Do men ever actually crave romance?

[morelikeasong]

Answering as a man, sure, I’m good with romance. Put on some great perfume and music, make me a good meal, buy me a great video game or a nice new shirt. But it’s also important that you not have a game behind it. No hidden agenda. Don’t make me uncomfortable. And please, have gratitude waiting at some point if I earn it. Okay? Thx.

This reads as though you’re willing to tolerate an effort of romance from your partner but have no actual interest in it, certainly not a craving for it.
What is the gratitude that she’s supposed to be showing? Gratitude for having made you dinner, dressed up for you, and bought you something?

 

[Escierto]

You are never too old for romance. It can sneak up on you when you least expect it and there it is. L-O-V-E. Staring you in the face. Undeniable. Unfathomable. For me it’s almost like the hand of God touching two people.

 

[AchtungNight]

This reads as though you’re willing to tolerate an effort of romance from your partner but have no actual interest in it, certainly not a craving for it.
What is the gratitude that she’s supposed to be showing? Gratitude for having made you dinner, dressed up for you, and bought you something?

You can guess what the gratitude is. I don’t need to say it. And yeah, the romance is ok with me, but I guess I don’t crave it in general. Or I do, but I don’t want there to be an unfair competition behind it. Too often, IMHO, people use romance as a form of enticing entitlement or mocking rather than a good thing. I appreciate romance, but yeah, I don’t necessarily require it. I’m like Vivian in Pretty Woman. I’m affectionate and affection-deficient. I’m almost a sure thing when it comes to sex. But I don’t got time for long stupid games. If your romance tactics are some kind of trick to get me to buy crypto, manipulate my emotions, or do anything else without lasting gratification, the consequences of doing such crap will not be something you enjoy. Get it now? I hope so.

Oh, did I disillusion you? It was intentional. When one is lacking in affection, one gets entertainment where one can. And I’m trying hard not to slip into the dark side. Hope you understand that.

I’m also not into love bombing. Less is more. Pick your targets with precision and grace!

 

[LarryTee50]

I'm not a fan at all of the conventional notion(s) of "romance," which seems to involve all sorts of emotional wheelings and dealings. The best sexual encounters of my life have been with friends. If trust and respect are not the foundation, then what good is a dozen roses?

 

[policywank]

Most of the men that I have known have a genuine interest in romance. However, I think that we each have different ideas about what we find to be romantic and how romance intersects with sex. As a result I would make two observations about the manner in which men's interest in romance may be discouraged.

Firstly, we have a tendency to define romance based upon some objective version of what is romantic. And the things that we think of as romantic tend to be the things that women want. Secondly, some women condition their men to expect that romance is a prerequisite for sex and he is unworthy of sex if he hasn't been sufficiently romantic. Put those two things together and romance becomes synonymous with stuff that guys have to do for their wife/gf to stay out of the dog house and have any hope of having a sex life. That is bound to discourage them over time.

My man does romantic things for me all the time. I think that the fact that I do things for him has a lot to do with it. It isn't transactional. It is just that we define romantic gestures as doing things for the other person based upon what they want not based upon society's view of what is romantic or what they are supposed to want. Some of the things that we think of as romantic are things that we both want, but it also needs to include things that maybe one enjoys more than the other. That needs to be a two-way street. Otherwise getting him to be romantic is just another way of saying getting him to do stuff for me.

 

[billrokra]

Romance is win-win. If you're dating, you've a much better chance of the date going somewhere. If you're in a relationship, romance is really just kindness and caring but with a bit of delight and imagination injected. Hooray for sex, hooray for naughtiness and hooray for romance.

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

Yes I do. One day I'll share something like that with a worthy partner

 

[Bletdown2020]

Yes. I love the “I saw this and thought about you” gifts. My love language is quality time, so that could be sitting next to me while I play video games and you read a book or watch your shows or whatever you love to do. Just someone spending time with me making it a priority to be with me, is amazing to me.
My second LL is physical touch so just rubbing my neck or back while I’m driving is great, or holding my hand out in public, cuddling on the couch.
So I don’t need the fancy dates. Just a walk through the park watching the Christmas lights and my partner holding my hand or arm is perfect for me.

 

[Crownvic]

Romance is definitely important to me in a relationship..

 

[Trubbycat]

Of course we do. We might just express things differently.