Mental Illness

[KoPilot]

My mother is raging.

My girl has ruined all but one class this semester and won't stay at her apartment.

My son's new gf has decided he can't look at porn. Caught him at it then "punished" him by making him watch her cutting and "od-ing" though she is fine, alive, didn't go to the hospital. I'm outraged.

I'm surrounded by crazy. It's making me crazy.

I know the feeling. It really really sucks not being able to do much of anything about these peripheral situations. :\

-hugs-

 

[BiBunny]

My mother is raging.

My girl has ruined all but one class this semester and won't stay at her apartment.

My son's new gf has decided he can't look at porn. Caught him at it then "punished" him by making him watch her cutting and "od-ing" though she is fine, alive, didn't go to the hospital. I'm outraged.

I'm surrounded by crazy. It's making me crazy.

One of the worst things in the world is to be made crazy by being dragged into other people's drama. Take care of yourself.

 

[graceanne]

My mother is raging.

My girl has ruined all but one class this semester and won't stay at her apartment.

My son's new gf has decided he can't look at porn. Caught him at it then "punished" him by making him watch her cutting and "od-ing" though she is fine, alive, didn't go to the hospital. I'm outraged.

I'm surrounded by crazy. It's making me crazy.

I'm sorry. *hugs*

 

[MissRedNight]

My mother is raging.

My girl has ruined all but one class this semester and won't stay at her apartment.

My son's new gf has decided he can't look at porn. Caught him at it then "punished" him by making him watch her cutting and "od-ing" though she is fine, alive, didn't go to the hospital. I'm outraged.

I'm surrounded by crazy. It's making me crazy.

Best wishes are with you. I found myself relating a lot to the whole 'being surrounded by crazy'.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS*

Thanks!

Best wishes are with you. I found myself relating a lot to the whole 'being surrounded by crazy'.

 

[BiBunny]

Dear Fellow Crazy People,

Do me a favor please. As much as I think it's admirable to try to de-stigmatize mental illness, please don't think it's ok to tell anyone and everyone that you run across all about your issues. There are multiple reasons for this.

1.) Random people do not care about your problems. Professional contacts do not care about your problems. Acquaintances do not care about your problems. It's ok to share with close friends and family members, people in group therapy sessions, or Internet threads titled "Mental Illness." Most other places? It's inappropriate. Not everybody is your friend, and that is ok.

2.) Just because people are being polite doesn't mean that they care about your problems. They are most likely very uncomfortable but don't want to be rude about it. You're the one who's being rude by foisting your shit off on them and making them uncomfortable in the first place.

3.) Your lack of boundaries just helps reinforce all the bad notions out there about crazy people.

4.) Also, going into great detail about these things with people you barely know makes it look like you're trying to issue yourself a Get Out Of Jail free card in advance, so that when you fuck up, you've got a ready excuse handy. "But I told you I had problems!" Yeah, fuck that. Doesn't work that way.

Please advise. This shit is getting obnoxious.

~Bunz

 

[BiBunny]

Very good advice bunny.

may i ask what prompted it?

Some very uncomfortable conversations I've had foisted off on me lately that I had no way of politely extricating myself from. *Thousand-yard stare*

 

[marieR19]

I completely agree with that post, BiBunny.

However, I will say that who you should/shouldn't tell is very dependent on the individual and the circumstances. Family and friends, sure. Colleagues and other people in your work? .... It depends. My boss *has* to know about my illnesses, otherwise I would've been fired years ago for the number of times I've had to call in or leave work early.

Acquaintances? Again, it depends. If said acquaintance is someone who will most likely *become* a close friend down the line, I'd rather them know up-front so I don't have to deal with my best friend suddenly running away from me. It's why I told Bitsy, because I knew we were on the road to *becoming* friends and I didn't want things to get all awkward and hurtful if I waited to tell her too long.

I completely agree that it's Not Okay to tell EVERYONE and give tons of details to random people. But for a lot of categories, it really just depends.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

When you watch someone you love walk the line of wanting to live or not for long enough, somewhere along the hours of love, words, and reassurance through their brutally honest suffering it begins to muddle what is right and wrong. Somehow it switches and helping them starts to make sense. It is in that place that all I can do is cry with them and hope that it's enough.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS*

When you watch someone you love walk the line of wanting to live or not for long enough, somewhere along the hours of love, words, and reassurance through their brutally honest suffering it begins to muddle what is right and wrong. Somehow it switches and helping them starts to make sense. It is in that place that all I can do is cry with them and hope that it's enough.

 

[Katiesub]

Tell boss? Generally, yes.

But you also have to remember that the boss you tell leaves records for the next boss, and that boss ... well, there are lots of ways for a person who doesn't give a damn to get rid of a good employee.

And you don't know who that next boss will be.

 

[rida]

vent/

And than, after years of supporting him, of offering an ear, of giving suggestions, of doing everything to make his life easier, and getting back blaming, anger, demands and accusation of being abusive, I've run out of caring.

Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him lost into his own mind.
But the inability of ever thinking beyond himself it's not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to get the kind of job he would excel at.
But the intellectual superiority attitude and unwillingness to be humble about what he can do, is not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to handle stress.
But the passive-aggressive attitude I get is not.

I've honestly run out of caring.
I'm tired of being an emotional punching bag.
I'm tired of not being able to count on him for anything.

I'm just tired. *

/vent

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

vent/

And than, after years of supporting him, of offering an ear, of giving suggestions, of doing everything to make his life easier, and getting back blaming, anger, demands and accusation of being abusive, I've run out of caring.

Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him lost into his own mind.
But the inability of ever thinking beyond himself it's not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to get the kind of job he would excel at.
But the intellectual superiority attitude and unwillingness to be humble about what he can do, is not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to handle stress.
But the passive-aggressive attitude I get is not.

I've honestly run out of caring.
I'm tired of being an emotional punching bag.
I'm tired of not being able to count on him for anything.

I'm just tired. *

/vent

 

[graceanne]

vent/

And than, after years of supporting him, of offering an ear, of giving suggestions, of doing everything to make his life easier, and getting back blaming, anger, demands and accusation of being abusive, I've run out of caring.

Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him lost into his own mind.
But the inability of ever thinking beyond himself it's not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to get the kind of job he would excel at.
But the intellectual superiority attitude and unwillingness to be humble about what he can do, is not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to handle stress.
But the passive-aggressive attitude I get is not.

I've honestly run out of caring.
I'm tired of being an emotional punching bag.
I'm tired of not being able to count on him for anything.

I'm just tired. *

/vent

*hugs*

 

[LittleSparks]

vent/

And than, after years of supporting him, of offering an ear, of giving suggestions, of doing everything to make his life easier, and getting back blaming, anger, demands and accusation of being abusive, I've run out of caring.

Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him lost into his own mind.
But the inability of ever thinking beyond himself it's not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to get the kind of job he would excel at.
But the intellectual superiority attitude and unwillingness to be humble about what he can do, is not.
Yes, it's the bipolar that makes him unable to handle stress.
But the passive-aggressive attitude I get is not.

I've honestly run out of caring.
I'm tired of being an emotional punching bag.
I'm tired of not being able to count on him for anything.

I'm just tired. *

/vent

That sounds like such a tough situation to deal with. I hope you have people around you who offer some support. Lit boards are great, but friends in the flesh are better.

 

[Keroin]

I'm just tired.

eHugs are the best I can do, but I'm sending you LOTS. xo

 

[KoPilot]

Been seeing this lady for 5 months and I'm thinking about looking for someone else. Shopping for shrinks is shitty. How the heck do I even know what I'm supposed to be looking for until I've already given them a month's worth of time and $500? I don't want to spend 8 sessions just explaining the basics again.

And at the same time I'm not sure if a therapist can help me, especially now that she's got me doubting if I have anything chemical going on (not knowing what a weighted blanket was seemed like a red flag to me, so I don't know what she knows). I feel like I should just drink myself through the next 2 years of my life and forgo psychotherapy altogether since $75 for an hour of complaining seems a little steep to me. I've got to get out of here anyways, and booze is maybe... $20 for a whole evening's worth of escape.

 

[marieR19]

Honestly, sometimes I feel sorta guilty that the town I live in seems to have such a high concentration of *good* therapists/psychologists/etc. I mean, I have a friend right now in Australia who literally can't find *any* therapist in a 30-mile range, and the few outside that range are.... not the best. How did ONE town get so freakin' lucky in this department, while so many other places get the tiniest end of the stick? It doesn't really seem fair.

My mental illness issue of the week: Semi-relapse with anorexia. I say semi because (so far) I've managed to stop myself from actually *not eating*, managed to go about my normal meal routines, but.... Those *thoughts* hit me HARD a few days ago. Accidentally triggered in a HUGE way by stumbling onto a YouTube clip of an anorexia-related movie that was a fairly huge part of my life back when my ED was at it's worst. Crying fits, cutting, and an entire 24 hours of complete panic-induced fog followed. I'm "better" now then I was a few days ago, but those thoughts, those pro-Ana, anti-me thoughts, are a lot harder to push back this time then in the past when I've had sorta-relapses like this.

 

[bluesky496]

So, on a recent thread about what a PYL needs from a pyl lack of mental illness was mentioned.

Mental illness is often mentioned to explain (erroneously, IMO,) why people are into fringe behavior such as BDSM.

How do you feel about mental illness which, btw, seems rampant in Western Society today?

As someone with an Adult ADHD with depression child it breaks my heart to see the struggles she goes through every day. She is quite the warrior fighting battles by the score. OTOH, while not comfortable, having a Dr. Who brain can be quite miraculous in some ways.

FF

not sure about bdsm but my doctor diagnosed my cross dressing as a form of mental illness ,said it was a form of depression .

 

[FurryFury]

Yesterday I felt like I had my girl back. Everything important to me was "stupid." How very ADHD of her. LOL

Also she was going to get up this morning and go somewhere catching a ride with someone she has never caught a ride with or talked with about doing so before getting up. I said, "You never get up before noon." The meeting time. She said she did. She got up at 12:40. Yep.

 

[Oubliette123]

I am an Illustrator (by profession) and artistic (by nature). I swing wildly from emotion to emotion sometimes rollercoasting so fast I am exhausted. I can go from wildly optimistic to despair in the space of a few minutes. On the whole though, I tend to be an optimistic (and maybe hedonistic) person.

That is the real me.

Then there is the organised mother in me that has a routine, the times where the other side of me is suppressed.

So for me this lifestyle is therapy in itself, each area of BDSM. When I feel wild and uncontrolled and it gets exhausting, the control aspect of my relationship with my partner/master is relief. The pain aspect is also the same relief with the endorphines released at subspace helps the 'crashy' side of me and brings me back up.

Its obviously not so cut and dried as that but its the best way I can explain it. He knows me so well that his instincts lead him to initiate these actions in response to my feelings I guess.

I have wondered if I weren't so volatile in emotions whether I would be happy leading this sort of lifestyle-I really don't know. It works the other way round too, my partner/master needs his role as an expression of his emotions. To me that fits naturally between us.

Now I have rambled on so much (in my head and replying) I have forgotten the OP's original question.....I guess what I am trying to say is that for me this lifestyle stops me from going over the edge. I am not into this lifestyle because of some deep trauma suffered in my childhood, but merely as an extension of my arty nature

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks for posting Oubliette123

I get what you are saying.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I should have started reading this thread long ago.

Other than hormone related depression, both after child birth and as I am now in the midst of menopause I am relatively mentally healthy.

On the other hand my second child just had a complete breakdown and asked to see a therapist. I thought he was just being a normal moody teenager. Instead I found out a whole shitload of things that have been going on in his life that I new nothing about.

How did this happen? My husband and I are involved in our children's lives, we are active in their school, we eat dinner together--usually unless I have to work and then their father eats with them. His grades are A's in AP and honors classes. He has people he hangs out with-he doesn't think they are his friends.

So now I have 2 kids in therapy and a husband who should be.

I know "they" say a mother is not to blame, that there is nothing I did wrong, it's an illness just like a physical illness. I am a medical person, I understand that intellectually...

But I can't help thinking what did I do wrong? How can I turn back time and fix whatever happened.

I also know it's not about me. They, my children, need to do what they need to heal. I'll be here when they need me.

But what if they never need me? What if when my son turns 18 he walks out of my life forever like he says he will do? My heart will not be able to handle that. He's my boy.

I know..at least he asked to see a therapist. We didn't have to make him. He knows he needs help.

I just hope she can really help him.

 

[FurryFury]

Ecstaticsub,

I have some idea of how you feel. I also have two kids, both are in therapy and on meds. I was a very present parent. We also had dinner together as a family every night. I worked hard on sibling issues yet my son feels, and my daugther agrees that she abused him emotionally and this is part of why he has anxiety issues.

If I knew then, what I know now I might not have had my kids but rather adopted. All kids come with issues due to genetics is what I've come to understand. Kids are not tabula rasa as I previously thought.

But the level of mental illness in this generation seems higher and also the level of other illnesses. I have to believe some of it has to do with greater awareness and less of a stigma but some of it must come from the environment. What I mean by environment isn't us parents and the nurture we give them. I mean the tainted (processed, convenience, and fast) food so many of us eat, the pollution that has been growing with each generation and so on.

It natural to wonder, "What in the hell did I do?" Or "How did I not see and/or prevent this?" but the truth is, we did the best we could for our kids. We need to let the guilt go because it does us and our kids or anyone else absolutely no good at all.

*HUGS*

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I should have started reading this thread long ago.

Other than hormone related depression, both after child birth and as I am now in the midst of menopause I am relatively mentally healthy.

On the other hand my second child just had a complete breakdown and asked to see a therapist. I thought he was just being a normal moody teenager. Instead I found out a whole shitload of things that have been going on in his life that I new nothing about.

How did this happen? My husband and I are involved in our children's lives, we are active in their school, we eat dinner together--usually unless I have to work and then their father eats with them. His grades are A's in AP and honors classes. He has people he hangs out with-he doesn't think they are his friends.

So now I have 2 kids in therapy and a husband who should be.

I know "they" say a mother is not to blame, that there is nothing I did wrong, it's an illness just like a physical illness. I am a medical person, I understand that intellectually...

But I can't help thinking what did I do wrong? How can I turn back time and fix whatever happened.

I also know it's not about me. They, my children, need to do what they need to heal. I'll be here when they need me.

But what if they never need me? What if when my son turns 18 he walks out of my life forever like he says he will do? My heart will not be able to handle that. He's my boy.

I know..at least he asked to see a therapist. We didn't have to make him. He knows he needs help.

I just hope she can really help him.

Lemme say this. I'm retired and in my 60s. I practiced psychotherapy for many years, spent many years on the couch myself, and have a decent professional education.

After all is said and done I conclude that shit happens, shit comes from the factory damaged, and it takes a lot to fuck up a kid; they don't damage easily, and theyre expert manipulators about everything. Parental guilt is futile and wasted time on Earth.

Therapists are idgits, including me. Most aren't old enough or wise enough or combat experienced enough to have opinions about anything. For the last 20 years therapists are little more than Arthur Murray dance partners whose job is to keep you coming back, to get more of your money.

What people really profit from are: Good and loving friends, and disciplinary training. Life is one effing thing after another, and you either accept it and deal with it, or spend your life in a jail or coffin or at the crisis center. People do the right thing when they cant fuck-off.