exploring a sub wife relationship
- Thread starter Hwyking
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You said “seems to be into”? Is she giving you hints or has just come out and told you?
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cookiecat
Literotica Guru
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Just talk to her about it. Sort of like if she were getting in to sky diving but you weren't in to it.
You leave a lot out - have you spanked her, tied her up? Is this new?? I mean, you're in a serious relationship but didn't know this about her?
As a side note - being submissive isn't necessarily about getting tied up and spanked. Anyone - even regular 'ole folks who aren't "submissive" - can be in to bondage and spanking and sensation play. It can just be a different side of sex.
Submission - for me - is about putting my partner's needs before mine, in sex and in life. I'm guessing we're talking sex, here.
If you're going to pursue tying her up, spanking her - what are you getting out of it? Perhaps she needs to "submit" to you!!
Tie her hands behind her back, push her over the couch, pull down her panties and spank her... in return, with her hands still tied behind her back, her butt hot and red - let's say you haven't touched her pussy at all so she's really really wet (or maybe you've teased her just a bit) - she needs to suck your cock. As a reward for doing a good job, you'll allow her to cum.
Just an example. There really has to be something in it for you to enjoy it too.
You leave a lot out - have you spanked her, tied her up? Is this new?? I mean, you're in a serious relationship but didn't know this about her?
As a side note - being submissive isn't necessarily about getting tied up and spanked. Anyone - even regular 'ole folks who aren't "submissive" - can be in to bondage and spanking and sensation play. It can just be a different side of sex.
Submission - for me - is about putting my partner's needs before mine, in sex and in life. I'm guessing we're talking sex, here.
If you're going to pursue tying her up, spanking her - what are you getting out of it? Perhaps she needs to "submit" to you!!
Tie her hands behind her back, push her over the couch, pull down her panties and spank her... in return, with her hands still tied behind her back, her butt hot and red - let's say you haven't touched her pussy at all so she's really really wet (or maybe you've teased her just a bit) - she needs to suck your cock. As a reward for doing a good job, you'll allow her to cum.
Just an example. There really has to be something in it for you to enjoy it too.
I’ll fill in a few blanks. I have spanked Kate’s as several times while doing her doggie, and she always orgasms and squirts hard. I have also spanked her pussy and boobs a few times and that is something she loves. I don’t want to come across as someone who enjoys spanking women even though it turns me on to turn her on. I just don’t know if I want to get into the whole kinky side of a relationship. I guess my thing is talking about it on sites like this and I’d love to post pics of her tied up.
Nezhul
Angry Flufferpuff
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I have a few general tips for you.
First of all, it's important to understand what she wants exactly. If she's into BDSM in general or if she just likes a bit of rough sex. Wanting to be held down and wanting to be tied down may be two very different desires from person to person. Liking a few light spanks and being put over the knee and spanked hard - is another example. Many women get turned on by the former, but not everyone - by the latter.
So yeah, talk to her. Tell her that if she likes that - you are there for her to explore.
Second very important thing - don't feel bad about yourself. As long as you are making your SO happy, it doesn't matter what path leads there. It may be tender kisses, or it may be hard spanking - both arephysical stimulation that she likes, that she craves. It doesn't make you a bad man for hitting or hurting her. Even if she's a Submissive who wants to be caned to tears - you are doing good, as long as she likes that. You are fulfilling your wife's dreams. There's nothing bad about that.
Kind of following the previous point, there's a way to feel less bad about what you do. It comes with Knowledge. I can't stress it enough - before doing anything kinky, spend 5 minutes online and google some tips how to do that properly. Every smallest thing - just research. This will make you more confident in your actions, and this will teach you what to pay attention to. For example if you google Spanking you may be put a little bit at ease by the fact that it's really hard to damage something through that. But you may also find a warning that there are certain areas (like kidney zone) that shouldn't ever be spanked or flogged.
If you find that you aren't into pain at all - don't give up on BDSM and fetish entirely. It's not all about pain! There are a lot of BDSM techniques that deal purely in restraint, bondage and pleasure. Do research what BDSM can offer you and your wife, and try things.
Actually, that's the next good advice. Try stuff. Even if you both think that you aren't into fetish, even if she says that she's not a submissive - try stuff. Sometimes people discover their true passions in places that they never thought to look before. Don't stop experimenting, but don't be discouraged if something doesn't work - just put it away, or try it some other time. No one says that you HAVE to have a kinky playtime if you decided on it. Your session may very well end up in a tender vanilla sex instead, if you feel like it.
Good luck!
First of all, it's important to understand what she wants exactly. If she's into BDSM in general or if she just likes a bit of rough sex. Wanting to be held down and wanting to be tied down may be two very different desires from person to person. Liking a few light spanks and being put over the knee and spanked hard - is another example. Many women get turned on by the former, but not everyone - by the latter.
So yeah, talk to her. Tell her that if she likes that - you are there for her to explore.
Second very important thing - don't feel bad about yourself. As long as you are making your SO happy, it doesn't matter what path leads there. It may be tender kisses, or it may be hard spanking - both arephysical stimulation that she likes, that she craves. It doesn't make you a bad man for hitting or hurting her. Even if she's a Submissive who wants to be caned to tears - you are doing good, as long as she likes that. You are fulfilling your wife's dreams. There's nothing bad about that.
Kind of following the previous point, there's a way to feel less bad about what you do. It comes with Knowledge. I can't stress it enough - before doing anything kinky, spend 5 minutes online and google some tips how to do that properly. Every smallest thing - just research. This will make you more confident in your actions, and this will teach you what to pay attention to. For example if you google Spanking you may be put a little bit at ease by the fact that it's really hard to damage something through that. But you may also find a warning that there are certain areas (like kidney zone) that shouldn't ever be spanked or flogged.
If you find that you aren't into pain at all - don't give up on BDSM and fetish entirely. It's not all about pain! There are a lot of BDSM techniques that deal purely in restraint, bondage and pleasure. Do research what BDSM can offer you and your wife, and try things.
Actually, that's the next good advice. Try stuff. Even if you both think that you aren't into fetish, even if she says that she's not a submissive - try stuff. Sometimes people discover their true passions in places that they never thought to look before. Don't stop experimenting, but don't be discouraged if something doesn't work - just put it away, or try it some other time. No one says that you HAVE to have a kinky playtime if you decided on it. Your session may very well end up in a tender vanilla sex instead, if you feel like it.
Good luck!
Love the idea of making her submit to my sexual wishes. Having her suck my cock and maybe spanking her ass to make sure she was doing it right would be fun for both of us. The timing up part is a fantasy we both have and I want to explore that as well. My issue is that I also get turned on at the thought of posting pics for other guys to enjoy and I don’t think she would be into that. Any thoughts.
I’ll check out your story and thank you for the very incitful advice. Always a pleasure to communicate with intelligent and sensitive people. Big hug and a light spank. Lol
