Why Caddlebear? Why?!

[kendra1980]

Yayses!

*Huggles Kaybutt!*

You are most welcome! And answering questions is what Caddlebear's here for! *Noddles*

Wow? That was the first time? You must be extra, super special then! I've never had it happen to me... But, I'd get yelled at if it did... *Sighs*

Isn't it a good thing that the problem is your photos were too high quality? It's the kind of thing you can say proudly! Hehehehe

If you ever have any other questions, I shall do my best to answer them, you can be sure!

Mmmm....huggles, I love them.

Yes, too high quality. Thank goodness for friends who know this kind of thing, when your brain shuts down and you can't think of it yourself. Much like being able to go to Caddlebear when you've got questions.

I don't know if you've heard or not, but I've been called Kurious Kendra...that offer to answer questions, may keep you very, very busy!

 

[Cadoras]

A mooli, now I understand..............I love mooli, I hug it and stroke and call it George Mooli.

Thankyou for dispelling my perpelexion.

*Huggles* to the most wonder Caddlebear

Well.... I guess it's a result.... *Scratches head confuzzledly*

It is, right? Maybe?

*Hopes*

Yay for Mooli!

*Smiles and hugs Morrigu!*

 

[Cadoras]

Oh, that's just perfect Caddlebear.......*huggles back*

*glares at pervy RozyPozy and APpylicious*

Just one more question....

How do I manage to farm the jewwy babies wiv the big wiwwies if dey ALL have big wiwwies?? Don't I need a jewwy baby wivout a big wiwwy to do dat?

Confuzzled of UK

Oh dear.... *Ponders*

Let me see.... *Gets out the big book of jewwy baby reproduction*

Erm.... Okay... Caddlebear sees the solution.... And it's just a little bit odd... You need to start a jewwy baby ivf program... Because well... There's no way those male jewwy babies of yours are going to be able to reproduce normally with the female jewwy babies... Assuming you actually have some female jewwy baby stock that is... Though I am sure that APplebear could hook you up with some high quality breeding stock, if you asked her nicely *Nodulates*

I am sure this will solve all of your problems! And you'll be glad to know that the gestation period of jewwy babies is mere hours! *Smiles and nods*

Yay!

*Huggles for Lovemonster!*

 

[Cadoras]

Why Caddlebear do I feel all bleh? You know I know you know the answer to that don't you?

Aha! You have obviously been spending far too much time in the presence of sources of blehness! This can only be remedied by immediate immersion in incredibly non-blehified situations! You must completely remove bleh from your life... And if you are approached by any bleh, you must instantly take action to eliminate it, by any means necessary! It is the only way you can possibly rid yourself of this feeling of bleh!

*Huggles the hopefully less bleh Essa*

 

[lovemonster]

Oh dear.... *Ponders*

Let me see.... *Gets out the big book of jewwy baby reproduction*

Erm.... Okay... Caddlebear sees the solution.... And it's just a little bit odd... You need to start a jewwy baby ivf program... Because well... There's no way those male jewwy babies of yours are going to be able to reproduce normally with the female jewwy babies... Assuming you actually have some female jewwy baby stock that is... Though I am sure that APplebear could hook you up with some high quality breeding stock, if you asked her nicely *Nodulates*

I am sure this will solve all of your problems! And you'll be glad to know that the gestation period of jewwy babies is mere hours! *Smiles and nods*

Yay!

*Huggles for Lovemonster!*

Oooh....excellent solution Caddlebear! *much huggles*

*runs off to find APplebear's stash of jewwy babies*

*runs back again*

Ohhh, while I'm gone, could you pwease tell me the technique for 'milking' jewwy baby wiwwies for the ivf?

*runs off again*

 

[Cadoras]

Mmmm....huggles, I love them.

Yes, too high quality. Thank goodness for friends who know this kind of thing, when your brain shuts down and you can't think of it yourself. Much like being able to go to Caddlebear when you've got questions.

I don't know if you've heard or not, but I've been called Kurious Kendra...that offer to answer questions, may keep you very, very busy!

Who doesn't love huggles?

*Scatters a huge bunch of huggles around!*

Yay for huggles!

Oh, but your avatar still looks very good! It must've been super high quality to start with

Your brain goes on strike too? Mine goes on strike all the time! It depends better working conditions, shorter hours and all that stuff... It can get very troublesome, but if I hit it a few times, it gets the message.... Caddlebears are always um, answering questions! But I shall let you in on a secret.... Caddlebear doesn't actually research his answers, so if he doesn't know the answer, it could be unreliable...

Don't worry! I'm already heaps busy with the question answering! So I am sure I can add an inquisitive person! Just don't blame me if not all of my answers make sense....

*Cheers for Kuriousity*

 

[Cadoras]

Oooh....excellent solution Caddlebear! *much huggles*

*runs off to find APplebear's stash of jewwy babies*

*runs back again*

Ohhh, while I'm gone, could you pwease tell me the technique for 'milking' jewwy baby wiwwies for the ivf?

*runs off again*

Ums....

*Glances around worriedly*

Caddlebear hasn't actually had experience with milking jewwy baby wiwwies.... Not even for ivf purposes! But he assumes that one would just use their standard jewwy baby wiwwy operation, and make sure that they can um catch the jewwy baby making fluid for the ivf purposes.... You may wish to consult your jewwy baby doctor before proceeding though, just incase there are special requirements for your particular jewwy babies!

*Nods*

That will do it!

*More huggles for you!*

 

[Gracie29]

Why, Caddlebear, why . . . does my foot insist on pressin' down on the gas instead of the brake even though I very clearly see that officer sittin' right there?

 

[Morrigu]

Why, Caddlebear, why . . . does my foot insist on pressin' down on the gas instead of the brake even though I very clearly see that officer sittin' right there?

Quickstep in................cos you're naughty Gracie.................but we love you

 

[Gracie29]

Quickstep in................cos you're naughty Gracie.................but we love you

*snicker* That's just wrong on so many levels.

 

[Cadoras]

Why, Caddlebear, why . . . does my foot insist on pressin' down on the gas instead of the brake even though I very clearly see that officer sittin' right there?

*Gets out the big book*

Don't ask me what's in it.... I think it's mainly dust... But I need it....

*Flips through the pages*

Aha! Here we have it! *Points proudly*

Okay.... I'll bet you never knew that cars are actually created from a semi-sentient metal.... It's a playful kind of metal that likes to cause mischief.... So when it notices the police officer there, just waiting to catch you speeding... Your car actually reforms parts of itself and swaps the position of your accelerator and brake.... Even though you might have absolutely no intention of speeding... It'll still happen because you can't avoid the trickiness of your car! *Gwares at cars in general*

I hope that helps you Gracie! Though, I think it may just mean you're doomed to speed *Huggles for you!*

 

[kendra1980]

Why Caddlebear, why is it that when I wake up in the night and have to go pee, sometimes I just cannot get back to sleep. I mean, it isn't like it takes that long. And then I just lie there and think thoughts for the longest time before I can fall back asleep. This aggravates me.

Squishy,

Kaybutt

 

[Gracie29]

*Gets out the big book*

Don't ask me what's in it.... I think it's mainly dust... But I need it....

*Flips through the pages*

Aha! Here we have it! *Points proudly*

Okay.... I'll bet you never knew that cars are actually created from a semi-sentient metal.... It's a playful kind of metal that likes to cause mischief.... So when it notices the police officer there, just waiting to catch you speeding... Your car actually reforms parts of itself and swaps the position of your accelerator and brake.... Even though you might have absolutely no intention of speeding... It'll still happen because you can't avoid the trickiness of your car! *Gwares at cars in general*

I hope that helps you Gracie! Though, I think it may just mean you're doomed to speed *Huggles for you!*

Yay! Thank you for givin' me something to tell the next cop that pulls me over and asks me if I knew I was speedin'. "No, sir, I wasn't speeding. My car was!" *nods* Although . . . now I'm a little worried. You've just revealed to me that my car is out to get me. This can't be good!

*huggles* Thank you, Caddlebear!

 

[Morrigu]

I really need an answer for this, cos I ask myself the same damned question every day.

Why Caddlebear can my friends not see my happiness as a oneness and insist on 'accidentally on purpose' introducing me to people I will 'really hit it off with'................if I want to hit something I use a punchbag, not people...........

Distressingly yours Rigubear/GuGuDolly/Morri.............see look there's 3 of me, we're perfectly happy

 

[Cadoras]

Why Caddlebear, why is it that when I wake up in the night and have to go pee, sometimes I just cannot get back to sleep. I mean, it isn't like it takes that long. And then I just lie there and think thoughts for the longest time before I can fall back asleep. This aggravates me.

Squishy,

Kaybutt

Aha! You would think that only being barely awake briefly, would have little to no effect on your ability to sleep.... But... Sleep is evil like that! It takes personal offense at your willingness to abandon it for something as unimportant as bodily functions... So it won't just come back to you.... It will punish you, by ignoring you..... It may take hours, or even days before it lets you sleep again after such an insult....

*Sighs and huggles Kaybutt!*

Don't worry though, your sleep will eventually forgive you... And if you have a nice, kind, forgiving sleep... It might even forgive you quickly....

*More huggles for Kaybutt!*

 

[Cadoras]

Yay! Thank you for givin' me something to tell the next cop that pulls me over and asks me if I knew I was speedin'. "No, sir, I wasn't speeding. My car was!" *nods* Although . . . now I'm a little worried. You've just revealed to me that my car is out to get me. This can't be good!

*huggles* Thank you, Caddlebear!

Hehehehehehe!

I am sure it will work perfectly! What police officer doesn't know about the semi-sentient metal cars? Only the uneducated ones! And why would a police officer want to seem ignorant?

Awwwwwww.... I'm sure your car is only being playful! *Noddles and huggles Gracie!*

 

[Cadoras]

I really need an answer for this, cos I ask myself the same damned question every day.

Why Caddlebear can my friends not see my happiness as a oneness and insist on 'accidentally on purpose' introducing me to people I will 'really hit it off with'................if I want to hit something I use a punchbag, not people...........

Distressingly yours Rigubear/GuGuDolly/Morri.............see look there's 3 of me, we're perfectly happy

They're your friends! They want to set you up with someone... See you happy with someone.... Take credit for your happiness.... Avoid blame, if it doesn't work out... Because they accidentally introduced you, so it's not their fault *Nods* Friends are just like that... If they didn't care at all... Then would you really feel their love? It's part of friendship, to worry about your friends.... And hey! It's fun for them... They can make a game out of it, so why not?

*Grins and hugs you*

They're not hurting anyone, so don't let it bug you!

 

[asian_princess]

APplebear begs to differ.

But not tewwing you about what.

*huggles and gwins*

you can figure it out!

*giggles and pokes caddlebear to see how the progress of fattening up is coming along*

 

[Morrigu]

They're your friends! They want to set you up with someone... See you happy with someone.... Take credit for your happiness.... Avoid blame, if it doesn't work out... Because they accidentally introduced you, so it's not their fault *Nods* Friends are just like that... If they didn't care at all... Then would you really feel their love? It's part of friendship, to worry about your friends.... And hey! It's fun for them... They can make a game out of it, so why not?

*Grins and hugs you*

They're not hurting anyone, so don't let it bug you!

*sighs* Your wisdom knows no bounds Caddlebear.............I suppose I could get lots of free food out of the game.............and tis only a date if tongues are involved, so by biting mine I could still be dateless.

You don't think in this case cloning might help? A cloned me to send out there, while the happy with onenss me carried on with my uninterrupted happy?

*Huggles Caddlebear tightly for his infinite erm stuff*

 

[lovemonster]

Ums....

*Glances around worriedly*

Caddlebear hasn't actually had experience with milking jewwy baby wiwwies.... Not even for ivf purposes! But he assumes that one would just use their standard jewwy baby wiwwy operation, and make sure that they can um catch the jewwy baby making fluid for the ivf purposes.... You may wish to consult your jewwy baby doctor before proceeding though, just incase there are special requirements for your particular jewwy babies!

*Nods*

That will do it!

*More huggles for you!*

Thank you Caddlebear! *huggles for you*

Ummm.....APplebear won't give me her girly jewwy babies, can you suggest any methods by which I can persuade her to give up the goodies?

 

[asian_princess]

Thank you Caddlebear! *huggles for you*

Ummm.....APplebear won't give me her girly jewwy babies, can you suggest any methods by which I can persuade her to give up the goodies?

*gasps*

you wanna use my girlie jewwies for what?!

eeeeeeeeeeeeep!!

*huddles my girls up close*

don't wowwy! i won't let da naked lady take you!!!

 

[lovemonster]

*gasps*

you wanna use my girlie jewwies for what?!

eeeeeeeeeeeeep!!

*huddles my girls up close*

don't wowwy! i won't let da naked lady take you!!!

But I only want to have one, just to mate with my boy jewwies......because people keep stealing them!!

Pwease? Pwetty pweeeeeeeeaaaaaaase??

 

[kendra1980]

Aha! You would think that only being barely awake briefly, would have little to no effect on your ability to sleep.... But... Sleep is evil like that! It takes personal offense at your willingness to abandon it for something as unimportant as bodily functions... So it won't just come back to you.... It will punish you, by ignoring you..... It may take hours, or even days before it lets you sleep again after such an insult....

*Sighs and huggles Kaybutt!*

Don't worry though, your sleep will eventually forgive you... And if you have a nice, kind, forgiving sleep... It might even forgive you quickly....

*More huggles for Kaybutt!*

Dear and all knowing Caddlebear,

I see now that I must wait patiently for Sleep to forgive me, and just lie for minutes (or in some cases, hours) as it comes to term with its anger at my interrupting its work.

I would also like to thank you for the other huggles you sent the other night, they made me smile, which helped take away from my frustration with Sleep being so very evil.

*oh, and I listened to your rant then too *

You are the best. It's always good to have a place to come with those hard to answer questions, and know they will be given a thorough study, and most knowledgeable reply.

Squishy, hold you tight for long seconds, huggles to you, sweetest, smartest, most patient, Caddlebear!

Kaybutt

 

[Essa]

Oh... Caddlebear has never liked that money with pictures of Liz on it.... It's so boring.... So, I only use direct deposit.... Well, at least until all of this wonderful EmprEssa currency is ready.... Then we can use the best money ever made, with oodles of silver dazzle dust and a way better smell than regular money.... Maybe vodka! Oh, that'd be so cool! I can't even imagine you looking like a clown! *Tries really hard to imagine a clownlike Essa, but fails miserably* Nope! Absolutely not! *Applies the dazzle dust to Caddlebear's face* So, how do I look? Be honest.... I need to know if I look like some kind of clown.... Can't have Caddlebear looking bad, right? I have the equipment now! And I have decided that we'll have a 333 pound coin made from platinum! Because Caddlebear likes platinum.... Do we need any other coins? Or will that one do? I'm not sure what kind of coins people like....

There's no such thing as too much vodka! Are you sure you're really you? I can't believe you'd even say such a thing.... But you are young... And that vodka does tend to mix oddly with coke... So I guess I can understand your problem.... *Huggles the coke addled Essa!* The policemen weren't kind? But that's their job! How could they not be kind? *Sighs* Yay! *Pretends to be 24* Erm... What do the cool 24 years old do? Us old codgers can never keep up with the times.... Should I leave my walking stick at home? *Scratches head in confusion*

*Sputters a little* I was only comforting the commoner because I could see his wallet... So while I was pretending to be nice, I stole it... *Hands the wallet over to Essa* He was far too rich, greedy commoner! Oh! I'm sorry little mousey! I shall find you some less bright cheese.... Erm.... Essa? What's a wotsit? *Blinks confuzzledly* Caddlebear is kinda clueless here and he thinks he may need to leave the mice alone until he finds out.... He doesn't want to look stupid or anything! *Huggles the knowledgeable about wotsits Essa*

There have been problems with the eyeball deliveries.... I actually received them back in the mail today.... The postal system sucks! I even sent them express post.... It takes forever for them to get back to me! I shall get a plane very soon and deliver them to you personally... Then I can be sure that you'll actually get them! Want me to bring some Australian posties with me? *Gwares at the slack posties*

Argh! I had no idea... I thought it was just some kind of deformed, freak, outcast camel! I never would've guessed that it was "The Great Treasure Camel" I shall begin my search for it at once! Do you have any clues for me as to where it might be hiding? I am sure that such a rich camel must be very reclusive... Unless it's some kind of wild party camel? Hmmmmmm.... *Ponders* We need more information on this camel!

Wahoo! *Cheers for the vodka drinking Essa!* Don't worry, just put some kind of mark in one of the squares... On the paper... You'll be winning in no time! *Noddles* Oh.... That was unfortunate.... Maybe you shouldn't pinch them so hard next time? That's a lot of blood..... Uh oh.... Let's go for a walk over to um, there? Yes, there is good! *Nudges the corpse away*

Drug induced sleep state? Energy for days? Oh dear.... Caddlebear has an enhanced feeling of doom... Almost like someone is trying to kill him with flying cats.... *Thinks* Where could that feeling be coming from? *Eyes Essa suspiciously* No! Essa is pure and innocent, she'd never be trying to kill me! *Gwares at a random tile on the floor* It was you! Damn you! Evil tile! I always knew you had something against me! Now I finally have proof! *Gestures wildly!* This was all your doing! I know it! But.... That was black mascara.... And it was super expensive! That's what the person I stole it from was bragging about..... Damn them! Why do people always try to trick me when I'm shopping for presents? *Sighs*

I'm not an expert on T-Rex steaks! But apparently that T-Rex was.... Hmmmmmm.... Makes me wonder... You don't think he goes around killing other T-Rex's and selling them? Oh no! We can't possibly have him be an advisor! I've just realised that he's probably got his own shop and he's trying to get us to raise prices so he gets all the customers! Well, it's steaks for him... We can sell them as a special limited one, with 50% less mardy! *Nods*

*Sighs and gwares at the mardy ants* It's not like you were running around trying to stomp on them! They had plenty of chances to just walk away, they stood where they were and that's just suicide! I can't stand those suicidal, mardy ants.... If you want to die, don't complain when you do! It's that simple! *Nods* Hey! I didn't do it on purpose! You didn't tell me where the cream would come out! How was I supposed to predict that? I've never had one of these before..... But it is super yummy! *Eats the elephant's foot* Mmmmmm, tasty! *Smiles and huggles the creamy Essa*

Now... I guess it depends on exactly what you're using to shoot me in the head... I mean we can't risk destroying the whole head, cos then I couldn't be a zombie.... Hmmmms! But I think the knifing will work great! We are going to be leaving the knife in, right? Zombies always look cooler when they have knives sticking out of them... Then you never know when they'll pull them out and kill someone! Scary! It'll be loads of fun! *Huggles the zombie creating Essa*

Caddlebear is thinking that getting kicked between the legs is not a good situation for a Caddlebear, so he will just try to bribe penguins in the future.... Much better than sneaking up behind them and trying to throw a sack over their head! But um.... What if Caddlebear made his own super fancy betting slips instead? He'd even give the penguins really cool names! Way better than the crappy names the penguins have given each other.... People wouldn't be able to not bet on them... It'd be like an addiction! *Nodulates* Well, I did see some flying cats earlier... *Downs the vodka* Hey! That cat isn't swimming! It's rowing a boat! *Tips the boat over* Take that imaginary cat! Let's see you swim your way out of that! *Cackles!*

A jewel encrusted cyclops poking stick? Well of course! Nothing but the finest of cyclops poking sticks for the EmprEssa Essa! Do you want the super fancy poking stick holder as well? So you never need to worry about a cyclops accidentally impaling itself on the stick out of habit, while you're walking around? It's a must have! *Nods*

*Starts stacking up bricks* Caddlebear has never built a factory before.... He sure could use some of that instruction shouting right about now.... Maybe just a hint as to how to make the factory? *Smiles hopefully at Essa* Maybe we should start with the vodka making equipment!

Oh! Those helicopters are super fun! Yes, definitely get him one! I can just imagine the look of disappointment when he finds out it doesn't work... And all those girls laughing at him! It'll be priceless! He'll be there trying to figure out what's wrong... Telling the girls he'll be amazing them with it's flight ability... And he won't even have a chance! Loads of fun for everyone! *Smiles and huggles the great gift giving Essa!* Wow! You mean it? You'll cut up the paper and throw ice at me? It'll be like my own little wintery blizzard! I shall feel like the most specialest person ever!

*Gwares at your oven* How dare it do such a thing? I mean how could it possibly think it even has the right to burn a poor, innocent Essa? You were just minding your business, checking to make sure it was being a good oven and not burning you... And what does it do? It burns you! I mean that's exactly what it shouldn't be doing... I'd be giving it a serious talking to.... Can't let these ovens get away with disrespectful behaviour... Never know what it will lead to! Awwww! *Huggles for the unfortunately having to clean Essa* That's not nice.... *Shakes head* You should've forced the children to clean, it's only right... Hmmmms.... Caddlebear doesn't know how much 32 stone is... So he shall be very confused and then try to hide anyway! It's what Caddlebears do....

But you see.... When you've got one that just has grass... You need to send a bunch of people there and get them to make you stuff.... Then you have lots of stuff there.... And the people are working under your special laws for that area... So even though they might think they have rights, the second they step into your dodgy country, they're gone! It works really well! Not that I have countries like that.... Of course.... You gave them a whole toothpick? Or was that one each? I think they'd be a little greedy if they needed a toothpick each, personally *Sighs* The youth of today! They should have it in under 4 minutes! It's only a little bit of coal... Not like you're asking for gold or diamonds! If they don't manage it, just take away the toothpick, it's clearly a waste of resources and they should work their way up to it! *Nods*

Isn't that the most important thing? The look of disappointment and envy on their faces is just so precious.... And it just shows them that the adults are the ones that deserve the cooked food.... Frozen is good enough for children... It's not like they really appreciate it anyway! *Gwares at the ungrateful children* Was it good pizza? And should Caddlebear come over for some sometime? Caddlebear likes pizza!

Hang on! You're ironing school uniforms that haven't even been worn? *Sighs unhappily* Wonderful Essa's shouldn't be forced to do such tasks.... I shall explain this injustice to you.... *Nods*

You see... School uniforms don't really need to be ironed.... I mean come on... Your children are just going to ruin all of your ironing within 16 seconds of wearing the clothes... But the iron companies want you to think that it's necessary... So they spend money on extensive campaigns, to make you believe that it's wrong for you to not iron these clothes.... Would it surprise you to know that all school uniform making companies are actually owned by iron making companies? The two industries are completely connected! It is an outrage and it's all in the interest of forcing people to buy their irons! They'll go to whatever lengths they need to.... I mean it's not like a child even needs a uniform to learn... It's just part of a complex plot *Huggles the plotted against Essa!* I'm sorry!

Ooooh! Paper plane! *Cheers happily*

Thank you Essa! *Sends you a little remote controlled helicopter, lugging a cargo of huggles and vodka*

Have a simply wonderful day

Yep, Liz is the most boringest person ever, she never smiles, I reckon she’s got gammy teeth. I look like a clown every Friday night, the amount of make-up I cake on my face starts to sweat off after four litres of vodka and a can of diet coke, I blame the yucky ingredients in the coke myself *Admires the dazzle dusting wearing Caddlebear* You look simply dazzling, hurray for dazzle dust. A 333 pound coin is perfect, you sneaky Caddlebear you, We can sell really crap things and because the only coin is a 333 pound one, no one will ever get any change. *Huggles the money grabbing Caddlebear*

Actually retract that statement, I was obviously feeling delusional from to little vodka and had no idea what I was saying, it happens sometimes, I do an awful lot of apologising me. The policemen were awful, I was sick in their beard but that doesn’t give them the right to be unkind does it? You must leave your walking stick at home, go buy a hoody and stand menacingly on a street corner, drinking lemonade from a can that says extra strength beer. Don’t forget, you must mumble so nobody has a clue what you’re saying. There, you’re perfectly set now. Happy 24th

*Rummages through the wallet* Damn, there’s nothing here, is Caddlebear trying to deceive EmprEssa Essa? You have a quarter of a second to hand over the cash, it’s a good job you’re my friend or you’d have less time. *Eyes Caddlebear angrily*
You don’t know what a wotsit is? What happened to the crate I sent you, don’t tell me you sold them before looking? *Huggles the in deep trouble now Caddlebear*

Oooh definitely bring me some Australian posties, I’ve never tasted them before, remember I’ve only got a small garden so you’ll have to land your plane on next doors roof, I’m sure they won’t mind to much, just in case bring your oozie

I’m sorry Caddlebear, I only give out the orders, you’re gonna have to find the camel yourself, I did hear on the grapevine of a posh camel ball, how about you get your glad rags on and start there? A slight problem is that you’ll need a date, I’ve rang Camilla and she’ll be willing to accompany you for three snogs.

Ooops, what have you done to that poor person? I told you not to drink so much Vodka, *Drags over a wheely bin* pop him in there, the bin men can toss him on the rubbish dump, can’t have bodies littering the street *Scowls at the littering corpse* Some people just have no class.

Maybe Caddlebear should start buying EmprEssa Essa presents instead of stealing them, of course people are going to deceive you. These commoners have no morals whatsoever, unlike me. *Injects the cats with more energy drugs*

You do realise you must never ever trust a T-Rex, the mardier they are the less trustworthy they are. We shall force him to take us to his shop later and smash a glass in the middle of the floor, that should show him we mean business. Then we’ll kill him and eat him.

Actually I did do a little dance meaning my feet were stomping all over the place but hey, I’m allowed it’s my street, they’re supposed to stay in their ant hills anyway. Do I go around trespassing in their hills? No. They were lucky anyway, I almost poured a kettle of hot water on them but the plug fused. You liked the elephants foot? They’re very sickly aren’t they? *Makes Caddlebear eat five more and watches his face turn green*

I never thought of that, are you sure I couldn’t just disfigure you’re head slightly? No? Jeesh you’re being a tad mardy here, you know I can’t abide mardy Caddlebears *Sticks the knife in Caddlebears ear just because I can*

Bribing penguins can work, I hear they’re partial to a chocolate gaje or two. A wonderful idea to make your own fancy betting slips, perhaps a sprinkle of dazzle dust over the top would make them even fancier. I hear they have gold dazzle dust now. See I told you there was such a thing as swimming cats, Caddlebear that cat hasn’t got any armbands on, what on earth are you doing? *Rescues the almost drowned cat* Now you’ll have to give it the kiss of life.

Yes please *Huggles the thoughtful Caddlebear* May I also have the jewel encrusted cyclops poking book as well, I really need to do some more research, it’s only 77,000 squillion quid *Smiles sweetly*

Never fear Caddlebear, I’m on hand to offer my shouting assistance…put that brick on that brick and keep going ‘till you reach the fluffiest cloud in the sky. *Sits back with the already made vodka making equipment and brews myself a litre*

Wouldn’t it be wonderful? I’m thinking of videoing it just so his shame can last forever. Sometimes I struggle with what a good mother I am Of course you’ll feel special and just to feel even more special I’ll even hit you across the face with a wet fish, it’s a must have feeling for our Winter

I gave the oven a severe dressing down and it cried. It did however promise me it would never burn me again as long as I didn’t turn it on. I’ve been cooking a chicken for three days now

It was scrumptious pizza, the children did get a little upset when they saw the melting cheese dripping down my chin, but I stuck to my guns, I wouldn’t allow them to have any of it. Number one son lost a tooth on the frozen pizza, boy did he scream, it was nearly enough to put me off eating my own delicious one, but not quite. Caddlebear should definitely come over for pizza eating with EmprEssa Essa but make sure you bring loads of money, I like pizza seven times a day.

I can’t believe I’ve been foiled by the Iron companies, I always wondered why non-iron shirts did in fact need to be ironed. From now on I’m sending them to school in creased clothes, you never know it could set a new trend and then them greedy companies will be out of business.

A very seious, sad question for Caddlebear today. Why Caddlebear has a fly just landed in my muller-rice, when it knew how hungry I was? It was apple flavour as well.

*Masses of huggles and snuggles for a fandabedozie night*

 

[Morrigu]

Caddlebear..............someone has pinched my bottom

It was there last time I looked, but I'm not sure when that was as I don't peek that often. No ransome note has been received. Being rather attached to it I would quite like it back and could do with advice on where to start looking.

*bounces all over you, with huggles thrown in*