What made you laugh your ass off today?

[pleasteasme]

I love eBay! What kinds of things do you auction off?

I have some animal equipment that I no longer use and a whole boat load of collectibles that I don't need in my life anymore. Oh, then there is always the closet brimming with clothes that no longer fit but are in great shape!

 

[Quoll]

I hang out on here way too much. I just was looking at an advertisement for some graphic novels, and saw one called The King's Dog--except i read it as the The King's Dong. Good for quite a case of the giggles.

I have a site bookmarked that I was looking for today.

What I saw: The Vagina Quilter

What it really said: The Virginia Quilter

Maybe I spend too much time at Lit..

.....

 

[bmw1080]

This:

HONEY, NOT TONITE...



I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently there's no sex tonight either.

 

[pleasteasme]

This:

HONEY, NOT TONITE...



I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently there's no sex tonight either.

Men can be so evil.

 

[EJFan]

Men can be so evil.

yes... yes we can...

*wrings hands... sinister laughter*

 

[pleasteasme]

yes... yes we can...

*wrings hands... sinister laughter*

Hey, what happened to mini me?


Careful with that laugh, some people might not like it!

 

[EJFan]

Hey, what happened to mini me?

mini me was adopted by a group of nuns... he's now a part time mascot at william & mary.

 

[pleasteasme]

mini me was adopted by a group of nuns... he's now a part time mascot at william & mary.

You're funny *looking*

 

[Quoll]

Hey EJ, potential new av and title.

 

[EJFan]

Hey EJ, potential new av and title.

where's the new title part?

and where'd you get a picture of my ex?

 

[EJFan]

You're funny *looking*

sticks and stones may break my boner... well, assuming the force vector is great enough to overcome the elasticity coefficient.

 

[pleasteasme]

sticks and stones may break my boner... well, assuming the force vector is great enough to overcome the elasticity coefficient.

 

[Quoll]

where's the new title part?

and where'd you get a picture of my ex?

The name of the pic is the title, sheesh, they're no good if I have to explain 'em.

 

[pleasteasme]

The name of the pic is the title, sheesh, they're no good if I have to explain 'em.

Just.

Don't.

Laugh.

 

[EJFan]

The name of the pic is the title, sheesh, they're no good if I have to explain 'em.

*light bulb goes off*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... now i see. i was too rivited by the picture to read the filename.

 

[Quoll]

Ok so it wasn't that funny, just humour me ok.

 

[bmw1080]

Men can be so evil.

yeh, but I bet you had a smile on your lips as your read this !

 

[pleasteasme]

yeh, but I bet you had a smile on your lips as your read this !

I did! I love when tables get turned...it is just so fair.

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

This.

Scaly, you planning a special party you want to tell us about?

 

[Saucyminx]

Scaly, you planning a special party you want to tell us about?

Forget the telling--i think i want to see pictures or maybe video of this party. I can hear the tv commercial now "Scalywags Gone Wild." C'mon, you guys know you would all buy it.

 

[SlickTony]

This.

That's too true to be funny.

'scuse me, I was refering to the quip about company policy.

Fun looking party game, though.

 

[EJFan]

a sort of blooper clip on E! this morning...

interviewer: you've done a number of nude/sex scenes in your career

actor: yes.

interviewer: is it ever hard?

hysteria follows.

 

[silverwhisper]

that's beautiful, dude.

ed

 

[Guest]