What is your best excuse when you call in sick?

[BlondGirl]

I have never done this before but circumstances require it for me tomorrow. I already feel guilty.

Give me a good excuse to use that I can live up to .

Tell me the best one you have used (best = most successful).

Thanks in advance.

 

[cybergirly]

Best is a simple "Stomach flu". They won't ask questions for fear of the answers.

 

[Guest]

I once told my boss I had projectile diarrhea. It worked.

 

[Spinaroonie]

I have AIDS and I don't want to get AIDS juice all over the office.

I should be well by Tuesday.

 

[Kuntmode]

n/a

Tell them one of the studs in your cunt got lost, and you are trying to track down one of 20 men who may have swallowed it when you were moonlighting the other night as a ho.

 

[cybergirly]

The best excuse (that didn't work) I've ever heard was...

"My rabbit died." told to me by a 56 year old male employee.

 

[Belilica]

Say your caregiver is puking and can't watch your little one. That has worked, but it was always true (well, lack of babysitting, anyways)

 

[HeavyStick]

I tell them I'm at the toilet getting sick, as I'm talking to them I pour some soup/stew in the toilet and hangup. They call back in 15 minutes saying they have it covered.

 

[Lost Cause]

Insanity defense.........

Just whisper to them in the best "Apocalypse Now" impression, that the voices in the ceiling told you to stay home and clean your automatic weapons! Muahahahahaha!

 

[Killswitch]

The few times I have called in to work.....I have never lied about why...and I dont tell them why....its none of their business, and they dont care why....all they know is and all they need to know is that you wont be there.

I say.....I am not coming in today....I will see you tomorrow.

 

[Saint Peter]

SaintPeter: I cant come in today. I'm sick.

Boss: You dont sound sick.

SaintPeter: I'm fucking sister. Is that sick enough for you?

 

[Guest]

Most reliable

My most reliable way of getting a day off was placing a collect call to my employer and giving the impression I was in police custody ..... Funny how many times that actually worked .....

 

[Killswitch]

Word to the wise people.....It doesnt matter what you tell them they dont believe you.

 

[nasty1]

Just tell em you're not feeling good. No questions asked. That's what I do.

 

[p_p_man]

I once told my boss I had projectile diarrhea. It worked.

Hey I used that one once!

But mine was projectile vomiting...

They wouldn't have me back for a week in case I had a relapse in the office...



ppman

 

[freakygirl]

I think employers should require Drs notes from employees who call in sick.

 

[horny_giraffe]

I hate giving excuses. When I make an excuse I feel like a loser that can't take responsibility for my life and straighten up my act.

When I'm late I say "I'm sorry I'm late."--but I don't explain why I was late unless they specifically ask.

When I want or need a day off, I say "I sorry I can't come to work. I have a personal emergency." or "I'm sorry, I can't work today because I'm sick." That's about it.

I try not to take too many unplanned days off--and I figure that they should take me at my word. I'm not going to "prove" to anyone that I'm too sick to work. I'm not getting a note from Mommy--it's my life and I'm an adult. I make my own decisions.

 

[Guest]

 

[Killswitch]

I think employers should require Drs notes from employees who call in sick.

My place tried to pull that on me after I was out two days in a row once.....I told my boss to blow me........but then again....I work for a company that has five thousand employees and I am consistantly in the top five producers in the nation.

So....I get slack and take liberties....but I produce like a mother fucker too....so.....

 

[babydoll_73]

Pink eye always works for me. Others can catch it really easily. People don't want you to come to work if you have pink eye cuz all you have to do is touch your eye and touch something else and the whole workplace can have it. So use that cuz they usually don't ask questions about it.

 

[p_p_man]

I told my boss to blow me

To hell with your production capacity...

I'm more interested in what happened next...



ppman

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea are usually enough to get the day off. Have some soup on hand to create realistic sound effects by throwing it against a wall.

A relative's death should be enough to get you from the day to the week off, although with this one you have to keep track of who's dead and who's are still living. You can't use it very often, either, or else it gets suspicious.

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Also, lice are a decent excuse if you have no pride or dignity.

 

[Killswitch]

To hell with your production capacity...

I'm more interested in what happened next...



ppman

It was a figure of speak you perverted dude....dont you have some christmas gifts to wrap or something....

 

[agezinder]

Word to the wise people.....It doesnt matter what you tell them they dont believe you.

You are sooo right...

I've only lied once when calling in sick and that was in high school. Otherwise, I've either suckered some guy into covering for me or I told the truth and said...Hey, this is happening, I need to take tomorrow off and I'll make up the extra work.