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🙈😆Hilarious and Embarrassing Sex Stories. Share Them!!

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PrettyLilPussy

Guest
Sex is amazing and hot and sensual and erotic - but sometimes it's fucking hilarious.
Maybe not in the moment but later - we've all had something happen that still makes us laugh!

Whether its physical or cam or voice or text - tell us your giggle-worthy stories.
And please change the names to protect the innocent!

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Ok I'll start simple!

A long while ago, I was sexting with a guy - having to be a bit sneaky about it - and I wasn't doing enough proof reading. I never saw that every time I typed the word PUSSY is was auto-correcting to PUSHY.

He kindly waited until afterwards to point this out and ask if I noticed or if I was doing my best Sean Connery impression. LOL! :D I still think about that when my phone tries to be crazy!
 
Middle of the night my late partner was riding me like... Someone really enjoying riding a cock but being as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake the kids (no screaming "gidde up" ) ... We did not hear our daughter (maybe 2 at the time) open the door and walk into our room. Not sure how long she stood there in complete silence watching but at least it was winter so we were under the duvet. Partner goes and puts her back to bed and she never says a word about it until I'm reading one of her favourite Dr. Seuss books the next night... "We like to hop, we like to hop, on top of pop." she blurts out: "Just like mummy!" That book always makes me smile:)
 
TheMrBurns said:
Middle of the night my late partner was riding me like... Someone really enjoying riding a cock but being as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake the kids (no screaming "gidde up" ) ... We did not hear our daughter (maybe 2 at the time) open the door and walk into our room. Not sure how long she stood there in complete silence watching but at least it was winter so we were under the duvet. Partner goes and puts her back to bed and she never says a word about it until I'm reading one of her favourite Dr. Seuss books the next night... "We like to hop, we like to hop, on top of pop." she blurts out: "Just like mummy!" That book always makes me smile:)
Click to expand...

Lol!! I had a similar experience as a child and a few months later had a sister soo....
 
A girl I was 'seeing' in college and I were out partying one night. We ended up back in my bed and she was on top riding me. Apparently she was feeling very relaxed and had to ummm, pass gas, which she did! VERY LOUDLY!!! For some reason, I thought it funny and broke out into a fit of laughter, with tears rolling down my face, and couldn't stop. She didn't find it as funny as I did and got pretty upset. 😬 I guess she was embarrassed. Hey it happens. Anyway, I lost my 'inspiration' by the time I stopped laughing and she grabbed her things and left.

Not really embarrassing for me, but more awkward I guess. 😏
 
OldUncleJack said:
I Once said in an RP." I want to kick you all over"!:eek:
Click to expand...

Not a sex story, but this reminds me of something that happened when I was in 3rd grade. We were doing "Sleeping Beauty" as a play, but instead of "kiss her awake" I said I would "kick her awake." LOL
 
A few years ago, I got talking to a woman online and after a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, we decided to meet up and chose a hotel.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I needed a shower after a long, sticky journey. After a 20 minute shower, I came out of the room to find my date laid spread-eagled on the bed and shouted, "Hop On!"

I was stunned to say the least. Especially since I'd left her in the bar downstairs.
 
steelyblue73 said:
A girl I was 'seeing' in college and I were out partying one night. We ended up back in my bed and she was on top riding me. Apparently she was feeling very relaxed and had to ummm, pass gas, which she did! VERY LOUDLY!!! For some reason, I thought it funny and broke out into a fit of laughter, with tears rolling down my face, and couldn't stop. She didn't find it as funny as I did and got pretty upset. 😬 I guess she was embarrassed. Hey it happens. Anyway, I lost my 'inspiration' by the time I stopped laughing and she grabbed her things and left.

Not really embarrassing for me, but more awkward I guess. 😏
Click to expand...

Lol!! Poor girl.... you gotta learn to laugh!
 
AWonkyDonkey said:
A few years ago, I got talking to a woman online and after a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, we decided to meet up and chose a hotel.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I needed a shower after a long, sticky journey. After a 20 minute shower, I came out of the room to find my date laid spread-eagled on the bed and shouted, "Hop On!"

I was stunned to say the least. Especially since I'd left her in the bar downstairs.
Click to expand...

Lol! My kinda gal!
 
I will say a unnamed amount of time ago I was parked in a secluded part of a parking lot on the phone with a sexy man, having a sexy time and being rather *ahem* loud.

Well my eyes were closed - I was lost in pleasure! Jeez... When I opened them there was an old man on a wheelchair scooter parked right next to me!!! :eek::eek::eek:

OMG! I hope he thought all the yelling and cursing was because I was fighting with someone.
 
PrettyLilPussy said:
I will say a unnamed amount of time ago I was parked in a secluded part of a parking lot on the phone with a sexy man, having a sexy time and being rather *ahem* loud.

Well my eyes were closed - I was lost in pleasure! Jeez... When I opened them there was an old man on a wheelchair scooter parked right next to me!!! :eek::eek::eek:

OMG! I hope he thought all the yelling and cursing was because I was fighting with someone.
Click to expand...

LMAO umm just because he was in a wheelchair doesn't turn him stupid...lol Why do you think he chose to park next to you? lol
 
PrettyLilPussy said:
I will say a unnamed amount of time ago I was parked in a secluded part of a parking lot on the phone with a sexy man, having a sexy time and being rather *ahem* loud.

Well my eyes were closed - I was lost in pleasure! Jeez... When I opened them there was an old man on a wheelchair scooter parked right next to me!!! :eek::eek::eek:

OMG! I hope he thought all the yelling and cursing was because I was fighting with someone.
Click to expand...

Could have been worse... Could have been a cop... Been there, done that;)
 
PrettyLilPussy said:
I will say a unnamed amount of time ago I was parked in a secluded part of a parking lot on the phone with a sexy man, having a sexy time and being rather *ahem* loud.

Well my eyes were closed - I was lost in pleasure! Jeez... When I opened them there was an old man on a wheelchair scooter parked right next to me!!! :eek::eek::eek:

OMG! I hope he thought all the yelling and cursing was because I was fighting with someone.
Click to expand...

Wait, that was you????? :eek:
 
This wasn't me! But I still like the story that I used to see every once in a while where an elderly man was out in his yard working when he heard the faint pleas for help coming from his neighbors house.

He tried calling but no one answered. He knew someone was home. He knocked on the door and no one answered but he could still hear his female neighbor calling for help.

He finally found the sliding glass door in back unlocked and went inside and called for her. Her desperate cries could now be heard more clearly and he made his way to their bedroom. He stopped dead in his tracks and took in the scene unfolded before him. He first saw her, naked, spread eagled and tied to the bed. Then finally he saw her husband flat on the floor and unconscious.

It seemed they were into a little role play and he had dress up, climbed up on the dresser and yelled "I'm batman!" as he attempted to jump to the bed.

The problem is, he didn't account for the ceiling fan whirling away at high speed and as he jumped...the blade slammed into his head and he went straight down and couldn't catch himself and his face hit the floor hard knocking him out.

I just cannot imagine the look on the elderly man's face when he found them nor the look of terror of the woman calling for help to be found in such a compromising position. This was a story on the internet years ago...I can only hope that it was true!
 
My most hilarious sex story is the fact when we were first married, we had lots of hand-me-downs to help fill our rooms including a great antique bed.

During one vigorous session where my wife was very very into the ride she was giving me and exaggerating her movements to that....well I was getting quite a bouncing boob show when all of the sudden the bed gave in and we crashed to the floor.

The antique bed had no metal rails, just a wooden strip that the slats rested on. During her bouncing, she had just the right tempo and rhythm to break the side piece on the board causing it to slam one side down and throw us off the bed.

It was funny then but even funnier when my wife asked the bed salesman if the new bed came with a metal frame. We both instantly cracked up at her concern.
 
Matt_Next_Door said:
This wasn't me! But I still like the story that I used to see every once in a while where an elderly man was out in his yard working when he heard the faint pleas for help coming from his neighbors house.

He tried calling but no one answered. He knew someone was home. He knocked on the door and no one answered but he could still hear his female neighbor calling for help.

He finally found the sliding glass door in back unlocked and went inside and called for her. Her desperate cries could now be heard more clearly and he made his way to their bedroom. He stopped dead in his tracks and took in the scene unfolded before him. He first saw her, naked, spread eagled and tied to the bed. Then finally he saw her husband flat on the floor and unconscious.

It seemed they were into a little role play and he had dress up, climbed up on the dresser and yelled "I'm batman!" as he attempted to jump to the bed.

The problem is, he didn't account for the ceiling fan whirling away at high speed and as he jumped...the blade slammed into his head and he went straight down and couldn't catch himself and his face hit the floor hard knocking him out.

I just cannot imagine the look on the elderly man's face when he found them nor the look of terror of the woman calling for help to be found in such a compromising position. This was a story on the internet years ago...I can only hope that it was true!
Click to expand...

Lol!! I suggest you read Geralds Game by Stephen King. ;)
 
With my ex of 5 years, I took her anal virginity and I got deep inside her. When I got in the groove I smelled shit, I understood the first time, comforted her and washed up. We tried again and I felt something, when I pulled out I saw more shit on my dick, I was slightly frustrated, but supportive. We washed up and tried again. Third time it happened again, I saw like c'mon now, we put the shower novel in her and flushed her out. When I got inside her I fucked her hard and came inside her, I was relieved and drained. I felt so sorry for her, she wanted it, but was in a lot of pain. I held her and comforted her the whole night.
 
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