Hello,
I am a 44 year old male and have been with two women in my life. The second one I married and even though she cheated on me and we stopped having a sexual relationship 10 years ago I never left her, or cheated on her with anyone.
She became sick in 2010 and bed bound in 2011 and I took care of her 24/7 (while working when she was healthy enough for me to be gone more then 15 minutes).
It was never worth it to me to leave her and hurt her (Even before she became sick) just so I could be happy.
She passed away a few months ago, and now I am re-evaluating my life. Last thing you would think I would want is to get in another relationship, but I didn't really have one (I did everything, and just took care of her, so it was not really a marriage, but just me taking care of her).
I really always wanted to have a real relationship and kids etc, but by the time I was 40 I figured it was too late and would never happen.
Now I have that option, but I'm scared to get trapped in another relationship as well. Also I have been self pleasuring for years and I realize I would like a more dominant woman, and one that would actually pursue me, more then being pursued by me (which is how I got involved with my wife).
So now I'm just all kinds of confused and frustrated as I don't know what to do. I am not interested in guys, which might actually have some people who would pursue me and more likely be more dominant, but at the same time I'm not comfortable hitting on women etc.
I feel like if I am going to meet anyone it has to be soon as I am getting very old. I don't think kids are really an option anymore unless she already has them (Which would be great).
So any advice on how I even start trying to find someone would be appreciated. I don't have any hope it's going to happen naturally.
Thanks
I am a 44 year old male and have been with two women in my life. The second one I married and even though she cheated on me and we stopped having a sexual relationship 10 years ago I never left her, or cheated on her with anyone.
She became sick in 2010 and bed bound in 2011 and I took care of her 24/7 (while working when she was healthy enough for me to be gone more then 15 minutes).
It was never worth it to me to leave her and hurt her (Even before she became sick) just so I could be happy.
She passed away a few months ago, and now I am re-evaluating my life. Last thing you would think I would want is to get in another relationship, but I didn't really have one (I did everything, and just took care of her, so it was not really a marriage, but just me taking care of her).
I really always wanted to have a real relationship and kids etc, but by the time I was 40 I figured it was too late and would never happen.
Now I have that option, but I'm scared to get trapped in another relationship as well. Also I have been self pleasuring for years and I realize I would like a more dominant woman, and one that would actually pursue me, more then being pursued by me (which is how I got involved with my wife).
So now I'm just all kinds of confused and frustrated as I don't know what to do. I am not interested in guys, which might actually have some people who would pursue me and more likely be more dominant, but at the same time I'm not comfortable hitting on women etc.
I feel like if I am going to meet anyone it has to be soon as I am getting very old. I don't think kids are really an option anymore unless she already has them (Which would be great).
So any advice on how I even start trying to find someone would be appreciated. I don't have any hope it's going to happen naturally.
Thanks