Are sub missives more Vulnerable?

IrisAlthea · Aug 22, 2015

Gianbattista said:
Those who do not make themselves so vulnerable at times miss an important human experience. That does not mean that vulnerability has to experience hurt.

Fragile things can remain un broken. We who Own them have responsibility to pack them well, store them well and do our best to ensure them well. And cracked things, things with patina of wear? They are often more beautiful than the over preserved in anycase. We decide to live in a museum behind glass, to Live in the world taking due care or to end in a rubbish dump. I like the middle option, some patina of wear, some scratches, but stable and whole enough to remain useful, and serviceable and not 'kept for ornament'.

Yup, fine line to tippy toe along.

And yes, I know the state of relationship you are talking about.
You describe it well.

DeepGreenEyes · Aug 23, 2015

Gianbattista said:
But,if as you say, experience makes us more canny, why is a submissive who has had a couple of any of sort of relationships more vulnerable than a non kink person with say, only one experience, of the same age?

I'm not trying to "rank" vulnerabilities (although it might make an interesting alternative to fantasy football). My point is that if one is not versed in D/s, the possibility is there for a particular kind of abuse or manipulation to be mistaken for part of a new dynamic: "This doesn't seem good, but it's probably just that I'm not yet a true sub/Dom."

Certainly there are myriad ways that newbies of any relationship-stripe can be taken advantage of, or do Dumb Stuff.

I don't disagree with the rest of your post at all.

Endless_Night said:
Then DGE came along.

That's it. Keep staring at the watch... You're getting sleepy...

Endless_Night said:
If your kink relationship is well integrated into your regular life, if you’ve been involved in kink long enough to feel comfortable in that identify, if kink came easy, then your D/s relationship probably is just like any other relationship.

If you keep your kink compartmentalized, if you’re new to kink, if kink has been a long and difficult road, then your D/s relationship might be quite different from your other relationships.

If submission requires a different mindset, almost an alter ego, it can be like birthing a new personality. A personality whose boundaries and needs are less clear, who is less certain of what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is appropriate. In that situation it’s an easy leap to being confused about where submission begins and boundaries end. Toss in a little power exchange, a dynamic which requires it’s own unique brand of emotional intimacy, and an excess of vulnerability is not such an odd result.

This is what I was trying to say. Thank you for stating it more clearly than I.

Gianbattista said:
Fragile things can remain un broken. We who Own them have responsibility to pack them well, store them well and do our best to ensure them well. And cracked things, things with patina of wear? They are often more beautiful than the over preserved in anycase. We decide to live in a museum behind glass, to Live in the world taking due care or to end in a rubbish dump. I like the middle option, some patina of wear, some scratches, but stable and whole enough to remain useful, and serviceable and not 'kept for ornament'.

This is a beautifully apt metaphor.

Are sub missives more Vulnerable?

La damnee elle la licorne

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