Scentofawoman
shifting my paradigms
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Money makes love comfortable. I think it comes to communication about money.
For Love or Money???
- Thread starter Seasidegal
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poppadog
Old Dog - New Tricks
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I wouldn't kick you out of bed or the house!!!
And now we see southerncharm77's real motive appear before us Lol
southerncharm77
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And now we see southerncharm77's real motive appear before us Lol
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Seasidegal
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Even if I ate crackers in bed??? Haha
lovetopleasewomen
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Actually, the answer is they appeared simultaneously.
The more then human response would be love but present society is not based on more then human ideals. Not knowing more about your situation all I can say is that both needs to be there.
southerncharm77
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BlackCashmere
Kindness begets Kindness
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For me hands down...LOVE it is...
But honestly, It is indeed hard to be objective when you have an abundance of one or both...
But honestly, It is indeed hard to be objective when you have an abundance of one or both...
southerncharm77
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For me hands down...LOVE it is...
But honestly, It is indeed hard to be objective when you have an abundance of one or both...
Well they say love blinds and money corrupts.
NotHisLady
aimlessly wandering
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In my opinion, and with due respect, being given an ultimatum like that means that the love was one sided to begin with.
You didn't choose love or money--you chose self respect.
Love doesn't ask you to choose.
Fortunes may be won and lost a dozen times over.
Love is much harder to find and harder to lose but once lost it is far harder to win again.
TheMarksman
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Call me an old fashioned romantic but I'd take love any day. Neither is particularly easy to find. But I'd rather be happy than rich. And I'd prefer someone to some thing.
M
janeyl
sensual hedonist
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Quoted for truth...
I believe that love, however unconditional, is hard to maintain if you do not have consensus about your attitude to money...it's a fundamental in life and cannot be ignored...if you have wildly differing beliefs about either, then there is an inequality that oftentimes cannot be overcome which will eventually destroy love no matter how true, deep or unconditional...
TheMarksman
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Way to kill a mood
You're right but all the money in the world will not buy you happiness if there is no love.
M
Quite interesting question. Gut instinct is money but my heart wants love. Money is much easier to attain. Love warms my entire being.
I believe if you were ever truly poor - sell yourself on the streets poor -- money will be your answer.
As far as the original post, run as fast as you can from this person who is telling you to earn money for him. He is envisioning a life of servitude for you.
I believe if you were ever truly poor - sell yourself on the streets poor -- money will be your answer.
As far as the original post, run as fast as you can from this person who is telling you to earn money for him. He is envisioning a life of servitude for you.
janeyl
sensual hedonist
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Way to kill a mood
You're right but all the money in the world will not buy you happiness if there is no love.
M
Not my intention to kill the mood...I can add a picture of a fluffy kitty to counterbalance if you like...
It depends on your definition of happiness to be frank...some people would find that the lack of fear that often comes with a degree of financial security might equate to a degree of happiness...
...but as someone who is deeply in love, I agree...but then I have worked all my life to ensure my own security and neither of us depend on the other financially so it's easy for me to seperate the two...if our circumstances change, I'd like to believe that our feelings wouldn't but in the face of the struggle to survive, all love is irrevoceably affected...it's why the communication mentioned previously and consensus is so important...
poppadog
Old Dog - New Tricks
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Way to kill a mood
You're right but all the money in the world will not buy you happiness if there is no love.
M
Fair point but is there not an argument that the opposite scenario will ultimately result in the same??
You can be short of money and happy but having the resources to feed the spirit is also fairly vital.
I dream of being a professional footballer but realistically speaking it ain't gonna happen! Doesn't mean I can't sustain the dream in my own head.
TheMarksman
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Not my intention to kill the mood...I can add a picture of a fluffy kitty to counterbalance if you like...
It depends on your definition of happiness to be frank...some people would find that the lack of fear that often comes with a degree of financial security might equate to a degree of happiness...
...but as someone who is deeply in love, I agree...but then I have worked all my life to ensure my own security and neither of us depend on the other financially so it's easy for me to seperate the two...if our circumstances change, I'd like to believe that our feelings wouldn't but in the face of the struggle to survive, all love is irrevoceably affected...it's why the communication mentioned previously and consensus is so important...
[resists urge to make obvious pun] Like love, a fluffy kitty can go a long way towards warming your heart.
(incidentally I did put a wink in my reply but it seems to have been chewed up by the system)Notice I actually agreed with you re the finances being important.
Like most things, what is required is a balance of the two. But given the binary choice offered by the OP, I'm afraid there is no choice. As someone much smarter than me said: it is much better to have loved and lost than never have owed a penny... Er sorry... never have loved at all.
M
TheMarksman
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You've answered your own question.
There's a huge difference between chasing a futile dream and aspiring to find someone to love and be loved by.
Now chasing realisable dreams, isn't that what life should be all about?!
M
cowslinger64
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I'd be rather content finding an older woman, in good shape and attractive...with money and be her high priced tongue boy.
In my experience, the fun, shallow and superficial relationships have always been WAY more enjoyable than when I try to do it for real. As I near the end of my forties, I often wonder if I'll ever find true love or whether I even want it.
My fantasy is a ton of money, a 150 foot yacht in the Caribbean, 100 naked women and my doctor. I'll take that over love any day.
In my experience, the fun, shallow and superficial relationships have always been WAY more enjoyable than when I try to do it for real. As I near the end of my forties, I often wonder if I'll ever find true love or whether I even want it.
My fantasy is a ton of money, a 150 foot yacht in the Caribbean, 100 naked women and my doctor. I'll take that over love any day.
RickTango
Dances away
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I will add my two cents, Love or money? Love can and normally does change over time. I know some will disagree but that lustful craving that happens early in a early relationship either fades away or morphs into something more meaningful. Money is forever changing, as our family grows so do our needs.
For me I think it should be about "like" and "mutual respect.". If you "love" someone but don't "like" them you will have a difficult time sustaining a relationship. Mutual respect means you both value each others needs, ultimatums should never be part of the equation.
Again, this is just my humble opinion.
I hope you find your right path.
For me I think it should be about "like" and "mutual respect.". If you "love" someone but don't "like" them you will have a difficult time sustaining a relationship. Mutual respect means you both value each others needs, ultimatums should never be part of the equation.
Again, this is just my humble opinion.
I hope you find your right path.
Seasidegal
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Nothislady- that is a perfect response and I will use some of that when I explain why I'm not going to stay. Choosing self respect should always be first.
Thank you! Thank you...
lovetopleasewomen
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I like this answer also.
cowslinger64
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Ok - funny people- Im NOT an axe murderer....
Typically axe murderers don't have such nice butts... jus sayin
Just out of curiosity....was he asking you to pay your fair share or carry the load?
H
heartlessbytch
Guest
I don't believe in ultimatums of any kind, so if you are asked to choose love or money then it's not worth either, if you are asked or asking someone to pay their fair share then that is a different question all together.
I thought I was in love with someone, but I spent all my time working and in the pursuit of making money, found that the person was a comfort and they got little of my attention, the relationship ending badly with me not understanding money is not always the most important thing. I now know that there has to be a balance of both.
You can be in love and have no money, and have have money and be in love, but if you can't communicate about both and have a balance in your life, then it won't matter which you have you won't be happy.
I thought I was in love with someone, but I spent all my time working and in the pursuit of making money, found that the person was a comfort and they got little of my attention, the relationship ending badly with me not understanding money is not always the most important thing. I now know that there has to be a balance of both.
You can be in love and have no money, and have have money and be in love, but if you can't communicate about both and have a balance in your life, then it won't matter which you have you won't be happy.
Seasidegal
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He makes a very good living and was asking me to bring the same to the table.... Even though I would be leaving my job and relocating 1200 miles. In my opinion I could certainly pay my fair share- never needing a dime of his money... What I don't understand is why the high bar and just what am I expected to finance? The whole situation is very strange to me.
NotHisLady
aimlessly wandering
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If this was a conversation about finances then it's one thing. Men have a hard time with that generally. Does he potentially face a change in his situation?
Mostly, couples share financial responsibility so if you're already working, and he wasn't asking you to start then it seems odd all around.
Relocating? Is he moving? Asking you to come with?
It seems like a great deal was left out.
Still, an ultimatum is unacceptable.
Look at it with something other than money in the equation.
If someone you'd been seeing for a while and truly liked told you to either sleep with them or it was over. Would you think twice before heading for the door?
