30s male usa, seeking nice cute lady

[Hanon435]

mmm *getting started on nightly business*


i wonder.... i wonder if could use a sham-wow after this.

 

[Hanon435]

*tromps out into a spotlight on stage*

*has an announcement*


ahem!

i have...




a penis!




and you don't ladies. least i hope not... don't worry ladies. you can have a penis too. you can borrow mine. one at a time. or two at a time. or in small groups at a time.

*wanders off in search of the nice cute girl*

 

[bellinda69]

*shouts from inside the pillow fort, now with an erection from the flashing* hey! those are only for women!

*puts an "only for the ladies" sign up by the buttons.

awwwwwww....but the gay gys think ur hilarios too!!!


now i have to go ask them for the buttons back.... they'd be devastated.

 

[Hanon435]

ew. no gay guys. no. yuck. they can do whatever they want. just not my thing. either way you want to interpret that. ew. *covers thing*

 

[disturbed4u]

This thread is too funny! Hope you find what you are looking for soon!

 

[bellinda69]

ew. no gay guys. no. yuck. they can do whatever they want. just not my thing. either way you want to interpret that. ew. *covers thing*

hahahahaa...ok gotcha....no gay guys for you. Only women....

 

[Hanon435]

*snores loudly, tired for some reason* yeah only ladies : * resumes loud snoring*

 

[Hanon435]

This thread is too funny! Hope you find what you are looking for soon!

only been a few years. and that's just for this threads. *sigh*

 

[Hanon435]

hey hey i'm on and i'm not horny. that's right, not horny. *checks to see the ground is still warm* i will enjoy this while it lasts.

 

[Hanon435]

*looks down at cock* ha ha! i have conquered you! not controlling me any more are you? muah! haha! who's got all the blood now? that's right. it's all up here now. *uses that extra blood, and begins wondering why i'm talking to my cock*






hehe...

*after overhearing a guy say to his girlfriend that she should kiss his papercut and make it better*

i know.... cause i'm smart *and apparently not using that blood for higher mental funtions*

*unzips*

hehe...

*gets a hammer*



i can get a lady to kiss it and make it all better.

*raises hammer*

wait, wait. this is stupid.


cause i need like a sledghammer or something. that would mean i would get a better kiss probably.

*thinks*

no no. that's dumb too. this hammer will do fine.

i am so smart... this is foolproof! br-r-r-r-r-r-rilliant!


hehe...

*raises hammer* *raises eyebrow* ladies? i think i may have an "owie."

hehe....

 

[Hanon435]

*whistles, pulls bucket along*

i'm cleaning the bathroom for this thread. ladies like clean toilets.


<-- knows

there. everything is sparkling and clean.


*puts mints and chocolates and flowers 'n stuff out for the ladies*

cause they like that too. i guess they pee and eat chocolate.

and women don't poop. nope.

<-- also knows this.



*goes off to do research on pleasing women, leaves bucket behind for the guys... if the guys must visit this thread and don't take the hint that there's no bathroom for them.... i have my own private bathroom and it's very manly too, but the guys can use this bucket*


*leaves a sign, don't knock this bucket over!*

and i use a new bucket each time i clean in case you're wondering.

 

[ShaiGirl]

Hi Hanon! I see that you have an all-new thread now, which is not 30+ pages long. lol Hope you find that cute girl that you're looking for! You visited my thread many times before, so now I'm bumping yours.

 

[Hanon435]

mmm *enjoys bump*

 

[Hanon435]

*trolling the internet*

ladies *tips hat*


and i am not masturbating, nor am i erect. impressed? i thought so.

cause i have willpower.

dammit... i have willpower. i have willpower. i have willpower. i have willpower. i have willpower. i have willpower.

 

[Hanon435]

an i still have willpower. ha!

take that cock! that's right. just hang there limp.


*tries to impress the ladies with my willpower and limp penis*

oh it's limp ladies. it's getting squashed by a book now so it's kind of going to sleep.

*has sleepy cock*

 

[Hanon435]

i'm going. and i've removed the book so my cock is waking up.

aaaaaaah! prickles!

 

[just2damshy]

I have to say at least you entertain yourself well
Good luck on your search~here's a new bump!

 

[Hanon435]

*prepare to power wank* yes, power wank. go for speed.

*admires the concentration of that cat pic above*

 

[Hanon435]

*commences power wanking*

 

[Hanon435]

done! *slaps timer to stop*

haha! lol


power wank.... complete. now i can get some good sleep.

 

[Hanon435]

power wanking's lonely though. i want a nice cute girl to talk to and snuggle with.

 

[crzyfemme18]

lol. everyone else is right this thread is really interesting. lol.

 

[Hanon435]

yeah. maybe the thread will attract my nice cute girl. i'm never going to find her by power wanking. damn. ten minutes and that's it? i think i've combined wanking with chatting, my sex research , and looking for a gf or something.

and i have more time to think. like about the question i'm about to post. *goes to another thread to post*

 

[WinterBlueAbby]

*giggle* UR cute, that is for sure.
Good luck on your search Horton

 

[Hanon435]

i've been looking. i found two married women this past week. those were a couple "damn!" moments. i know one of them didn't have a ring on before. at least i didn't think so. and she looked at me which of course means she was interested. she looked at me a few times though so ... doesn't matter. she's married. *fucks quietly*

horton? i'm hanon. and i'm going to bed. the point of power wanking is more time for sleeping. night.