Why?

[Mustang Sally]

I'm sorry, I need to vent. And if anyone can answer the unanswerable why, well that would be wonderful.

I've been involved in a sporadic "casual" relationship for a year and a half. Sporadic because I only see him, on average, about every six weeks or so.

On a conscious, rational level, I can honestly call this guy an obnoxious jerk. There's no reason I should like him. But I do! I care too much, and it's become very stressful and upsetting.

He says he cares about me, and I'm very important to him. Yet he won't make time to see me more often. To be honest, I'm just one of many on his list. (He has an extremely active sex life.)

I know I need to get rid of him, but I just can't. And I don't know why. Why do I like him when I know he's a jerk? Why do I put up with this shit from him? Surely the sex, good as it is, is not worth it! I know this will never be a real relationship, and he would make a horrible boyfriend anyway, so why am I putting myself through this?

WHY???

 

[bluntforcemama]

Why? Because a lot of women go for the "bad boys." Don't worry hon, we've all been there at some point in our lives. Maybe you're afraid to be unattached?

 

[Siren]

Afraid you might not have anything ?

 

[Nathon_88]

While we're asking the unanswerable......

Why is it every time I get close to someone, I don't do anything to screw up my relationship (I prefer to keep friends, rather than lose lovers), yet fate decides it's time for BOHICA (Bend over, here it comes again!)

I mean, I'm a nice person, albiet a hopless romantic. I'd prefer to spend and evening cuddling with someone I like, rather than stripping nude and fucking like rabbits.

I'm (apparently) not THAT ugly. I've had a few comments that didn't hurt to hear.

I'm a good conversationist, I write poems for fun!

And yet, I can't find anyone that likes me for who I am.

*sighs* Fate just likes screwing me over, I suppose.

 

[registered "^^"]

He says he cares about me, and I'm very important to him. Yet he won't make time to see me more often. To be honest, I'm just one of many on his list. (He has an extremely active sex life.)

I know I need to get rid of him, but I just can't. And I don't know why. Why do I like him when I know he's a jerk? Why do I put up with this shit from him? Surely the sex, good as it is, is not worth it! I know this will never be a real relationship, and he would make a horrible boyfriend anyway, so why am I putting myself through this?

WHY???

You like being one of many, or you are into self-abuse. Or you want to prove you can get him all to yourself. He is very good at playing games, if all you want is sex stay where you are. You want more, move on!

 

[Laurel]

Why? Because a lot of women go for the "bad boys." Don't worry hon, we've all been there at some point in our lives. Maybe you're afraid to be unattached?

Exactly. Or you think, deep down inside, that he's REALLY a good guy and you are the one who can get him to change somehow. But you can't. Not because you're not smart or cool or interesting, but because he's who he is. You're better off finding a guy who is everything you need, rather than settling for a fixer-upper. Easier said than done, for sure, but it's still true.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Because it's there, and you know it's there. It's hard to give up something you can rely on, even when you don't like it.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Because it's there, and you know it's there. It's hard to give up something you can rely on, even when you don't like it.

Juspar and I can both vouch for that one. He was with someone for 6 years, I was with someone for 5 years, and it was apparent that we were both unhappy with our significant others. It takes a lot of courage to leave something that has become a security. You'll know when the time is right. It'll just hit you that you deserve better. Just remember, it's always the darkest before the dawn. Every day holds a surprise, a new chance, a new outlook.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I just hate that I KNOW it's bad for me, but instead of removing myself from the situation, I'm trying to rationalize it.

It would be great if I didn't care, and I could just have fun with him when I can, and not worry about it when he's not around. That would be good. I need an emotions switch. Yeah.

 

[Xander]

I just hate that I KNOW it's bad for me, but instead of removing myself from the situation, I'm trying to rationalize it.

It would be great if I didn't care, and I could just have fun with him when I can, and not worry about it when he's not around. That would be good. I need an emotions switch. Yeah.

You said it yourself MS...Emotions....Can feel so wonderful...and can break you down, and its the same emotion too.......Sometimes anyway.