estevie
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2001
- Posts
- 15,226
This cracked me up! 
My apologies if it has been posted before.
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about YOUR money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave ME any insider
information!!
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side. That's what they call it - the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay! And, if you eat that chicken, YOU will
become gay too!! I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where ALL chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it overcame a serious case of molting, and went on to finally
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the little chickens crossing roads in peace!
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens do you have to see cross the road before you will believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are even at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road at all reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken", please?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
My apologies if it has been posted before.GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about YOUR money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave ME any insider
information!!
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side. That's what they call it - the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay! And, if you eat that chicken, YOU will
become gay too!! I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where ALL chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it overcame a serious case of molting, and went on to finally
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the little chickens crossing roads in peace!
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens do you have to see cross the road before you will believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are even at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road at all reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken", please?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
