need help with 'B' aspect

Ok looking for some advice and maybe more ! My wife and I have a Sub/Dom relationship. Im dom by nature but not in some of the areas she would like and in particular with respect to the Bondage side of things ! She is very into bondage from a sub perspective but Im not sure how to develop that part of my self ! So do I just look for inspiration around here and other places or do I find her someone to provide for that part of her needs ? Genuine replies would be a great help !

What does you wife hope to get of bondage? The appropriate answer to your question depends upon your reply to this. She can be tied up as a statement of her submissiveness. She can be tied up because she simply wants to be helpless and to struggle against this. She can be tied up so she has to endure humiliation, discomfort or even pain. She can be tied into a tight harness because she simply enjoys the feeling of being restricted. She can be tied up to heighten her sense of anticipation knowing that her partner is in complete control of what happens to her next. She can be tied up so she has to endure things being done to her that she could not otherwise cope with: these can be painful or intensely pleasurable.

Your wife probably wants more than one of these but each needs a different approach. Some of these require elaborate rope work and pretty knots or padlocks and lengths of heavy looking chain, some call for restraints designed to minimise the chances of her injuring herself on her bonds, some need an artistic eye and a deft hand, some a reasonable knowledge of anatomy and physiology. Most require some practice and all need a safe-word or safe gesture.

As with so many things on Lit you need to begin with a long serious conversation about what exactly your wife is expecting and once you understand that what to do next will become far more obvious.

Well, here's my two cents:

1) Buy 4 leather cuffs for wrists and ankles - they are very good to start off.

2) there are sites with bondage techniques using rope. What you want to do, is open such tutorial on a laptop of a tablet, get a rope, sit your wife in front of you and train. Basically playing with rope without doing sex, practicing ties and knots, seeing for yourself when each of them can be useful.
Just set aside an hour every few days just for training - with no sex. You can have sex at the end of it, but both of you need to understand that what you do is learning.
After awhile you will start seeing lots of room for improvisation.

3) don't leave your sub tied up even for a minute. Don't turn your back on her or get your eyes off her.

4) Have a pair of scissors (for rope) handy when you play.

5) start with simple ties. Hands behind her back, legs frogtied. That sort of thing.

Don't start spending money until you know what both of you are looking for.

BDSM isn't a singular experience. Hell, the "name" is an amalgam of three different interests, each with it's own spectrum, and those three don't even come close to addressing everything under the umbrella. Said another way, why buy a set of handcuffs if she wants to fight and be manhandled?

Start where every relationship needs to start, communication; open, honest and up front. And be ready for it to be hard for one or both of you to say what you want deep down. Sometimes, admitting something is much harder than doing it.

There are a number of good tools, the checklist is an old standby in the BDSM community, for good reason. Have a look at the link below. For my money, the checklist tagged "On Google Drive" is by far the best. My advice, fill them out separately, swap, then come together to discuss.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/encyclopedia/checklist/

Whatever you do, be respectful. Often, a person's most intense fantasy desires are their most unassailable limits. i.e., just because your wife reaches orgasm easily while you're describing loaning yet to a biker gang does not mean she wants you to loan her out to the local Pagans chapter for real.

Once you know what you want, what both of you want, then comes the hard part. Discovering for yourself if you can be who she needs you to be. And, assuming you can be, then devoting yourself to learning how to safely do what you both want to do.

My advice past the communication:
- Take everything with a grain of salt,
- There are some good online resources, but no one on line knows you or your spouse like you do,
- The Laws of Physics makes some things impossible for some people, just the truth,
- There is no"one right way", nor are there dozens of ways; there are in fact only two ways, the ways that work for you and your spouse, and those that don't.

As to finding your spouse a playmate, I'll give you the benefit of doubt and assume that your original post isn't just a thin veil for a personal ad. BDSM shouldn't be seen as an excuse for an open relationship, or whatever the cool kids are calling them these days. If neither you nor your spouse would consider an open relationship absent BDSM, then there is no magic bullet to bondage that will make it work either.

Someone posted this on another thread, go to Home Depot, Lowes, or maybe Walmart and get a 15-20 foot strip of peel and stick Velcro. cut them to the right size for wrists and ankles and peel both sides and stick them together. You may never need anything else, this might spark something that gets you into more bondage.

Bondage isn't that difficult. As others have mentioned, there is a safety aspect. Start simple. We bought a Velcro thing off the internet you tuck between mattress and box spring. Easy use for both wrists and ankles.

You don't have to be a super sailor and learn rigging and knots. Bondage can be as small as thumb or toe cuffs (yup, like mini handcuffs), depending on the goal. It's amazing how something so simple can yield effective tied up feelings.

I agree you need to figure out what her desire for bondage is. But that's part of the fun. Maybe look at bondage images together, find out what she enjoys? Does she want to be tied up so you can play with her? Is she interested in being tied to a chair and left alone? Ankles shackled as she makes you dinner?

I just googled "how to tie someone up bdsm" and a million things popped up. Wade through that info, too. Looked like there were some how to things on you tube.

Have fun!

PS - as to finding someone else.... If you're involved in your kinky community, it could be fun to explore together. Where I live, we have rope classes, newbie munches, Again, depends what the two of you are looking for.

Rope can seem intimidating and difficult, but it's actually not. You can learn some basic ties online, and there's a good chance there'll be a class or group in your local area. If you and your wife are comfortable with it, lots of people go just to be tied. Nothing particularly sexual - they just like the feeling of restraint.