Virgins

[Guest]

I'm not gonna lie, but I'm a 20 yr old guy who is still a virgin, these days it appears that virginity is frowned upon in society at this point in time. All my friends aren't virgins and they wonder why I'm still one, I'm not sure myself. I'm not really that bad of a guy either, I do have a girlfriend who I moved away from but still committed to her. She's going to be 18 early next year and she's still a virgin in the same "world" I am in. I was just wondering why people place that virgins are inferior to people who've had sex?

Funny thing is, I'm not one to wait till marriage for the honor of making love with someone, but there's really no places that a 20 year old can go around and find someone for a casual relationship in my hometown.

Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend, but due to distances we agreed to explore new avenues before she moves down here for college to see if things can still work between us. And right now, I know myself will never change my attitude about her, it's been 4 great years with her. But if anyone can enlighten me on this subject, please do so, thanx.

 

[XXplorher]

(I was just wondering why people place that virgins are inferior to people who've had sex?)

There's a real big possibility they've got it backwards. You put a higher premium on sex, in particular - the first time. That can't be ridiculed.
Find your OWN way, nevermimd what 'society' tells you is proper, or not.

I myself, was in my late teens. She was in her late 20's, it was in Puerta Vallarta, in an unbelievable tropical - open air suite, the sky and the stars above us, the ocean in our ears (and other pleasant noises), and I really dug her! It was great. I remember it like yesterday, and it's a pleasant memory. I only knew her for a week, but it didn't matter - she was 'the one' for that occurance (great blow job too, my GOD! Still ranks right up there)

Of course I thought I was fantastic that night - and I completely sucked! Did all the moves I had planned on, went down on her etc - but I didn't know how to feel it yet. So don't put too much expectations on it. You'll improve.

Decide for yourself when it's right. How would someone else know?

 

[MzAdvizd]

Read my finger tips NO CASUAL SEX. Too dangerous, nothing wrong with being a twenty year old virgin, and why should anyone else care? It seems that you really care for this young lady, don't risk it all for one meaningless fling. I'm glad I'm way beyond the dating game, scary world of loose sex out there. Becareful.

 

[*Eve*]

There are probably a lot more 20 year old virgins than you think

[This message has been edited by *Eve* (edited 11-22-1999).]

 

[*Eve*]

I think it's great that you're still a virgin. It simply means that you didn't want to throw it away on just anyone, and that says a lot about a person. You shouldn't rush to lose it because you feel that you have or because you think that everyone else is doing it. Save it until you're ready because if you lose it for losing it sake then it will probably be disappointing. I know it's easier said then done, especially since I'm certainly no saint, but I think your first time should be something special.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Spooky, I personally think you are to be commended. I am old enough to be your father and then some and I can tell you without a doubt that my first time was with someone I genuinely cared about and it was SO SPECIAL! I can still remember every moment of that special night. I am convinced that if I had taken opportunities earlier with young ladies I didn't have any real feelings for, I would have found it to be a very disappointing and empty experience.

It looks like you already have that "special someone" to give yourself to for the first time. Believe me, you won't be sorry if you wait. I think you're admirable to wait for the right moment and person.

I will even go so far as to tell you if you pick your partners well and carefully, every sexual encounter you have will be joyous and will stay with you all of your days.

WAIT FOR HER. Be well!

PHANTOM

 

[Hullo_nurse]

Being a 20yr old virgin is OK...I was 22 when I lost mine. Granted I made up for it, once that cherry was popped there was no stopping me for a couple of years (well, actually I still haven't stopped...), but the first time was with someone I wanted to be with, & was with for a good year or so afterwards (along with others, tee hee, like his best friend & his cousin), and that first time was special. I think what I am getting at is that it is ok to wait until you are ready & are with the right person. Once you find the proper time, place & person---GO FOR IT!!

 

[Butterfly]

Hey nothing wrong with being a 20yr old virgin. Nothing wrong with being a virgin at all. You do have that special someone, don't blow it just because you want to experiment. when the time is right whenever it will happen and whatever you do, be careful there is alot of scary shit going on it the world now adays. Thank God I'm out of that loop.

 

[Laurel]

A 20-year-old virgin? What the hell is wrong with you?!

Just kidding, of course. Everyone was being so supportive I felt I had to jump in and provide a little variety. hehe

If you've already experienced oral and manual sex with another person, intercourse isn't that big of a difference. I lost mine at a horrendously young age and it sucked. He was too big, I was too dry, he couldn't pop my cherry - it was awful.

I think if I'd waited 5 years or so it might have been easier. Sex can be pretty scary when you're young, especially if the person you're with is more concerned with getting off than helping you get there. The older you are, the more secure you tend to be, the better it can feel. Just my $0.02.

 

[XXplorher]

(I lost mine at a horrendously young age and it sucked. He was too big, I was too dry, he couldn't pop my cherry - it was awful.)

You have no idea how sad that makes me.... ouch....... really? Damn. Damn, damn, damnitt! Me sad........
Forever carried over, yes?

A good example, eh Spooky? Never before it's time.....

Laurel, you're crushing my chest right there. Damnitt!

 

[Cairo]

Nothing wrong with it at all. The only thing was, that before I lost my own virginity, I thought about sex constantly. My first time was better than my wildest dreams, but that was because I had fallen in love with that young lady (and I'm still with her). Losing my virginity didn't stop me from thinking about making love (I think it backfired, actually), but I know now that I was in no way inferior to anyone before I lost my virginity. Like the folks here said, wait on her (whoever she might be)-- if you do,I promise it will blow your mind.

Laurel, your story is like playing "The Death March" on my heart strings... Whew! Glad you made it through that one, lady!

[This message has been edited by Cairo (edited 11-24-1999).]

 

[Laurel]

Hey now - it's no biggie! (hehe) Really! I survived, and went on to have many satisfying, sometimes electrifying encounters ("many" being less than enough to make me a slut, but enough to know what's up! hehe). So no pity, guys... The first time doesn't necessarily have to be the best!

 

[HSWriter]

I think that, for a male, your first time is not as good as the second. Usually guys are too excited and they cum too quickly. This can sometimes make the experience not so good for the girl.
but thats just what I think.

 

[HARDKOREBJ]

you should wait

it should be special for both of you.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

WOW, why did you bring a 2 year old thread back to life?

 

[Lord Emu]

I am an 18 year old virgin soon to be a 19 year old virgin and its ot so bad. I get made fun of sometimes by other guys but I don't care. I would like to wait for the right girl and I would prefer that we were married before having sex.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Funny thing is, I'm not one to wait till marriage for the honor of making love with someone, but there's really no places that a 20 year old can go around and find someone for a casual relationship in my hometown.

Don't do this; don't have sex just to have sex. Your first time may not be special, but it should be withsomeone special. Having casual sex with someone just to become an ex-virgin is more likely to be a let down, or at the very least an anti-climax. To get some views on this go back to the polls I created a couple of weeks ago on the ages of when men and wome lost their virginity. Not that many of them were "special" and many said they wished they had waited until later.

The first time should be with someone you want to continue having sex with - not because the first time is going to be special, but because it will probably take time to get to that point. You love your girlfriend - if you are serious about waiting for her and that she is the one you want for the rest of your life, the wait for her in more ways than one.

In some ways I really regret not playing the field more when I was young, but that is mostly because I married the wrong person and now I consider that as a waste of time (except for the fact that I now have a daughter I love).

I have had casual sex and I now regret it as it was meaningless and a few times the sex had severe consequences (people were embaressed and hurt by my one night stands).

If you absolutely want sex now, then get another serious girlfriend and develop a relationship first. If not - then wait. It is good to date quite a number of people before settling down, but not just for casual sex.

As for people looking down their nose at virgins - these are immature people (regardless of age) who have so little self confidence that they must put down others to prop themselves up. Society feeds on that.

Look at the people here - for the most part we are people who are comfortable with who we are sexually, whether that means we are virgins, swingers, gay, whatever - and I have yet to read of one person telling you that you should get rid of that "pesky virginity" or see them looking down their nose at you.

 

[Renegade]

HARDKOREBJ

You do realize that by now this guy has probably gotten laid by more then just his girlfriend, right?

For his next trick, HKBJ will bring up one of the Patryn/Grey suicide threads and start saying "Don't do it. There are nice guys like me who can make you feel happy and special."

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: HARDKOREBJ

You do realize that by now this guy has probably gotten laid by more then just his girlfriend, right?

DOH!

I didn't even look at the date on the first post!

For his next trick, HKBJ will bring up one of the Patryn/Grey suicide threads and start saying "Don't do it. There are nice guys like me who can make you feel happy and special."

What a waste of time!

HKBJ, guy.. With all due respect - think next time before resurrecting a thread! Sheesh!

 

[HARDKOREBJ]

VIRGIN THREAD

why should it matter how old the thread is.i thought it would be interesting to bring it back to life.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: VIRGIN THREAD

why should it matter how old the thread is.i thought it would be interesting to bring it back to life.

Because I wound up giving advice to someone who started the thread two years ago and probably isn't here on the BB any longer (not to mention probably lost his virginity since then).

It was essentially a waste of my time because it was specific to his problems and probably nobody else's.

DO NOT waste my time like this again!

 

[HARDKOREBJ]

hey

if you read it then you wouldn`t wasted your time.next time read it before you reply.