would you give a second chance?

[Willing and Unsure]

if you and a SO broke up (they were an ass about things) and came crawling back some time later asking you to help them "be a better person" would you give them the second chance and help them out?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

no. Leopards don't change their spots.

 

[MissTaken]

It would depend on two things:

a) How much of an ass he was.

b) How sincere he was.

c) Did I really love him?

Oh, that is three things!

 

[juicylips]

If helping him become "better" would make you feel worse or less of a person after it's all over again....then the answer is no.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Nope, the "new" them neer last.
Wicked

 

[capricious_chic]

No. Life has so few second chances.

 

[Diablogrl]

no - I have a hard enough time getting rid of them as it is.

but honestly, you need to determine if you still want this person and if you still want a relationship with this person. Although you've only written a couple sentences it already seems like you are the "giver" in this relationship. He was an ass...help him be a better person... I'd be wary of him walking over you. Everything in life is a balancing test, be selfish, determine your own cost-benefits in the relationship and then make a decision.

 

[Guest]

What ex-SO?

 

[Calamity Jane]

if you and a SO broke up (they were an ass about things) and came crawling back some time later asking you to help them "be a better person" would you give them the second chance and help them out?

I'd tell them to call me when they'd managed all on their own to become a better person.

 

[needtoserve]

never again.

did this once with my ex-w...

and you guys/gals are right, a leopard cant change their spots.

 

[Guest]

.

 

[christcat69]

My girl has given me a second chance and I have become a better person. I have given second chances and some have worked out, some haven't. It's all in how sincere that person is and if they are really willing to change.

 

[greybeard]

not much to go on here............Miss Taken listed, I think, the important variables..........but I tend to think that men in general can be real bums, and there would have to be some REAL compelling reasons to take give one a second chance.......WAY too often they just don't get it, nor appreciate the chance...........

greybeard

 

[bubman]

well from a been there done that kind of guy, i have found out the hard way, if they can do it once and you let them back, it just getts easyer to do it a second time, and the second hurts so much more................

 

[MissVictoria]

Yes, but I would be cautious, and I wouldnt take as much crap before it was completely over. I do believe that people can change.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

not much to go on here............

thank you all for your input.

more to go on greybeard.. me and this guy were together about 6 months. He said that I made him realize that he needed to quit thinking more of himself and think more of other people (then he said this) and wanted to end the relationship for the time being till he figured out a few things and that he wanted to be friends (if possible) and hopefully get back together sometime soon. well, while he was figuring out a few things (about three days later), he shares with me he had sex with another girl... a virgin (he emphasized this to me) and then swore up and down he wasnt cheating on me at the end of our relationship. which I think is bogus. how could he have slept with a virgin so fast otherwise? then he proceeds to tell me that he loves me, but he didnt realize he was taking me for granted. I'm still trying to figure out how he could love someone and take them for granted? seriously, how can you love someone if you dont appreciate them? and now, almost a full year after this all transpired, he wants me to be friends with him again for a few reasons. "1. maybe one day we can try again. 2. so that I don't make the same mistake again. 3. I am willing to change to make myself a better person. 4. I know you would be honest and give it to me straight." and now I am honestly wondering if I should even bother. the guy has been trying to talk to me for about 6 months now and I'm a complete bitch to him. he hardly gets more than one word answers from me and when he does, they're filled with sarcasm and half the time not even true. So I wonder now, should I bother giving him the second chance with a shot at a friendship or not? half of me is saying I should, and the other half is telling me not to.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

do you WANT to?

Who cares if you should or shouldn't? If you don't want to, then don't. If you do want to, well, then do (I wouldn't but that's me). You seem to feel that he cheated on you. Which he covered up with lies. Not a good thing to base a friendship on. He's been trying for 6 months to be friends again. Why would someone put up with bitchiness for 6 months? Maybe he wants something? Maybe he really does love you, but if you feel inside that he cheated, can you trust him again? They don't change their spots, I'm telling you.

There are reasons why exes are exes. Always remember that.

 

[Aquila]

Kick'em in the nuts and go on about your business. no friends, no happy couple, no fuckbuddies. just keep em out of your life.

There are a few rules of dating that experience has taught me.

1. Never ever under any circumstances be friends with someone your interested in, but isnt interested back.
2. Never reconcile with an ex.
3. Never be friends with an ex. Ideally part ways on halfway decent terms, but thats it.
4. Never be the sole agressor, if its you always asking what the other is up to that night, or initiating actvities, walk away don't look back.
5. Be blunt about breakups. don't egg things on. don't try to be nice and not hurt the others feelings. it just fucks up the situation worse.
6. If you find out they cheated, 1 day or 3 years ago the relationship is over.

Ok buhbye now, those are my happy thoughts for you.

 

[Sure]

You can't help someone become a better person. Sure, you can support their efforts, but asking someone to help you sounds a little whiny and self serving.

Sure

 

[Forever_Gemini]

My $0.02 worth ...

You say half of you want to say 'yes', the other half 'no', to me that means what your heart is telling you versus what your brain
is telling you... Listen to your brain, is my opinion

I gave my ex 2 chances, told him it would be no 3rd. Guess what! I just prolonged the separation, 'cause he kept asking for forgiveness and I hated myself for forgiving him the past two times - it's wasn't worth it!

DO what YOU want to do, not what you think HE wants you to DO!

Good luck

 

[Never]

Willing and Unsure:
"if you and a SO broke up (they were an ass about things) and came crawling back some time later asking you to help them "be a better person" would you give them the second chance and help them out?"

I'd give them a second chance. Though I don't understand the 'helping them out'. Do they need money? A place to live?

 

[glamorilla]

if you and a SO broke up (they were an ass about things) and came crawling back some time later asking you to help them "be a better person" would you give them the second chance and help them out?

not if he was still married...

 

[Ezarc]

Re: Re: would you give a second chance?

not if he was still married...

*hugs my buddy*

 

[glamorilla]

*giggles*

 

[Aquila]

Id just like to take this moment and confirm that glam scares the fuck out of me sometimes.

its the whole *giggles* thing...

I don't know its just somehow... evil.