Was she asking to get raped?

[KillerMuffin]

I've been thinking about that movie "The Accused" lately. I haven't seen it in a long time so I'm not going to be totally up on it, but essentially what happened is this girl, Sarah, was a total bar slut. She wore "fuck me" like a neon sign. Micro-skirt, tiny little shirt with no bra, the whole kit'n kaboodle. Basically the morals of an alley cat. She's in this bar and gets gang-raped by these three men on a pool table. She just wanted fun, not fucking and she made that very clear. There are spectators egging the rapists on and howling like it's a football game and the cheerleaders are naked.

Anyway, she goes to court against her rapists and they get off with a slap on the wrist and she's pretty much indicted as a slut. She goes up against the spectators next and manages to get them heavy sentences for their part in it.

Back to my point now.

Can women "ask for it?" This girl was handing out free samples on this bar and the general opinion of the rape trial was that she got was she was asking for. I realize that rape situations can be avoided by a little forethought, but how much blame can be placed on the rape victim for the rape? Is it always rape if she's a total slut? Like that old expression, you can't rape a whore.



Personally, if she doesn't want it and they give it to her anyway, it's rape. I don't believe that a victim has any culpability in a rape no matter how she dresses or acts in public. I think that in circumstances like where they're both naked and into heavy foreplay and she says no then, that's a little different, it's still rape, but that's just a dirty thing to do to a guy. I understand that some women cry rape when no such thing ever happened. I'm not interested in those situations at the moment, new thread topic. Outside of those scenarios, I don't think a girl can ask for it.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[perks]

I saw that movie a long time ago.

Yeah, she was a tramp, but that was her decision.

Rape wasn't her decision.

It's not okay to rape prostitutes or strippers, and it's not ok to rape the local bar slut.

That spectators thought they were at a sporting event was adding insult to injury.

No, a person doesn't ask for it, if they did, it wouldn't be rape.

 

[Guest]

 

[Shiner]

I saw that movie a long time ago.

Yeah, she was a tramp, but that was her decision.

Rape wasn't her decision.

It's not okay to rape prostitutes or strippers, and it's not ok to rape the local bar slut.

That spectators thought they were at a sporting event was adding insult to injury.

No, a person doesn't ask for it, if they did, it wouldn't be rape.

Yep what she said 100%.

 

[Guest]

 

[Monazwx]

Showing off what you have, hence, "dressing like a slut" is not asking for rape.

That is a tacky excuse for any man to use.
I can't believe society falls for it so often.

Edited to say: Women should not have to "dress down" and look demure and unattractive just because some people have a dress code problem.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Showing off what you have, hence, "dressing like a slut" is not asking for rape.

That is a tacky excuse for any man to use.
I can't believe society falls for it so often.

______

Agreed, Mona.

Rape, by the general definition, is an act of violence, not sex.

 

[Guest]

 

[Monazwx]

If a girl wants to wear a short skirt or show clevage, it's HER perrogrative.

People say that clothes are an experssion of the self and being sexy doesn't mean that one wants to have sex with a guy right then and there.

No women deserves to be raped any reason, esp. not one as flimsy as dress.

Another Edit:The spectators in the movie had a responsibilty to ensure that her rights were protected and failed. I see them as equally liable. The sad part is that they were too busy getting off. Everyone involved should have gotten stiffer penalties.

 

[capricious_chic]

No. Regardless of what a woman says, does, wears, insinuates, starts, instigates; the answer is always no. No one deserves to have choice taken away from them.

Yes, it was based on a true story. I think alot of what is not thought of is the group dynamic. Any of those people involved would probably not have acted as they did, it there had not been a group of peers cheering them on. A person alone is usually pretty smart, people in a group are not.

 

[Wiggles]

If it was ok for her to be raped, then wouldn't it be true that anyone in the rapists position would have raped her? That the raping is no judge of their character?

If the woman dresses and acts like a slut that's her business. When you force your body on her that's your business and you should be held accountable for it no matter who you do it to.

Pretty simple, black and white, to me.

 

[bored1]

I recall the movie quite well, She was acting quite the tease with the one individual, however, she said NO. When someone says NO, one should stop. No one deserves or asks to be raped. Victims of forced or coerced sex carry the scars with them their entire lives.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Excellent question

Basically, no matter how you look at it, rape is wrong. The problem with scenarios like this is we tend to mistake our disapproval of her actions for approval of thiers.
They shouldn't rape her, she shouldn't be such a slut. Technically, it's her choice, but killing is a choice too, that doesn't make it right.
I won't condemn her for being a slut (it's not like fucking hurts anyone on levels like murder and rape do) but there's no moral standard in that type of behavior, and people won't respect it. That often (and justifiably) means that people won't respect her when they know she acts in that manner. That destroys any chances of sympathetic treatment, basically branding her as guilty instead of them.
Unfair? Yes, but the world is...

 

[Monazwx]

Mob mentality is a depressing element of the human condition.

 

[tulip2lipservice]

Well dang I have to stop hanging out

in NYC in my lingerie then. Basic line is if a person says no it is no. There have been times in my escapades that I flirt a lot and give kisses. When I feel like I am uncomfortable I pull back. I think that should go for anybody else.

I think what she was doing based on the movie was to simply flirt. To feel desirable and not to be forced into anything. I assume if that college guy or the other one would of asked her to go to his place she might of. That would of been her choice. That does not mean she wanted to be forced right there and then with multiple partners. It was a crowd thing where all the men felt that it was all right to do it. It was out of her control and she was victimized in that. If you think about it is similiar to the Puerto Rican Day Parade in Central Park years ago. A crowd mentality. The women walking by did not ask to have their jogging clothes ripped off or what not. Men were in this "it is all right mode cause they are doing this over there" and what not. I feel that it all started off as fun and games. Let's wet this womans shirt and what not. You get the child mode in you and laugh and giggle about it. Then it esculated into something far worse. It crossed the line into assault and into a criminal act.

Hans not everybody has that fantasy of being gang raped. I know I don't. If it is a woman's or man's fantasy I am sure there are plenty of swingers groups or bdsm groups one can join to partake in it. That is not what the woman that this movie was based about did. She was hanging in a bar with her friend who worked there. She started to flirt cause she liked the attention. Things got way out of control and she lost her freedom to stop it. Not by her choice or will. That is what makes it rape.

To others out there reading do you feel what a woman wears gives others the right to do what they want to that person? If so then jeez I should become a Muslim and wrap myself up from head to toe.

Peace,
Tulip

 

[crysede]

I agree with ya KM

I think it's the same as with terrorism. It doesn't matter what was done, who it was done to, who it was done by, or how many legitimate grievances they had - there are no mitigating circumstances that make terrorism less of a crime. Same with rape - doesn't matter what the victim's character was like, how they dressed, where they were, or how they behaved - there are no mitigating circumstances.

 

[Wiggles]

Re: Excellent question

That often (and justifiably) means that people won't respect her when they know she acts in that manner. That destroys any chances of sympathetic treatment, basically branding her as guilty instead of them.
Unfair? Yes, but the world is...

This reminds me of the scene in Erin Brokovich, which has been playing over and over, in the courtroom. You see a video of her getting whammed in the side of her little beat up car by a flying bmw or the likes. In the courtroom the defense brings up the fact that she's been married and divorced twice, ovbiously making her an amoral person while the good doctor is sooo responsible.

Guess who won the case?

 

[Ezarc]

No means no. Her past, her dress and appearence all mean nothing as soon as she is no longer consenting.

 

[patient1]

I never saw the movie, but I remember hearing about the crime at the time. If I left my car parked on the street with the windows down & the keys in the ignition, it could still be stollen. The fact that I am a fool doesn't mean it's impossible to exploit me. It means that the judge should take it into account during sentencing.

I wonder if they could use the "attractive nuisance " concept as a defense in such a case? I never liked that, either.

 

[Monazwx]

Even Muslim girls are raped.
Moreso than usual because of the social/political beliefs there.

It's the power, not the sex.
Guys may say that girls may tease them and play games but ultimately, a forceful,
"NO!" should be enough to shut down the situation.

 

[bknight2602]

I don't think it is reasonable to expect to get raped just on how a person acts or dresses. Mind you she could have been much more careful, and maybe not have gotten raped. But this isn't the sort of thing that normal people should get involved in. The gang experience teaches us that we can all get caught up in the moment. We should use common sense and get out, but crowd philosophy is powerful, especially when it is a bunch of "bonding" guys drunk at the local watering hole!

 

[Guest]