Why?

[Dark Nights]

Why haven't you sucked cock?

Why haven't you licked pussy?

I mean, really?

It's 2007... what the f?

 

[Tymeless]

Why haven't you sucked cock?

Why haven't you licked pussy?

I mean, really?

It's 2007... what the f?

why was this thread made?

 

[Etoile]

Totally with Tiff on this one.

 

[Dark Nights]

why was this thread made?

Because in sooooo many posts, it's "Oh, I can't wait for that first dick up my ass" and "I can't wait to suck that first pussy."

I was just curious, why not yet?

Think about it. 10 years ago, if you didn't have someone close to take you across the line, you had to go trawling for it, especially if you lived in a small town, etc. Now, with the internet, you'd think it would be easier. (not that it's all that much safer, but in forums here and elsewhere, you know you're not alone... and odds are, there's someone within driving distance who'll pop your cherry) So why not yet?

Is it just opportunity, that you haven't found that trustworthy local someone yet?

Is it that despite your desire or your curiousity, you're not ready to cross that line yet, better to just leave things a fantasy?

And I know it's a big deal and not just a "Dear Penthouse Letters" porno dream... some are married or in relationships, and they're not willing to risk that on a fantasy. For others, it could mean crucifixion by conservative family and friends. But you would think that this internet global village would make it easier to explore the fantasy. I'm not talking about hitting the local M4M chat rooms, but the friendships that develop here and at other social sites through posts and e-mail. Yeah, not everybody you'd like to meet is local, but you could work on that.

A friend of mine, dead now, wrote that until the internet, we all thought that we were freaks with whatever fetish it was that floated our boats. We'd sit alone in our bedrooms, thinking there was something wrong with us, afraid to say anything for fear of being ostracized, and think that we were the only ones. Then comes the internet and we see that we're not alone, and that our fetish is pretty vanilla compared to most. It's probably easier to find someone trustworthy as Bi-curious as yourself than some of the harder and kinkier things.

So I was just curious. Why not yet?

 

[Etoile]

Ah, thanks for the explanation. I can't really answer the question though, as I'm not in that situation...so I'll let others address it.

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

For myself, it's because I don't want to have sex with just anyone. I want someone whom I know, like and trust. Unfortunately for me, most of my friends are straight or involved, so I haven't got anyone like that. I've been dating in the hopes of meeting someone like that, but no luck yet.

 

[bi golly]

Why?

Because it isn't just about the sex. When I was younger, maybe I would be out there, getting as much sex as I could get. But at some point, sex by itself was unfulfilling.

The conflict that I feel is that I have pretty traditional gender typing when it comes to emotional things. I don't think I will find a guy who I can connect with in the same way as I would very easily connect with a woman. (I'm not saying all guys are this way; I speak only for myself.) That emotional need is in conflict with the desire I have had for sex with men almost since I started self sex discovery, playing with my penis, playing with my anus. I've gotten over the feelings of shame, and have expiremented with men, but if I'm going to spend time with someone, I want it to be for more than just orgasms.

Ideally, I would like to be in a relationship with a woman where we can play with others periodically. But I have heard of only a few times when that actually works for long term. I'm divorced with children, and they are the most important thing to me. I'm not going to put churn in their lives for my own selfish wants.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

A) Because I realized I was truly Bi after my marriage, recently came out and hubby won't have any of it.

B) Like others said...It isn't just about sex. It is about connection. I don't want to eat the pussy of some twit I have nothing in common with just because she's the one in the room.

 

[Dark Nights]

AB) Like others said...It isn't just about sex.

True, but don't you think, the sexual aspect is one of the biggest attractions, at least as far as curiousity goes? Looking at some mm/ff porn, thinking "I could get into that?" Or just being attracted to a same sex friend, and having fantasies that take it to the next level?

Like I said before, I'm not talking about the whole chatroom "who wants to fuck me tonight?" crap, but meeting someone that you trust, who flips your switches in all the right ways, and that you'd be comfortable exploring your curiousity with. I know, no small task gay, straight or bi. Basically, dating someone but with the added difficulty level being that you may not be entirely sure that it's nothing more than curiousity.

And really, I guess this thread is directed to those who are truly curious and willing to take the next step, but not ready to slap a label on themselves or even necessarily start a same-sex relationship beyond that experimentation.

In reading through the threads here, it just seemed that almost every one had at least one post from someone who couldn't wait for that first time. (and I'm sure for every one of those posts, there's 9 others walking on the wild side as I type this.) I guess I was just curious to see if anyone had any thoughts one way or the other why that first time hadn't happened yet, especially since it seems that the internet made it a lot easier to explore that curiousity, rather than trying to figure things out in real time, never knowing if you were going to hook up or get your ass kicked.

 

[dkak001]

...but meeting someone that you trust, who flips your switches in all the right ways, and that you'd be comfortable exploring your curiousity with.

For those of us who know it's more than a curiosity; This, even while amongst a group of like minded individuals is easier said than done! Also, as you hinted, spouses and children with their associated obligations can add yet another layer of difficulty. Sometimes we put our dreams on the back burner for the good of our families, which is why places like this allow us to escape to the possibility. Which, may in fact answer your question.

Many of us talk here in "private" because it's all we can afford to do.

-Dan

 

[human_male]

Because no one's walked into my bedroom while I'm in the middle of a porn session and flopped it out in front of me yet.

 

[emap]

Why does it take so long for someone to experiment with same sex sex???

I mean seriously do you really not know?

Let's break it down, with the internet how do you know this is someone you can trust and get together with and not be killed, turned into a slave, or catch a disease? I mean actually without a shadow of doubt have proof KNOW?

Getting together with people you meet online is one of the scariest things I know. It worked out for me yes he is wonderful and everything I thought and besides hung like a horse. OK granted not another woman so not really related to this discussion, however I did meet him online. We talked on the phone for a month, talked online for 3 months before then, I thought I knew him perfectly well, and I still had butterflies the size of battleships when I first saw him in person. I am kinda embarrassed to admit I played a friend of mine to get a feel for him, but if I had not done that I seriously doubt I would have come outside and met him.

So now before internet, what choices did you have to get together with someone of the same sex for sex besides friends or adult theatres/glory holes. The last two have all sorts of problems and are just for sex encounters so don't factor into this discussion anyway. So we have friends, how do you know your friends are into same sex relationships unless you ask, and then how do you ask? Now before you say you just ask, suppose you are in a small town where same sex is seen as nasty and a product of the devil, you can't just ask. So your stuck with paying attention and hoping and hinting and waiting. For some that never comes, for others that is a night alone with your friend, both horny and grabbing my head and kissing me.

Which was a lovely kiss and did lead to more, but she was totally shocked, scared out of her wits and apologizing to me the instant she stopped kissing me. I actually had to lean in and kiss her back before she could do anything but shake and shiver. If I had not decided to try it with her I could have stormed out screaming letting her neighbors know, which meant that the next day half the town would know, she and her parents probably would not have been able to keep a job buy groceries or much of anything else.

Not to mention her school time after that would be spent avoiding most everybody because they would either kick her ass or ridicule her. Something very very few could withstand for very long.

Now perhaps do you know why it takes some people forever to find a same sex lover? Especially if your talking for a relationship, mine was more of a for sex thing and it still was very hard for her to do. To this day I still do not know how she managed to get up the courage to kiss me.

Oh I don't know because a couple months later her parents moved and we lost track of each other, I think her parents made her not talk to any of her old friends.

 

[Chicklet]

Because in sooooo many posts, it's "Oh, I can't wait for that first dick up my ass" and "I can't wait to suck that first pussy."

I think one of the things to think about is that we also don't usually go straight for sex when we decide we want it. How many people are horny teenagers fantasizing about getting with a person of the opposite sex years before we actually lose our cherry?

Some people, not everyone, get no enjoyment out of one-night-stands. A lot of people who consider themselves 'bi' would like to have a relationship of sorts with the person of the opposite sex, and it is very hard to narrow those folks down... most people are straight. Some people are straight, and bi-curious willing to have a one time sexual encounter. Not a lot of people want to have a relationship with the person they fool around with.

Then, we also have to figure in the sampling of people who are going to be fantasizing about it on the forum. Only, what, I'm going to pull a number out of my hat, 60% of the country has internet access? How many of those people actually come to a sex forum? Literotica only has so many people on the forum, and only a fraction of people who read this section. Fewer that post. People at this stage of their exploration are going to be a very small statistic of the sampling, aren't they? I'm not saying that more people out there are actually doing things than posting about it. The opposite, I think, is true. But the ones we'll see openly discussing their fantasies online are the ones who haven't had it fulfilled yet. In my experience, I write more and discuss more fantasies than I do about real experiences... The real things have happened already, the fantasies are still running around in my head.

Basically I think I'm trying to say that it isn't something that needs to be pushed, and that the people talking about wanting to do things are just the ones more willing to speak up. And that's why it seems that all the posts about it appear to be aimed that way.

 

[KokopelliRises]

I don't know if I can answer your question fully, because I have done both. The pussy-licking kind of came by chance/luck. I wasn't looking specifically for it, but I guess it came to me. I liked it and all, but at that point in time I wasn't really looking for anything, just to settle comfortably into my new location/situation. Changed my life I guess. Made a friend even though the whole sex thing didn't work out too well.

It kind of reminds me of a line from a song I learned many years ago: "Reach up and touch your dreams. They're really not as far away as they might seem."

My best wishes to all y'all who haven't tried what you're looking for yet.

 

[alaskabibear]

As several have already said, it's not just about the sex (or getting your cherry popped, as you put it).

It is easy to find a body (you can even buy one with money if you like; male or female).

But not so easy to find a person, a soul, a mind that you can relate to and learn to care about enough to share a body with. That's true even with heterosexual relationships. Add the difficulty of finding the "right" person who also happens to be bi/homo, well the question really turns from "why haven't you" to "how could you ever hope to". It's really not that easy to find friends or lovers if you are at all discerning in your choices.

The first step though, is self acknowledgment and self acceptance. Then sharing fantasies with others of like persuasion. That leading to meeting people who just might be both your type and sexual orientation. And finally, maybe finding that special person you can connect with mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

I think chatting here on Lit. serves that purpose.

 

[littlesquirt]

The person wanting a same sex experience might have to get over the "Will this make me gay?" thoughts.

I know for me I've developed an interest in playing with another cock, sucking it, making it cum. I don't want a loving relationship here, just the experience. While looking for that first time (using the internet) several times I backed out before we met just cause actually meeting and sucking a cock I would cross a line. The gay line.

My first time with another guy he was kind and gentle, not pushy at all. A good person for your first time. While I was sucking his cock the thought went thru my mind, am I now gay?

Since then I've sucked cock a couple more times and the question if I'm gay or not does not bother me.

So that could be why people have yet to suck a cock or lick a pussy.