Why Marriage?

[B2fromA2looking4U]

As an older man dating mature and sexy women, it seems that the women are fixated on marriage as the goal of our relationship. Life is so unpredictable at our older age, so, why marriage? Why not "love the one your with"? Just a rant. What do you think? And a younger perspective is appreciated.

 

[patient1]

As someone who has become "older", I think relationships become more about health and finances. By health I mean that you realize that either of you could be hospitalized or die at any time, because you know so many people that have. I am happy that my wife and I can make medical decisions and can visit and be inside the loop when that happens. My mother is twice widowed and is back with her high school boyfriend (a widower). His daughter doesn't like other women around her dad. Whether she doesn't want her inheritance diminished or wants her dad to be sad and lonely until he dies, I don't know. The other factor at play I see with senior relationships is Social Security checks. Some people want to trade up if they are a surviving spouse. So whether it's they don't want to be stuck being a caretaker, or they don't want to be shut out emotionally or financially, I'm sure seniors have seen bad examples they want to avoid. Your mileage may vary.

 

[spacekowboy]

Why marriage? Because you like daily fighting about money and chores and children.

Other than that there is literally no upside.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

I can see that perspective. I also see a marriage makes a lot of sense for people wanting to have children – it’s a commitment to family and security. My second wife wanted marriage for many reasons, her faith, example for adult children etc. I loved her so much, I put aside my preference and we had 9 wonderful years of marriage until cancer took her life this year. Now, I feel snake bit. I could be exclusive, but I do not need marriage to do so.

 

[iso36]

Why marriage? Because you like daily fighting about money and chores and children.

Other than that there is literally no upside.

Thankfully it didn’t make you bitter.

 

[PinkPassion86]

As someone who has never been married, but is at the age where it's deemed 'unusual' to not have a partner or husband.
I find the whole thing baffling - if you want marriage you're trying to tie someone down, if you don't want marriage it's because you're selfish or scared of commitment.

Perhaps for the older generation it's more of security thing.
But, on the whole marriage is so wishy washy nowadays - it doesn't have the same meaning as it used to.

If you're truly in love with someone - get married. If not, don't.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

As someone who has never been married, but is at the age where it's deemed 'unusual' to not have a partner or husband.
I find the whole thing baffling - if you want marriage you're trying to tie someone down, if you don't want marriage it's because you're selfish or scared of commitment.

Perhaps for the older generation it's more of security thing.
But, on the whole marriage is so wishy washy nowadays - it doesn't have the same meaning as it used to.

If you're truly in love with someone - get married. If not, don't.

I started this conversation for perspectives like yours. Its important to have this conversation as our society and hence norms are evolving. Thank you!

 

[dagdag]

You do not necessarily need to get married with someone you are truly in love with. One may argue that marriage can make the couple, or one of them fall in to the complacency trap. If you love each other and enjoy each other's company, you can still be in a long term relationship. It just does not have be called a marriage. Marriage can be a financial contract in a way, especially when you want to part your own way.

 

[iso36]

Canada is bringing more immigrants in every year to fill positions left empty by declining birth rates due to declining marriage rates.

Muslims get married and have lots of kids.

Go to any elementary school and you’ll see what’s happening.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

You do not necessarily need to get married with someone you are truly in love with. One may argue that marriage can make the couple, or one of them fall in to the complacency trap. If you love each other and enjoy each other's company, you can still be in a long term relationship. It just does not have be called a marriage. Marriage can be a financial contract in a way, especially when you want to part your own way.

Marriage is a legal contract with financial implications. Your prespective on love and a longterm relationship is very close to my perspective. Thank you for sharing.

 

[quickshadow]

As someone who has never been married, but is at the age where it's deemed 'unusual' to not have a partner or husband.
I find the whole thing baffling - if you want marriage you're trying to tie someone down, if you don't want marriage it's because you're selfish or scared of commitment.

Perhaps for the older generation it's more of security thing.
But, on the whole marriage is so wishy washy nowadays - it doesn't have the same meaning as it used to.

If you're truly in love with someone - get married. If not, don't.

Ignore people and the “standard belief.” Everyone is pushed to get married, but a house, have kids, raise kids, have grandkids, get old. Just live the life you want. Don’t give into societal pressures.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Both my wife and I wanted to get married. My Lisa was the only woman I'd ever met that I wanted to marry. Lisa though had very low expectations, as there had been nearly no successful marriages in her family. Her dad had three wives and a child with each. Her mother was divorced from her dad and living with a married man. Her matriarchal grandmother was also dating a married man for decades. Aunts divorced, the list could go on. Lots of cheating going on.

We're now together 31 years come January and I regret not a day of it.

 

[JohnEBbad]

It leads to stability in society. Certain segments of our population just hate it and we see increasing instability and all sorts of craziness.