of mind and thought process that lead straight men to get involved with other men.

Specifically, I am trying to get answers to these sorts of questions:

- What circumstances led you to have sex with another man?
- How did it happen? Was it initiated by you or by another man? Was it a spur-of-the-moment decision, or did you take time to think about it and decide to go for it?
- What did the encounter include? Were there kissing? Mutual masturbation? Oral sex? Anal sex? And was there a giver and a receiver, or did everyone partake in every role?
- Do you still consider yourself straight? Do you regret it? Did you seek out male intimacy even in a setting where you could have female intimacy? Did it change the way you think about your own sexuality or just sexuality in general?
- Were you attracted to the other man? Did you want to have sex with him? Or was it just a 'hole is a hole' kind of deal?
- Or if you are a straight man who didn't have a sexual encounter with another man, did it ever cross your mind? Did you want to but never got to? Could you not do it simply because you didn't find someone to do it with? Or were you too scared to seek out a partner?

These are some questions to give an idea of what I am looking for; there are probably topics or elements I didn't think about while writing this, and you could add more information as well. There is no need to answer exactly to every question; they are just examples.

I specified military men at the beginning of my post because my story will involve the military, but it could be any jobs with similar conditions (no access to straight sex for long periods of time, close proximity to other men, etc.). The most important part is that at least one man involved in the sexual encounter is straight. If you are gay and had sex with straight men, if you have insights into the mind of the straight men, it could also be interesting. But I know why gay men have gay sex, so that is why I'm looking for testimonies from straight men.

If you aren't comfortable talking about it in the forum because it is too 'public,' you can contact me in private, either directly through private messages on the forum or via email. I'm pretty sure I won't get any replies, but I wanted to at least try, and even if only one person responds, it would be very helpful!

Finally, I will add that I am neither straight nor a part of the military, and that's why I am looking for real testimonies, to give me an idea of how it really is (if it is different from what I imagine). I'd also understand if you don't want to talk about it!

Anyway, thank you for reading this, and I hope you can help me!

 

[OffNSFW]

There's a book you should read called Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, by Jane Ward. It is exactly what you're looking for.

 

[Lifestyle66]

...
I am looking into the interpersonal relationships between men in the military, and more importantly, straight men. Personally, I believe that given the circumstances of their job (isolation, away from women, stress, camaraderie with fellow soldiers, etc.), some straight men willingly enter intimate/sexual relationships with other men.

I'm sure there are many different experiences (and tolerances) in various jobs or units in the military, and in different branches of service and nations around the world. Some are more welcome or accepting of such male-on-male encounters more so than others.

In the U.S. Army combat units (at least a few decades ago), such sexual encounters were not merely discouraged, but dangerous. Infantrymen and Special Ops men formed bonds of camaraderie based on shared dangers and trusting each other to "have their back". But they were encouraged to COMPETE against all others to the extremes! Everything was a competition. And sex was not something you did with your buddy (unless it was sharing a woman in a gangbang, as happened on various occasions.)

Real martial arts for hand-to-hand combat training was deemed too dangerous due to the potential to injure soldiers, taking someone out of action with broken bones or otherwise needing medical care. So, our version of hand-to-hand training was "Slap Boxing", where we were paired off in sawdust pits to spend five minutes of slapping the shit out of each other. So, you don't "love" you buddy for slapping the shit out of you.

During our time off together with unit friends, we spent the evenings and weekends trolling the local bars and nightclubs looking for pussy. And the competition was fierce, with many of us carrying brass knuckles and switch blades. Fights would break out so often that the military police patrolled the local town bars alongside the town police to deal with the soldiers. And those fights were always over either drugs or women. I got into two such fights over my girlfriend, who worked as a waitress in a strip club. (I came out unscathed.)

So, instilling such a killer instinct in fighting men was encouraged in the combat arms units to help those who would be expected to do it in combat. The last thing the leadership needed was a soldier breaking down in tears for shooting another man. We didn't "love" our fellow man. Every one of them (even our friends and roommates) was the competition and potential targets! And those who didn't learn that lesson were WEAK!

So, in your story, be careful in selecting the military setting. At least decades ago in the U.S. Army, such encounters might only have happened in what we referred to as among the REMF's (Rear Echelon MotherFuckers). The combat units had men who were a hair trigger away from killing each other in the barracks (as one of my roommates tried to do to another guy using an entrenching tool on his head on a Saturday morning.)

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hello everyone!

Today I am coming to you to try and get some real-life experiences and testimonies to help me write my next story. First, I'd like to make clear that I am not trying to steal your story, nor am I trying to write your story. I already have the characters and plot in mind for my story; I am simply trying to get some real-life testimonies to make my story better.

I am looking into the interpersonal relationships between men in the military, and more importantly, straight men. Personally, I believe that given the circumstances of their job (isolation, away from women, stress, camaraderie with fellow soldiers, etc.), some straight men willingly enter intimate/sexual relationships with other men. I am not looking for the sexual details of those encounters (although you are free to provide them if you choose to), but I am looking for the state of mind and thought process that lead straight men to get involved with other men.

Specifically, I am trying to get answers to these sorts of questions:

- What circumstances led you to have sex with another man?
- How did it happen? Was it initiated by you or by another man? Was it a spur-of-the-moment decision, or did you take time to think about it and decide to go for it?
- What did the encounter include? Were there kissing? Mutual masturbation? Oral sex? Anal sex? And was there a giver and a receiver, or did everyone partake in every role?
- Do you still consider yourself straight? Do you regret it? Did you seek out male intimacy even in a setting where you could have female intimacy? Did it change the way you think about your own sexuality or just sexuality in general?
- Were you attracted to the other man? Did you want to have sex with him? Or was it just a 'hole is a hole' kind of deal?
- Or if you are a straight man who didn't have a sexual encounter with another man, did it ever cross your mind? Did you want to but never got to? Could you not do it simply because you didn't find someone to do it with? Or were you too scared to seek out a partner?

These are some questions to give an idea of what I am looking for; there are probably topics or elements I didn't think about while writing this, and you could add more information as well. There is no need to answer exactly to every question; they are just examples.

I specified military men at the beginning of my post because my story will involve the military, but it could be any jobs with similar conditions (no access to straight sex for long periods of time, close proximity to other men, etc.). The most important part is that at least one man involved in the sexual encounter is straight. If you are gay and had sex with straight men, if you have insights into the mind of the straight men, it could also be interesting. But I know why gay men have gay sex, so that is why I'm looking for testimonies from straight men.

If you aren't comfortable talking about it in the forum because it is too 'public,' you can contact me in private, either directly through private messages on the forum. I'm pretty sure I won't get any replies, but I wanted to at least try, and even if only one person responds, it would be very helpful!

Finally, I will add that I am neither straight nor a part of the military, and that's why I am looking for real testimonies, to give me an idea of how it really is (if it is different from what I imagine). I'd also understand if you don't want to talk about it!

Anyway, thank you for reading this, and I hope you can help me!

You can’t include a email in your post. Please delete it before the moderator does.

Emily

 

[Scareltt]

There's a book you should read called Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, by Jane Ward. It is exactly what you're looking for.

I read The Tragedy of Heterosexuality” by her and found it very enlightening.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

'situational' or 'circumstantial' homosexuality should find you online anecdotes. Quora has many, if you look up gay + army etc.

 

[Socock98]

There's a book you should read called Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men, by Jane Ward. It is exactly what you're looking for.

I will definitely check it out, thanks!

I'm sure there are many different experiences (and tolerances) in various jobs or units in the military, and in different branches of service and nations around the world. Some are more welcome or accepting of such male-on-male encounters more so than others.

In the U.S. Army combat units (at least a few decades ago), such sexual encounters were not merely discouraged, but dangerous. Infantrymen and Special Ops men formed bonds of camaraderie based on shared dangers and trusting each other to "have their back". But they were encouraged to COMPETE against all others to the extremes! Everything was a competition. And sex was not something you did with your buddy (unless it was sharing a woman in a gangbang, as happened on various occasions.)

Real martial arts for hand-to-hand combat training was deemed too dangerous due to the potential to injure soldiers, taking someone out of action with broken bones or otherwise needing medical care. So, our version of hand-to-hand training was "Slap Boxing", where we were paired off in sawdust pits to spend five minutes of slapping the shit out of each other. So, you don't "love" you buddy for slapping the shit out of you.

During our time off together with unit friends, we spent the evenings and weekends trolling the local bars and nightclubs looking for pussy. And the competition was fierce, with many of us carrying brass knuckles and switch blades. Fights would break out so often that the military police patrolled the local town bars alongside the town police to deal with the soldiers. And those fights were always over either drugs or women. I got into two such fights over my girlfriend, who worked as a waitress in a strip club. (I came out unscathed.)

So, instilling such a killer instinct in fighting men was encouraged in the combat arms units to help those who would be expected to do it in combat. The last thing the leadership needed was a soldier breaking down in tears for shooting another man. We didn't "love" our fellow man. Every one of them (even our friends and roommates) was the competition and potential targets! And those who didn't learn that lesson were WEAK!

So, in your story, be careful in selecting the military setting. At least decades ago in the U.S. Army, such encounters might only have happened in what we referred to as among the REMF's (Rear Echelon MotherFuckers). The combat units had men who were a hair trigger away from killing each other in the barracks (as one of my roommates tried to do to another guy using an entrenching tool on his head on a Saturday morning.)

I see, thanks. My story will be told in present day, where it's "acceptable" to be gay in the military.

circumstantial' homosexuality

I will check it out, thanks

 

[ElectricBlue]

You can’t include a email in your post. Please delete it before the moderator does.

Emily

You should delete it from your repost, Em.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You should delete it from your repost, Em.