Distance Domination-Support Thread

[biffothebear]

My Dom and I are married to (other people) so I know how you feel that you cant just ring and ask if all is ok. I expect something has happened in his "real life" and he's not able to get in touch. I fret when I dont hear from him for a long time at weekends ( and he does to) but we have an agreement that its only a real life event which will stop us being in contact somehow or by prior agreement.

Hang on hunnie , I know its hard *hugs*

Kim is right, it's only real life events that prevent us from contact; you have to accept that if you're married to different people and don't want to cause problems then you learn to be trusting and bide your time. If it's real, they will be in touch.

 

[shadowfk]

excited in the possibilities of distance domination, hoping...

 

[biffothebear]

Well, just to reinforce the point, I got a text from Kim this evening that said, "Don't text or e mail me. I'll be in touch". I assume you can guess how many things are runnining around in my head. Would I think of texting or e mailing? As much as it burns me up the simple answer is no; she said don't, I won't. Hell this can be a lonely place.

 

[kimuk]

I just received an email from Master pleading with me not to submit to sub drop in his absence. Yes indeed he is without power since Saturday and its not likely to be back till at least thurs.
He is however safe...which was my concern...so now I can patiently wait for him to return. he was able to make it to a public library to use one of their computers and send me an email.

all is well with the world again!

See how much he cares to go to those lenghts to get in touch with you? Let that keep you strong x

 

[MissHolly]

See how much he cares to go to those lenghts to get in touch with you? Let that keep you strong x

Yes, I know how lucky I am! We will have a lot of catching up to do once he returns!

 

[Kurokami]

Hey guys, you know what's worse than your LDR not showing up for a date, and you've got no way to contact them? Having your LDR suddenly and completely stop contact with you in the middle of a conversation, before the chat client goes idle and no matter how much you prod she won't answer, for hours.

I know, not talking to my dear LD seems to be all I discuss in this thread, but that's because I hate the feeling of utter helplessness I get whenever stuff like this happens. When we're actually together, things are great. It's just... Damn, I'm worried for her

 

[MissHolly]

Well, just to reinforce the point, I got a text from Kim this evening that said, "Don't text or e mail me. I'll be in touch". I assume you can guess how many things are runnining around in my head. Would I think of texting or e mailing? As much as it burns me up the simple answer is no; she said don't, I won't. Hell this can be a lonely place.

Has she ever done this before? I know I would have a very hard time dealing with that.I hope she contacts you soon...our imagination only makes things worse. Hang in there!

 

[MissHolly]

Hey guys, you know what's worse than your LDR not showing up for a date, and you've got no way to contact them? Having your LDR suddenly and completely stop contact with you in the middle of a conversation, before the chat client goes idle and no matter how much you prod she won't answer, for hours.

I know, not talking to my dear LD seems to be all I discuss in this thread, but that's because I hate the feeling of utter helplessness I get whenever stuff like this happens. When we're actually together, things are great. It's just... Damn, I'm worried for her

I have had a chat die suddenly, but usually it means that privacy was interrupted on his end. Being a natural worrier...our minds tend to go dark so I can understand your concern.

 

[Kurokami]

I have had a chat die suddenly, but usually it means that privacy was interrupted on his end. Being a natural worrier...our minds tend to go dark so I can understand your concern.

Oh, she's come back on, finally. She's fine: apparently she just fainted. I believe her, she's been pretty sick recently, but then again... that's not exactly alleviating my worry.

But she says she's fine, so she's fine. I can tell her to go see a doctor, but god knows, I can't force her. Not from here

 

[ecstaticsub]

Oh, she's come back on, finally. She's fine: apparently she just fainted. I believe her, she's been pretty sick recently, but then again... that's not exactly alleviating my worry.

But she says she's fine, so she's fine. I can tell her to go see a doctor, but god knows, I can't force her. Not from here

Actually you can. This actually bring up an interesting discussion. Dominating from a distance. I can't speak on your situation specifically but from both PYLs and pyls that I have talked to long-distance PYLs have more power then they think they have. In same ways unfortunately more power then they choose to use.

I know you can't grab her physically and force her to make a drs appointment. But if you read through this thread you will see that for most of us pyls we do as we are told. It doesn't matter how far away we are from our dominants. We do what we do because we are submissive to our PYLs, so to disobey pretty much defeats the purpose.

So whether you want her to go to the doctor, or to contact you by a certain time each day, or any other task you want--simply demand it. If she is honestly unable to obey because of legitimate reasons she can discuss them respectfully with you but my guess is that she will welcome a firmer hand in how your expectations of her are handled.

As far as punishment if she does not obey-- unrelenting disappointment tends to work for me.

I bring this up because of past experience. There is that balance that is needed. A long distance dominant has to be reasonable, especially when a partner is married to someone else. But I know during a period when very little was expected of me I tended to feel a bit lost, not as submissive and frankly less loved.

 

[the captians wench]

Hey guys, you know what's worse than your LDR not showing up for a date, and you've got no way to contact them? Having your LDR suddenly and completely stop contact with you in the middle of a conversation, before the chat client goes idle and no matter how much you prod she won't answer, for hours.

I know, not talking to my dear LD seems to be all I discuss in this thread, but that's because I hate the feeling of utter helplessness I get whenever stuff like this happens. When we're actually together, things are great. It's just... Damn, I'm worried for her

Actually you can. This actually bring up an interesting discussion. Dominating from a distance. I can't speak on your situation specifically but from both PYLs and pyls that I have talked to long-distance PYLs have more power then they think they have. In same ways unfortunately more power then they choose to use.

I know you can't grab her physically and force her to make a drs appointment. But if you read through this thread you will see that for most of us pyls we do as we are told. It doesn't matter how far away we are from our dominants. We do what we do because we are submissive to our PYLs, so to disobey pretty much defeats the purpose.

So whether you want her to go to the doctor, or to contact you by a certain time each day, or any other task you want--simply demand it. If she is honestly unable to obey because of legitimate reasons she can discuss them respectfully with you but my guess is that she will welcome a firmer hand in how your expectations of her are handled.

As far as punishment if she does not obey-- unrelenting disappointment tends to work for me.

I bring this up because of past experience. There is that balance that is needed. A long distance dominant has to be reasonable, especially when a partner is married to someone else. But I know during a period when very little was expected of me I tended to feel a bit lost, not as submissive and frankly less loved.

Yup.

All it takes for me to feel his wrath is to see "I am disappointed" appear on my screan. He doesn't even have to physically say it, and I feel all the power he has over me.

 

[Kurokami]

Yup.

All it takes for me to feel his wrath is to see "I am disappointed" appear on my screan. He doesn't even have to physically say it, and I feel all the power he has over me.

I'm aware that I probably do have more power here than I currently use, but I think that highlights the major problem I face as a PYL: I'm too damn nice. The idea of actually using that power to cause discomfort- aside from the discomfort LD enjoys- is quite alien to me.

And I know, she's interested in obeying, and that obedience is sort of the point, but that's a separate issue. I like being a PYL, I certainly get off on it, but for reasons I don't entirely understand there are parts of the role that I don't get, or am uncomfortable with. I spent a lot of time struggling with my fetishes when I was younger, wondering what it was they made me, and I thought I was over this, but, well... I'm a big softie, at heart

 

[MissHolly]

So whether you want her to go to the doctor, or to contact you by a certain time each day, or any other task you want--simply demand it. If she is honestly unable to obey because of legitimate reasons she can discuss them respectfully with you but my guess is that she will welcome a firmer hand in how your expectations of her are handled.

This is absolutely correct! Master say something on me that concerned him on one of our visits and he commanded me sternly to see a Dr. I did of course...because he said so...even though I KNEW it was nothing

As far as punishment if she does not obey-- unrelenting disappointment tends to work for me.

OMG YES!!!!!!! there could never be a worse punishment...and that would be easy to administer...even from a distance.

 

[kimuk]

Well, just to reinforce the point, I got a text from Kim this evening that said, "Don't text or e mail me. I'll be in touch". I assume you can guess how many things are runnining around in my head. Would I think of texting or e mailing? As much as it burns me up the simple answer is no; she said don't, I won't. Hell this can be a lonely place.

All well baby x

 

[wicked woman]

Even though our relationship is no longer D/s, I am still so looking forward to seeing him in a few days. It's been much too long since I've seen my good friend; been able to talk to him in person; see his facial expressions; give him a great big hug and just enjoy being in each other's presence.

 

[kimuk]

Even though our relationship is no longer D/s, I am still so looking forward to seeing him in a few days. It's been much too long since I've seen my good friend; been able to talk to him in person; see his facial expressions; give him a great big hug and just enjoy being in each other's presence.

Enjoy x

 

[wicked woman]

Enjoy x

Thanks. I definitely plan to.

 

[Goodgirl4him]

Actually you can. This actually bring up an interesting discussion. Dominating from a distance. I can't speak on your situation specifically but from both PYLs and pyls that I have talked to long-distance PYLs have more power then they think they have. In same ways unfortunately more power then they choose to use.

I know you can't grab her physically and force her to make a drs appointment. But if you read through this thread you will see that for most of us pyls we do as we are told. It doesn't matter how far away we are from our dominants. We do what we do because we are submissive to our PYLs, so to disobey pretty much defeats the purpose.

So whether you want her to go to the doctor, or to contact you by a certain time each day, or any other task you want--simply demand it. If she is honestly unable to obey because of legitimate reasons she can discuss them respectfully with you but my guess is that she will welcome a firmer hand in how your expectations of her are handled.

As far as punishment if she does not obey-- unrelenting disappointment tends to work for me.

I bring this up because of past experience. There is that balance that is needed. A long distance dominant has to be reasonable, especially when a partner is married to someone else. But I know during a period when very little was expected of me I tended to feel a bit lost, not as submissive and frankly less loved.

this is so true. perfectly worded. thank you.

 

[kimuk]

My Sir has been away for a week , on his holiday in a warm and sunny place. But we have stayed in touch with several messages each day and he has made sure I know who I belong to.

Thankyou Sir , you make me feel very special.

 

[Jaded_One]

I bring this up because of past experience. There is that balance that is needed. A long distance dominant has to be reasonable, especially when a partner is married to someone else. But I know during a period when very little was expected of me I tended to feel a bit lost, not as submissive and frankly less loved.

How did you cope during these times?

 

[naughty4Daddy]

See how much he cares to go to those lengths to get in touch with you? Let that keep you strong x

Yes, I think sometimes not having that instantaneous response or at least a relatively quick response can be agonizing, at least for me it is:
Has he read my email? If he has then is he not replying because he just doesn't want to? Am I too boring? Am I interfering with his life too much? Is he too busy replying emails from other subs? Are those subs way better than me etc etc etc.

It doesn't help that I'm a naturally vulnerable and very insecure person because distance amplifies natural vulnerabilities and insecurities, and what sucks is that it's never anyone's fault. The fault lies on an objective factor - distance, time difference etc. that neither of us can change.

 

[ecstaticsub]

How did you cope during these times?

With patience. And trust. I know eventually he will cycle back around to being demanding again. I try to busy myself with other things while waiting.

 

[the captians wench]

Do I dare hope?

I think I'm going to cry.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Do I dare hope?

I think I'm going to cry.

Good tears or bad tears? Sending out hugs and positive thoughts

 

[the captians wench]

Good tears or bad tears? Sending out hugs and positive thoughts

scared tears. I'm afraid to hope, but I want to....