I think my marriage just imploded...

Well.

I suppose the first thing I should tell you is that you are not Alone. While I have lived a great deal of your story I have listened to it many times in real life so I am just going to list a few things I am thinking.

Chances are the two of you are not going to make it. God knows you both need counseling ...make that therapy! and lots of it.

You can't count on her changing...ever. What you CAN do is is help yourself.
Two less than emotionally whole people cannot have a completely healthy happy relationship. You can have one that varies on the bad side of the healthy/emotional scale but once you understand what such an relationship does to people few people are willing to pay the price for that!

I am not.

You my man are in a toxic,unhealthy relationship. When and if you get yourself balanced and centered and redevelop boundaries assuming you had enough of them to have a happy relationship to start with you may well get divorced anyway. It runs about 50-70% in these cases.

Get help and if you have to start over just remember that few people get or take the chance to start over and do it right. It will take awhile but than ...Ya got something better to do?

or you can be a heartsick, depressed and miserable, not living the life everyone deserves married or single.
 
Your initial reply was most probably the best. I mean that.



You don't say...

Mine in you went further south. A lot south. But, my opinion doesn't count. Nor yours in him, that's for sure.



Nice going everyone!
Fucking morons.
I know you'll never get bored of being wrong, but him acknowledgement that his behaviour is abusive, instead of denying and justifying, is a good thing.

Most people won't admit when they're in the wrong. :rolleyes:
 
Most likely it was someone's freshman Lit 101 essay. But hey, I've seen worse. :)
 
And, importantly don't ask anything on the General Board! This is where the trolls live.

Hello. Welcome to the Fun House.


We do have some fugly Trolls but as you can see in this thread sometimes (but don't tell too many 'cos the GB has a reputation to keep) there is helpful advice or an ear or three is lent to someone in need.

It's like finding a sixpence in granny's barely edible Christmas pudding. :)
 
I know you'll never get bored of being wrong, but him acknowledgement that his behaviour is abusive, instead of denying and justifying, is a good thing.

Most people won't admit when they're in the wrong. :rolleyes:

^^^ That. That just gave 'advice' to a very serious situation.


I cannot make any further comments.
 
We're sitting down to a long conversation tonight about this. We'll see how that goes.

I want to thank everyone for their time and opinions. I'm an asshole and the only defense I have is that I want to be with a partner that connects with me. Thank you for your support and opinions! They did help me to address my thinking!

I think it is commendable you came back here and were open to our opinions.
Good luck and much happiness to you both. :)
 
No one here is going to have the right answer for you, only you can decide the next steps. Regardless of what you decide, keep working on you. You will never regret it.
 
Now that is going to require some explaining. Please. It sounds like a great story.


It is an analogy. :)

When I was a kid my friends granny made the worst christmas pudding. You could have torn pieces off and use them to play hacky sack with. But she loved making them and stuff sixpence in them. Then we'd trade them for real coins and go to the corner dairy for an ice block or a few lollies or chewing gum.

The gb has a reputation for being full of trolls, haters, asshats etc but sometimes there is gold at the end of the rainbow. But for the most part the drama gets the most views and people pop in from other forums posting in threads like this that the gb is not the place to get advice or spill your guts.

Sometimes the gb isn't all that bad. ;)
 
It is an analogy. :)

When I was a kid my friends granny made the worst christmas pudding. You could have torn pieces off and use them to play hacky sack with. But she loved making them and stuff sixpence in them. Then we'd trade them for real coins and go to the corner dairy for an ice block or a few lollies or chewing gum.

The gb has a reputation for being full of trolls, haters, asshats etc but sometimes there is gold at the end of the rainbow. But for the most part the drama gets the most views and people pop in from other forums posting in threads like this that the gb is not the place to get advice or spill your guts.

Sometimes the gb isn't all that bad. ;)

My grandmother was a great cook. I guess that is why she never had to hide money in it. If a sixpence is money. Is an ice block just a piece of ice or something flavored? I am American where are you from?

And yes I know you have to be careful on the GB.
 
My grandmother was a great cook. I guess that is why she never had to hide money in it. If a sixpence is money. Is an ice block just a piece of ice or something flavored? I am American where are you from?

And yes I know you have to be careful on the GB.

I'm a kiwi. :)


Aotearoa is the Maori name for the country of New Zealand. The literal translation of Aotearoa is "land of the long white cloud".

An ice block is what I think some call an ice lolly? Ice pop? Icy? Icy poles? Freeze pops?

You can get them flavoured ranging from lemonade to real fruit. A favourite of mine is the grapefruit/lemon fruju. A witty name shortened from fruit juice. To be honest though there is probably more sugar than actual fruit juice.

Stir-up-Sunday, the next before Advent, is the traditional day to make the Christmas pudding. Traditionally, a silver sixpence was stirred in to the mix, to bring the finder wealth and good luck in the year to come.
 
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