Writing a story based on an personal, recent encounter

[bestkeptsecret678]

I'll just say I had memorable experience earlier this week, worthy of a quick story told in first person. I'm cautious however about not being guilty of kiss-and-tell. The other party knows I publish here, I even encouraged her to do the same, which she may or may not do. I provided a link to my Lit stories, so assume some level of visiblity.

My instinct is to reach out to her and get permission to tell the tale, change the names, etc. But if the answer is no, I don't get to do it (damn). Or... I could just do it anyway. But if taken the wrong way, risk not having the chance for a repeat performance, which I very much hope for. Or... I could write it, send the draft to her along with my request for permission.

Surely I'm not the first Lit author to ask this classic question of permission versus forgiveness.

 

[StillStunned]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

 

[ElectricBlue]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

This. If you publish, you should always have your partner's blessing or a good solid understanding between you.

 

[Seadog777]

That is just plain and simply a terrible idea.

Keep it as a fond memory to yourself.

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

well said.

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

Nothing like a quick and decisive view from the community. This is why AH is worth my time. Thanks for the comments.

 

[KeithD]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

I think this, because even in thinking about it you're showing worry about the effect it might have on a real relationship. This worry isn't misguided. Think hard on what effect this may have on a real relationship and proceed very carefully. It's a genie that can't be stuffed back in the bottle once it's out. Maybe it's no big deal, though.

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

After further consideration, I plan to write it, send the draft to her with full authority to say yes or no and live with the decision.

 

[AchtungNight]

I agree with the above posters other than the OP. Some of my stories are based on real experiences, but those happened a long time ago and are about relationships with no chance of revival. That was true before I wrote the stories. In one case, I did ask an ex if she minded and she said it was ok because we were never getting back together and were still amicable friends. She has also reconciled herself with the end of our relationship and recognized that my writing is part of me doing the same. I also changed the names, yada yada. On my other stories I have either lost touch with the people involved or am sure they don’t care. No, I will not say which stories I’m referring to- speculate as you will. No, none are in the Fanfic category.

Good luck with your story, bestkeptsecret678. Hope your relationship survives and you respect her opinion on whether or not you should publish.

 

[jehoram]

After further consideration, I plan to write it, send the draft to her with full authority to say yes or no and live with the decision.

That's what I would do.

 

[intim8]

After further consideration, I plan to write it, send the draft to her with full authority to say yes or no and live with the decision.

I wouldn't even do that. Just ask, you know you should. Then if she agrees, write the draft and ask her again if she wants anything changed.

This is a kissing cousin to the discussions here about plagiarism. In a sense, you two wrote a story together, a private story. So you need permission to use it.

But there's another reason not to do the draft first. You show her that, and you're showing her your point of view of the encounter. You may find that it is very different than how she saw it, and the result of that could go a bunch of different ways.

If you want to do that for reasons other than publishing the story, fine, but if not, no need to take the chance of baring your soul to her like that if she's going to flat out refuse to give her blessing to publishing it.

Aaaaannnd... another story idea just popped into my head.

 

[EmilyMiller]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

This

 

[tenyari]

After further consideration, I plan to write it, send the draft to her with full authority to say yes or no and live with the decision.

I would talk to her BEFORE writing it.

As someone who's actually been handed a fully written 'fanfic' piece before based on one of my stories (rather than a real life event), it came as a rough shock. That was 20 years ago and it's still what I first think of when that other person comes to mind.

Writing up the whole story before talking to her could lead to a weird feeling. I'm sure you mean to record a fond memory, but to the other person it could feel stalker-ish, even if they know that's not the intent.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Writing a story based on an personal, recent encounter​

It’s not really the same thing, but on here @Bazzle was one of several people who was kind enough to give me feedback on whether my attempt to write a 40 something mom with two kids was in any way close to an actual parenting experience.

He kinda liked the framework of my story and asked if he could borrow it. I said sure. But… if he had sent me a completed story and only asked for my blessing then, I’d have felt pressured. And I think I might have said no.

I think this is worth bearing in mind.

Emily

 

[Bazzle]

It’s not really the same thing, but on here @Bazzle was one of several people who was kind enough to give me feedback on whether my attempt to write a 40 something mom with two kids was in any way close to an actual parenting experience.

He kinda liked the framework of my story and asked if he could borrow it. I said sure. But… if he had sent me a completed story and only asked for my blessing then, I’d have felt pressured. And I think I might have said no.

I think this is worth bearing in mind.

Emily

If she had said no, I wouldn't have written it!

 

[MyBareTorso]

Risking the chance of more *real* sex by writing about it here??!!! Now, that's a committed Literotica Author!!!!

 

[elizaloo]

I've already given @bestkeptsecret678 my opinion, which was to send it to her and let her read it as well as give her editorial privileges...BKS is the furthest thing from 'kiss and tell' I can imagine...so my take on the situation is a bit different than most if not all of the previous comments.

Having said that - I've been more than frank about how everything I write and publish here is based on my personal encounters...whether it's a spark from a situation, a person, a word..what have you. I've never asked permission nor has anyone I have written about (other than my husband, who reads everything anyway) even know they've been the subject of an erotic story. As well as the fact that I've been asked to write about a specific person "Owen Issues a Challenge" being only one example.

It's all bits and pieces of my life and while there is a small chance that 'someone' might read it and recognize themselves, it's so unlikely that they'd be affronted with my poetic license of an encounter we might have had 30 years ago....or yesterday