As The Hospital Pervs

[Balladeer08]

And just to clarify: I work for the patient. I don't work for doctors. They don't pay my salary. I do work with them to get the best care possible for the patient. At the end of the day: I work for you.

The reason I admire and respect you is that your are so admirable and respectable.

And yet you do it in a way that doesn't detract from all the dirty fun. 8)

 

[sweepthefloor]

I will simply go limply and let you treat me as you see fit.

I suppose autonomy is not dead yet.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The reason I admire and respect you is that your are so admirable and respectable.

And yet you do it in a way that doesn't detract from all the dirty fun. 8)

Thanks! I practice the same address with Residents and Attending as well. I know a lot of the nurses address the residents by first names, and I get it, I understand it but I don't do it. My rationale is that it sets up the atmosphere for them. It's practice and they need to actualize their role.

I am not the nurse calling the resident saying: Hey Jack, how 'bout you order some electrolyte replacement some time today before rounds! Unless you want to get the esteem shit kicked out of you by Attending!

I am the nurse calling the resident saying: Dr. Smith, did you get a chance to see the results from this morning? I do believe we need an intervention.

And he/she looks good on rounds: we all look good.


*winky dinky*

 

[sweepthefloor]

Welcome to ICU: No Fresh Flowers Allowed.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Let's clarify: the sound of nurses squealing in the rain, running thru puddles, racing to their cars at shift change has got to be the best visual/audio of the day.

 

[Hopeorless1]

Let's clarify: the sound of nurses squealing in the rain, running thru puddles, racing to their cars at shift change has got to be the best visual/audio of the day.

Makes you look forward to seeing everyone at smoke break time ^_^

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

"The lawsuit alleges that a hospital representative told him that because the hospital trained and employs him,
“we own your brain and therefore own all your ideas.’’

Is that only true, for the doctors?

(White Coat Notes news from the Boston- area medical community)

 

[sweepthefloor]

Makes you look forward to seeing everyone at smoke break time ^_^

It's funny when the Respiratory Therapists come in smelling like smoke. I am like: really?

 

[sweepthefloor]

"The lawsuit alleges that a hospital representative told him that because the hospital trained and employs him,
“we own your brain and therefore own all your ideas.’’

Is that only true, for the doctors?

(White Coat Notes news from the Boston- area medical community)

I have never heard of this before. Often times physicians and nurses conduct research that is approved by an IRB, and associated with the H but the material is still published as their own. I wonder what the outcome will be?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Paralytics!

In my mind my villain lovers have three names:
Vecuronium (Norcuron)
Rocuronium (Zemuron)
Cisatracurium (Nimbex)

If my lover were any of those three we’d play with the Peripheral Nerve Love Stimulator (PNS) to assess the level of the block. And just what is the degree of my love blockade?

The Train of Four (TOF) indicates the number of love twitches. The clinical goal is TOF 3/4, but sometimes a deeper level of love paralysis is required to achieve effective love ventilation.

TOF= # of Love Twitches
4/4= 75% Love Blockade
¾= 80% Love Blockade
2/4= 85% Love Blockade
1/3= 90% Love Blockade
0/4= 100 % Love Blockade

When the resistance is great, go for the deep love paralysis. My villain is cruel! There is no sedation or analgesia with this treatment. I am wide awake and mentally intact but I can’t move my arms to embrace my lover! He won’t let me. This is emotional paralysis.

Bucking the vent of love.

 

[Wobnoid]

In my mind my villain lovers have three names:
Vecuronium (Norcuron)
Rocuronium (Zemuron)
Cisatracurium (Nimbex)

If my lover were any of those three we’d play with the Peripheral Nerve Love Stimulator (PNS) to assess the level of the block. And just what is the degree of my love blockade?

The Train of Four (TOF) indicates the number of love twitches. The clinical goal is TOF 3/4, but sometimes a deeper level of love paralysis is required to achieve effective love ventilation.

TOF= # of Love Twitches
4/4= 75% Love Blockade
¾= 80% Love Blockade
2/4= 85% Love Blockade
1/3= 90% Love Blockade
0/4= 100 % Love Blockade

When the resistance is great, go for the deep love paralysis. My villain is cruel! There is no sedation or analgesia with this treatment. I am wide awake and mentally intact but I can’t move my arms to embrace my lover! He won’t let me. This is emotional paralysis.

Bucking the vent of love.

At times, you're kinda like trying to fuck a Borg. It's hot and all, but work, at times. At other times, it's like fucking a Borg. It's hot and all.

 

[Morcheeba]

It's funny when the Respiratory Therapists come in smelling like smoke. I am like: really?

No way, no way do they smoke...

Hi way, I mean, hi by the way.

 

[Wobnoid]

No way, no way do they smoke...

Hi way, I mean, hi by the way.

Depends on whether this is the waiting room or Exam 3. Hi.

 

[sweepthefloor]

At times, you're kinda like trying to fuck a Borg. It's hot and all, but work, at times. At other times, it's like fucking a Borg. It's hot and all.

I don't know a thing about the Borg, but if it's hot either way, it's hot.

 

[sweepthefloor]

No way, no way do they smoke...

Hi way, I mean, hi by the way.

Hi way! It's truth. It would seem that they would be stellar examples of pulmonary hygiene.

 

[sweepthefloor]

 

[sweepthefloor]

 

[sweepthefloor]

If you think pistol whipping only happens in the movies, think again my friends.

Me: Mr. Smith, my name is Janey and I am going to be your nurse for the next twelve hours. I am going to shut off the medicine that is keeping you sleeping to see what you can do. I know you can hear me and I will leave the pain medicine infusing.

The Dip wears off quick.

Me: Mr. Smith, I am your nurse. You are in an intensive care unit right now. According to your record you stated on admission that you were “pistol whipped” in the face.

Me: Mr. Smith, squeeze my hand. Good. Give me a thumbs up. Good. Try to open your eyes Mr. Smith. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Mr. Smith, open your eyes. Good. Hello, Mr. Smith.

Me: Mr. Smith you have suffered severe facial fractures. You were taken to the operating room a few days ago. You jaw is wired shut so you can’t open your mouth or talk. The bones in your face have been screwed back together on the inside. A tube has been placed in your neck to breath with the assist of a ventilator machine. That tube will come out when you recover. I know this is scary. The rest of your body is intact. Your wrists are restrained in case you wake up and accidently pull tubes and lines out. We want to keep you safe. I will take them off every two hours to move you around and hold your hand. You are not alone.

Me: Squeeze my hand if you understand. Good. Can you lift up this leg? How about this leg? Great.

Me: I am putting the sedation back on now, you will fall asleep again. We will wake you up every day to see how you are doing. It’s going to be a long journey, but you are doing much better.
---
Imagine waking up with your jaw wired shut? How scary!

 

[Balladeer08]

Female skulls. No brow ridges.

Just thought I'd mention it.

 

[Balladeer08]

If you think pistol whipping only happens in the movies, think again my friends.

Me: Mr. Smith, my name is Janey and I am going to be your nurse for the next twelve hours. I am going to shut off the medicine that is keeping you sleeping to see what you can do. I know you can hear me and I will leave the pain medicine infusing.

You have wonderful technique with the patient, and I would hope to have a nurse that good if I were ever in such a terrifying situation.

It is great that you tell them what happened, often with such blows to the head there is short-term memory loss. They may not know. And telling them what is going to happen and that you will be there holding their hand...wonderful.

.....I started to ask more questions about what happened, but you couldn't/wouldn't answer them to preserve patient privacy.

Damn shame the things people do to each other.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Female skulls. No brow ridges.

Just thought I'd mention it.

I would have never noticed, or knew that. I was only focusing on fracture classifications.

 

[sweepthefloor]

You have wonderful technique with the patient, and I would hope to have a nurse that good if I were ever in such a terrifying situation.

It is great that you tell them what happened, often with such blows to the head there is short-term memory loss. They may not know. And telling them what is going to happen and that you will be there holding their hand...wonderful.

.....I started to ask more questions about what happened, but you couldn't/wouldn't answer them to preserve patient privacy.

Damn shame the things people do to each other.

The situation is terrifying isn't it? Just being in an ICU is terrifying and there is much talk about delirium and post traumatic stress status post any ICU admission regardless of if it is secondary to trauma or not...

I can just imagine it: waking up in a strange place, tubes in every orifice and more, the cloud of sedation... here it comes again... the mind fighting for clarity, the body broken, the noises, the alarms, people talking, poking, prodding, turning, restrained, tied to the bed... I would go completely insane.

Some small voice off in the distance, the nurse. I only do what is natural and kind to ease the care that is delivered. And I wonder often what is going on inside the head in the bed.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I promise my lines never look like this! Oh! Hell no! If I walked into shift like that the first thing I would do is mount that on a pole and untangle!

 

[Balladeer08]

I would have never noticed, or knew that. I was only focusing on fracture classifications.

Presumptive identification of skeletal remains. Also the eye sockets of males tend to be more squarish, the females more oval. I can also sort gender from the hip bones. Birth canal. There are formulas for estimating height based on various unattached pieces of legs and arms. Age, at least at the young end of the scale, can be somewhat estimated from the extent that the sutures in the skull have grown together, eliminating the "soft spot" in the babies head.

I have a number of unpleasant memories relating to this.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Presumptive identification of skeletal remains. Also the eye sockets of males tend to be more squarish, the females more oval. I can also sort gender from the hip bones. Birth canal. There are formulas for estimating height based on various unattached pieces of legs and arms. Age, at least at the young end of the scale, can be somewhat estimated from the extent that the sutures in the skull have grown together, eliminating the "soft spot" in the babies head.

I have a number of unpleasant memories relating to this.

I am sorry about the memories. If you ever want to write them down and send the words to my inbox I might absorb some nightmares for you. I am good for that.