A recent turn of events

[MoMatter]

To be fair, I don't think dude is actually as hung up about how she looks as she is, it's the opposite problem - but rather than disengaging, dude needs to find a way to engage her and get her relaxed enough to be re-interested in sex.

If that's not possible, I've got no judgement. Some people make it really easy to seduce their minds back into playing around and some people make is completely impossible and I don't know enough to advise.

Thank you.

 

[desertslave]

Well I have been in a slightly similar situation. I was married for 20 years and I tried everything I could think of to fix my marriage. My Ex-Husband was and still is an Alcoholic. Through counseling he blamed me and refused to take responsibility for his drinking.
To sum it up, BOTH partners need to be willing to change. It sounds as if your wife has no interest in changing, or listening to what her husband would like.

A

That's what I'm picking up, too. I've BTDT, and I was slowly dying inside. Being found by someone outside my marriage literally saved my life. I can completely understand and sympathize with the OP. It HURTS to be shut down and rejected for whatever the reason. When you're in that place and find someone who truly seems to get you, and to want the same things that you want (and to willingly express it) it's a very heady thing.

I wish the OP luck, hope that he'll tread very carefully for himself and everyone else, and wish I could offer advice on the prospective toy. I'm an anal ninny, I admit it. I've found the jelly types to be more uncomfortable than something smooth and semi-solid. Your mileage is likely to vary.

 

[MoMatter]

That's what I'm picking up, too. I've BTDT, and I was slowly dying inside. Being found by someone outside my marriage literally saved my life. I can completely understand and sympathize with the OP. It HURTS to be shut down and rejected for whatever the reason. When you're in that place and find someone who truly seems to get you, and to want the same things that you want (and to willingly express it) it's a very heady thing.

I wish the OP luck, hope that he'll tread very carefully for himself and everyone else, and wish I could offer advice on the prospective toy. I'm an anal ninny, I admit it. I've found the jelly types to be more uncomfortable than something smooth and semi-solid. Your mileage is likely to vary.

I told my story because I thought it might be of interest on this board. I didn't ask to be judged, and am a bit surprised that this group would be that way. Thank you to those who chose not to judge, yet still advise. Thank you most of all to those of you who expressed understanding like the two quoted here.

I will tread carefully. I will try to make things better with my wife. If fact things are a little better already, thanks to your advice. However, I may still explore this side of my sexuality. I haven't done anything but talk about it so far.

For those of you who understand, again, thank you. For those of you who chose to judge, go ahead, but be sure and look in the mirror first. And to those of you who chose to insult me, go fuck yourself.

On thing that I can't stand is hypocrisy. There seems to be a lot here , I'm done.

 

[midwestyankee]

I told my story because I thought it might be of interest on this board. I didn't ask to be judged, and am a bit surprised that this group would be that way. Thank you to those who chose not to judge, yet still advise. Thank you most of all to those of you who expressed understanding like the two quoted here.

I will tread carefully. I will try to make things better with my wife. If fact things are a little better already, thanks to your advice. However, I may still explore this side of my sexuality. I haven't done anything but talk about it so far.

For those of you who understand, again, thank you. For those of you who chose to judge, go ahead, but be sure and look in the mirror first. And to those of you who chose to insult me, go fuck yourself.

On thing that I can't stand is hypocrisy. There seems to be a lot here , I'm done.

I would just like to point out that expressing concern that your actions might result in a great deal of hurt - and often expressed as a result of personal experience - is not the same thing as being judgmental. Many more of us have been in your shoes than you know about and few of us are being judgmental when we advise you that your life will never be the same. In fact, it may not even be as good as it is now for a very long time if you choose to go through with this plan. This is the voice of hardening experience. Do as you choose. That's your privilege as a human being. But do so understanding that whatever joy or happiness you feel right now may be the best it gets for a long time.

 

[VladHarkonnen]

I'm always amazed at the amount of judgment that oozes out of this site when infidelity comes up. Frankly, only someone who has been there has any clue, and even then, everyone's relationship is different. OP didn't ask for marital advice, but rather, for strap-on reviews. If we are all so open-minded as to not judge his desire to get pegged, I think we should leave his desire for extra-marital sex unjudged as well.

gotta agree here to an extent. I don't know if it's judgement going on here but there does appear to be a great deal of unsolicited advice.

On the other hand, if the OP didn't want that why would he even bother telling us the rest of the story. Should have just asked for strapon suggestions

That's what I'm picking up, too. I've BTDT, and I was slowly dying inside. Being found by someone outside my marriage literally saved my life. I can completely understand and sympathize with the OP. It HURTS to be shut down and rejected for whatever the reason. When you're in that place and find someone who truly seems to get you, and to want the same things that you want (and to willingly express it) it's a very heady thing.

I wish the OP luck, hope that he'll tread very carefully for himself and everyone else, and wish I could offer advice on the prospective toy. I'm an anal ninny, I admit it. I've found the jelly types to be more uncomfortable than something smooth and semi-solid. Your mileage is likely to vary.

nail...head...hit on...