Erectile dysfunction advice needed

[Trubbycat]

I’m not old (60) but I’ve been in a sexless marriage for several years and I’m pretty depressed about it. I’ve been drinking more than I should and am also on blood pressure meds so what was once a fierce erection is almost nonexistent. I’ve reached the point where I might want to step out but this condition has really shattered my confidence. Even masturbating is difficult. I’ll be seeing my MD in a month or so and I’ll bring it up with him. In the meantime I’m considering getting some toys but am unsure what to get (Prostate toys? Rings?). I’m also considering trying an erotic massage to see if that could get things going. Any thoughts on the subject are greatly appreciated.

 

[IrisAlthea]

You might not want to hear this, but the single most effective thing to do, is cutting way back on the drinking or quitting altogether if that is easier.

Second most effective (and less drinking will help with this too) is trying to get your blood pressure down so you don’t need the meds/less meds/different meds.
That means working on finding better ways to handle stress, getting enough exercise (will help with the stress too), and eating well.
Your doctor might be able to help with finding meds that work better for you but being able to keep a healty blood pressure on your own is better, because erections are essentially blood pressure.

Toys and what not can feel good, but it doesn’t sound like your problems are due to a lack of interest.
Rings and pumps might help with erection, but it’s more of a work around than a fix.

 

[NightL]

So what happened the last time you stopped drinking, adjusted your diet and went on an instructed exercise regime?

Toys won't make you feel better. Erotic massage will not address your drinking, depression or blood pressure.

60 is not too old to get yourself in shape - give it a try.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

This thing was advertised on the Weather Channel of all places!

They claim to be based in medical research so it may be worth a try. Pricey I know. You’ll have people come on and say you can get the same results with a cheaper ________.

Good advice above BTW. Reduce stress, don’t drink, smoke, blah blah blah. All the things you already know you should/shouldn’t be doing. All true and good advice but a ring can be an intermediate fix between getting in shape. It might not be a long term solution though.

 

[PabloTab]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear your story and I'm pretty much in the same situation. I have tried quite a few toys and I'd gladly give you my thoughts on them. There is one I would definitely recommend - I think it's called Pulse. If you DM me I'll let you know what I've tried.

 

[Mom_nxtdoor]

So maybe you respond to slow burn sensual erotica

 

[PabloTab]

So maybe you respond to slow burn sensual erotica

Well, I'm not sure about the OP but I certainly do. So I usually try to build up the arousal over a day or so and I find then that my 'release' is stronger. It doesn't get around my lack of hardness - but using the Pulse I generally do get a release.

 

[Mom_nxtdoor]

I am so glad you can get a good release!

 

[Trubbycat]

So maybe you respond to slow burn sensual erotica

I still get turned on and want to have release. I feel like my balls are full but the dick isn't working. I did manage to have a good wanking session watching porn last week and that made me happy. Before that I can't remember the last time I came.

 

[PabloTab]

I still get turned on and want to have release. I feel like my balls are full but the dick isn't working. I did manage to have a good wanking session watching porn last week and that made me happy. Before that I can't remember the last time I came.

Yeah I know what you mean. Speaking for myself, sometimes the build up makes it all the better (almost like edging - but mentally). It's tempting to just wank once you get horny, but if you can stop yourself for a day or so - but still fantasise about what you're going to think about when you do wank - then it will be better. But get yourself a Pulse and you won't go wrong.

 

[Trubbycat]

Yeah I know what you mean. Speaking for myself, sometimes the build up makes it all the better (almost like edging - but mentally). It's tempting to just wank once you get horny, but if you can stop yourself for a day or so - but still fantasise about what you're going to think about when you do wank - then it will be better. But get yourself a Pulse and you won't go wrong.

Please PM, curious

 

[Britva415]

Yeah I know what you mean. Speaking for myself, sometimes the build up makes it all the better (almost like edging - but mentally). It's tempting to just wank once you get horny, but if you can stop yourself for a day or so - but still fantasise about what you're going to think about when you do wank - then it will be better. But get yourself a Pulse and you won't go wrong.

Yeah, totally.

I feel like my balls are full but the dick isn't working.

It doesn't have to be slow-burn.

But taking breaks, not just from the wanking but from the porn, erotica, fantasizing, the whole thing, revs things up once you get back to it after some time off.

How much time?

I mean, start easy. However much time is between wank-attempts now, double it just for starters. I doubt it will have much effect, so triple it, and so on.

Spend at least a month experimenting with this. Sure, maybe it means you'll only even try to masturbate a few times during the whole month, but you might find that when you do, it's much more satisfying.

 

[davion2308]

I think there are three things that can help.

First, cut the drinking way down. Less alcohol means a lower blood pressure (usually) and often a better mental headspace. Your body will react and you'll feel simply better when you don't drink nearly as much.

Second, get more exercise. It's that simple. Your body is meant to be active, you're meant to be out there, even at 60, moving and walking and doing things. Sitting and sedentary life is killing all of us and getting more fitness and staying more active will improve not only your blood pressure and health but your erections.

Third, try cutting out all porn and sexual media for a week. Go one full week without any porn, without reading stories, without trying to touch yourself. See if that helps you react better? There's plenty of research out there related to porn-induced ED and all the exposure is a great way to kill boners.

Lastly, see what your doc says. good luck!

 

[FireEmsGirl513]

I’m not old (60) but I’ve been in a sexless marriage for several years and I’m pretty depressed about it. I’ve been drinking more than I should and am also on blood pressure meds so what was once a fierce erection is almost nonexistent. I’ve reached the point where I might want to step out but this condition has really shattered my confidence. Even masturbating is difficult. I’ll be seeing my MD in a month or so and I’ll bring it up with him. In the meantime I’m considering getting some toys but am unsure what to get (Prostate toys? Rings?). I’m also considering trying an erotic massage to see if that could get things going. Any thoughts on the subject are greatly appreciated.

Get your testosterone checked.

 

[Dapperguy]

There is a natural Chinese remedy for ED. My friend was in a terrible RTA that left him with no confidence in his abilities, including his libido. He tried all sorts of pharmaceuticals, without success. He spoke to his doc, who was comfortable with non-pharmaceutical medicines. He suggest him going to licenced Chinese natural practitioner. He received a greyish/black powder with green granules. He administered this substance orally and in about 10 days, his genital dysfunction and his holistic dysfunctions had subsided. He now when he feels down, he takes more of this Chinese substance. It is not cheap in the UK, but if it works for you, it's worth it. I hope you get sorted soon. Cheers.

 

[BondageHumor]

Speak to your doctor in detail. An erection is essentially hydrolic powered from blood flow. You have high blood pressure which stresses your system and makes it harder to direct more pressure to that organ. You're on blood pressure meds which are trying to lower that pressure and can also make erections more difficult. You are also on the high side of 50 and likely have low testosterone levels. You probably are also overweight and don't get much exercise.

Change in diet, more exercise (even just a long walk after dinner), change in medication, etc will probably do wonders.

As for toys, a pump will help draw in blood flow and a rubber cock ring will help maintain it. Don't get metal, unless you want a trip to the ER to have it removed. Don't overdo either one. Purple is not a healthy color.

 

[DrHappy]

The blood pressure meds can prevent erections, but it's reversible. Stop the meds and the erections may come back. However, high blood pressure can cause irreversible ED due to damage to the blood vessels, so you don't want to eliminate the blood pressure meds. As others have suggested, lose some weight and you may not need the blood pressure meds. Eliminating alcohol will definitely help.

There is a beta blocker called Bystolic that isn't supposed to cause ED problems. However, it can be pricy and not all insurance companies will cover it. If you are meeting with your doctor, it's probably worth mentioning.

I have found that prostate stimulation can make achieving an orgasm easier, so that may be worth pursuing. An Aneros toy isn't cheap, but it's not expensive when you compare it to medications.

 

[comegently]

Have you tried Viagra?
That seems so obvious I hesitate to suggest it.
Pretty effective in many cases.

 

[SteveO_79]

In my experience, the doctor didn't help and I don't think a lot of general doctors don't have the know-how to truly diagnose the issue. I think for a lot of men it's porn. There is a condition called PIED, Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Basically, someone who has this can only get erections to porn no matter the woman he is with. Even people with this can become dependent on a particular type of porn. For example, they get more of a rush from Cam girls vs normal porn. So they won't be able to get an erection to normal porn but will from cams. In my experience even if you get on medications for ED it still won't fix the issue. It's an issue with the brain, not the body. If you think this is something you think you have do some research on the subject. It's not an easy thing to beat, i struggle every day. But i keep telling myself that once I re-program myself it will all be worth it.

 

[bone251]

I’m not old (60) but I’ve been in a sexless marriage for several years and I’m pretty depressed about it. I’ve been drinking more than I should and am also on blood pressure meds so what was once a fierce erection is almost nonexistent. I’ve reached the point where I might want to step out but this condition has really shattered my confidence. Even masturbating is difficult. I’ll be seeing my MD in a month or so and I’ll bring it up with him. In the meantime I’m considering getting some toys but am unsure what to get (Prostate toys? Rings?). I’m also considering trying an erotic massage to see if that could get things going. Any thoughts on the subject are greatly appreciated.

I get my ED meds from a compound pharmacy.
University Compounding Pharmacy 248/267-5002 6054 Livernois Troy Michigan
I use Mega quad-mix. There are several other formulas. This one is strong.
You need to see a Urologist that will prescribe injectable ED meds.
Yes, you have to stick a needle in your dick. It is not that bad and worth it.
My ED is quite bad because of health issues. I also use a rubber o ring as a tourniquet. There is a tourniquet that goes around just the dick put out by the medical profession. I prefer using an O ring that goes around balls and dick. Go to the hardware store and get O rings. They have all kinds of sizes so you can just buy one of each size and try them. They are about a $1 each.
Be patient and get it all figured out and then you will have a dependable erection like you are a teenager.

 

[Zaphrod]

I'm close to 70 and also have ED but it is from surgery for prostate cancer. Some of what I've found so far:

• Stop the booze. Everything I read has this near the top of the list
• Get in shape. No it is not easy but I have a gash in my guts and if I can work on it so can you. It should also help with the blood pressure.
• Seek out councelling for yourself at least, hopefully with your partner but see an objective trained person who can help. And don't listen to any of that "it's not manly" whiny crap. I was a fire fighter for 30 years, a logger before that and a paratroooper before that, so I believe my "mancard" (a stupid term) is full and I am talking to someone. If you don't, the bullshit just keeps richocheting around inside your head making it worse.
• Stop eating crap. I don't like having to give up my midnight snacks and some foods but you have to. I'm not saying go vegan or anything but it is a simple case of garbage in, garbage out. See a dietician if neccessay
• Ask your Dr if a physiotherapist might help. I know Kegel exercises etc are on my list for bladder control but I believe they also help with some of the ED issue.
• Viagra etc can help but I would not treat them as a cure all, you have to work on the other things.
• Pumps can help for sure but you have to know how to use them, Again ask your Dr but I'd avoid the sexshop ones. I may have to get one but it will be "medical grade"( if that is the term) and will be a few hundred $. Look on YouTube for "A touchy subject" ( https://www.youtube.com/@ATouchySubject ) they have a video or two on selection and use of pumps.
• Cock rings. Fine to use up but beware of getting the wrong one, You want one that fits properly and is easy to remove. You don't want to have to make a trip to emerge to have it cut off .
• It is fine to look for advice/info online but I would rather talk to educated experienced professionals than bubba who had a friend who knew a guy who saw a thing..... on the net.

Not trying to scare you with some of this but man, you have to treat the entire picture. And besides, we're in our 60's. We don't bounce back like we did when were 23 - it takes work getting old

Good luck with it.

 

[akatrex]

I gave up alcohol years ago and Boom Shaka Laka the bride had to resort to the Bed Snake Bat.

A healthy Diet and Exercise cure many ills! High Blood pressure, STRESS, and more.

I hit the gym 3 - 4 times a week and walk on a treadmill for 30 minutes 3-4 days a well.
The treadmill/recumbent bike/rowing machine/walking is the ticket to relieve STRESS!
A set of headphones and cardio and you're on your way.

in my 60+s and I drive my Bride Crazy.

 

[Dapperguy]

Excellent! Most men would like your regime. Keep it up, old boy.

 

[Nightspeed]

My ED started in 2010, literally overnight. I jerked off one night before going to sleep and everything was normal. The next night, I couldn't get an erection. Nor the night after. Since then I've had maybe five honest to gosh, full on erections.

I don't drink, I've spoken to my doctors, I've tried all of the prescription meds for it, nothing. I can still orgasm and sometimes get about half hard, but not enough for intercourse anymore. I dated someone for 8 years and I learned to compensate with lips, tongue, and hands and we had a great sex life all during that time. But to be able to get hard again would be absolutely amazing.

 

[bone251]

My ED started in 2010, literally overnight. I jerked off one night before going to sleep and everything was normal. The next night, I couldn't get an erection. Nor the night after. Since then I've had maybe five honest to gosh, full on erections.

I don't drink, I've spoken to my doctors, I've tried all of the prescription meds for it, nothing. I can still orgasm and sometimes get about half hard, but not enough for intercourse anymore. I dated someone for 8 years and I learned to compensate with lips, tongue, and hands and we had a great sex life all during that time. But to be able to get hard again would be absolutely amazing.

Please see post # 20.