“Happy birthday to me.”
I sighed at my own reflection in the mirror.
Here I was, all by my lonesome, during Halloween. It was my birthday too and here I was stuck at work. Naturally, I was the only employee here seeing as there wasn't much demand for calendars on Halloween night. The pay was utter garbage but it helped me keep my small apartment, although it made me wonder how the hell do the owners manage to pay rent with so little business? My mother told me that it was probably some money laundering front and I should just play dumb in order to not get into trouble. I didn't mind - there wasn't much demand for my Anthropology degree in this economy and I needed some way to not be homeless.
This was my first birthday out of college too, and this realization only caused my self pity to get even higher. Four years at a private college and what did I have to show for it? Nothing. I didn't have any friends to speak of, no connections, nothing other than a mountain of debt and a useless piece of paper that said that I completed my worthless program.
Ugh, my romantic history is probably even worse than my finances. I won't lie, I have some very plain features. Dull brown eyes, large nose, a weird voice and had uninspiring curves. I wasn't like my sister and her gorgeous physique. I never even had a boyfriend, with the guys in high school being so cruel as to nickname "the ironing board" and the guys in college just plain ol' ignoring me.
The one thing that I had going for me were my hobbies. For example, although I wasn't an expert by any means, I did like martial arts. For the past four years, I trained in Judo and other weapon based combat. This was all thanks to my judo teacher, a Japanese national, who gave me free lessons in classical koryū (also known as real old school) weapons. I'm not sure if it would ever get in handy, but I knew the basics in kenjutsu, battōjutsu and jōjutsu - sword, sword drawing and staff combat. I suppose my interest around these more ancient forms of combat stemmed from my interest in anime, but I wasn't going to ever tell that to anyone. Not that I had many people to talk to in the first place...
“Happy birthday.” I repeated to myself, as the clock hit 7 p.m.
I closed shop and right as I was about to shut off the lights, I noticed something over on the counter. A piece of paper, which I was so sure I didn't leave. Obviously, not wanting to leave things lying around (and not to mention that I literally had nothing else to do), I walked up to it and picked it up. It read:
"You have to be kidding me...okay, who's the asshole who put this here?"
It was more anxiety having to do that someone that was in the store, waiting for me to rob it, than feeling insulted or worried about my own safety. Either way, I looked over every inch of this small store, unable to find anyone or anything unusual. I glanced at the flyer again, feeling the paper and print. It felt glossy and although the paper's design was pretty plain, it somehow felt expensive. If this was a weird prank, it was an awfully elaborate one. Maybe I had a secret admirer? I scoffed, as if. Still, I put the paper in my purse and headed to my one bedroom apartment.
..
Once there, I made myself a small meal and went to my computer. I was about to just go on Netflix or something, until I remembered the paper. Wasn't there a website written on it?
I went over to it and was greeted with the ugliest, most 1990s looking site I've seen in ages.
The text was plain, just like the paper, with some dark background and basic form labels and textboxes. A huge heading explained:
The language felt so...off. But instead of closing the browser, I decided to just roll with it. The computer I was using was in desperate need of an upgrade, so I figured that even if a big ol' virus was waiting for me at the end of this, that at least the very least it would become incentive to buy a new computer.
Question 1: What will your new name be? あなたの新しい名前は何ですか？
Shizuka Marikawa
There was no real rhyme or reason for that name. I just happened to remember it from an Anime I used to watch and went along with the next question.
Question 2 - What will your profession be? あなたの職業は何ですか？
High school Nurse
I've always wanted to be one. I regretted my choice in Anthropology and thought that l was much better off going to medical school. The jobs were a lot more plentiful and at the end of the day, most people were grateful for your time. But I didn't want to work at a hospital! They were too depressing...God, maybe I was putting way too much thought into this.
Question 3 - Hair color? 髪の色？
Blonde
Question 4- Eye color? 目の色？
Blue
Question 5 - Wealth level? 富のレベル？
I was a bit confused with this question, but I figured that it must have meant material wealth. Considering that I was a dirt poor college student, I felt that if I were to live out a fantasy, that I would be wealthy. Enough that I wouldn't have to worry about rent...So, I went with the second highest.
High
A bright red warning showed up.
Warning: High means that you will be well-off, enough that you will never have to worry about money! But there is a risk. Maybe you have money from your family or maybe you won the lottery. But many people get wealth from bad places, so you could have trouble later on. This is dependent on luck.
Okay? I couldn't see the problem with this. Some people get wealth from bad places? What the hell did that even mean? Whatever, it said it was dependent on luck, so...
Question 6 - Bimbo allure? ビンボの魅力？
High
My sister was a huge clutz and guys CONSTANTLY helped her out. I wondered if that had something to do with how attractive she was. Maybe guys were really that shallow and hated an independent woman. Either way I had nothing to lose.
Question 7 - Luck? 運？
High
Based on my earlier question having to do with wealth, I figured I'd need this. Hell, I would have desperately needed this in real life.
Question 8 - Relationship? 関係？
There were three options here. Single, Committed, Married or Carry my stats. I was going to put married but at that very moment, I felt so pathetic. What the hell was I doing? I was I really going to fantasize about a relationship too? That went too far and so I told myself that I'd stick to what I had - myself!
Carry my stats
Question 9 - Breast size? 胸の大きさ？
Largest
Warning: Having huge breasts might get you attention and favorable attention from many, but it can land you in trouble! With this, your attractiveness level will reach the highest rank. This can land you in trouble! Many will like you but this also will attract the most depraved people from society! Be careful!
Again, a worthless message and I rolled my eyes reading it.
Question 10 - Ready to start? 準備は整っていますか？
Underneath this was a button.
Ugh, what the hell was I doing with my life? I was going to some sketchy site and filling up a form...and for what? To be greeted with a cruel screen mocking me? Or, best case scenario, this was for some role playing game. With my head in the palms of my hands, I let out a frustrated sigh. I caved in and clicked it.
And...
Everything...
Went...
Dark.
..
"Huh...what..?" I said out loud, waking up at my desk. Wait, my desk? I didn't recognize this room and this sure wasn't my place. I glanced around the room, trying to find my laptop...but soon became preoccupied with my voice. It was all high pitched and what was with this heavy feeling on my chest? It was as if I was carrying weight and hanging them on my breas -
"W-What-What?!"
I stumbled down, hurting my plump butt on the floor.
"Ouch!"
I looked down and to my shock, I saw two massive breasts! What is more, I wearing this tight outfit. Like a nurse's outfit I saw in an Anime once...
Oh god, what the hell was going on?!
I quickly got up and dusted myself off, seeing a paper on the desk. I hurried over and picked it up - at least, not before I heard some knocking on the door. Reacting quickly, I took the paper and folded it, before placing it in my pocket.
"H-Hello?" I stuttered in a soft voice.
I sighed at my own reflection in the mirror.
Here I was, all by my lonesome, during Halloween. It was my birthday too and here I was stuck at work. Naturally, I was the only employee here seeing as there wasn't much demand for calendars on Halloween night. The pay was utter garbage but it helped me keep my small apartment, although it made me wonder how the hell do the owners manage to pay rent with so little business? My mother told me that it was probably some money laundering front and I should just play dumb in order to not get into trouble. I didn't mind - there wasn't much demand for my Anthropology degree in this economy and I needed some way to not be homeless.
This was my first birthday out of college too, and this realization only caused my self pity to get even higher. Four years at a private college and what did I have to show for it? Nothing. I didn't have any friends to speak of, no connections, nothing other than a mountain of debt and a useless piece of paper that said that I completed my worthless program.
Ugh, my romantic history is probably even worse than my finances. I won't lie, I have some very plain features. Dull brown eyes, large nose, a weird voice and had uninspiring curves. I wasn't like my sister and her gorgeous physique. I never even had a boyfriend, with the guys in high school being so cruel as to nickname "the ironing board" and the guys in college just plain ol' ignoring me.
The one thing that I had going for me were my hobbies. For example, although I wasn't an expert by any means, I did like martial arts. For the past four years, I trained in Judo and other weapon based combat. This was all thanks to my judo teacher, a Japanese national, who gave me free lessons in classical koryū (also known as real old school) weapons. I'm not sure if it would ever get in handy, but I knew the basics in kenjutsu, battōjutsu and jōjutsu - sword, sword drawing and staff combat. I suppose my interest around these more ancient forms of combat stemmed from my interest in anime, but I wasn't going to ever tell that to anyone. Not that I had many people to talk to in the first place...
“Happy birthday.” I repeated to myself, as the clock hit 7 p.m.
I closed shop and right as I was about to shut off the lights, I noticed something over on the counter. A piece of paper, which I was so sure I didn't leave. Obviously, not wanting to leave things lying around (and not to mention that I literally had nothing else to do), I walked up to it and picked it up. It read:
"You have to be kidding me...okay, who's the asshole who put this here?"
It was more anxiety having to do that someone that was in the store, waiting for me to rob it, than feeling insulted or worried about my own safety. Either way, I looked over every inch of this small store, unable to find anyone or anything unusual. I glanced at the flyer again, feeling the paper and print. It felt glossy and although the paper's design was pretty plain, it somehow felt expensive. If this was a weird prank, it was an awfully elaborate one. Maybe I had a secret admirer? I scoffed, as if. Still, I put the paper in my purse and headed to my one bedroom apartment.
..
Once there, I made myself a small meal and went to my computer. I was about to just go on Netflix or something, until I remembered the paper. Wasn't there a website written on it?
I went over to it and was greeted with the ugliest, most 1990s looking site I've seen in ages.
The text was plain, just like the paper, with some dark background and basic form labels and textboxes. A huge heading explained:
The language felt so...off. But instead of closing the browser, I decided to just roll with it. The computer I was using was in desperate need of an upgrade, so I figured that even if a big ol' virus was waiting for me at the end of this, that at least the very least it would become incentive to buy a new computer.
Question 1: What will your new name be? あなたの新しい名前は何ですか？
Shizuka Marikawa
There was no real rhyme or reason for that name. I just happened to remember it from an Anime I used to watch and went along with the next question.
Question 2 - What will your profession be? あなたの職業は何ですか？
High school Nurse
I've always wanted to be one. I regretted my choice in Anthropology and thought that l was much better off going to medical school. The jobs were a lot more plentiful and at the end of the day, most people were grateful for your time. But I didn't want to work at a hospital! They were too depressing...God, maybe I was putting way too much thought into this.
Question 3 - Hair color? 髪の色？
Blonde
Question 4- Eye color? 目の色？
Blue
Question 5 - Wealth level? 富のレベル？
I was a bit confused with this question, but I figured that it must have meant material wealth. Considering that I was a dirt poor college student, I felt that if I were to live out a fantasy, that I would be wealthy. Enough that I wouldn't have to worry about rent...So, I went with the second highest.
High
A bright red warning showed up.
Warning: High means that you will be well-off, enough that you will never have to worry about money! But there is a risk. Maybe you have money from your family or maybe you won the lottery. But many people get wealth from bad places, so you could have trouble later on. This is dependent on luck.
Okay? I couldn't see the problem with this. Some people get wealth from bad places? What the hell did that even mean? Whatever, it said it was dependent on luck, so...
Question 6 - Bimbo allure? ビンボの魅力？
High
My sister was a huge clutz and guys CONSTANTLY helped her out. I wondered if that had something to do with how attractive she was. Maybe guys were really that shallow and hated an independent woman. Either way I had nothing to lose.
Question 7 - Luck? 運？
High
Based on my earlier question having to do with wealth, I figured I'd need this. Hell, I would have desperately needed this in real life.
Question 8 - Relationship? 関係？
There were three options here. Single, Committed, Married or Carry my stats. I was going to put married but at that very moment, I felt so pathetic. What the hell was I doing? I was I really going to fantasize about a relationship too? That went too far and so I told myself that I'd stick to what I had - myself!
Carry my stats
Question 9 - Breast size? 胸の大きさ？
Largest
Warning: Having huge breasts might get you attention and favorable attention from many, but it can land you in trouble! With this, your attractiveness level will reach the highest rank. This can land you in trouble! Many will like you but this also will attract the most depraved people from society! Be careful!
Again, a worthless message and I rolled my eyes reading it.
Question 10 - Ready to start? 準備は整っていますか？
Underneath this was a button.
Ugh, what the hell was I doing with my life? I was going to some sketchy site and filling up a form...and for what? To be greeted with a cruel screen mocking me? Or, best case scenario, this was for some role playing game. With my head in the palms of my hands, I let out a frustrated sigh. I caved in and clicked it.
And...
Everything...
Went...
Dark.
..
"Huh...what..?" I said out loud, waking up at my desk. Wait, my desk? I didn't recognize this room and this sure wasn't my place. I glanced around the room, trying to find my laptop...but soon became preoccupied with my voice. It was all high pitched and what was with this heavy feeling on my chest? It was as if I was carrying weight and hanging them on my breas -
"W-What-What?!"
I stumbled down, hurting my plump butt on the floor.
"Ouch!"
I looked down and to my shock, I saw two massive breasts! What is more, I wearing this tight outfit. Like a nurse's outfit I saw in an Anime once...
Oh god, what the hell was going on?!
I quickly got up and dusted myself off, seeing a paper on the desk. I hurried over and picked it up - at least, not before I heard some knocking on the door. Reacting quickly, I took the paper and folded it, before placing it in my pocket.
"H-Hello?" I stuttered in a soft voice.
