Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...

[RedHairedandFriendly]

ohh the other day i got one he said

"Im veral, are you ovualting?"

LOL - Wow. Some of these just make me raise an eyebrow.

Sorry Red, I broke a rule and named a name above, but I fixed my post and the PMer is now protected.

It's okay. No worries. Sometimes I think I should remove that rule, but other times I think - well maybe the guy will come back and be a gentleman someday. Only twice has a man come back on here and gotten verbal with me. One a couple months ago (or so) and one several years ago. Most men don't want to admit they send this crap to women, and some have admitted and posted that they don't anymore.

I think what bothers me the most is that men think we ladies group all the random PMs from men into one category - asses - that's not true.

I don't do that.

I group random PMers men and women who send me asinine garbage they wouldn't use in a bar, or they just tell me their age/location/and whatever else they want to reveal all in one group - they don't realize that they are grouping all women into one group as well - a group of women that want shit flying in their boxes from strangers.

If they would just take the time to post, or hell even LURK on one female besides casting their rod out and seeing what lady bites back, they'd have a better chance with a response.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Oh yes, please do and be sure to toss him a link to this thread as well.



Yikes this sounds scary and icky. lol

You got one too!!

I am hanging out in the wrong places, to miss out on such fine craftsmanshit (and no that is not a misspelling).

Its pretty interesting lets just say.... and confusing and oddly ummmm hell its just ummmm

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Its pretty interesting lets just say.... and confusing and oddly ummmm hell its just ummmm

Good grief - post the darn thing. lol That's what the thread is for and give him a link. lol

 

[Daizie]

LOL - Wow. Some of these just make me raise an eyebrow.


It's okay. No worries. Sometimes I think I should remove that rule, but other times I think - well maybe the guy will come back and be a gentleman someday. Only twice has a man come back on here and gotten verbal with me. One a couple months ago (or so) and one several years ago. Most men don't want to admit they send this crap to women, and some have admitted and posted that they don't anymore.

I think what bothers me the most is that men think we ladies group all the random PMs from men into one category - asses - that's not true.

I don't do that.

I group random PMers men and women who send me asinine garbage they wouldn't use in a bar, or they just tell me their age/location/and whatever else they want to reveal all in one group - they don't realize that they are grouping all women into one group as well - a group of women that want shit flying in their boxes from strangers.

If they would just take the time to post, or hell even LURK on one female besides casting their rod out and seeing what lady bites back, they'd have a better chance with a response.

That sums it up perfectly.
Yeah, I inadvertently named him due to the topic at hand. Then I realized what I'd done and went back to fix, just in case. Don't need any unnecessary hassles for me or you.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

That sums it up perfectly.
Yeah, I inadvertently named him due to the topic at hand. Then I realized what I'd done and went back to fix, just in case. Don't need any unnecessary hassles for me or you.

It's all good.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Good grief - post the darn thing. lol That's what the thread is for and give him a link. lol

I got delete crazy and deleted the damn thing without thinking AG you still have it?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I got delete crazy and deleted the damn thing without thinking AG you still have it?

I understand. I've done the same thing and I started the thread. lol

 

[Aquagal]

Okay...here's the infamous poem

upright
knees 1 foot apart
weight on toes (not top of foot)
butt barely resting on heels
hands open on your thighs
back straight-good posture
head slightly down

 

[TexasWife25]

Okay...here's the infamous poem

upright
knees 1 foot apart
weight on toes (not top of foot)
butt barely resting on heels
hands open on your thighs
back straight-good posture
head slightly down

lol this poor guy
he just lost his A game

lol dont you know hes looking for
"models"

 

[Aurantica]

Okay...here's the infamous poem

upright
knees 1 foot apart
weight on toes (not top of foot)
butt barely resting on heels
hands open on your thighs
back straight-good posture
head slightly down

I think a suitable response would be " Good boy. Now lean forward and lick my pussy."

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Okay...here's the infamous poem

upright
knees 1 foot apart
weight on toes (not top of foot)
butt barely resting on heels
hands open on your thighs
back straight-good posture
head slightly down

Oh my - well NOW I feel really less special than before. I did get this, but it took me 3 PMs of politeness before his character showed through. It started out with a nice PM about one of my BDSM stories, very innocent and so I responded and told him I appreciated his comment. He then responded back that he noticed I had other work in that same category so he was going to read those. I said, thanks - again all is fine no "funny business" - I think it was the 3rd one (if memory serves correctly) that he said my writing was great, but he would suggest this stance: and sent me that stuff you just posted. Of course with that PM I knew what was up, so I politely responded back, and got one more from him saying he wasn't criticizing my work, just suggesting. I told him thanks and that was the end of it.

 

[poisonplum]

One I just got the other day said

"So what's all this poison business about? Are you like some black widow or something? I bet I could tame the shrew. If you wanna find out how, get at me."

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

One I just got the other day said

"So what's all this poison business about? Are you like some black widow or something? I bet I could tame the shrew. If you wanna find out how, get at me."

*snerk* "get at me" Some folks think way too highly of themselves.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

The most recent amusing one was a guy whom I am sure I have never spoken to, nor seen before, PMing me telling me we had a connection awhile ago and he hasn't forgotten.......and then he proceeded to write me a dirty story without any response from me.........I am not even sure he wanted my involvement as much as he wanted he seemed quite into it all by himself *chuckles*

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

The most recent amusing one was a guy whom I am sure I have never spoken to, nor seen before, PMing me telling me we had a connection awhile ago and he hasn't forgotten.......and then he proceeded to write me a dirty story without any response from me.........I am not even sure he wanted my involvement as much as he wanted he seemed quite into it all by himself *chuckles*

I love having those mysterious connections.


I really hate it when people PM me stories without my permission. I don't even read them unless I know the Litster and I've accepted their stories in the past, and only ONE man on Lit. is allowed to randomly send me erotic stories he's written without asking me beforehand.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

its almost as fun as the ones who keep trying to convince you that you really really want to fuck them via pm but clearly you just don't know it yet *laughs* oooh well its the unique types that make the world go around.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

its almost as fun as the ones who keep trying to convince you that you really really want to fuck them via pm but clearly you just don't know it yet *laughs* oooh well its the unique types that make the world go around.

*chuckles* Exactly.

 

[Aquagal]

Oh my - well NOW I feel really less special than before. I did get this, but it took me 3 PMs of politeness before his character showed through. It started out with a nice PM about one of my BDSM stories, very innocent and so I responded and told him I appreciated his comment. He then responded back that he noticed I had other work in that same category so he was going to read those. I said, thanks - again all is fine no "funny business" - I think it was the 3rd one (if memory serves correctly) that he said my writing was great, but he would suggest this stance: and sent me that stuff you just posted. Of course with that PM I knew what was up, so I politely responded back, and got one more from him saying he wasn't criticizing my work, just suggesting. I told him thanks and that was the end of it.

Several months ago he asked me to marry him in the first PM. Oh I was so giddy with anticipation! Planning the wedding and such. Imagine the stab in the heart when I hear my friend of the SNAPPING and BOOBY variety got the same proposal. Sigh....Always a bridesmaid.....

 

[kara1234]

Okay...here's the infamous poem

upright
knees 1 foot apart
weight on toes (not top of foot)
butt barely resting on heels
hands open on your thighs
back straight-good posture
head slightly down

I got this one, too. And I thought I was special . . .
I couldn't figure it out.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

Several months ago he asked me to marry him in the first PM. Oh I was so giddy with anticipation! Planning the wedding and such. Imagine the stab in the heart when I hear my friend of the SNAPPING and BOOBY variety got the same proposal. Sigh....Always a bridesmaid.....

I am sorry but LOL

I have had similar things happen, but the bit that gets me is how they assume you naive or so starved for attention that a few flowery words and OVER the top romantic gestures will have you throwing your thighs apart and screaming his name.

Those truly are usually the ones I love fucking with back and even occasionally do play all innocent and sweet.....till they grow tired of attempts or they hang themselves by slipping up and showing true intentions, especially in RP situations not here on lit.......because sadly this isn't the only realm online that such attempts are made.

 

[llidar]

Actually there are two. The first one, recently said one word:

POKE - *what the hell was that supposed to mean...like in the eye or something *


The other was a while ago.

Someone pm'd me that he could cause me to have an orgasm without touching myself or describing what I would do to him.


OKAY... I told him if he had that ability, he was wasting his time on LIT...and reminded him of the old saying about if something seemed to good to be true, it usually was...

 

[1sickbastard]

My best is rather boring; 'Hello'

Not terribly creative, I know, but it has the advantage of being straightforward and not being complete bullshit.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Several months ago he asked me to marry him in the first PM. Oh I was so giddy with anticipation! Planning the wedding and such. Imagine the stab in the heart when I hear my friend of the SNAPPING and BOOBY variety got the same proposal. Sigh....Always a bridesmaid.....

I've only been asked once. It was from a guy who posts here often and sent it just to be nice. Like a pity proposal.

Actually there are two. The first one, recently said one word:

POKE - *what the hell was that supposed to mean...like in the eye or something *


The other was a while ago.

Someone pm'd me that he could cause me to have an orgasm without touching myself or describing what I would do to him.


OKAY... I told him if he had that ability, he was wasting his time on LIT...and reminded him of the old saying about if something seemed to good to be true, it usually was...

Poke - *snickers*


Oh please - I would so have loved to heard how he planned on doing that. I've only done that to myself once and that was via writing a story, and I know damn well I climaxed more than once during that bit of naughtiness.

My best is rather boring; 'Hello'

Not terribly creative, I know, but it has the advantage of being straightforward and not being complete bullshit.

Hello --

simple yes, boring somewhat, straightforward - hmm... I don't know.

For me, hello gets a hello back, and nothing more.

Then usually I get back a "how are you?" or "how r u?"

My answer: Fine

Next PM "What r u doin?"

My answer: Posting

Next PM: "What do u like?"

--- By this point I'm annoyed and tired. I definitely feel I'm either about to be hit on, or I'm only being PMed for one thing and one thing only. I'm just some random woman on the internet that was only worth a "hello" - there is nothing in that PM to say that the PMer knew anything about me, except my name.

 

[TexasWife25]

Actually there are two. The first one, recently said one word:

POKE - *what the hell was that supposed to mean...like in the eye or something *


The other was a while ago.

Someone pm'd me that he could cause me to have an orgasm without touching myself or describing what I would do to him.


OKAY... I told him if he had that ability, he was wasting his time on LIT...and reminded him of the old saying about if something seemed to good to be true, it usually was...

LOL
i got the orgasam one too
i PMed him ... ok, got for it
and then he said he needed my yahoo because
"isnt this forum just too impersonal"

 

[llidar]

LOL
i got the orgasam one too
i PMed him ... ok, got for it
and then he said he needed my yahoo because
"isnt this forum just too impersonal"

THANK YOU, Now I'm doubly happy I did not pursue it any further....