HT Handle Step Daughter

[JoeDaisy25]

This is not a question of how to sleep with her. I’m asking for the female perspective on if I should talk to her or let it be.

Disclaimer: She’s in college but things got a little unusual before she left.

The first time I noticed anything was when she asked for help with something on her laptop. She sat beside me on the arm of the couch. Her laptop was on the leg furthest away. I reached for it and the back of my forearm brushed against the inside of her leg about mid thigh. She let out an audible gasp but she didn’t jerk away. I looked at her confused. Now whenever she asks for help, it’s almost like she purposely moves the laptop away so I can’t see. I don’t move to grab it because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

Second, her mother doesn’t believe in closing a door when she leaves it. By this I mean she leaves every door, be it closet, cabinet, bedroom, or bathroom open. Several times I’ve gotten out of the shower in the master bath, bathroom door closed, only to have the bedroom door open. I usually don’t make a fuss because the step daughter is nocturnal and when she’s home we hardly see her. Recently I’ve heard her walking around as I’m drying off only to look and see her slow walking past my door.

Third, at Christmas we had a large gathering. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen leading from the foyer. There are two ways to enter from the living room. The door I was in or walking through the dining room. The distance is the same, one path was blocked by me and the other wasn’t. She went through the doorway I was in, made full eye contact while pressing against me. My back was to her and she turned me before I could move away.

Fourth, she wears the running shorts as a staple of her wardrobe. I’ve commented several times that the way she was sitting was exposing her butt and to please sit appropriately when I had friends over. She sat beside me one night and moved her leg so that her whole cheek was exposed. I got up and found something else to do.

Lastly, it was just she and I at home one day. We didn’t see each other until she was walking out the door. After she left I went to my room and noticed a pair of red lace panties laying in front of her door. Door was closed. The panties did not appear to be dropped. They looked like she stopped in front of her door, pulled them down and stepped out of them. She had to have step over them as she was leaving. We were up and moving around the house. Her room is next to ours and I would have noticed anything unusual before. My suspicion about the intent was almost confirmed when my wife got dressed out of the laundry that was folded on the couch. She changed underwear and sure enough, they fell just like the red lace.

I have not approached her, her mother, or anyone else about this. I don’t know if I’m just imagining things or if she has a sexual curiosity.

What should I do? Talk to her or ignore? What would it do to her if I spoke with her mother and her mom confronted her? What would it do to her if I ignore her?

Thanks in advance!

 

[NightL]

Thank goodness she is far away from you while attending college. JoeDaisy25 you are going full creepo over this.
Here is a suggestion why don't you tell your wife of your imaginative infatuation of her daughter? You know, for that "female perspective" thing.

 

[JoeDaisy25]

Thank goodness she is far away from you while attending college. JoeDaisy25 you are going full creepo over this.
Here is a suggestion why don't you tell your wife of your imaginative infatuation of her daughter? You know, for that "female perspective" thing.

So what your saying is, continue to ignore her because it’s just my imagination. If I mention anything to her or her mother it will cause great embarrassment for all involved.

I asked for the female perspective because typically a man isn’t going to know how a teenage girl thinks. What will just be awkward or cause rejection issues? I know that when I was younger, I hung out with older kids, ~5 years older, and tried to date girls their age. Obviously there was rejection and it really did have an affect on my life.

If none of that means anything then fantastic, I don’t need to worry about anyones feelings.

Thanks for the feedback Karen! Little dramatic but I’ll take it.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Female perspective here: Stop imagining or reading more into these scenarios. Leave your stepdaughter alone. If you cannot, then leave the family to protect her from you. Your post is creepy as all get out. I had a creepy stepdad, too. I wish with all my heart I could go back in time and keep my mom from choosing him.

Quoted for posterity:

This is not a question of how to sleep with her. I’m asking for the female perspective on if I should talk to her or let it be.

Disclaimer: She’s in college but things got a little unusual before she left.

The first time I noticed anything was when she asked for help with something on her laptop. She sat beside me on the arm of the couch. Her laptop was on the leg furthest away. I reached for it and the back of my forearm brushed against the inside of her leg about mid thigh. She let out an audible gasp but she didn’t jerk away. I looked at her confused. Now whenever she asks for help, it’s almost like she purposely moves the laptop away so I can’t see. I don’t move to grab it because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

Second, her mother doesn’t believe in closing a door when she leaves it. By this I mean she leaves every door, be it closet, cabinet, bedroom, or bathroom open. Several times I’ve gotten out of the shower in the master bath, bathroom door closed, only to have the bedroom door open. I usually don’t make a fuss because the step daughter is nocturnal and when she’s home we hardly see her. Recently I’ve heard her walking around as I’m drying off only to look and see her slow walking past my door.

Third, at Christmas we had a large gathering. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen leading from the foyer. There are two ways to enter from the living room. The door I was in or walking through the dining room. The distance is the same, one path was blocked by me and the other wasn’t. She went through the doorway I was in, made full eye contact while pressing against me. My back was to her and she turned me before I could move away.

Fourth, she wears the running shorts as a staple of her wardrobe. I’ve commented several times that the way she was sitting was exposing her butt and to please sit appropriately when I had friends over. She sat beside me one night and moved her leg so that her whole cheek was exposed. I got up and found something else to do.

Lastly, it was just she and I at home one day. We didn’t see each other until she was walking out the door. After she left I went to my room and noticed a pair of red lace panties laying in front of her door. Door was closed. The panties did not appear to be dropped. They looked like she stopped in front of her door, pulled them down and stepped out of them. She had to have step over them as she was leaving. We were up and moving around the house. Her room is next to ours and I would have noticed anything unusual before. My suspicion about the intent was almost confirmed when my wife got dressed out of the laundry that was folded on the couch. She changed underwear and sure enough, they fell just like the red lace.

I have not approached her, her mother, or anyone else about this. I don’t know if I’m just imagining things or if she has a sexual curiosity.

What should I do? Talk to her or ignore? What would it do to her if I spoke with her mother and her mom confronted her? What would it do to her if I ignore her?

Thanks in advance!

 

[KatieDoes]

Female perspective:

Stop sexualizing your child. It’s creepy as fuck. She’s just existing, she’s not some manipulative temptress.

If your child can’t be comfortable and safe in shorts inside her own home when your friends come over, then don’t let your friends come over. If she can’t be comfortable and safe inside her own home when you’re there, then get the fuck out.

Teenagers can be messy. She didn’t leave her panties on the floor to seduce your creepy old ass. She left them on the floor because she’s inside her own fucking bedroom inside her own fucking house.

Be a grown ass fucking adult man.

For Fuck Sake.

 

[KatieDoes]

This is not a question of how to sleep with her. I’m asking for the female perspective on if I should talk to her or let it be.

Disclaimer: She’s in college but things got a little unusual before she left.

The first time I noticed anything was when she asked for help with something on her laptop. She sat beside me on the arm of the couch. Her laptop was on the leg furthest away. I reached for it and the back of my forearm brushed against the inside of her leg about mid thigh. She let out an audible gasp but she didn’t jerk away. I looked at her confused. Now whenever she asks for help, it’s almost like she purposely moves the laptop away so I can’t see. I don’t move to grab it because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

Second, her mother doesn’t believe in closing a door when she leaves it. By this I mean she leaves every door, be it closet, cabinet, bedroom, or bathroom open. Several times I’ve gotten out of the shower in the master bath, bathroom door closed, only to have the bedroom door open. I usually don’t make a fuss because the step daughter is nocturnal and when she’s home we hardly see her. Recently I’ve heard her walking around as I’m drying off only to look and see her slow walking past my door.

Third, at Christmas we had a large gathering. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen leading from the foyer. There are two ways to enter from the living room. The door I was in or walking through the dining room. The distance is the same, one path was blocked by me and the other wasn’t. She went through the doorway I was in, made full eye contact while pressing against me. My back was to her and she turned me before I could move away.

Fourth, she wears the running shorts as a staple of her wardrobe. I’ve commented several times that the way she was sitting was exposing her butt and to please sit appropriately when I had friends over. She sat beside me one night and moved her leg so that her whole cheek was exposed. I got up and found something else to do.

Lastly, it was just she and I at home one day. We didn’t see each other until she was walking out the door. After she left I went to my room and noticed a pair of red lace panties laying in front of her door. Door was closed. The panties did not appear to be dropped. They looked like she stopped in front of her door, pulled them down and stepped out of them. She had to have step over them as she was leaving. We were up and moving around the house. Her room is next to ours and I would have noticed anything unusual before. My suspicion about the intent was almost confirmed when my wife got dressed out of the laundry that was folded on the couch. She changed underwear and sure enough, they fell just like the red lace.

I have not approached her, her mother, or anyone else about this. I don’t know if I’m just imagining things or if she has a sexual curiosity.

What should I do? Talk to her or ignore? What would it do to her if I spoke with her mother and her mom confronted her? What would it do to her if I ignore her?

Thanks in advance!

Just for curiosity….. What exactly would you say if you were to ‘talk to her’ !?

Do you actually think that if you told your wife that you were sexualizing her child she would confront HER CHILD and tell her to stop.… stop doing what, exactly?

It is not the fault of women (or girls) when men objectify and sexualize them. It is not her fault that you think forearm contact among family members is sexually charged. It is not her fault that you think brushing against a family member in a doorway is a come on. It is not her fault that you are clearly having inappropriate thoughts and fantasies about her. That’s all you, and it’s not her responsibility to fix.

 

[JoeDaisy25]

Just for curiosity….. What exactly would you say if you were to ‘talk to her’ !?

Do you actually think that if you told your wife that you were sexualizing her child she would confront HER CHILD and tell her to stop.… stop doing what, exactly?

It is not the fault of women (or girls) when men objectify and sexualize them. It is not her fault that you think forearm contact among family members is sexually charged. It is not her fault that you think brushing against a family member in a doorway is a come on. It is not her fault that you are clearly having inappropriate thoughts and fantasies about her. That’s all you, and it’s not her responsibility to fix.

I don’t have a clue! Don’t even know if it’s worth mentioning and that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Is this an issue or not?

Clearly there has been a lack of communication on my part in the op. Maybe I can clear it up.

She is damn near 20. I’ve only known her for a little over 2 years. These things have all started in the last year. The underwear was OUTSIDE of her room in the hallway. I know the concept of the familial dynamic but am not an actual parent. The whole situation has made me uncomfortable in my home. But if the reality is that the behavior is normal and I am just a creepo then great! At least I know what to address.

I’ve read about similar situations in forums that are not as open/honest and the popular advice was to talk to the mother. I’m not comfortable doing that not knowing the reality of the situation.

 

[stickygirl]

Stay away from her - you're reading waay too much into the situation and you need a reality check. Nothing good can possibly come from this as others have already posted. I hope the advice you've been given has an impact. 20yrs old is still a kid and you're a grown ass man, so act like one.

 

[marriedbigrl]

Yes, you are being creepy. I'd say you've watched one too many step-daughter pron videos if you think any of those actions are desires or come-ons. No matter how old she is. Not to mention your wife will of course not be ok with it. I'm glad you seem willing to accept and address the fact that you are the problem in the situation though. Please do that!

I don’t have a clue! Don’t even know if it’s worth mentioning and that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Is this an issue or not?

Clearly there has been a lack of communication on my part in the op. Maybe I can clear it up.

She is damn near 20. I’ve only known her for a little over 2 years. These things have all started in the last year. The underwear was OUTSIDE of her room in the hallway. I know the concept of the familial dynamic but am not an actual parent. The whole situation has made me uncomfortable in my home. But if the reality is that the behavior is normal and I am just a creepo then great! At least I know what to address.

I’ve read about similar situations in forums that are not as open/honest and the popular advice was to talk to the mother. I’m not comfortable doing that not knowing the reality of the situation.

 

[ericalauren]

This is not a question of how to sleep with her. I’m asking for the female perspective on if I should talk to her or let it be.

Disclaimer: She’s in college but things got a little unusual before she left.

The first time I noticed anything was when she asked for help with something on her laptop. She sat beside me on the arm of the couch. Her laptop was on the leg furthest away. I reached for it and the back of my forearm brushed against the inside of her leg about mid thigh. She let out an audible gasp but she didn’t jerk away. I looked at her confused. Now whenever she asks for help, it’s almost like she purposely moves the laptop away so I can’t see. I don’t move to grab it because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

Second, her mother doesn’t believe in closing a door when she leaves it. By this I mean she leaves every door, be it closet, cabinet, bedroom, or bathroom open. Several times I’ve gotten out of the shower in the master bath, bathroom door closed, only to have the bedroom door open. I usually don’t make a fuss because the step daughter is nocturnal and when she’s home we hardly see her. Recently I’ve heard her walking around as I’m drying off only to look and see her slow walking past my door.

Third, at Christmas we had a large gathering. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen leading from the foyer. There are two ways to enter from the living room. The door I was in or walking through the dining room. The distance is the same, one path was blocked by me and the other wasn’t. She went through the doorway I was in, made full eye contact while pressing against me. My back was to her and she turned me before I could move away.

Fourth, she wears the running shorts as a staple of her wardrobe. I’ve commented several times that the way she was sitting was exposing her butt and to please sit appropriately when I had friends over. She sat beside me one night and moved her leg so that her whole cheek was exposed. I got up and found something else to do.

Lastly, it was just she and I at home one day. We didn’t see each other until she was walking out the door. After she left I went to my room and noticed a pair of red lace panties laying in front of her door. Door was closed. The panties did not appear to be dropped. They looked like she stopped in front of her door, pulled them down and stepped out of them. She had to have step over them as she was leaving. We were up and moving around the house. Her room is next to ours and I would have noticed anything unusual before. My suspicion about the intent was almost confirmed when my wife got dressed out of the laundry that was folded on the couch. She changed underwear and sure enough, they fell just like the red lace.

I have not approached her, her mother, or anyone else about this. I don’t know if I’m just imagining things or if she has a sexual curiosity.

What should I do? Talk to her or ignore? What would it do to her if I spoke with her mother and her mom confronted her? What would it do to her if I ignore her?

Thanks in advance!

This is the creepiest thing I’ve read all day. Stay away from your daughter, FFS.

 

[curioustxn]

This is not a question of how to sleep with her. I’m asking for the female perspective on if I should talk to her or let it be.

Disclaimer: She’s in college but things got a little unusual before she left.

The first time I noticed anything was when she asked for help with something on her laptop. She sat beside me on the arm of the couch. Her laptop was on the leg furthest away. I reached for it and the back of my forearm brushed against the inside of her leg about mid thigh. She let out an audible gasp but she didn’t jerk away. I looked at her confused. Now whenever she asks for help, it’s almost like she purposely moves the laptop away so I can’t see. I don’t move to grab it because I don’t want to give the wrong impression.

Second, her mother doesn’t believe in closing a door when she leaves it. By this I mean she leaves every door, be it closet, cabinet, bedroom, or bathroom open. Several times I’ve gotten out of the shower in the master bath, bathroom door closed, only to have the bedroom door open. I usually don’t make a fuss because the step daughter is nocturnal and when she’s home we hardly see her. Recently I’ve heard her walking around as I’m drying off only to look and see her slow walking past my door.

Third, at Christmas we had a large gathering. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen leading from the foyer. There are two ways to enter from the living room. The door I was in or walking through the dining room. The distance is the same, one path was blocked by me and the other wasn’t. She went through the doorway I was in, made full eye contact while pressing against me. My back was to her and she turned me before I could move away.

Fourth, she wears the running shorts as a staple of her wardrobe. I’ve commented several times that the way she was sitting was exposing her butt and to please sit appropriately when I had friends over. She sat beside me one night and moved her leg so that her whole cheek was exposed. I got up and found something else to do.

Lastly, it was just she and I at home one day. We didn’t see each other until she was walking out the door. After she left I went to my room and noticed a pair of red lace panties laying in front of her door. Door was closed. The panties did not appear to be dropped. They looked like she stopped in front of her door, pulled them down and stepped out of them. She had to have step over them as she was leaving. We were up and moving around the house. Her room is next to ours and I would have noticed anything unusual before. My suspicion about the intent was almost confirmed when my wife got dressed out of the laundry that was folded on the couch. She changed underwear and sure enough, they fell just like the red lace.

I have not approached her, her mother, or anyone else about this. I don’t know if I’m just imagining things or if she has a sexual curiosity.

What should I do? Talk to her or ignore? What would it do to her if I spoke with her mother and her mom confronted her? What would it do to her if I ignore her?

Thanks in advance!

The question is: What do you want to do? Make her stop, or take her to bed?

If you want her to stop, then have a private conversation with her, and tell her that you love her, and her flirting makes you feel special, but since she is your step-daughter, you don't think either of you should carry this any farther. Don't make her feel rejected, just let her know the rules of the house.

If you want to take her to bed, ask yourself what your wife would do if she found out!

If you don't want to take her to bed, and you have that conversation, there is no need that her mother should ever know.

If you want the take her to bed, then you have a decision to make..........

There are not many options here.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Female perspective:

Stop sexualizing your child. It’s creepy as fuck. She’s just existing, she’s not some manipulative temptress.

Totally this.

 

[curioustxn]

Someone needs to point out, the OP said she is damn near 20 years old, and in college. I suspect she knows exactly what shes doing.

Hardly a child!

 

[KatieDoes]

Someone needs to point out, the OP said she is damn near 20 years old, and in college. I suspect she knows exactly what shes doing.

Hardly a child!

Look… I know porn would have you believe it… but 20 year old young women aren’t hot for the creepy old man that their mom married This guy is stretching so far he’s going to pull a muscle.


Regardless, there’s a power dynamic at play with a parent figure and a young adult that would prevent anyone that isn’t a gross creepy asshole from making a move on their wife’s kid, even if she’s technically legal.

 

[stickygirl]

Someone needs to point out, the OP said she is damn near 20 years old, and in college. I suspect she knows exactly what shes doing.

Hardly a child!

The OP also asked for advice. He's got it.