Why I am absolutely sure I will be banned.

[SissyBrandi19]

The last forum I joined before Literotica was one in which I was determined, after all those years of getting banned everywhere, not to get banned. I did my best to do everything right. Before every step I took, I asked the mods whether it was allowed. Even the mods themselves kept assuring me that, regardless of what had happened in my previous forums, as long as I followed the rules on their own forum, I wouldn't be banned.

And then, one day, after I my first 10-20 posts, I was perma banned without an explanation and without the mods replying to my PMs. I had tried so hard to make things different this time, and the result ended up being the same as the previous 50 times I had joined a forum. That made me realize there is something about me that makes everyone automatically dislike me, that's why I've never had friends, neither in real life nor online. What makes me detestable? I guess it's something so obvious that it's not even worth explaining -- which is why nobody ever tells me what it is -- and I'm just too stupid to figure out what it is.

When I joined Literotica, I didn't expect that even on a forum about sex I'd have problems. But as soon as someone complained that I post threads without ever writing any story, I knew the countdown had begun here too. I knew my permanent ban was a matter of time. It doesn't matter that everybody assures me it won't happen; everybody assured me on my previous forums too, but those assurances didn't make a difference in the end.

That's why I can no longer enjoy my stay here the way I enjoyed it the first weeks. I wish I could go back to the way I was before that complain (that I don't write stories), but I can't. I know I will be banned. Even if the mods assure me I won't be banned, I know I will be banned, because the mods assured me on my last forum too, and that didn't save me from being banned in the end.

I was so sure that I would be banned from here too that I provoked my ban, and in the end I got it. Then I came back (not sure why), but even the fact that nobody seems to care about what I did during my previous account is not enough to calm me down. I'm still 100% absolutely sure I will be banned again, I can't shake off that feeling, so I can't enjoy my time here. There is nothing anyone can tell me to convince me I won't be banned. Even if God himself (if he existed) assured me I won't get banned, I'd still know I'll be banned.

So let's ban me and get it over with. I suggest an IP ban this time so that I won't be tempted to come back and whine again.

I will forever be alone and unlikeable, and no one will ever tell me why. I have to come to terms with this reality. So ban me. The sooner we get it over with, the sooner I'll come to terms with the fact that nobody will ever like me, so I'll be able to move on with my life alone, in a sufferable manner.

By the way, I'm still open to ideas if you know a safe and effective way of suiciding.

OK, whiner. And you won't, you just crave the validation. A shotgun to the head works - looks messy but that's just evidence it is effective. You could move to Canada where the govt will help you out...So many ways, with the internet you shouldn't have any issues. Of course, you won't...because those who do don't typically make a fucking diorama about it. Goddamn theatre kids...