Clever Insults

tender_elf · Nov 17, 2014

Not aimed at anyone and just for laughs.

I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up things to do in your town it gives me your address.

FoolMeOnce · Nov 17, 2014

I'm not saying you're a liar. But when I looked up Pinocchio's family tree, I saw you listed as his sister.

Dogma52 · Nov 17, 2014

My ex-MIL used this once on a guy....
"I've already got one asshole in my pants, why would I want another."

Suz_anne · Nov 17, 2014

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

tender_elf · Nov 17, 2014

Dogma52 said:
My ex-MIL used this once on a guy....
"I've already got one asshole in my pants, why would I want another."

I love your ex MIL

MSH2 · Nov 17, 2014

Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one, but that's no reason I'd be interested in yours

tender_elf · Nov 17, 2014

If you're going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.

MSH2 · Nov 17, 2014

And of course the evergreen "Neanderthal discovering he has opposable thumbs says what?"

greeneyedvirgin · Nov 17, 2014

I said this to someone once when they called me a smartass.

"Better a smartass than a dumbass."

Kitty · Nov 17, 2014

greeneyedvirgin said:
I said this to someone once when they called me a smartass.

"Better a smartass than a dumbass."

I've said that one before

greeneyedvirgin · Nov 17, 2014

This is one of my favorites.

"Only two things melt in the rain. Shit and sugar. And you are not sweet."

JennyNo1 · Nov 18, 2014

Scentofawoman · Nov 18, 2014

Excuse me, do I know you? Cause I have no idea why your talking to me :devil:

FoolMeOnce · Nov 18, 2014

Is that your breath? Or am I talking to the wrong end?

tender_elf · Nov 19, 2014

Your village called. their idiot is missing.

tender_elf · Nov 19, 2014

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

fullservice65 · Nov 19, 2014

Did you say something? I'm sorry -- I can't hear shit in this ear.

SherlockianMan · Nov 19, 2014

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

tender_elf · Nov 19, 2014

You should only speak good of the dead. He's dead? GOOD.

GothAngelBabe · Nov 29, 2014

I am really good at being bad, not bad at being good.

DarkrSide · Nov 29, 2014

A friend of mine taught me this one:

May your day be as pleasant as you are!

1sickbastard · Nov 29, 2014

If you went to a private school, you might want to think about suing them for a refund.

1sickbastard · Nov 29, 2014

You should be a porn star, because you're the biggest dick I've ever seen.

jameslewis · Nov 29, 2014

As in: I'm tired of all your drama.

Deprived_in_AZ · Nov 29, 2014

If my ass were as ugly as your face I'd be embarrassed to shit out of it.

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