attempting a politically correct personal ad

[Mo_Bandy]

I regret I have no clever video to post in response. I must therefore concede defeat in the debate. I can only rely on my own poor skills; I have no ability to plagiarize videos in rebuttal.

Dude I bet you’re a buttload of fun at a bar. Muh fuckers cracking jackass jokes and you come at ‘em with Sylvia Plath passages. You probably rake pussy and dont even need to offer up booger sugar to big tittied skanks.

 

[Manny39]

There is not free speech on a message board. We have the speech the owners and moderators let us have

And more times than not that's a good thing!

 

[JakBird]

Dude I bet you’re a buttload of fun at a bar. Muh fuckers cracking jackass jokes and you come at ‘em with Sylvia Plath passages. You probably rake pussy and dont even need to offer up booger sugar to big tittied skanks.

I can manage a little Spanish, German, Latin, even a few words in Japanese, but I have no clue what language you are using. Could I ask for someone to translate into English?

 

[BongoGal]

I can manage a little Spanish, German, Latin, even a few words in Japanese, but I have no clue what language you are using. Could I ask for someone to translate into English?

Hint: you are being laughed at.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

This dude is just trolling. He’s a caricature. It’s clear as day that all he wants is attention. Can we ignore him? Everyone will be better for it — including him.

 

[Lionel_Hutz1977]

Now I feel deprived, for I did not pursue the curriculum of the soft sciences (okay in the math dept we called them pseudo-sciences, but I'm trying to be tactful).

Hey! A fellow mathematician. Nice to see but now I’m self-conscious about whether I sound like a condescending douche too.

 

[JakBird]

Hey! A fellow mathematician. Nice to see but now I’m self-conscious about whether I sound like a condescending douche too.

The perennial question, whether to seek the greatest common denominator and be a douche, or divide out ad infinitum to regress down to the lowliest common denominator. I regret condescension is not found in any Abelian set; it can only go one way.

 

[JakBird]

Lit is a funny place

As it should be. After all, aren't we all here to be entertained, in one manner or another? One man's trolling is another's witty repartee (OMG, I used 'man' in the generic pronoun sense, let the heavens part to allow the gods of Diversity descend upon mere mortals).

 

[Mo_Bandy]

 

[JakBird]

Hint: you are being laughed at.

Ever hear the story of the researcher who put a monkey in a room, then peered through the keyhole to see what was happening? What did he see?

An eye staring back at him.

Hint: Crude parody is not lost on the reader.

 

[Lionel_Hutz1977]

The perennial question, whether to seek the greatest common denominator and be a douche, or divide out ad infinitum to regress down to the lowliest common denominator. I regret condescension is not found in any Abelian set; it can only go one way.

Nevermind. I’m good.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Can you let me know when you rub one out to my posts?

If you post a Ween song then rubbing one out is more than likely going to occur

 

[AmberLGreen]

Bless his wee cotton socks!! He’s back again for another round

You know it is because he wants me don’t you

 

[Mo_Bandy]

If you post a Ween song then rubbing one out is more than likely going to occur

 

[AmberLGreen]

It won’t let me play that. What is it?

 

[Mo_Bandy]

It won’t let me play that. What is it?

Baby Bitch by Ween.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Baby Bitch by Ween.

Can I claim this line “Fuck you, you stinkin' ass ho” as the most romantic thing said to me this week?

So fucking hot to rub one out to

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Can I claim this line “Fuck you, you stinkin' ass ho” as the most romantic thing said to me this week?

So fucking hot to rub one out to

But I, for one, have seen the sun
And the bitch that you've locked up inside

 

[lonely_hubby60]

....

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Hey! A fellow mathematician. Nice to see but now I’m self-conscious about whether I sound like a condescending douche too.

I'm a fucking physicist.
We're all screwed

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Dear OP
I’m sorry your personal ad and recent posts have been so grossly misconstrued. Welcome to the internet where if something you say is misunderstood, you will be promptly stoned to death in the town square.
On the positive side you probably just saved a ton of time fielding messages from potential “suitees” .

I’m a little horrified by the totally unprecedented backlash. I’ve probably made a ton of enemies just by saying I disagree with the mob, but I find it important, especially in todays times, to publicly show you support. Martin Niemöller’s poem First They Came, suddenly popped into my head.

How was your breakfast of babies? Have you ever tried them raw with just a dab of hot sauce?
Good thing you didn’t say puppies. Yikes.

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Now I feel deprived, for I did not pursue the curriculum of the soft sciences (okay in the math dept we called them pseudo-sciences, but I'm trying to be tactful). The idea of daily commuting across a bridge built because "it feels right" rather than one designed to bear up under dynamic loading of wind shear never appealed to me.

However, I will concede my ignorance of the inner workings of the human mind and leave it to the experts of Psych 101 to explain what goes on inside a poster's head. You will pardon me if I express hope such suppositions remain in a quantum super-state and do not reach the level of an event horizon.

You have an exceptional way with words. Kudos that post t cracked me up

 

[LTMMC]

Dear OP
I’m sorry your personal ad and recent posts have been so grossly misconstrued. Welcome to the internet where if something you say is misunderstood, you will be promptly stoned to death in the town square.
On the positive side you probably just saved a ton of time fielding messages from potential “suitees” .

I’m a little horrified by the totally unprecedented backlash. I’ve probably made a ton of enemies just by saying I disagree with the mob, but I find it important, especially in todays times, to publicly show you support. Martin Niemöller’s poem First They Came, suddenly popped into my head.

How was your breakfast of babies? Have you ever tried them raw with just a dab of hot sauce?
Good thing you didn’t say puppies. Yikes.

Dear Nebula! I thank you kindly for your suportive comment. Including for the way you characterized all the "misconstruers" here on this thread. And then I am impressed about you knowing about the poem attributed to Martin Niemöller ("first they came for the ....). Fortunately we are not living in an atmosphere yet, in which Niemöller wrote this poem. And let's hope we never get there, in terms of personal dangers to people with contrarian minds.

Thanks again and I bid you a wonderful day!

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Dude, just fucking be who you really are. There’s some fine pussy up in here and they are all in my fantasy file. And I dont give a good goddamn who their daddies are.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Why would you want to write a PC personal advert? It shows you are not PC. Write it like you want and if the PC brigade get offended (what doesn't offend them?) then great. if they spout insults and names at you then great as well. You don't care what they think anyway and you have quickly weeded them out and saves you wasting time dancing on eggshells until they show their true selves. This way you will quickly discern which people are worth knowing; those that dont fear the name calling of the PC brigade and respect you beiong your true self. PC, woke, whatever. same stiffling mob rule.

Saying it like you you really think will quickly eliminate what you don't want and will attract those you want. That is the name of the game, not pleasing everyone.

Ever thought about going into motivational speaking?