Women - what if your SO came on your face while you were sleep?

[sheath]

I don't disagree that many more men rape or assault women than women do to men. However, this does not give any woman the right to resort to violence on a man who is clearly doing something fun, kinky, cute, or similar (such as jizzing on his SO's face while she sleeps).

I think this is part of the problem with the debate...you are seeing violence in response to something 'fun, kinky, cute or similar". However, many of the women responding are seeing the act of coming on a woman's face while she is asleep as an act of violence in and of itself.

One of the definitions of violence is "harm done by violating rights, etc", according to my Webster's professional volume, Copyright 2000. I'm sure there are other definitions out there. But all of them harken back to the central point: Violation, in whatever form that occurs.

Violence in response to violence is as old as time. And while I seriously doubt a woman would chop off her lover's penis just because he came on her face, he IS putting himself in a situation where he might be injured...severely. Is it justified? Perhaps. That all boils down to the individual situation and the people involved.

Just because you don't see it as violence does not mean it isn't.

S.

 

[incognito989]

Whoa, you guys are still debating this?

Well, let me interject one little thing:

http://dictionary.lp.findlaw.com/sc...com&topic=6d/6d98388177d2becdc67a32b016ea774d

"sexual assault
: sexual contact usu. that is forced upon a person without consent or inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (as a doctor) in a position of trust
(see also rape)
Note: Sexual assault in its most serious forms (often classified as first degree sexual assault) involves nonconsensual sexual penetration. In its less serious forms it may be the equivalent of statutory rape."

Emphasis mine.

If you talk to the SO beforehand, and you both share the kink - great. Have at 'er! If not, well.. I think you get the point.

 

[Tooch McGroin]

Geez Poochie, I don't know... Its still kinda hard to read. I wonder if you're over-compensating for lack of size elsewhere by using a larger font?

And like I said earlier, you're the one that should be doing the counting since you refused to believe you're in the minority.

Well I think this thread has been fun while it lasted, but I hate having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

BOBonacock, can you get any more boring? Your posts move from one lame cliche to the next, continually broadcasting your weak intellect. You began by speaking for all the women on this thread, like some ass-kissing wannabe white knight, or some self-appointed hall monitor. Then you attempted to force your point by claiming a majority. I have no objection to being in any minority, but neither you nor I even count in this matter. This is about WOMEN and their opinions on Kardon's initial proposal. Clearly, you're a herd thinker, and you fancy yourself part of a herd here. Okay you dumb animal, now try to wrap your tiny bovine brain around this concept: I don't have a problem with any woman's objection to "surprise facials" -- I only object to their threats of violence.

 

[Meat Whistler]

I think this is part of the problem with the debate...you are seeing violence in response to something 'fun, kinky, cute or similar". However, many of the women responding are seeing the act of coming on a woman's face while she is asleep as an act of violence in and of itself.

One of the definitions of violence is "harm done by violating rights, etc", according to my Webster's professional volume, Copyright 2000. I'm sure there are other definitions out there. But all of them harken back to the central point: Violation, in whatever form that occurs.

Violence in response to violence is as old as time. And while I seriously doubt a woman would chop off her lover's penis just because he came on her face, he IS putting himself in a situation where he might be injured...severely. Is it justified? Perhaps. That all boils down to the individual situation and the people involved.

Just because you don't see it as violence does not mean it isn't.

S.

I really do have to disagree. What harm is it in jizzing on a woman's face? I really think assault is a poor term to use when speaking about a facial cum while sleeping. I can't imagine it ever being seen as violent by anyone, much less myself.

I can agree that some women wouldn't like this and that is their right; however, to become violent over a non-violent act seems rather wrong to me. That's all.

 

[Tooch McGroin]

...the act of coming on a woman's face while she is asleep as an act of violence in and of itself.

You're insane.

While you've got that dictionary out, look up violence.

 

[sheath]

I really do have to disagree. What harm is it in jizzing on a woman's face? I really think assault is a poor term to use when speaking about a facial cum while sleeping. I can't imagine it ever being seen as violent by anyone, much less myself.

I can agree that some women wouldn't like this and that is their right; however, to become violent over a non-violent act seems rather wrong to me. That's all.

That was my whole point. YOU see it as being non-violent. That does NOT mean everyone else sees it the same way you do. In fact, according to this thread, a majority of people see it quite differently than you do. You don't see any harm in it, but obviously, several here see it that way.

And if someone sees it as an assault, or a violent act, of course they are going to react in kind.

So, like I said...maybe you don't see it as being a violent act. Again, just because you don't see it as violent doesn't mean that it isn't.

S.

 

[sheath]

In response to a specific request for a definition of "violence":

According to Webster's Unabridged Desk Dictionary, Professional Edition, Copyright 2000. Published by Webster's Dictionaries, a Division of Simon and Schuster, New York, NY:

vi'o-lence (-lens) n. [from the latin violentus, violent]1. physical force used so as to injure 2. powerful force, as of a hurricane 3. harm done by violating rights, etc. 4. violent act or deed

Please note the third definition. The emphasis is mine.

S.

 

[Nightbird]

You're insane.

While you've got that dictionary out, look up violence.

Hi there McGroin... I'm wondering if Sheath is insane how would you feel if you were sleeping and some guy ejaculated all over your body while you were sleeping?
Your asleep so you can't give your consent or say no does that mean it's safe to assume your consent is automatically given? If thats the case then it must be ok for someone to have anal sex with you while your asleep too right? Because that wouldn't be violence either.. And it wouldn't be rape because your asleep so your consent is automatically given.

 

[andystx]

I was on my way to bed but this was too much fun of a read to pass by.

3. harm done by violating rights, etc.

That is quite a stretch. The harm you are referring to is...facial pore damage? You are assuming she is sleeping with some overnight pore cleansing compound that reacts violently with semen? Or perhaps some night time hair care product with similar properties?

Or maybe you are referring to emotional harm? Do you mean like when I was a kid and another kid said, "Your mom wears combat boots!" and my response was to push him down in the dirt and punch him in the solar plexus? I suppose if you apply a fifth grade mentality to this dilemna that would make sense. (Just for the record, my mom didn't wear combat boots) Wouldn't it be a great world if we could lash out physically at everything that remotely rubs us the wrong way emotionally?

Sexual Assault????

PPSSSHHHAAAWWWW.

And Bob, you big cheater. You are tossing all the "maybe you should talk about it first crowd" and the "I won't even let him do that to me when I'm awake crowd" in with the "castration, maiming and killing crowd" to try and swell your numbers and create a majority for your protectorate. The first group are a coin flip and if kardon or whatever his name is is referring to someone in the second group I have to assume he wouldn't have needed to ask.

Tooch I am sorry to hear that you will be ignored by everyone else on this board forever. You seem to have made some great points and showed some true perceptive ability. I am as surprised as the next guy that with all the people on here, all you have to do is piss off one or two people and nobody will read your posts ever again. Weird how much inflammatory language came your way after "everyone" ignored you and "noone" will ever take you seriously again but I guess some of "them" had not decoded their secret orders yet. Alas, maybe we can pal around when we both get banished to the general boards.

And Italian Goddess, very sexy, very sexy indeed.

Having thrown my two cents, drifting off to slumberland, dreaming of waking to a warm pussy gushing on my face as I rise.
I think I am going to put a towel next to the bed. Just in case.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[SexyChele]

Sheesh! Is this thread still an issue? In heaven's sake, whatever for?

ItalianGoddess, I guess you take every single word a person says literally? Every word you hear? Even if some one were to get so angry at another they state they want to "bitch-slap" them? Or how about this one: "I'm so happy I'm floating on air"? Ever seen anyone floating on air because they were so happy? Okay, let me put it to you this way....people sometimes say things that they would never really do in real life, but it makes their point that it is something they feel very strongly about. Get it? Understand?

I may have stated that I get so angry in this situation that I would do - - - . Does that mean I would literally cut off a man's penis or smack his balls or engage in other physical violence? You take me only at my words, without attempting to try to understand anything else about me, so exactly what basis of judgement do you have? You have not once attempted to even try to understand where any of these women are coming from. Not once.

As far as jizzing on a woman's face, who the hell gives a rat's ass in the end? A majority of men like this activity. Some women do, some don't, some are ambivalent. No one is right or wrong in this situation. If a woman feels she has been violated by this act, then I respect her feelings about it. I don't say she is crazy. She has her reasons. Likewise, if a woman says she likes it, power to her! Why do we have to insult women who do or do not like or engage in this or any other activity? And no, I'm not referring to legalities and what is violence and what is assault and all that bullshit. If two adults consent to an activity, then that's all there is to it. If they don't, then boundaries need to be respected. If those boundaries are not respected, then it must be expected that the party whose boundaries were not respected feels anger, violated, generally pissed off, substitute any word you like - but they don't like it.

 

[Meat Whistler]

Sheath,

I've reviewed several other dictionary definitions of the word violence and I think it's a stretch to say that jizzing on a woman's face is an act of violence. I am going to be stubborn, as I can't really imagine any woman considering it a violent act.

I do agree that just because I don't see something as violent, it might be. I just can't fathom seeing that particular act as violent by anyone. You and I will have to agree to disagree on this.

Sexy Chele,

I don't always take things literally. Consider one thing, please. This is the Internet, where it is quite difficult to judge tone, intent, and (potential) meaning. When I read the same responses over and over, with no indication of sarcasm or otherwise, I don't assume anything other than what is stated.

As for understanding where the women are coming from...? Have you tried to understand where I'm coming from?

You obviously haven't read posts, in which I claim I understand certain viewpoints. I won't see it as a violent act, ever, nor can I imagine anyone viewing it as violent. Therefore, speaking back in violence seems obscene to me. While I understand that you may have been speaking in anger or exaggeration (now that you claim to have been), I did not get that impression when I read through every violent statement.

 

[Sabledrake]

Perhaps the act might be better defined, then, as an offense, rather than assault or violence? For those who would, of which there seem to be some here and I count myself among them, find such an act offensive?

Sabledrake

 

[grrrlieone]

Just ASK first...No violence should be necessary. It is not that big of a deal. A well-adjusted woman should find it amusing. I NEVER minded (except if it got in my eye)

 

[SexyChele]

Sexy Chele,

I don't always take things literally. Consider one thing, please. This is the Internet, where it is quite difficult to judge tone, intent, and (potential) meaning. When I read the same responses over and over, with no indication of sarcasm or otherwise, I don't assume anything other than what is stated.

As for understanding where the women are coming from...? Have you tried to understand where I'm coming from?

You obviously haven't read posts, in which I claim I understand certain viewpoints. I won't see it as a violent act, ever, nor can I imagine anyone viewing it as violent. Therefore, speaking back in violence seems obscene to me. While I understand that you may have been speaking in anger or exaggeration (now that you claim to have been), I did not get that impression when I read through every violent statement.

Reading things over the internet, I have found anyway, is even more reason to not take what people say literally. Just my own quirk.

Yes, I think I know where you are coming from. I don't know you well, so I can't absolutely certain. You say this behavior wouldn't bother you. I think that's great for you. Violence seems to bother you greatly, which is a good thing. I think, despite the implied tones here, it does for most of the folks here.

I personally don't consider facials to be an act of violence, no. It can be a means of degradation, depending on the conditions involved. And even that is not bad, if the two people involved are consenting. However, I know of two women who were raped by means of oral copulation. To them, any man's penis anywhere near their face, or a man's semen on the face or in their mouth, constitutes an act of violence. Well, you did say "anyone."

 

[SexyChele]

Perhaps the act might be better defined, then, as an offense, rather than assault or violence? For those who would, of which there seem to be some here and I count myself among them, find such an act offensive?

Sabledrake

If my partner had never asked if I would enjoy this and he decided to do it anyway "just to find out" and I was asleep, then yes, I would be offended. If we had talked about the idea previously, and I told him I would find it interesting or fun, then no offense.

Thank you, Sabledrake.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

(That was my husband who posted the last post with my name on it about taking bets in the back room. He thinks its funny and we've been laughing about this some. On the other hand, he still thinks a guy wanting to that as a surprise to a woman who is sleeping is an idiot. )

Its the inconsistency and rudeness of this Tooch guy and Italian Goddess, that is so annoying.

Someone (not me) mentions Lorena Bobbit and you're all up in arms but it's ok for you to say that You are going to cum in all our faces!!! THAT is supposed to be taken as just figurative, I suppose. As was your response to someone who said, give me a break, and Tooch asked' where do you want it?" Since you think everything everyone says is Literal, I guess that means you just threatened violence to dollface and meant it?!

Someone also said that it really pisses women off (cumming in their faces) and Tooch said, that's what's so fun about it.

Tooch insists he's alright with people not wanting to have their faces cummed on in their sleep -- yet calls them man-hating dykes, dried up old etcera, etcera. Do you see any inconsistancy in those statements?

You and Tooch are the ones with the logic problems Italian "Goddess" (btw, it wouldn't surprise me if you are really a man using a woman's name.)

And Legally it is Assault. Even putting a Finger on someone when they haven't consented is Assault. Check out your law books. Or, better yet, try it on a police officer sometime.

And andystyx, you have a problem with your logic, too, or haven't read the whole thread. You said 'You are tossing all the "maybe you should talk about it first crowd" and the "I won't even let him do that to me when I'm awake crowd" in with the "castration, maiming and killing crowd" to try and swell your numbers and create a majority for your protectorate. '

Well, the question wasn't would you like it or would you maim someone who tried it. The question was how do you feel about it, ie. apparently both the idea of having it done to you in your sleep, and the idea of being SUPRISED by unexpectedly and with no previous discussion haaving it done to you in your sleep. Kardon didn't ask the second question but it was his PLAN, so is under discussion. Only 3 people have said they liked the idea of being unexpectedly surprised. An additional 3 or 4 said that they liked or wouldn't mind but you should CHECK FIRST. It is Tooch who has put all those latter folks, such as Latinababe, in with the first group. Check her post. EVERYONE ELSE SAID THEY WOULDN'T LIKE THE SURPRISE AND WOULDN'T LIKE IT DONE.

Now for me, now that my husband and I have discussed it, I wouldn't care. I would think it was silly but I wouldn't care if for some reason he it did something for me. BUT DONT YOU DARE put me in with that group that says it's ok without asking.

The one's doing all the personal attacks on this thread -- calling people insane and bitches and such, is Tooch. He is the only one who strikes me as violent here. He is the only one who threatened to do anything to anyone. (See second paragraph.) or are you going to start claiming OBVIOUSLY JUST FIGURES OF SPEECH NOW, TOOCH, hmm? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS -- either those women were using figures of speech and you were too, or you are the only one here who has actually threatened real people.

(THEY ONLY SAID THEY WOULD 'IF.' YOu on the other hand, said YOU WOULD -- come in people here's faces, and 'give dollface a break.')

NOW -- Literal or Figurative, HMMM? YOUR CHOICE.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Here is one. Quoting it so you don't turn chickenshit and try to edit.

I think you're wrong. I am not missing your points. catalina_francisco, Italian Goddess , and Latinababe are all women and they don't mind this stuff. On the contrary, they think it's kind of hot.

Perhap you, and and a few others like yourself on this thread, find this idea so objectionable for other reasons. For instance, maybe your lover isn't suave or sexy but sort of a jerk, or maybe you're a male-hating dyke, or maybe you're a domineering type who resents any man playing around with you.

In any case, I'm gonna win this one because unlike you ladies, I will go the distance. I have stamina. And I will cum on all your faces.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Yes that's what makes it so much fun.

 

[sheath]

Here is one. Quoting it so you don't turn chickenshit and try to edit.

LOL!

Phoenix Stone, I think I love you, babe.

S.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

This is what Tooch was replying to. THIS is what he said makes it so much fun to come in a woman's face. So it isn't about sexiness to him, it's about pissing women off apparently. And judging by this whole thread, that IS something he enjoys. So glad he appeals to you Italian Goddess. You don't like violence, unless it is aimed at women? Only bothers you when it is at men? (That's one of the things that made me wonder if you might not be a man.)

I said the thought of it.....not the actuality. It's not a pleasant thought to think about as thinking about someone cumming on our face is not a pleasant thought. To females, most of us anyway, it's in the top ten of things that would really piss us off.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

A break? Ok, where do you want it?

And this is what he said in response to dollface using the figurative expression 'oh, give me a break.'

So, Tooch, were you LITERALLY threatening her with violence?

 

[sultresweetie]

Sheath,

I've reviewed several other dictionary definitions of the word violence and I think it's a stretch to say that jizzing on a woman's face is an act of violence. I am going to be stubborn, as I can't really imagine any woman considering it a violent act.

I do agree that just because I don't see something as violent, it might be. I just can't fathom seeing that particular act as violent by anyone. You and I will have to agree to disagree on this.

Sexy Chele,

I don't always take things literally. Consider one thing, please. This is the Internet, where it is quite difficult to judge tone, intent, and (potential) meaning. When I read the same responses over and over, with no indication of sarcasm or otherwise, I don't assume anything other than what is stated.

As for understanding where the women are coming from...? Have you tried to understand where I'm coming from?

You obviously haven't read posts, in which I claim I understand certain viewpoints. I won't see it as a violent act, ever, nor can I imagine anyone viewing it as violent. Therefore, speaking back in violence seems obscene to me. While I understand that you may have been speaking in anger or exaggeration (now that you claim to have been), I did not get that impression when I read through every violent statement.

Good post, IG. How ironic that Sexy Chele would scold you for infering that what a person says is what they mean...and then speak for everyone that they wouldn't have the propensity to commit violence, while the most outspoken proponent is looking up words in the dictionary to justify domestic violence on her partner.

LOL.
I wonder what the attitude of the so-called majority would be if it were the wife cumming on the man's face, and he put the fists to her and threw her out in the night naked so the neighbors could laugh at her. Obviously it is disrespectful to cum on someone's face without their consent. Cumming on someone is a dominent act, and is degrading for the person being cum on. If someone is so vehemently opposed to this disrespectful act that they would take the low road to commit acts of violence on their partner, it would seem that they have serious self-esteem issues they are overcompensating for.

My ex would use a plethera of excuses as to why he had to put the fists to me. It was always about something I said or did that would threaten his manhood. I really see no justification for being punched, because something I may have said or did caused an emotionally unhealthy person distress. If I ran around physically attacking people that emotionally harmed me, I would be in prison by now.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

LOL!

Phoenix Stone, I think I love you, babe.

S.

Thanks, Sheath.

Actually one of the things that really pissed me off at this guy is how rude he was to you, when you are one of the how-to board fixtures, and when you are always so fair, pleasant, and give people such a break here. You've made it a pleasant place, (unlike General.)

 

[sultresweetie]

Just ASK first...No violence should be necessary. It is not that big of a deal. A well-adjusted woman should find it amusing. I NEVER minded (except if it got in my eye)

And FINALLY, a lil bit of sanity to sum up the hysterics.