How to Tell My Sister...

[brickZ52]

Looking for REAL advice.... Ive always had a thing for my sister, three years older than me (I am a 33 M) and gorgeous. Out of fear for rejection, I could never blurt it out but something very deep down tells me theres a chance she might be open to it... We have always been close, but now we live far enough away that I only see her a handful of times during the year. I want her so bad and need advice on how to get my message accross, however that might be! Looking for guidance from those with experience, or just advice in general. How would you approach the situation and what do you think I can do to get a reaction out of her, not to make her say yes, but to simply consider it and ponder about the possibilities....?

If you don’t have anything nice to say, just move along! The LIT community is very diverse and if I have posted in the wrong forum, please let me know where to move to.

Thanks all!
Greg

 

[carln3346]

sent a PM about this - hot topic

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I think some things, like this, are much safer left in the realm of fantasy. Would you consider it worth the risk if it negatively affected your relationship with her forever?

 

[pornochic]

Definitely best left to fantasy, BUT it might be cool to share some erotic internet stuff with her and see how she responds. Maybe just some innocent erotic art? ~

 

[brickZ52]

How about texting her something pornographic and then acting like I sent it to the wrong person? Then it seems as if I am “caught” and she then makes a decision if she likes it or not....?

 

[jerrythelad]

Do you ever have time together one on one, maybee have dinner together with plenty of wine, later on when you both are relaxed tell her she is just as attractive as when you were teens etc. see how she responds.

 

[brickZ52]

Do you ever have time together one on one, maybee have dinner together with plenty of wine, later on when you both are relaxed tell her she is just as attractive as when you were teens etc. see how she responds.

I only see her during the holidays and family events and unfortunately, she is not a drinker..

 

[yukonnights]

I only see her during the holidays and family events and unfortunately, she is not a drinker..

I really think you need to share a little more about your overall relationship before anyone can offer any meaningful suggestions. Do you talk about intimate things? Is she adventurous or reserved? Can you send erotic stories and such to her?

 

[Darlene44d]

Why not start more emails , Facebook messages or whichever method you normally use to communicate, slowly get into more intimate discussions about yours and hers current love life. Offer support and advice and them add something like "you know you always got me so hot when we were teens". See how she responds, hopefully she will laugh about it, saying she teased you... I have a younger brother and i used to tease him , walking around in my underwear etc.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

First...

Are you married or in a relationship? Is she married or in a relationship?

Second...

If either answer to the questions above are true... Leave it alone.

IF she is in a relationship and you aren't... leave it alone.

If neither of you are married or in a relationship... leave it alone as you two really have no future together and if you really love her, you wouldn't want just a one night stand. Would you? Even if you could "Live Together" you would be cast our of the family you now enjoy. Think about it very carefully.

 

[brickZ52]

Why not start more emails , Facebook messages or whichever method you normally use to communicate, slowly get into more intimate discussions about yours and hers current love life. Offer support and advice and them add something like "you know you always got me so hot when we were teens". See how she responds, hopefully she will laugh about it, saying she teased you... I have a younger brother and i used to tease him , walking around in my underwear etc.

Teasing is very hot! She never did that for me but I used to steal her dirty panties and have my way with them

First...

Are you married or in a relationship? Is she married or in a relationship?

Second...

If either answer to the questions above are true... Leave it alone.

IF she is in a relationship and you aren't... leave it alone.

If neither of you are married or in a relationship... leave it alone as you two really have no future together and if you really love her, you wouldn't want just a one night stand. Would you? Even if you could "Live Together" you would be cast our of the family you now enjoy. Think about it very carefully.

I think youre jumping ahead. This is mainly about letting her know my feelings not so much being a homewrecker. To answer your question, yes we are both in relationships neither one of us are married. I wouldnt be looking to develop a relationship where we end up making a life together its more about fulfilling this insane fantasy, even if it’s just a one time thing. Just knowing she would be into it
would satisfy half of my desires!

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Teasing is very hot! She never did that for me but I used to steal her dirty panties and have my way with them


I think youre jumping ahead. This is mainly about letting her know my feelings not so much being a homewrecker. To answer your question, yes we are both in relationships neither one of us are married. I wouldnt be looking to develop a relationship where we end up making a life together its more about fulfilling this insane fantasy, even if it’s just a one time thing. Just knowing she would be into it
would satisfy half of my desires!

Still, think about what you want to do very carefully. You could loose your sister and some of your family.

 

[Jada59]

Leave it in the fantasy realm. Seriously!

 

[PapaDan]

If she is interested in being anything other than your sister, she will let you know. My advice is, don't screw up what you have. Some screw ups can't be fixed, and this is likely one of them.

 

[SimonDoom]

This sounds fraught with danger and risk for you and your relationship with your sister and with others, but, assuming you know that already and are interested in "how to" advice to move this forward anyway . . .

Sounds like you need to find an opportunity to be alone with your sister. You see her only during holidays and family events, so it's not like you're just going to look at her across the holiday dinner table with everyone around and say, "So, sis, how about we give it a go?"

Find a way to do something just with her that makes her comfortable, AND where you have a chance to talk. I have no idea how you bring up this subject. There's a risk she would be repelled.

I don't recommend making an actual move until and unless you've tried to talk about it somehow, first.

Somehow, start a conversation about your relationship. Move it in the direction you want, but do it gingerly. Test the waters. See how she responds. Don't force it.

You could tell her you've started writing, and when she asks what tell her erotic stories and then divulge that you've written brother-sister stories (I don't know if this is true, but if not you could write such a story and make it true). See how she responds.

 

[tnhardon]

Teasing is very hot! She never did that for me but I used to steal her dirty panties and have my way with them


I think youre jumping ahead. This is mainly about letting her know my feelings not so much being a homewrecker. To answer your question, yes we are both in relationships neither one of us are married. I wouldnt be looking to develop a relationship where we end up making a life together its more about fulfilling this insane fantasy, even if it’s just a one time thing. Just knowing she would be into it
would satisfy half of my desires!

As someone else said, while it is a fun fantasy, some things must stay in the fantasy world. At this point in your life especially, it isn’t worth permanently ruining a relationship with your sister for what you describe as “just a one time thing.”

I understand how it is possible to talk yourself into this being a good idea. It isn’t. Think with the right head.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Think with the right head.

Perfectly put!

I’ll add my agreement with a bunch of other previous posters. Bad idea!

However popular it may be as a fantasy, incest in IRL generally involves both force and a serious power imbalance, such as a father or uncle or older brother molesting a young girl. IRL, with real people, the odds of your sister being interested in having sex with you is about the same as Donald Trump being the keynote speaker at the Democratic Party national convention in Milwaukee this summer. It’s not 100% impossible, but do the math...

The odds are overwhelmingly in favour of your sister freaking out, thereby costing you not only your sister, but every other relative and mutual friend too, ‘cause she’s going to go absolutely apeshit public about ‘my $@%&+€§&$!! twisted perv of a brother’. On Facebook - have a nice life.

Fantasize all you want, but no. Not judging you, honestly, but this idea is 14 layers of bad news coming.

 

[davion2308]

Simple: Don't

It's a fun fantasy to think about because you two have an emotional connection and probably a good relationship.

But, simply put, if you actually try this, you'll almost 100% end up destroying the relationship, make her second-guess her entire life with you has her brother, and ruin probably a happy well-grounded element of her life by removing yourself as a family member.

She'll never talk with you again is the outcome here. And in the .00001% she is actually going to go for it too isn't worth the overwhelming odds of wrecking something that brings both of you joy.

Unless you simply cannot go on without having a romantic relationship with her. In that case, cut all ties.

There's your real advice. Good luck!

 

[GuessImJamie]

First I'll tell you my background and why I think I am qualified... Not to give advice but to toss out ideas and questions that you have to mull over iiternally. I am a grandmother who has been in a stable poly relationship for 5 decades. Four of my lovers are biologically related to one another and I am the adopted sibling of the brother-sister pair. (The other pair is two sisters.)

Through 66 years of life, I am familiar with many affinity and familiar (biological and otherwise) relationships that evolved into stable long term relationships. I am also familiar with far more transitional relationships where siblings and cousins taught one as another in a safe loving environment, but the participants chose to move on to more traditionally accepted partners.

I'll leave those transitional ones out. If you were lovers, or intimate without quite ever going that last step, you likely either already know better than anyone else how to proceed, or you have a good idea that proceeding is a fruitless endeavor.

I'll also assume that both of you are emotionally and ethically in a position to have a relationship with one another. From my point of view that means not having other lovers who would be hurt my your relationship. That doesnt necessarily mean single, relationships are personal things. One or both of you might have lovers who would be open to this sort of thing. But you need to make sure with them first.

Familiar relationships are incredibly strong (ps - strong is not the synonym of good), but they take a lifetime to develop. In order for me, or someone else like me, to want to take a step with so many known costs...

And society at large will impose a tremendous cost if they find out. You can, or maybe could - media is getting worse each year - hide your relationship from the public at large. We know a couple who lived 60 years as husband and wife until he sadly passed away. Only with social security and veterans benefits and stories in the local paper like "John Smith WW2 Vet Passes" did it become known they were brother-sister.

So maybe you can hide it from society, if you have a typical family they will figure it out. Ours did the second time we all moved somewhere together. How will they react? If your bond with one another is strong and they aren't fanatically opposed they may decide to live with it. If your bond is weak and being established any weight they might choose to bring to bear will be devastating. Be prepared as the male to have all the blame levied at you as the instigator.

I know that you are male because there are so many more avenues available to sisters to have long deep meaningful conversations about gender, identity, social and family expectations, romance, and of course sex. In some families brothers and sisters have a bond and are this open with one another, but if you were in this group you wouldn't be asking.

Everyone is different, for me I would not respond to a "strangers" desire for intimacy. My adoptive sister and I had long talks about what we both wanted out of life, where we saw ourselves down the road. About the numbskulls that surrounded us and our older brother. About the inadequacy of his girlfriends. About our first sisterly and platonic love for each other and him.

Girls talk, a lot. A whole lot. There were roughly 66,345,345 opportunities given for either one of us to say that we were, or were not, interested in exploring the next logical step.

It's an elephant, you eat an elephant one bite at a time, if you swallow a dehydrated elephant it expands and rips you apart, leaving you begging for death. But if that elephant wants to be eaten it can be very, very (ful)filling. I'm not saying stop, I'm not saying go, I'm saying assess. If its sexual fantasy, leave it at that and have her in your dreams. If its curiosity, well that's probably best left at the minimum age LitE accepts stories.

It has a great cost associated with it, so do Manhattan apartments and a million people enjoy living there, because in thier opinion it is worth the cost (even if they complain about it).

If you are serious and have a tight relationship and think she might feel the same way, start slower than slow and completely non-sexually. Take baby steps to build your relationship and make it better and stronger. Look for her feedback and respect it. If you are older and were never intimate chances are strongest you never will be. But whatever happens it cant be bad to be closer, so long as you stop if she wants you to. Heck she might just need to go slower.

Tons of work, low probability of living in Mahattan as husband and wife, but who knows. I'm wrong a lot.

My $0.02 worth,

 

[Dandum1570]

How about a nice hand written note.

 

[JustJonah]

Ah, sisters!

Looking for REAL advice.... Ive always had a thing for my sister, three years older than me (I am a 33 M) and gorgeous. Out of fear for rejection, I could never blurt it out but something very deep down tells me theres a chance she might be open to it... We have always been close, but now we live far enough away that I only see her a handful of times during the year. I want her so bad and need advice on how to get my message accross, however that might be! Looking for guidance from those with experience, or just advice in general. How would you approach the situation and what do you think I can do to get a reaction out of her, not to make her say yes, but to simply consider it and ponder about the possibilities....?

If you don’t have anything nice to say, just move along! The LIT community is very diverse and if I have posted in the wrong forum, please let me know where to move to.

Thanks all!
Greg

I didn't have romantic interests in my sisters, but some physical attraction. Was fun for me, on one hand, but became tough to manage and wasn't reciprocated and even got dicey for me. More fun to think about in fantasy, unless you are closer emotionally than you seem to be. Happy to chat more if you are interested.

 

[LWulf]

On one hand, you have a potential for success. On the other hand, you run the risk of alienating yourself from not just your sister, but your entire family. Even if successful, the rest of your family might still alienate you two.

Is the erotic idea worth that risk? Hell, most intimate relationships don't last that long. What if she agrees, only to find you're a lousy fuck? Have you considered that potential issue?

I'd have to agree with those who said "don't." I think you should stop looking at the potentiality with rose colored glasses.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Given you have admitted that you would be happy to just have a one-time fling with her means that your desire for her is sexual/lust. It is a sexual fantasy - as so many others have said, leave it there. Read some brother-sister incest stories on Lit, write your own story of how you imagine you and your sister will connect, watch some incest porn - but leave your sister alone...

 

[GuessImJamie]

Looking for REAL advice.... Ive always had a thing for my sister, three years older than me (I am a 33 M) and gorgeous. Out of fear for rejection, I could never blurt it out but something very deep down tells me theres a chance she might be open to it... We have always been close, but now we live far enough away that I only see her a handful of times during the year. I want her so bad and need advice on how to get my message accross, however that might be! Looking for guidance from those with experience, or just advice in general. How would you approach the situation and what do you think I can do to get a reaction out of her, not to make her say yes, but to simply consider it and ponder about the possibilities....

Sometimes the questions here are like a Rorschach test, each respondent reading in from thier experience what wasn't said.

I don't see a desire for a one-night stand. I see DESIRE for more, but UNCERTAINTY on how to COMMUNICATE and acknowledgement that it must be done TACTFULLY with sister being the one to decide if it's more than a moment of open sharing between people who love one another. Something that truly is OPs COMPLIMENT to her even if she is not interested.

 

[LoveLiving]

Sometimes the questions here are like a Rorschach test, each respondent reading in from thier experience what wasn't said.

I don't see a desire for a one-night stand. I see DESIRE for more, but UNCERTAINTY on how to COMMUNICATE and acknowledgement that it must be done TACTFULLY with sister being the one to decide if it's more than a moment of open sharing between people who love one another. Something that truly is OPs COMPLIMENT to her even if she is not interested.

All I can suggest is to arrange for her to find you jerking off with her panties. You will find out immediately.