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30s male usa, seeking nice cute lady

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Hanon435

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 11, 2004
Posts
2,291
only took me two years to make a new post. :rolleyes:

cause i can go slow sometimes. :D


:rolleyes::cattail:





here's my info from my original post.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=350796

I would like to meet a nice, cute lady for online fun.... Camming, hear her voice, just talking.

I think I am a nice guy and would like to meet a nice like minded girl.

Feel free to IM or email. at yahoo hanon435


Hanon



about me...


31 m usa, won't say anymore about exact area
white guy
single
nice guy. i think, sometimes my mind is over ridden by horniness.

sometimes gay guys im me which is their business but it's kind of gross. i like to know someone. i want to know a lady is female for sure, so a web cam or mic is good. i hope it doesn't offend. i usually ask if you have a camera, web cam, mic, and headphones.

i'm looking for someone nice. cute. understanding. i really want a gf but i don't think i will find that online. an online gf is ok i think. most of the people who have stuck around are friends now. i miss the ones who left. i don't always log on and i don't expect anyone else to. running into each other when it happens is ok. or email.
 
Last edited:
tah dah! i'm set for another eight years now. :)

*makes self at home in new, arranges pillows carefully, sets up a place for a nice cute girl*

:)

*resumes waiting for a nice cute girl*

anytime now... anytime... yep..... any... time.... now....... *checks watch*...... anytime... yep....
 
*drags thread up* come on ladies. it's all nice new and shiny. very clean.







and i made this thread too. :)
 
*stis and waits for a nice cute girl*

i'll just have to find *something* to pass the time.... :)
 
Hanon435 said:
*stis and waits for a nice cute girl*

i'll just have to find *something* to pass the time.... :)
Click to expand...
ur quest for a 'cute girl' has put a smile on my face. ur funny. and nice... wondering why no females responded to your earlier try (yes i went thru ur earlier thread)...
 
*continues searching, with special 'dowsing stick' to find a nice cute girl* :)
 
heh heh heh

problem solved.

*pulls out pheromones, sprays pheromones all over the thread*:rolleyes:

it's guaranteed to attract females. heh heh heh

it'll work. let's find out.

*waits*




*comes back later*

:eek:

wtf... what are all these female deer, these does, doing here?

stupid pheromones.:mad:



*gets another bottle of pheromones*

no. not this one marked "guaranteed to attract pussy" i'm not falling for that. i don't want cats around.

:D <-- is smart

:) <-- be's smart. :rolleyes:

*gets a bottle marked 'guaranteed to attract human females'

yeah, this one. cause bottles would be marked like that distinguish it with 'human' like that.:rolleyes:

i got the gallon size bottle too. cause i'm classy like that. :)


*dumps female human pheromones all over thread*


*waits*


*waits*

*and waits some more*

*a lady approaches, goes wild, and rolls all over in the pheromones.*


:D
awesome! it's working. hehe i'm set now. all my problems solved. why look...

*another lady approaches, attracted by the pheromones. the second lady goes nuts and rolls around in the pheromones"

all right! this stuff is really working.

*then the two ladies look at each other*

oooo hehe


*then the two ladies lock arms, walk away together, probably going off to lock other things too."


god dammit...:(
 
Hanon435 said:
heh heh heh

problem solved.

*pulls out pheromones, sprays pheromones all over the thread*:rolleyes:

it's guaranteed to attract females. heh heh heh

it'll work. let's find out.

*waits*




*comes back later*

:eek:

wtf... what are all these female deer, these does, doing here?

stupid pheromones.:mad:



*gets another bottle of pheromones*

no. not this one marked "guaranteed to attract pussy" i'm not falling for that. i don't want cats around.

:D <-- is smart

:) <-- be's smart. :rolleyes:

*gets a bottle marked 'guaranteed to attract human females'

yeah, this one. cause bottles would be marked like that distinguish it with 'human' like that.:rolleyes:

i got the gallon size bottle too. cause i'm classy like that. :)


*dumps female human pheromones all over thread*


*waits*


*waits*

*and waits some more*

*a lady approaches, goes wild, and rolls all over in the pheromones.*


:D
awesome! it's working. hehe i'm set now. all my problems solved. why look...

*another lady approaches, attracted by the pheromones. the second lady goes nuts and rolls around in the pheromones"

all right! this stuff is really working.

*then the two ladies look at each other*

oooo hehe


*then the two ladies lock arms, walk away together, probably going off to lock other things too."


god dammit...:(
Click to expand...
Hahahahhaa,.... ok this made me laugh even harder!
 
hehe *thinks maybe it actually worked* :rolleyes:










*cums* :eek:

it's not my fault. she made that happen. not me. she looked at me. :rolleyes: i was just an innocent bystander, standing by innocently.:cattail:

an that's never happened before. that was the first time. :rolleyes:
 
*reads belinda's profile, wonders if she would bow down since she worships men*

hmmmm


*wonders if it's acceptable to "dub thee" Madame Belinda in a certain manly way while she's bowing down*:D


:rolleyes:


there must be a lot of Lady or Madame Vaginas out there. cause they got knighted that way. "i dub thee... Lady Vajaja." taptaptaptaptaptaptap
 
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Hanon435 said:
hehe *thinks maybe it actually worked* :rolleyes:

*cums* :eek:

it's not my fault. she made that happen. not me. she looked at me. :rolleyes: i was just an innocent bystander, standing by innocently.:cattail:

an that's never happened before. that was the first time. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

:D:D It was your humor that did it, not the pheromone spray thingie. (hint: Funny guys are my weakness)


Hanon435 said:
*reads belinda's profile, wonders if she would bow down since she worships men*

hmmmm


*wonders if it's acceptable to "dub thee" Madame Belinda in a certain manly way while she's bowing down*:D


:rolleyes:


there must be a lot of Lady or Madame Vaginas out there. cause they got knighted that way. "i dub thee... Lady Vajaja." taptaptaptaptaptaptap
Click to expand...

I wold if the men is worth worshipping. i should i say im a worshiper of male anatomy

And, Madame Bellinda is fine by me....LOL

btw in what manly way????

Seriously, reading your posts make me laugh...
 
*wags tail* :D


:eek:


:rolleyes:


:D

ok i have a joke.

a penis walks into a bar. the bar is filled with nice cute women. all the women turn and look at the penis and start rubbing themselves. soon they will walk over and touch it. the women have many, many orgasms.

wait that's not really a joke is it. more of a fantasy.

*just wanted to say penis*:rolleyes:

penis :D

you can say it too ladies. come on, come on.
try it. that's it. what's that? you can't say it. you can't get penis out of your mouth? there. you've got it. you've got penis, just on the tip of your tongue.




i found a sex manual. i memorized it cause i'm that dedicated. here it is.
step one. thrust.
step two. pull back.
repeat
:)
*hopes the lady doesn't mind if i have that written out and refer to it during sex in case i forget*
 
ladies, please stop pming me so much. it's embarassing. i have to clean out my pm box. again. and that's not copies of all my sent emails either.

here. i will embarass one of you now by posting your pm. this is from a lady who is not me.





dear hanon (who i am not),

last night was so wonderful. you are like a sex god. i came so many times.

from,
a lady (who is not hanon)

ps. please stop parading around with my panties displayed on your car like a flag.





oh all right ladies. you can still pm me. it's ok. :)
 
for the ladies :rolleyes:

*grunts and groans, drags out a giant barrel of buttons* :D

:cattail: <-- is prepared for thousands of ladies with all these buttons.

:D


the buttons say:

"i fucked hanon an all i got was this stupid button."

"i cybered hanon an all i got was this stupid button."


you can each have one ladies. :rolleyes: we can add little stickers. one sticker for each orgasm you have. collect 10 and you can have an extra orgasm.

wear them with pride ladies. :cattail: all the ladies will be wearing them soon i bet.


:cool: <-- be's cool and waits.




i wonder how many ladies will be taking buttons. one button per lady please. i better move back *anticipates mad rush for buttons*

an there should be an orderly taking of buttons. no ladies should be harmed in the taking of these buttons. please form an orderly line. i know you are all anxious but we need to be safe too.

*sits and waits* :cattail:

maybe you should form lines by hair colors. blondes in one line, red heads in another... or by age? or weight? *smacks self in the head so you don't have to* :rolleyes:

:cattail:
 
LOL.... sounds like you're talking to yourself...




Can i have a button, or do i actually have to do you?
 
*peers out from the safety of a pillow fort*


oh, the buttons are in the barrel there. you can take as many as you want. like for your friends too an stuff. :)
 
Hanon435 said:
*peers out from the safety of a pillow fort*


oh, the buttons are in the barrel there. you can take as many as you want. like for your friends too an stuff. :)
Click to expand...
*quickly grabs a hundred or so buttons, flashes hanon quickly and runs off....

distributing the buttons out to virtually every woman, half-woman and gay gy i know*



shouts: wear them proudly ppl!!!!!!!


but,
shhhh dunt tell anyone u got them from me......:D




hahahahaha (evil laugh).... :devil:
 
bellinda69 said:
*quickly grabs a hundred or so buttons, flashes hanon quickly and runs off....

distributing the buttons out to virtually every woman, half-woman and gay gy i know*



shouts: wear them proudly ppl!!!!!!!


but,
shhhh dunt tell anyone u got them from me......:D




hahahahaha (evil laugh).... :devil:
Click to expand...


*shouts from inside the pillow fort, now with an erection from the flashing* hey! those are only for women!

*puts an "only for the ladies" sign up by the buttons.
 
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