Mental Illness

[CutieMouse]

I have so much going on right now and could probably benefit from blubbering here... except that ever since the ex alluded to following my online activity during the lawsuit a year ago, I find myself still feeling censored and fearful of discussing anything.

There are things going on that are incredibly sad and heartbreaking (for me).
There are things going on that concern me (for others), but I'm doing my best to take care of it.
There are amazing possibilities in my very near future; I keep reminding myself of that.
I suspect my desire to re-evaluate my anxiety meds every 6 months, isn't going to happen for a while.

 

[Alliecat1970]

I hope things get better soon, CutieMouse, though it sounds complicated. Your posts always brighten up my day. So, thank you.

 

[FurryFury]

It's awful to have an outlet taken away and to have to worry what you post. I'm so sorry CutieMouse. *HUGS* I hope things get better for you and yours soon.

 

[marieR19]

*sends lots of hugs and love to CutieMouse and FurryFury*

Wednesday was the anniversary of my best friend's death (died not long before high school graduation). Missing her made me miss my dad and my grandpa, and ended up dwelling on the horrible circumstances surrounding their deaths. NOT a fun couple days.

I'm back on Effexor for the first time in over a year, and I really really hope it will help... I just hate the whole "have to start low and increase slowly" thing. I *understand* why, but it frustrates me... Back when I was taking Effexor and it was *working*, I was taking 500mg/day. .... My starting dose at the moment is a half-pill of 75mg. I'm trying really hard to think positive, but... yeah.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS* to you too MarieR19. Hang in there.

 

[PullYouPushMe]

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[Sweetdaisymae]

@pullmepushyou
I am not having an mental breakthrough, I am having reactive depression due to an extreme amount of stress and many negative things all occurring simultaneously in my life, it isn't fun, and it sure isn't sex related.
Maybe you should read the thread a little more and for that matter the forum. I do not believe any of us would cherish being compared to flashers. Flashing is a non consensual activity, often performed to vulnerable victims.
BDSM, no matter how deviant you believe it is, is an activity between consenting adults, who know and understand the risks (well,mostly, as with all things, there are always idiots)
But please, enough of the deviant = mental health stuff.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't know of many that have that.

I do think it's good that kink is more out in the open with information on the internet but I don't think that most mental illness has anything to do with kink at all so it's not a direct break through, IMO.

I've also not followed every discussion here, so forgive me if I might be intruding into any current ongoing conversations within this thread. But as my late partner suffered a mental health problem for almost half her life, I have some small experience in this area and felt the need to contribute, especially in reference to the original posting.
Seeking out the best medical advice in regard to appropriate drug and talking therapies, particularly at the outset of any symptoms is obvious, if not crucial, but the prerequisite is a supportive network of family and/or friends to recognize changes in behaviour and to encourage those initial first steps on the road to effective remedies, if not eventual recovery.
The stigma, embarrassment and fear of mental illness was very evident to my partner. To be informed by your husband - "I'll never visit you in a mental hospital!", to being physically shaken as a potential cure to a serious anxiety disorder by ones own sister is telling and unhelpful, to say the least.
Even in this era of political correctness, our attitudes towards mental health issues is poor. Though many people might find some sexual behaviours disturbing, not many (especially in the middle-class realm) would agree they are as a consequence of the disturbed mind. 'Flashers', when I was young, were considered sexual deviants, a sad minority of dirty old men in grubby raincoats. The internet age appears to have unlocked the hidden 'flasher' in us all. Are all those explicit Litster avatars, as a for instance, evidence of mental illness or new found freedom? It might be horses for courses, but if society's tolerance of alternative lifestyles has genuinely broadened as a result of the sexual revolution, then perhaps we're all due for a major overhaul in our view of mental health matters.
So, is that a mental breakdown you're having, or a mental breakthrough?

 

[FurryFury]

Got a nearly $200 refund check on that EKG. Yay, I guess. Shouldn't have charged us that much to begin with.

 

[marieR19]

I wasn't really sure whether to post (again), but....

Two weeks on Effexor and I feel absolutely no different. I'm getting concerned because my appt. is Friday and my medical leave is over the following Monday. I know from past experience that I can extend it, but.... The last two messages I left for my boss I haven't heard back. I know that doesn't *necessarily* have anything to do with me, but I'm (finally) starting to feel that pressure of taking too much time off work, will my job still be the same when I get back, will they want to change my schedule or something, etc etc....

On top of that, my friend's cat choked to death this morning. I'm.... like, just.... In shock, I guess. I'd only met Toby once, but she showed us pictures so often that I felt like I *really* knew him, yunno? And I absolutely loooove cats to being with, and I feel horrible for what she's going through, and what the other two cats are going through (they are showing serious grieving signs), and I just.... I didn't even really *know* the cat and I totally cried when I found out.

Just.... too much on my plate. Seriously.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm so sorry MarieR19. *HUGS and HUGS*

 

[FurryFury]

The neurologist, wanted more tests which is no surprise. The jury is still out if that will be helpful in anyway. I'm hoping so but so many times I've found they, (medical professionals), can't really figure anything out.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I believe the field of medicine, both physical and mental, is mostly educated trial and error. There is so much that we simply don't know and can't really find answers for.

I think this is why I am so hesitant to have me son started on meds. He doesn't want to, I really don't want him to, his therapist thinks he definitely should be. He is on a waiting list for a med eval. We will just wait and see.

 

[FurryFury]

I was extremely reluctant too for both of my kids. My girl and I were only willing to try after years of her struggling and when she was about to start college with a very good academic scholarship.

My son felt he needed them and did what he had to in order to convince me.

Meds don't fix everything but they do help a little or a lot depending on the issues and the drugs.

I believe the field of medicine, both physical and mental, is mostly educated trial and error. There is so much that we simply don't know and can't really find answers for.

I think this is why I am so hesitant to have me son started on meds. He doesn't want to, I really don't want him to, his therapist thinks he definitely should be. He is on a waiting list for a med eval. We will just wait and see.

 

[BiBunny]

I got a small SAD light for my birthday. (In addition to other things, of course. I don't want y'all to think that my kinfolks were like, "Here's your gift. Now stop being crazy." It was just on my Amazon wishlist, so my mother bought it for me.)

It's supposed to clamp to the top of my laptop monitor, but it is BLINDINGLY bright, so I set it about 3 feet away from me instead. I hope it works. Winter's come early here this year, and while I'm not suicidally depressed or anything, I've been having a consistently shitty mood. It's worse than it normally is this time of year, AND I HATE EVERYTHING.

Er...anyway. I hope everyone else is doing ok. Maybe we're all doing better, since this may be the first time since this thread was started that it's fallen off the front page. At least that I can remember, anyhow.

 

[KoPilot]

I think I have BIID.

I can't seem to find anyone else that actually has it too. The community hubs for sufferers seem to have disappeared over the past few years for some reason, and the rest of what I can find is people talking about us. And not much of it is good.

 

[FurryFury]

I hope the SAD light works well for you.

*HUGS*

I got a small SAD light for my birthday. (In addition to other things, of course. I don't want y'all to think that my kinfolks were like, "Here's your gift. Now stop being crazy." It was just on my Amazon wishlist, so my mother bought it for me.)

It's supposed to clamp to the top of my laptop monitor, but it is BLINDINGLY bright, so I set it about 3 feet away from me instead. I hope it works. Winter's come early here this year, and while I'm not suicidally depressed or anything, I've been having a consistently shitty mood. It's worse than it normally is this time of year, AND I HATE EVERYTHING.

Er...anyway. I hope everyone else is doing ok. Maybe we're all doing better, since this may be the first time since this thread was started that it's fallen off the front page. At least that I can remember, anyhow.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't know what that is. When I looked it up I found something about amputee disorder. What is it?

*HUGS*

I think I have BIID.

I can't seem to find anyone else that actually has it too. The community hubs for sufferers seem to have disappeared over the past few years for some reason, and the rest of what I can find is people talking about us. And not much of it is good.

 

[KoPilot]

I don't know what that is. When I looked it up I found something about amputee disorder. What is it?

*HUGS*

Yeah, that's the thing; most of folks with it (it's also been recently renamed to xenomelia to try and lessen some of the nasty baggage associated with the old term?) have the desire to remove a certain body part. I don't? At least I don't think I do, but things get complicated where gender and genitals are concerned. Talking with some other nonbinary trans* folks about neutral bodies had me googling about the "opposite of phantom limb syndrome" and this is how I discovered the disorder.

I've since done a lot more reading and have found that I match the typical case down to a tee and have ALL associated symptoms.

The thing is that I'm not over-complete concerning a body part, but rather my whole body. I'm actually thinking that this may be the cause of my macrophilia and why I've always felt like the fetish plays a huge role in my identity as a person all-around. I've done some damaging things and picked up weird habits over the years to help mitigate this sometimes painful, but mostly irritating background noise to my life. Good thing I can't just sit myself in a bucket of dry ice to take off a half dozen inches without disfiguring myself, otherwise I probably would.

 

[BiBunny]

I think I have BIID.

I can't seem to find anyone else that actually has it too. The community hubs for sufferers seem to have disappeared over the past few years for some reason, and the rest of what I can find is people talking about us. And not much of it is good.

Yeah, that's the thing; most of folks with it (it's also been recently renamed to xenomelia to try and lessen some of the nasty baggage associated with the old term?) have the desire to remove a certain body part. I don't? At least I don't think I do, but things get complicated where gender and genitals are concerned. Talking with some other nonbinary trans* folks about neutral bodies had me googling about the "opposite of phantom limb syndrome" and this is how I discovered the disorder.

I've since done a lot more reading and have found that I match the typical case down to a tee and have ALL associated symptoms.

The thing is that I'm not over-complete concerning a body part, but rather my whole body. I'm actually thinking that this may be the cause of my macrophilia and why I've always felt like the fetish plays a huge role in my identity as a person all-around. I've done some damaging things and picked up weird habits over the years to help mitigate this sometimes painful, but mostly irritating background noise to my life. Good thing I can't just sit myself in a bucket of dry ice to take off a half dozen inches without disfiguring myself, otherwise I probably would.

I'm like FF. I didn't know what that was and had to Google. It sounds pretty sucky.

I hope the SAD light works well for you.

*HUGS*

Thanks! I've used it for 2 days and feel better already. Placebo effect? Probably. Am I complaining? Hell, no.

 

[KoPilot]

I'm like FF. I didn't know what that was and had to Google. It sounds pretty sucky.

It's weird stuff, but then I remember that I've been dealing with it for 20 years already. It causes me some pretty intense body dysphoria sometimes , but it's manageable.

The neat thing is that it seems to explain an enormous part of who I am, and things I haven't been able to connect before. Reading that the right parietal lobe is responsible for both feelings of bodily ownership and sensory integration was quite a revelation.

 

[FurryFury]

It's great when you discover something that clicks with you. *HUGS*

It's weird stuff, but then I remember that I've been dealing with it for 20 years already. It causes me some pretty intense body dysphoria sometimes , but it's manageable.

The neat thing is that it seems to explain an enormous part of who I am, and things I haven't been able to connect before. Reading that the right parietal lobe is responsible for both feelings of bodily ownership and sensory integration was quite a revelation.

 

[daddy4romance]

Well, I think you're awesome.



Odd time for this to pop up. I'm developing a new phobia (like I don't have enough), this time regarding my car. I've been in four, not at-fault, car accidents this year and it's becoming more and more difficult for me to drive myself places, and almost impossible for other people to drive me. I talked to my doctor, and he wants to me to see a shrink (I'd rather not) cause he thinks I have PTSD. I didn't even mention my other phobias - they don't really affect me on a daily basis in ways that are a big deal. (I can't be the only person in the world who sleeps with a night light. lol)

Hi Grace, I wrote a long reply but thought it might be more appropriate to send it as a PM. Take care.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I haven't posted in a while, I have started CBT, which has had me breaking down at regular times. It is becoming apparent I have issues with anxiety which in turn cause the depression to worsen. We are trying to tackle what I call my boulders. These are the things that get in the way of me doing things. Great big invisible insurmountable boulders. I wouldn't say that I am agoraphobic, but there is a big part of me that doesn't want to go out, and I need to plan my time to make sure I do the things that I need to.
It sucks.

The meds are not causing so many side effects. Still jaw clenching and shaky, but the worst of the nausea has gone.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS*

I haven't posted in a while, I have started CBT, which has had me breaking down at regular times. It is becoming apparent I have issues with anxiety which in turn cause the depression to worsen. We are trying to tackle what I call my boulders. These are the things that get in the way of me doing things. Great big invisible insurmountable boulders. I wouldn't say that I am agoraphobic, but there is a big part of me that doesn't want to go out, and I need to plan my time to make sure I do the things that I need to.
It sucks.

The meds are not causing so many side effects. Still jaw clenching and shaky, but the worst of the nausea has gone.