Are there any help how tos on avoiding pain during sex?

[Shellz32]

One positive thing I can say about it is that every. Single. Man. I have ever been with. Has been utterly fantastic about it. Sympathetic, caring, gentle etc etc. men are absolutely brilliant x

 

[Noor]

I couldn't afford $150 a pop regularly

Luckily my insurance paid. I’m in the us and I had grandfathered platinum insurance with unlimited pt. Now I’m on Medicare/ government and I’m not sure.
Pelvic floors can be a bit deal, they must be able to relax, hips must be in proper alignment, it was pretty weird and hands on.

 

[Shellz32]

Luckily my insurance paid. I’m in the us and I had grandfathered platinum insurance with unlimited pt. Now I’m on Medicare/ government and I’m not sure.
Pelvic floors can be a bit deal, they must be able to relax, hips must be in proper alignment, it was pretty weird and hands on.

One thing I haven't tried tbh is alcohol. A therapist said a few drinks can help

 

[Noor]

Luckily my insurance paid. I’m in the us and I had grandfathered platinum insurance with unlimited pt. Now I’m on Medicare/ government and I’m not sure.
Pelvic floors can be a bit deal, they must be able to relax, hips must be in proper alignment, it was pretty weird and hands on.

I just started using a torture device again, electric stim to try to keep relaxed. Currently they is no one to try out the results and I’m kind of shut down anyway, but I figured I’d be prepared. My urologist got my the stim and sent my to the sexual pt, also put me on estrogen cream, though now I’m on a ring. He’s a nice man, we sing together sometimes.

 

[Noor]

One thing I haven't tried tbh is alcohol. A therapist said a few drinks can help

I’m allergic to alcohol, but for my Flexeral ( muscle relaxer) had no affect

 

[Shellz32]

Oh god you poor thing allergic to alcohol

 

[Shellz32]

Hehehehe

 

[Noor]

I’m also kind of terrified of new guys since I can react to them if the use soap or eat foods I’m allergic too.

 

[Shellz32]

God that sounds scary. Sorry

 

[Noor]

I’m also kind of terrified of new guys since I can react to them if the use soap or eat foods I’m allergic too.

They have to be pretty keen to wear latex-free condoms and see my epipen next to me. Though a first date in the emergency room is a good acid test, esp when we explain what happened.

 

[Noor]

That said it’s amazing how many guys are super careful and will wear weird condoms

 

[Shellz32]

Yep. Like u said men have been awesome. And I'm sooooo into oral it's not funny. Thankfully

 

[Britva415]

weird condoms

Eh?

 

[Noor]

Eh?

Sorry I corrected my original post should have said latex free condoms which can be different. Like unique pull.

 

[AnnieLit]

I couldn't afford $150 a pop regularly

Physical therapy for the most part is about teaching you exercises that are custom tailored for your situation. So most likely it should be fine to go once a month IF you work on your own regularly in between visits. Have you gone at least once or didn't go at all because of the price? You can always explain that weekly visits are not in your budget and most therapists will know how to write you instructions for a month, not for a week. As far as I know, it takes about a year of regular work to make things better.

 

[Shellz32]

Physical therapy for the most part is about teaching you exercises that are custom tailored for your situation. So most likely it should be fine to go once a month IF you work on your own regularly in between visits. Have you gone at least once or didn't go at all because of the price? You can always explain that weekly visits are not in your budget and most therapists will know how to write you instructions for a month, not for a week. As far as I know, it takes about a year of regular work to make things better.

I did not return to the physical therapist- she made me completely uncomfortable and was a borderline bitch. She seemed to not believe me when I kept telling her i had never been sexually abused. (guess alot of women with what I have, experience that?) and i was just like nup. Never going back.


Would rather see a sex therapist if I were to see one again (the one I saw on a semi-regular basis was great), I'll most likely do this in the near future.

 

[AnnieLit]

I did not return to the physical therapist- she made me completely uncomfortable and was a borderline bitch. She seemed to not believe me when I kept telling her i had never been sexually abused. (guess alot of women with what I have, experience that?) and i was just like nup. Never going back.


Would rather see a sex therapist if I were to see one again (the one I saw on a semi-regular basis was great), I'll most likely do this in the near future.

(Lit: I need a reaction emoji for a hug!)

That's a MUCH bigger problem with the therapy than the price. If you ever decide to try it again, ask for an interview first. It is by appointment, but it's free - you just get to sit in an office and ask questions for 10-15 min. The answers will tell you a lot about the person and if you will be comfortable working with them. And try to do it in person, not over the phone. At least for me it is important to see the person, to see their body language, not just hear their voice.

 

[Noor]

I did not return to the physical therapist- she made me completely uncomfortable and was a borderline bitch. She seemed to not believe me when I kept telling her i had never been sexually abused. (guess alot of women with what I have, experience that?) and i was just like nup. Never going back.


Would rather see a sex therapist if I were to see one again (the one I saw on a semi-regular basis was great), I'll most likely do this in the near future.

I guess I was never asked about sexual abuse because I came there from surgery, which is a form of sexual trauma that no one has ever addressed.
Actually the only person who ever ask me about sexual abuse was a cyber partner long ago here.
I suppose it’s a reasonable question by a feminine therapist once, but she should have accepted the answer.

 

[Shellz32]

(Lit: I need a reaction emoji for a hug!)

That's a MUCH bigger problem with the therapy than the price. If you ever decide to try it again, ask for an interview first. It is by appointment, but it's free - you just get to sit in an office and ask questions for 10-15 min. The answers will tell you a lot about the person and if you will be comfortable working with them. And try to do it in person, not over the phone. At least for me it is important to see the person, to see their body language, not just hear their voice.

I've always done therapy in person. Even during COVID, I saw a psychiatrist for a year. Who was really good.

I hate online

 

[Shellz32]

I guess I was never asked about sexual abuse because I came there from surgery, which is a form of sexual trauma that no one has ever addressed.
Actually the only person who ever ask me about sexual abuse was a cyber partner long ago here.
I suppose it’s a reasonable question by a feminine therapist once, but she should have accepted the answer.

I'm sorry .

Oh it was completely reasonable. But I just never have had it happen and I was baffled why she was asking me again and again like I was lying

 

[Shellz32]

I think because Vaginismus is so complex and there's no simple answers or triggers (for me) and she just wanted some kind of reason for it. Idk

 

[AnnieLit]

I've always done therapy in person. Even during COVID, I saw a psychiatrist for a year. Who was really good.

I hate online

I was talking about the interview part, not the therapy

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Great thread!