As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

Does the pollen get you down? It did me as a kid, but I seem to have (mostly) outgrown it. It blew and rained a bit this morning and that crap is all over the ground . . . and I'm going to have to start Lawnmower Season this week.


Keep your eyes on the weirdos.

I don't suffer from allergies.

My house will be covered with the Ivy soon.

 

[BeachMomma]

And probably safer.

If you can't get a patient to have a BM, this is a tried and true method that never fails.

A cup of warm prune juice. ( not as hot as coffee but pretty warm)
Add a pat of butter.
Add a dose of MOM.
Mix well.

It tastes like shit (sorry!), but it works. Every time.

They'll poop. That cocktail is known as a Brown Cow. If stool can move at all, it will. It's the FOS patient's best friend.

 

[LongDrySpell]

If you can't get a patient to have a BM, this is a tried and true method that never fails.

A cup of warm prune juice. ( not as hot as coffee but pretty warm)
Add a pat of butter.
Add a dose of MOM.
Mix well.

It tastes like shit (sorry!), but it works. Every time.

They'll poop. That cocktail is known as a Brown Cow. If stool can move at all, it will. It's the FOS patient's best friend.

There's another one that involves warm prune juice, Coke, and MiraLax. I don't remember the exact recipe anymore. It's big in the nursing homes.

Amazing the stuff we'll concoct to get patients to "go."

 

[BeachMomma]

There's another one that involves warm prune juice, Coke, and MiraLax. I don't remember the exact recipe anymore. It's big in the nursing homes.

Amazing the stuff we'll concoct to get patients to "go."

I'm even more amazed that they'll drink it!

 

[tigerstorm07]

LOL being married to a nurse never ceases to amaze me what y'all will talk about...

 

[BeachMomma]

LOL being married to a nurse never ceases to amaze me what y'all will talk about...

Isn't dinner conversation a blast?

 

[sweepthefloor]

I put dermabond on my torn cuticles.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I want to apply dermabond to my nipples.

 

[Balladeer08]

I want to apply dermabond to my nipples.

What does dermabond taste like?

 

[BeachMomma]

Kids, today has permanently changed me. My innocence (what little I had left) is kaput. Gone. Sayonara. Cyanosis. (That's goodbye in any language.)

What has been seen and heard can not be unseen or unheard. I floated to psych today for the first time in my nursing career. I won't go into any details, but suffice it to say, I was amused as hell all day long. I've laughed till I cried too many times to count. I may require therapy to deal with the dreams that I know I'll be having about today.

I wonder if they give an employee discount?

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I don't suffer from allergies.

My house will be covered with the Ivy soon.

I get some sniffles sometimes come Spring. This year is about average so far.


Ivy isn't good for the structure, but if you like it, I won't mention that again . . .


until I forget.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I get some sniffles sometimes come Spring. This year is about average so far.


Ivy isn't good for the structure, but if you like it, I won't mention that again . . .


until I forget.

I do like the windows covered. If I am going to stop the ivy, I have to do it now before it's out of control. I doubt that I will touch it.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Kids, today has permanently changed me. My innocence (what little I had left) is kaput. Gone. Sayonara. Cyanosis. (That's goodbye in any language.)

What has been seen and heard can not be unseen or unheard. I floated to psych today for the first time in my nursing career. I won't go into any details, but suffice it to say, I was amused as hell all day long. I've laughed till I cried too many times to count. I may require therapy to deal with the dreams that I know I'll be having about today.

I wonder if they give an employee discount?

Cyanosis! I am going to utilize that goodbye language from now on.

I wouldn't do psychiatric care-- I feel the lunar pull and get crazy. It's so weird.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I do like the windows covered. If I am going to stop the ivy, I have to do it now before it's out of control. I doubt that I will touch it.

Then enjoy it, by all means.


I gather that it's your house. Good for you. Mine's not all that and a sack of chips, but it is mine, and it is home, and the cats approve.

 

[sweepthefloor]

What does dermabond taste like?

I guess like crazy glue, but I haven't tried it.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I wiped more tears than shit today. Poop is easier to clean up.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The eyes are incontinent of pain, and it runs like liquid suffering.

They don't make tubes for that.

 

[Balladeer08]

The eyes are incontinent of pain, and it runs like liquid suffering.

They don't make tubes for that.

You say the most amazing things. Poetic.

 

[LongDrySpell]

Mom's retirement party was yesterday. Over 100 people came. She was overwhelmed, and surprised, at all of the wonderful things people had to say to and about her as a nurse. The DON actually cried while she was giving her speech.

I wasn't surprised at all. Now that I've worked with her almost every day for the past 3 1/2 years, I've realized that not only is she a great mom, she's the best nurse I've ever seen.

The most moving speech was given by the parents of a patient who died 20 years ago - they've stayed in touch all this time, so of course I invited them to the party. They talked about how reassuring it was to know that she was looking after their daughter every day, how they had absolute trust in her.

I will be weird working without her, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to work with her.

 

[LongDrySpell]

My humor for the day: Social workers who don't have a fucking clue. Our social workers do a home visit before we get new patients, then fill out a form to give us some idea of what to expect when the patient is admitted for the first time. I was reading the info for a patient who will be coming in next week. It says that during his last hospital admission he got a Nissan (I'm guessing she meant a Nissen fundoplication, but it's funnier to think that the hospital gave him a car), and went into "skeptic" shock. (Skeptic shock? I find that hard to believe. ) Oh, and he's had ADRs to "kedanine" and "Van Gogh." I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

 

[Balladeer08]

Mom's retirement party was yesterday. Over 100 people came. She was overwhelmed, and surprised, at all of the wonderful things people had to say to and about her as a nurse. The DON actually cried while she was giving her speech.

I wasn't surprised at all. Now that I've worked with her almost every day for the past 3 1/2 years, I've realized that not only is she a great mom, she's the best nurse I've ever seen.

The most moving speech was given by the parents of a patient who died 20 years ago - they've stayed in touch all this time, so of course I invited them to the party. They talked about how reassuring it was to know that she was looking after their daughter every day, how they had absolute trust in her.

I will be weird working without her, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to work with her.

That sounds fantastic. I envy you.

 

[Balladeer08]

My humor for the day: Social workers who don't have a fucking clue. Our social workers do a home visit before we get new patients, then fill out a form to give us some idea of what to expect when the patient is admitted for the first time. I was reading the info for a patient who will be coming in next week. It says that during his last hospital admission he got a Nissan (I'm guessing she meant a Nissen fundoplication, but it's funnier to think that the hospital gave him a car), and went into "skeptic" shock. (Skeptic shock? I find that hard to believe. ) Oh, and he's had ADRs to "kedanine" and "Van Gogh." I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

I've put a few people into skeptic shock.

The ADRs for "kedanine" and "Van Gogh" could use some explanation for us non-medical types.

This sounds a lot like reading police reports from the less literate officers. You just know that what they wrote can't possibly be what they meant, whatever that was.

 

[sweepthefloor]

You say the most amazing things. Poetic.

Thanks.

 

[sweepthefloor]

My humor for the day: Social workers who don't have a fucking clue. Our social workers do a home visit before we get new patients, then fill out a form to give us some idea of what to expect when the patient is admitted for the first time. I was reading the info for a patient who will be coming in next week. It says that during his last hospital admission he got a Nissan (I'm guessing she meant a Nissen fundoplication, but it's funnier to think that the hospital gave him a car), and went into "skeptic" shock. (Skeptic shock? I find that hard to believe. ) Oh, and he's had ADRs to "kedanine" and "Van Gogh." I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

It is funny. I like the skeptic shock the best.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Mom's retirement party was yesterday. Over 100 people came. She was overwhelmed, and surprised, at all of the wonderful things people had to say to and about her as a nurse. The DON actually cried while she was giving her speech.

I wasn't surprised at all. Now that I've worked with her almost every day for the past 3 1/2 years, I've realized that not only is she a great mom, she's the best nurse I've ever seen.

The most moving speech was given by the parents of a patient who died 20 years ago - they've stayed in touch all this time, so of course I invited them to the party. They talked about how reassuring it was to know that she was looking after their daughter every day, how they had absolute trust in her.

I will be weird working without her, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to work with her.

Awwwwwwa I might cry too. She sounds like the bestest.