Would you want to know?

Cardinal

Really Experienced
Joined
Oct 13, 2001
Posts
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Would you want to know if you husband, wife, partner, lover, or friend, had ever had a homosexual experience?
If your answer is yes would you feel:

a) turned on
b) disgusted
c) want to hear all about it
d) not suprised
e) want to see pictures!
 
Yes

My s/o and I share everything with each other. We are able to share stories about our past and keep them in the past....I don't look negatively on anything he has done in the past because he is such a wonderful person, and I understand that everything he has ever done in his life is a part of what makes him who he is today...In fact, it seems that sharing past sexual experiences has, more often than not, led us to an experience of our own. *wink*


:D Reina
 
Yes

This topic just gets lumped into wanting to know EVERYTHING about my S/O. We are the people we are as a result of many varied experiences, and I find that sharing the stories of the different adventures of our past helps strengthens our trust in each other, and provides information about the influences that have affected us.

Discussions like this will often allow us to release any burdens or guilt that might have followed us, and bonds us tighter as a couple.
 
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Re: Yes

JennyOmanHill said:

I find that sharing the stories of the different adventures of our past helps strengthens our trust in each

couple.


Jenny...that is so true. You really have to trust someone to open up to them and let them know everything about you. When I think of everything Wise and I have shared, it just proves to me the strength of our relationship and how we have the utmost respect and trust in each other.


*smile* Reina
 
what is your obsession with starting so many threads last night about homosexual experiences? Whay must you ask everyone else, and NOT make a statement yourself, about what is OBVIOUSLY weighing heavy on your mind?
 
why is it relevant

Cardinal--

Are there existing circumstances why I would ask the question? My partner's past is just that--past. If he is my partner, we have already discussed our health, safety, and what arrangement we have as a couple.

Peace,

daughter
 
It's age dependant!

When I was 15
c) want to hear all about it

When I was 18
a) turned on

When I was 30
b) disgusted

When I was 40
d) not suprised

Now damnit!
e) want to see pictures!
 
I really don't care about his past sexual experiences. If he chooses to share them, fine. But I'm not asking.
 
I agree with what most have said, "The past is the past". I wouldn't ask him about it. However, if he chose/wanted to tell me, I would listen. How would I feel about it? I honestly don't know.
 
Telling everything

Another point, has anyone ever been overwhelmed by too much information.

Being willing to be open about your life and views, does not mean a floodgate. I have made the mistake of flooding a partner with too much information or irrelevant information in the past. How do I know it was too much or something my partner preferred not to know? Because he said so.

I'm not opposed to hearing about past relationships and behaviors. It the context in which it is shared that concerns me. Furthermore, I think it is a mistake to assume that your partner feels the same way you do about divulged information. I believe in being sensitive to people's emotional boundaries. It isn't a question of being right, wrong, strong, weak or open-minded. Emotions don't follow rules or logic. They simply are. I try to respect that.

Peace,

daughter
 
Re: Telling everything

daughter said:
Another point, has anyone ever been overwhelmed by too much information.

Being willing to be open about your life and views, does not mean a floodgate. I have made the mistake of flooding a partner with too much information or irrelevant information in the past. How do I know it was too much or something my partner preferred not to know? Because he said so.

I'm not opposed to hearing about past relationships and behaviors. It the context in which it is shared that concerns me. Furthermore, I think it is a mistake to assume that your partner feels the same way you do about divulged information. I believe in being sensitive to people's emotional boundaries. It isn't a question of being right, wrong, strong, weak or open-minded. Emotions don't follow rules or logic. They simply are. I try to respect that.

Peace,

daughter

This would make a good thread, daughter!

There are some things I don't want to know. And some of those things, I don't know that I don't want to know until I already know them. (decipher THAT!)

I don't subscribe to the idea "If we love each other, we're 100% honest and open about every facet of our lives"... some things don't bear reliving, repeating, or even mentioning. Unfortunately, we often learn the truth of that by doing all three of those things.

My theory? Unless asked, don't bring it up. If asked, think carefully before answering. Occasionally indulge in your right to say "I love you, but it's none of your business."
 
ya i agree..

Once you commit to someone the slate is wiped clean, its a definite Red Card to bring up, or be concerned about the past.
 
If my S/O has been with another female...I would have her call her up so we can have a threesome!!! A,C,E!!!

Hey what'did ya expect..I am a guy ;)

Cheers,
Body
 
I still hold to wanting to know as much about a person as I possibly can (and him knowing as much about me). In my own personal experiences, trading this knowledge has always added to what you are able to share with another person as the feeling of trust grows. It has also brought up things that would ineviitably show up anyway, and I'd rather be prepared when an "ex" shows up than not knowing at all about their past relationship.

Unfortuantely, I also know of couples that chose not to discuss too much of their past, then found out things years later (like addictions and abuse issues) that caused some unnecessary pain and heartache.
 
So Cardinal, are you EVER going to answer your own Q's? I'll assume this is an outtake of yoru post regarding , well you know what the thread of in the Personals is about, it's kind of along the same lines. Are you afraid of people that you don't know, judging you?

Why ask Q's if you aren't willing to leave a response too?
 
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