As The Hospital Pervs

[BiTodd]

Yes, he was breathing alright. He was thrashing and swinging and the priority was the c-spine stability. I was told to keep medicating him around the clock, and have intubation set up ready.

It seemed cruel, but not as cruel as risking a damaged spinal cord.

Not my kind of intensive care.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Not my kind of intensive care.

No, of course not. I think about it all the time: if I woke up there, I would go crazy too.

 

[LongDrySpell]

Yes, he was breathing alright. He was thrashing and swinging and the priority was the c-spine stability. I was told to keep medicating him around the clock, and have intubation set up ready.

It seemed cruel, but not as cruel as risking a damaged spinal cord.

Very true. One can recover from respiratory failure, not so much from spinal cord injury.

I spent several hours today in the ER with a patient. She had emergency surgery on Monday, lysis of adhesions in her bowel that were causing an obstruction. The hospital is notorious for discharging patients on Friday afternoon, whether they're ready or not. So, of course, she came back Friday. They told us she was tolerating gastro feedings of 1/2 strength formula at 50 mL/h. Got her home, started the feeding, immediate huge emesis. Stopped the feeding, went to straight PediaLyte, huge emesis. Waited a few hours, tried again, same result. Put her on proctoclysis overnight, no emesis. Tried the PediaLyte in the am, huge emesis. Back to the ER.

Almost strangled the med student who did the history. Who apparently thought that developmental disability is the same as deafness.

Student: "Xxxxx, are you having any pain?"

Me: "She can't respond, but I think that she is. She's grimacing, and she's very lethargic compared to her normal behavior."

Student: "XXXXX, ARE YOU HAVING ANY PAIN?!?"

Me: *facepalm*

It was a long 12 hours.

 

[LongDrySpell]

No, of course not. I think about it all the time: if I woke up there, I would go crazy too.

Better crazy than deceased, right?

 

[sweepthefloor]

It was a long 12 hours.

I can imagine, waiting around must be terrible.

Better crazy than deceased, right?

I suppose it is all relative.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I did press my work clothes.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I am so sleepy.

 

[jomar]

I don't feel like pressing my work clothes. I wonder if I can show up dryer fresh without the press tomorrow.

How did we get to pressing from licking?

 

[Balladeer08]

I did press my work clothes.

To bad I didn't read that in time to make a prediction. It doesn't count after the fact.

But I expected you would, you always show great attention to details. For example, your posts are always correctly spelled. I suspect you proofread before you submit. Which I admire.

 

[sweepthefloor]

How did we get to pressing from licking?

I like pressing.

 

[sweepthefloor]

To bad I didn't read that in time to make a prediction. It doesn't count after the fact.

But I expected you would, you always show great attention to details. For example, your posts are always correctly spelled. I suspect you proofread before you submit. Which I admire.

It still counts, the intention always matters. I am sure I make spelling and grammar mistakes. I naturally spell well, but some words I always screw up like tylenol, diarrhea, and hemorrhage.

 

[Balladeer08]

It still counts, the intention always matters. I am sure I make spelling and grammar mistakes. I naturally spell well, but some words I always screw up like tylenol, diarrhea, and hemorrhage.

For some reason, that made me think you should do one of those "word-of-the-day", but specifically for hospitals.

Okay, here's a way for you to make a few bucks:

AS THE HOSPITAL PERVS Word-of-the-Day Calendar.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I had a meltdown: “You are not listening to me. Did you hear anything I said all day?”

I repeated myself for the fifth time with the mean ‘don’t make me call your attending’ nurse voice. The nurse on my left said to him: Why don’t you just do what we say? He walked away. The nurse on my right said nothing.

I turned to the passive nurse on my right and asked: Was I mean? Did I yell at him? I feel terrible. That was just awful. I feel so ugly.

She said: You need some of me in you, and I need some of you in me. Maybe we can share. I have been trying all day to get more fluids for my patient, there is almost no urine output, look at my flow-sheet, maxed out on pressors and not enough fluid. You pulled a tone and got what you wanted.

I said: Yeah, but I don’t feel good about it.

 

[sweepthefloor]

For some reason, that made me think you should do one of those "word-of-the-day", but specifically for hospitals.

Okay, here's a way for you to make a few bucks:

AS THE HOSPITAL PERVS Word-of-the-Day Calendar.

I am thinking of todays word right now but I am not sure if it will be perverse, even though it is all perverse in some way.

 

[Balladeer08]

I am thinking of todays word right now but I am not sure if it will be perverse, even though it is all perverse in some way.

Does it start with an R?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Does it start with an R?

You pick the first word and I will write about it.

 

[LongDrySpell]

How about an A - Z calendar?

A is for atelectasis. (Which would also make a good band name.)

Total or partial collapse of the lung; or
A condition in which the lungs do not fully expand at birth.

Who wants B?

 

[Bidin~Time]

Mr. Montreal, I hope you heal quickly.

 

[LongDrySpell]

Attention patients: We have a new rule. From now on, you must take turns having crises. You will each be assigned a thirty minute block each day in which to have your crisis. If the assigned time is not convenient for your particular crisis, you may trade times with your peers. This is to ensure that sufficient staff are available to assist you with your crisis, and thus to improve patient care. Thank you.







(I hate it when bad shit happens all at once. )

 

[Balladeer08]

You pick the first word and I will write about it.

Hmmm. Being mostly cop, and having only progressed to EMT in the medical field (which is a lot more than most cops), my medical vocabulary is quite limited compared to the majority of the crew here.

However, I do have a certain sense of style.

This being "As the Hospital Pervs", the word I pick is....

PRIAPRISM.


I just KNOW you can do something with that. 8)

 

[sweepthefloor]

(I hate it when bad shit happens all at once. )

That was great, I like the policy. I can imagine walking into the room and saying: Mr.Smith, it is time for your daily crisis. If you want to go all asystole, jump out of the bed and fall, paint the bed rails with your poop, or decide to have a change in mental status, please do so now: you have 30 minutes. Go!

In 30 minutes we can: code you, get you back in the bed and x-ray the hip for fracture, clean up the poop, or go to CT scan stat and be on to the next room. I appreciate your cooperation.

It often happens all at once, at shift change.

 

[sweepthefloor]

How about an A - Z calendar?

A is for atelectasis. (Which would also make a good band name.)

Total or partial collapse of the lung; or
A condition in which the lungs do not fully expand at birth.

Who wants B?

I am looking for a B word now.

Hmmm. Being mostly cop, and having only progressed to EMT in the medical field (which is a lot more than most cops), my medical vocabulary is quite limited compared to the majority of the crew here.

However, I do have a certain sense of style.

This being "As the Hospital Pervs", the word I pick is....

PRIAPRISM.


I just KNOW you can do something with that. 8)

Oh no, this hospital is perverse but we restore order among this kinky chaos. We follow the rules and we are not at the letter P yet.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Mr. Montreal, I hope you heal quickly.

Whoever Mr. Montreal all is, I hope for a quick recovery.

 

[Bidin~Time]

Whoever Mr. Montreal all is, I hope for a quick recovery.

A cutiepatootie patient with a killer smile.

 

[blobfish]

A cutiepatootie patient with a killer smile.

Too bad he's Canadian.