new master looking for some info

Ok me and my wife have just started to get into the whole lifestyle. what i'm wondering is what a actual session involves (the typical scene for a couple). my wife likes being tired up and used. she doesn't have alot of limits. i know them and we have discussed what is appropriate and what is not. now we have 2 small kids and dont get much time alone. so we havent had the opportunity to explore everything. we have been married for 5 years now so we have tried alot. but i look online at some clubs ( more for exploring new things and getting ideas we can do at home) and wonder what a scene at a bdsm club is like. we would like to push our limits and explore new areas of the life style. and kind of solidify our roles as master and slave. at home and every day life we are equals, but in the bedroom i am the dom and her my slave.

Every scene, and even every couple, is different. There are many activities you can do, from flogging to fisting, watersports to waterboarding. But there's no defined way it should happen. Do learn about the different activities you can do, but do them in the way that satisfies you and your wife most. Maybe that means a lot of foreplay and aftercare, maybe you guys just want to hurry through the scene and get off as quickly as possible. It's up to you both.

If you're looking for a local scene you'll have more luck on Fetlife.com (facebook for kinksters). There are loads of local groups. Munches are where like minded people meet somewhere like a bar to socialise. Club nights or fetish events would be more what you're looking for. Once you venture into those arenas though, you never know who you're going to bump into. You need to be prepared to handle it if you manage to encounter someone you know. Also, at public events you're at risk of being photographed or filmed and those can wind up online. Whether you're performing or observing, you still run a risk of being 'outed.' I'm really not trying to scare you off but there's really no way to take your kinks to a public arena without a degree of risk.

Anonymaso said:

If you're looking for a local scene you'll have more luck on Fetlife.com (facebook for kinksters). There are loads of local groups. Munches are where like minded people meet somewhere like a bar to socialise. Club nights or fetish events would be more what you're looking for. Once you venture into those arenas though, you never know who you're going to bump into. You need to be prepared to handle it if you manage to encounter someone you know. Also, at public events you're at risk of being photographed or filmed and those can wind up online. Whether you're performing or observing, you still run a risk of being 'outed.' I'm really not trying to scare you off but there's really no way to take your kinks to a public arena without a degree of risk.

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FWIW, most public play spaces have and enforce a no photography rule. Some, like Studio 58 in Maryland, have official photographers - but no personal photography is allowed. Ditto for events like TES, Dark Odyssey, etc.

I am in agreement with those that recommend Fet Life. I can not take my sub to any functions as she has a very public job that could be jeopardized if our person desires were to become public knowledge. I enjoy fet life and attend local munches and attend instructional classes. Munches are a safe place to meet lifestyle adults where you can ask questions, learn about upcoming events and classes.

Kink and BDSM is only limited by the mind. For fun I gave my sub 20 dollars and set her free in the 99 cent store and told her to buy toys. She came back with all sorts of things that could be used. One thing that she came back with was duct tape. May I suggest that if you are going to use duct tape to wrap the area you are going to tape with paper first so you don’t hurt her/him when removing the tape. They do make bondage tape but it’s not sold at the 99 cent store. She also had rope, a paddle, blind fold and other items.


As a retired investigator may I warn you just because a shop, restaurant, club or any establishment has signage posting no cameras doesn’t mean that someone isn’t taking copying your image. Spy cameras are almost impossible to spot! I’m surprised that no one mentioned safety. Fet life has classes on; care, after care and safety. If not ask the local munch organizer for assistance in have a class. With bondage always have a safe way to remove restraints in the event of a panic attack.

Just my two cents.